Barrier smiled as he gazed out one of the palace windows. Snow had begun to gently fall as he headed towards the mess hall.
All things considered, things had been going rather pleasantly for the past few months. Training the cadets had gone rather smoothly and the war was gradually starting to turn more and more in their favor. With Hearth’s Warming coming soon, it seemed like things would be almost peaceful for a change.
“Captain!” Swiftsword’s shout echoed through the hallway, followed shortly by the sounds of a stampede of rushing hooves. Looking over his shoulder, Barrier saw the five cadets under his command charging towards him.
“Almost peaceful… I suppose something was bound to happen.” Barrier quietly sighed before the five skidded to a halt in front of him. “Status report, Swift.”
“Sir, we have an emergency!” Swift said as she threw out a salute, followed by the other cadets. “A mouse by the name of Madam Mouserinks got into an argument with Prince Celestia, demanding she surrender the palace to her.”
“After the princess told her where to stick it, the mouse put a horrible curse on her,” Hatty interjected, much to Swift’s annoyance. “And now, Princess Celestia has a curse placed upon her that makes her utterly hideous. Now all the stallions in the castle are being called on to try and break the curse.”
“...A mouse did this?” Barrier asked through a quirked eyebrow.
“Yes, sir,” Gem answered. “Now we need to find a stallion to break this curse.”
“And Ember wonders why I drink sometimes,” Barrier said with a roll of his eyes before starting down the hallway in the opposite direction, the cadets quickly falling in line behind him. “So, what do we need to do to break this curse?”
“According to what we were told,” Forge spoke up. “To break the curse, a stallion who has never shaved or worn boots must crack a Krakatuk nut with their teeth. Once it’s cracked, the princess will only have to eat the nut and the curse will be broken.”
“Princess Luna has a Krakatuk nut in her possession, but so far, none of the stallions in the palace have been able to break the nut yet.” Verdant picked up Forge’s thread as Barrier and the squad started to round a corner.
“Of course. Can’t be something straightforward that breaks the spell. It’s gotta be something really complicated,” Barrier groaned and resisted the urge to pull his flask from a hidden compartment in his armor, work hours be damned. “Still, I don’t know of many stallions that need to shave or wear boots, so we should be able to find one who can do so with little issue.”
“Uh, sir,” Hatty said before coughing into a hoof of his. “I… wore boots once as part of one of my magic shows years ago.”
“And my mother made me wear boots whenever it rained back in Gallopfrey, so I’m out,” Forge bashfully said before rubbing the back of his neck.
“Well, if need be, I should… crap!” Barrier exclaimed as he recalled a distant memory of when he was very small. His mother made him wear a little sailor uniform for a family portrait, complete with four little boots.
With an exasperated sigh, he looked back over his shoulder to look at the stallion with the green and white coat. “How about you, Verdant? Ever shave or wear boots?”
“Sir, no, sir!” Verdant quickly replied, making the group sigh in relief. “I’ve never needed to shave and my mother insisted I never wear boots, saying that ‘earth ponies should never disconnect themselves from the earth by covering their hooves.”
“Well, at least we’ve got somepony that’s qualified to try if the curse hasn’t been broken yet,” Barrier said as he saw they’d reached the throne room doors. With a flare of his horn, his magic pushed the doors wide open. It was then Barrier came across a sight that would make nearly any stallion retch, himself included though he succeeded in choking the reflex down.
Sitting upon her throne was Princess Celestia. The effects of the curse had most certainly made her utterly repulsive to look at. Of all the gruesome battles he had survived to see the aftermath, he’d never seen something as sickening as the princess’s current state.
Her once brilliant alabaster coat had been turned into an eye-gouging bright pink.
“Dear Faust, it’s worse than I ever could have imagined,” Barrier muttered under his breath before he stepped forward. “Your highness, I believe I found somepony who will be able to bust this nut.”
By Celestia’s side, Luna had to choke back a chuckle as she descended the dais, the Krakatuk nut carried in her magical aura. “Excellent, Captain. Who is the stallion?”
Verdant stepped forward at the princess’s question, much to Luna’s chagrin.
“Is this cadet seriously your candidate, Barrier?” Luna harshly whispered into the obsidian stallion’s ear.
“It’s not my fault the rest of us all wore boots at some point,” Barrier quietly shot back, drawing an exasperated sigh from the midnight-blue alicorn. “Hundred bits says he does it.” The stallion glanced at the cadet in question. “No pressure.”
“Very well,” Luna said before the aura around her horn grew brighter, forcing Verdant’s mouth open before she shoved the nut inside and slammed his jaws closed with a loud, wince-inducing crunch.
Verdant, apparently no worse for wear, spat into his hoof. Luna’s magic was quick to pull the nuts from the crushed bits of hard shell.
“Excellent!” Luna beamed with delight before she pried open the pink princess’ mouth and tossed the nuts inside with the strength of a professional ball player.
Celestia swallowed and let out a series of hard coughs. “Not so hard, Luna!” she said harshly before her entire body began to brightly shine with a glaring intensity.
After a few seconds, the bright light coming from the princess died down, revealing her coat had been restored to its former glory.
“Oh, thank you, Cad—” Before Celestia could finish giving her thanks, an explosion of dark purple smoke burst forth from the center of the opulent throne room.
Once the smoke had started to dissipate, Barrier could see a small figure standing within the fog that was glaring at Verdant with murderous intent.
The being in the smoke appeared to be a mouse in rather fanciful clothing. It was a black dress with dark purple accents that reminded him of some of the gowns he’d seen noblemares wearing at the Grand Galloping Gala. Upon the mouse’s head was a tiny golden crown.
“Madam Mouserinks, I assume,” Barrier stated as he and the cadets quickly fell into defensive positions.
“You’re correct, you oafish guard!” she angrily exclaimed in her squeaky voice, her eyes fixed upon Verdant. It was then Barrier saw a violet glow coming from her right paw. “However, you’re not the one I’m after now!”
Before Barrier could raise a shield in front of Verdant, a stream of violet light struck Verdant in the chest, sending him hurtling into the wall as the light consumed him.
The glowing form of Verdant started to contort and shrink until what was once Verdant slumped onto the ground. The light soon died and where Verdant once stood was now a wooden nutcracker with his visage.
“Madam Mouserinks, you’ve gone too far!” Celestia shouted as she rose from the throne. “I could tolerate your assault on me, but harming one of my li-WHOA!”
The towering princess tripped as she trotted down the dais, sending her tumbling down towards the mouse queen. The tiny rodent tried to flee, but she was unable to avoid the flailing alicorn’s form, finding herself being buried under the alicorn’s rump with a sickening crunch.
“Um...” Celestia blushed rather profusely as her horn glowed with her golden aura, bringing the transfigured soldier in front of her face. “So… anypony know how to change him back?”
***
Barrier groaned as he rose from his bed. Looking about, he could see it was still rather dark outside.
He sighed before rubbing the bridge of his snout with a forehoof. “Note to self, don’t eat gingerbread cookies before bed, no matter how many puppy-dog eyes Windy gives you. It’ll just end in weird dreams.”
Before he could lay back down in his bed, he heard a thunderous boom coming from the nearby kitchen. Scrambling to his hooves, he bolted to the room to find the source of the explosion.
He was somewhat surprised by the sight that awaited him. He found Verdant with an annoyed look upon his face, covered in knotted rope and wearing a red jacket with a fuzzy white trim. Sitting at the table across from the shamrock stallion was Pinkie Pie, merrily munching on a few gingerbread cookies. Lastly, on top of the table was Pinkie’s party cannon with a bit of smoke billowing from the barrel.
“Verdant, care to give an explanation?” Barrier asked as his words momentarily drew Pinkie’s attention away from the cookies. She gave him a cheerful and excited wave before returning to the cookies. “Maybe as to why you’re up at this hour in such a suit? No need to try and explain Pinkie and her knot cannon.”
The emerald-coated earth pony signed as he laid his chin on the table. “Long story short, I beat up a group of reindeer I thought were intruders. After going on a mystic adventure to make up for what I did, they gave me a set of boxing gloves, a mouth guard and a card that says, ‘Happy Hearth’s Warming, you pinhead. Round Two is next year’.”
Barrier gave a sigh as he pulled out his flask and offered it to the shamrock stallion. “Happy Hearth’s Warming.”
“And Faust bless us, everyone!” Pinkie happily said before giving a wink to some unseen viewer.