//------------------------------// // Chapter 13- Cozy Glow, Redeemed // Story: The Once and the Future Princess // by Silvermyr //------------------------------// Twilight sat outside Cozy's door, staring at the handle. She wanted to open the door, rush in and just… hug Cozy. She was a panicked filly lashing out at everything she held dear just from fear and paranoia. Clearly Cozy's dislike for her niece went far deeper and was far more important to her than Twilight had ever realized.  Some teacher she was! She was supposed to teach Cozy Glow about the values of friendship, laughter, loyalty, generosity, honesty and kindness! She had not done any of it. In fact, the Cozy she had seen inside the library before had not looked like her student.  It was another Cozy, one Twilight had thought was gone. The power-hungry, twisted filly who had almost conquered Equestria twice.  Cozy had not become a better pony under Twilight's care. All she had done for Cozy had, yet again, ended in misery for the poor little filly Twilight had sworn to help. Bitter tears burnt in her eyes.  She had promised Cozy to make things right! She had promised to help her, guide her and make her happy! Why could she never succeed with Cozy Glow?! Why had this happened again?! HOW COULD SHE LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN?! Should she not have made Cozy her student after all?  The question hit the inside of her head like a hammer. Had all of this been a mistake? One could argue she had not given Cozy much of a realistic choice… Did Cozy even want to be her student? Twilight stared at the door. The silence around her did not answer her sudden questions.  Maybe Cozy was just unhappy here with her? Why wouldn't she be, after all Twilight had done to her? Should she… let Cozy Glow go as her student? Just let Cozy go out to find her own fame and fortune somewhere else, with somepony who did not unwittingly torture her with every attempt to make things better? The thought made Twilight's heart clench in her chest. This was just too much, too big for one little pony, Princess or no.   "I want… my friends," she whispered. "I don't know… I can't do this alone…" If she did let Cozy Glow go… she could never take on another student after Flurry's tutelage was complete. She knew now that she could not handle that responsibility. It was not right that she took the risk of putting another pony through the distress she had led Cozy to. Never again.  But she wanted to. She wanted to be to other ponies what Celestia had been to her! A beacon of hope and inspiration. A pony who brought out the best in the colts and fillies under her wings. She wanted to do all things good. She had tried to do it with Cozy too! She had tried to mediate between Flurry and Cozy without favoring either of them! She really had done her best.  But she was not Celestia. She was just a pale imitation. Her best was not good enough. This was far beyond the reach of her understanding and abilities.  A tiny clatter sounded behind her. She looked listlessly over her shoulder. "Who-ho!" Owlowiscious said, tilting his head slightly. "Who?" The Owl wobbled forward and put a wing on Twilight's hoof, just like Flurry Heart had done earlier.  She smiled, though remnants of tears still dropped. "Thank you… you have no idea how much I needed that," she whispered. She didn't think her voice would carry if she tried to speak any louder. She held out her foreleg, and Owlowiscious obediently fluttered up. She enveloped her wings around the owl.  It was not quite like her friends' group hugs, but it did lift her heart, just a little bit.  "Not yet… I'm not allowed to give up yet. I owe it to Cozy to try again… and again. At least until she asks to leave."  "Whoooo…" the owl replied. He sounded thoughtful.  "After all I did… I can't give up on her. Or I'd never forgive myself." Owlowiscious leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. Twilight decided to take it as a vote of confidence.  She carefully sat her feathered friend down and rose to her hooves. She faced the door handle again, but this time there was a resolute look on her face. She had to do this.  She was going to face her student, and she was going to fix whatever was eating away at Cozy Glow, once and for all. And she was not going to leave until she had done it, or until Cozy said with clarity that she did not want to be Twilight's student anymore. She pressed the handle down.  The sight beyond the door made her quail. Cozy sat by her workbench, shaking with sobs and, more disturbingly, tiny fits of laughter. She had a manic, static grin on her face and tears welled down her eyes. Her eyes were open wide, unblinking and glassy and remained completely still on a tiny little feather in front of her.  She had expected fury. She had expected Cozy to scream and shout and cry, but this was somehow worse. This was not even an emotion at all, it was just… wrong. All of it was wrong. It was so strange and disturbing it rendered Twilight momentarily stunned halfway through the door before she got a hold of her own mind again. "C-Cozy! Cozy, what's wrong?!" Cozy jolted from her stupor and grabbed the quill in her mouth. "Stay away from me!" She shrieked in wild panic, brandishing the quill like some outlandish sort of weapon.  Twilight froze mid step. Cozy's pupils had shrunk to pinpricks and there was a twisted type of glee in her smile. "You're not getting rid of me so easily this time! It's me or Flurry! Make your choice! And I promise I'll make you regret it if you pick her over me!" This was not her student. This was the old Cozy Glow. The pony she had locked inside Tartarus. The pony Twilight had failed like no other.  This was a chance to finally do right, even to Cozy's darkest, most destructive side. "Cozy, I am not going to get rid of you," she said slowly, clearly. She did not know what that quill Cozy held was, but the way Cozy held it seemed to indicate it was not just a harmless trinket. "You are my student. My very first star student. And I swear on Celestia's name that I mean it when I say it. I promise, this is what I really think about you." "LIES!" Cozy screamed. "You were planning to use me from the start! Just so Flurry could have a friend!" "Never, Cozy. Never," Twilight kept her voice soft and soothing. She had to calm Cozy down from her fury.  "I value you, Flurry and the very concept of friendship far too much to ever do something like that." Cozy let out a barking laugh. Had Pinkie Pie heard it, she would have clutched her ears in pain, for this laughter signified only madness, born from ashen despair. Twilight too winced at the sound.  This wasn't working.  Cozy would never believe her without proof. And there was only one proof she could give.  To give up Flurry as her student.  But how could she? She had promised Flurry to teach her just as much as she had promised Cozy. And how could she face her brother and Cadance after doing something like that? How could they ever understand that Twilight had chosen Cozy Glow, the dangerous, insane criminal over their own sweet little daughter? They couldn't.  And while the friendship they shared with Twilight was too strong to break over such a thing, it would still drive a wedge between them that would never truly go away. How could Twilight choose Cozy Glow over her own family? A tiny thought came to her. "Because you promised Cozy Glow you would help her, any way you could." And as wrong and as painful as it was, there was only one thing that could help Cozy now. "Cozy, will you give me a week to make some arrangements and then… I will find another teacher for Flurry, if you want." Cozy's maniacal stare disappeared. She fell back on her haunches. Lucidity returned to her face. Lucidity and dread. She started to shiver. Twilight did not wait anymore. She couldn't. She did the only thing her instincts had been screaming at her to do from the moment she went in. She galloped over to Cozy as fast as she could and scooped her up in her hooves. She was small, even for a filly her age. She felt so very vulnerable, held against Twilight's chest. So soft and warm, her mane smelled like roses. She was still shaking. Twilight felt her coat become wet under her tears.  "Cozy, what's happened? Please, you've got to tell me! I will help you Cozy. Please, Please believe that! Please believe I want to help!" Cozy wasn't hugging her back. "T-Twilight… I think there is… something wrong inside my head," she said in the tiniest, most fearful of voices. "I'm not… What if I can't be a good pony? I don't want to make you sad, but I just can't… think, when Flurry is near me. She is… making me go back to a pony I don't want to be." "That's not possible, Cozy," Twilight said. "We both know you can be a good pony. You have made friends, all on your own. Sweetie Belle, Rumble and me. We all know you can be a good pony. Like I said before, you are doing great at your friendship lessons. Believe in yourself, Cozy, and believe that your friends really want to help you." Cozy shook her head. "You don't get it. I wanted… I wanted to hurt her! I wanted to jump at her and just beat her up! Normal ponies don't think such things!" Twilight frowned. Something like that went far, far beyond normal friendship problems. Wishing harm upon someone was reserved only for well and truly hated enemies, and even then it was only to be done in defense of herself and others. Twilight herself had only ever done it to threats like Tirek, Chrysalis and Sombra. Was that how Cozy saw Flurry? As a mortal enemy and threat to her very life? How could Cozy think that? But pointing this out would not make Cozy feel any better. "No… that's not a good thing to want, Cozy," Twilight admitted. "But this is not the first time you have felt this, is it? When you sat in Tartarus… and when Sweetie Belle first convinced me to let you out, you wanted to hurt me then, didn't you?" After a moment of hesitation, Cozy nodded. "And did you ever think that was wrong? Did you ever start crying in shame because you wanted to hurt me?" "No," Cozy admitted quietly.  "And that's why I still think you are a good pony. You wanted to hurt somepony… but you didn't. Because deep down you knew it was wrong. That's the most important part. You are my student to learn about friendship. I knew there would be things you wanted that were wrong. I took you in to help you, Cozy, not because you were already perfect. And by controlling yourself even when you wanted to give in to the darkest parts of yourself, you have proven that I am helping you. The old Cozy wouldn't have cared. But my star student began crying for something she didn't even do." Cozy was silent. She didn't look up. She just sat with her head burrowed into Twilight's chest, but her breathing was a little calmer. "Why would anypony want to help me?" she whispered. "Nopony… nopony has ever wanted me. Not even my parents. And nopony wanted to adopt me either, even if I was cute and lovable." For a moment, Twilight fell silent. Was that why she became who she was? Was this why she had wanted friends so much? Was she so starved for love and connection with somepony that she had resorted to manipulation and lies to feel like she had friends?  And Twilight was likely the first pony Cozy ever revealed this to. The only pony she trusted enough to show what must be some of her deepest fears. The idea made Twilight's heart quail in sympathy. She quietly folded her wings over Cozy. A small gesture of warmth and affection for a filly who, Twilight now realized, had grown up with a deep-seated idea that she was not wanted.  "I may still be inexperienced as a mentor, Cozy, but anypony could see the potential you have. You have a very special gift. One I consider myself lucky to help you develop…" Twilight sighed. "But… that's not why I wanted to help you. Not anymore. It was at the beginning, but it's not the reason anymore." "Then what is?" Cozy finally looked up. "Because… knowing that you trust me, even just a little, it makes me so very happy." Twilight felt her own eyes become misty. "When you just talk a little to me, or when you just listen to me talking… you don't understand how much it means to me. To every day see a filly who wants to learn, to grow, to be better. I know, perhaps better than any other pony, how far you have come. Just to see you smile, or just to see you play with your own friends… it makes me feel so proud, like I have finally, finally done some things right with you." She gently brushed through Cozy's mane with a hoof.  "You are my student, Cozy Glow… and I am proud to call you that. And I can promise that wherever you go, you will always be wanted here." Cozy squeezed her eyes shut and then, at last, put her forelegs around Twilight and hugged her. She was shaking with silent sobs, but Twilight liked to think they were not only of sorrow. Flurry Heart explained her idea on the way to the closest spire roof. The two of them tapped down. Rumble knew it was rude to stand on roofs, but this was too important to wait. "What? No, you're wrong. That doesn't make sense, not one bit!" Rumble said, shaking his head. "She does not… like me like that!" "Yes, she does!" Flurry insisted. "Think about it! She was looking back at you in there, and you said it yourself that you think she is worried about me stealing your friendship! But what if it wasn't just friendship she was worried about, but something way bigger!" "Hah! What? You think she thought you'd try to make me like you or something?!" He snorted in laughter, right before he realized what he was saying and that he was, in fact, talking to a deity. That thought shut him up good. "Uh… I mean… You know Cozy is still… Cozy, right? Like… she isn't really a lovey-dovey sort of filly. Actually, I can't even imagine her doing that sappy sort of stuff. At all." "Well, I have seen mommy help ponies with love stuff before, and she says that when you like somepony, you don't always let them know that." "Yeah, I know,” Rumble scoffed. He knew how crushes worked; that wasn't the issue here. The issue was that Cozy was brash, tenacious, and probably mildly psychotic. She did not care about mushy stuff. Imagining Cozy in love was about as easy as imagining his own brother becoming an alicorn. "I'm not saying she doesn't keep secrets; I'm saying this is not the secret she keeps!" "But what about the stuff I felt in her then? A good feeling than I haven't ever felt! Something that was a little similar to what I feel around my parents! Well, my parents love each other, and I don't think I've ever had a crush before! That part fits! And love isn't that different from friendship either! You can't love somepony you aren't friends with, right?" Rumble considered. Those points did have some merits, actually… and it wasn't like he could argue against something only Flurry could really ever determine. She was the one who could sense these feelings and draw conclusions from them, not him. He was basically just along for the ride. "I still don't think you're right," he said.  "I do… but that leaves us with another problem," Flurry said and flicked her ears downwards.  "What?" "Well… if Cozy likes you, then… what do you think about that? Do you like her back?" If there ever was a question to render him completely gobsmacked… how was he supposed to know? She was his friend! Sure, he liked hanging out with her… she was fun to be around.  But loving somepony meant… going on dates. Holding hooves. Lunches. Long talks. Sitting on benches together! Marriage, foals, getting a house and living together forever! He felt sweat beginning to pour down his forehead. How was he supposed to make a commitment like that? He did not even have his cutie mark yet; he could not be making life choices right now?! Why was he even thinking about this? Cozy Glow could not be in love with him! It didn't make sense! Not one bit! "She doesn't-" "But do you?!" Flurry asked, raising her wings a little. The display of her alicorn splendor, even from such a little pony, was enough to silence his protest. Did he love Cozy? By instinct, "love" was not how he would describe what he felt with her. She was a friend, not a love interest. But then again, she was a cute pony and he enjoyed being with her. And he had never even entertained the idea of Cozy loving anypony, let alone him. He had never thought about her as a potential mare-friend and never analyzed her from that perspective. Hypothetically however… if he had to imagine himself with a marefriend… well, Cozy was basically the only filly he had any deeper contact with aside from Flurry, and so much as thinking about dating her was probably heresy.  So by that logic, if he had to imagine himself with a marefriend… then Cozy was, paradoxically, his first choice. Weird. Did he love her? No.  Could he learn to love her, if they were together? Well, going from enemies to friends was a bigger step than going from friends to special someponies, wasn't it? "I don't love her, right now," Rumble said. "But… maybe I could. You know… if she wanted to try." "Great!" Flurry chirped. "Okay. Then all we need to do is get up to her room, and then you have to ask her if she wants to be your special somepony!" "What? Now?" Rumble asked, flummoxed. This… was not how he had imagined he'd ask his first maybe-fillyfriend. He had imagined… well, the standard fare. Inviting her to dinner, talk, laugh, let the time pass until the sun was coloring the sky just so. Then he'd pop the question, and then they'd probably kiss. That's how it was supposed to work, right? That's what his brother said.  None of that included him and his maybe-fillyfriend having a shouting match just twenty or so minutes before he asked her, right out of the blue.  Also, there was still the problem that Cozy was not in love with him. In fact, given said shouting match, she was most likely going to beat him up if he even came near her right now, let alone asked if she wanted to be his special somepony. He'd sooner guess that asking right now would just make her even angrier.   But, Flurry Heart was the daughter of Cadance, the Princess of Love. It stood to reason that her idea on this matter should not be completely written off, asinine as it sounded.  "Yes now! Cozy needs our help right now!" Flurry said. "Come on!" She spread her wings and hopped down from the roof. Rumble followed.  "This will never work, you know! She's just going to be even angrier at us if she thinks we are playing with her feelings!" Rumble nearly shouted after Flurry, who was diving fast towards the ground.  "Yes it will! I know what I sensed in her. This is it!" She landed and broke into a fast trot inside the castle. Rumble's protests evaporated. How could he argue against the divine powers of an alicorn? Him, a common pegasus colt. "I really hope you know what you are doing," he said instead.  "Don't worry, I'm sure this will work out just great!" That's when it began to sink in.  He was going to ask a filly out for the first time in his life.  And it was Cozy Glow he was going to ask. The one who had tried to conquer the world twice, and nearly succeeded, twice.  And he was going to ask her on the advice of Flurry Heart herself.  Speaking of which… how do you ask a filly to be your fillyfriend?  Did you just ask? Shouldn't he have a gift or something? A serenade? A firework show…  Twilight's head on a plate? "Okay, here we are." Rumble swallowed. No door had ever looked that intimidating. "Just go on in and… ask her if she wants to be your special somepony," Flurry said. It was probably meant to be soothing, but Rumble just felt even more like he was about to ruin his relationship with Cozy all the more. This… didn't feel right. But Flurry was an alicorn, and his friend. She wanted to resolve this mess with Cozy more than anypony.  He just had to trust her now.  Rumble opened the door and silently went in. He heard Flurry follow behind him. Still present, but as nonintrusive as she could make herself.  Cozy was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Twilight sat with her back to the door, wings unfurled and wrapped around herself. Her head was lowered and he could faintly hear her whispering something to somepony. But there was nopony else here. What was she doing? The mood in the room was… heavy. The very air seemed abnormally thick and pressing, almost like a physical weight on his back. "Princess? I wanted to say some things to Cozy…" he said quietly. Something about the mood in the room made him lower his voice. "Cozy?" Twilight's voice was mild and soft, like she was speaking to an especially shy animal. "See? Your friend is here. It's fine, okay?" Rumble nearly fell backwards in shock when Twilight got up on her hooves and went around the small, ruffled form of Cozy Glow. Had Twilight been hugging her? Did Cozy allow that? Apparently.  Cozy Glow looked disheveled. Her wings were half lifted and quivering. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying, though right now she looked much more guarded than sad.  In her mouth she held a very familiar feather, now outfitted with the same tiny mechanism Rumble had seen in her self-writing quill. However, by the way she brandished it and by look in her eyes, it was a sooner a weapon than anything else. Despite just being a feather, Rumble felt shivers run down her spine from seeing it. He did not know what it could do, but given who made it and the mood she was in, he was certain it could do something and that he did not want to be on the receiving end of it.  It was a minuscule consolation that she did not seem to direct her hateful glare at him, but rather at somepony behind him.  Rumble swallowed again.  "Hi, Cozy," he said carefully.  She did not answer. She just redirected her death-glare to him.  "Uh… I talked a little to Flurry Heart-" It was a mistake to say her name. He knew it the moment the words left his lips.  "Get… out…!" Cozy spat, nearly choking with rage. The quill fell from her mouth when she talked and dropped to the floor. It landed upright, quivering as in anticipation. Rumble's attention switched back to Cozy's angry face, and then he noticed a purple wing gently resting on Cozy's back. Surprisingly, the filly didn't bat the wing away, as he would expect. Briefly he looked up at Twilight's face, and now he also noticed her cheeks and eyes were wet from tears. There was no alternative. Now it was all or nothing. He marshalled his courage and stuffed his worries into the nearest closet inside his mind. Then he stuttered out his question, looking into Cozy's glittering eyes. "Cozy, do you… do you w-want to be my very... very special somepony?" He had to force himself to remain on his hooves rather than cowering when he said it.  The air in the room itself seemed to hold its breath. Twilight looked at him like he had just grown several extra heads. She opened her mouth in silent shock. Clearly this sounded just as sudden to her as it did to him. His heart was racing in his chest. His legs felt weak.  And Cozy… well, she looked at him as if seeing him for the first time in her life.  The quill in front of her was vibrating, like it was trying to decide what it was supposed to do.  Then after several seconds, each one that felt like an eternity, it fell over.  "Oh g-golly…" Cozy wheezed. Her entire being seemed to crumble in front of them, and she broke down, crying.  "Cozy!" Everypony in the room shouted and converged on the distressed filly. Twilight reached her first and scooped her up in her hooves. She looked dazed, staring without seeing. Twilight fixed him with a most peeved glare. She, like Rumble, evidently did not think this was the right time. "Hey, I get it if you don't wanna be my special somepony," Rumble hurried to clarify. Even though he had never really believed in this idea, he had still hoped his first confession had gone a little better than this. "It's cool, Cozy. We'll just stick to being friends." "No…" Cozy said with a thick voice. "No… I really, really w-want to. But you can't like me! I'm not… I'm n-not a good pony! I'm bad! I'll just end up hurting you too!" Rumble felt his heart take a leap in his chest. This stupid Idea… might actually work! Flurry had been right!  He was… going to have a very special somepony. A silly grin spread over his face.   "Really?" Rumble tilted his head. "'Cause that doesn't sound like something a bad pony would say. Trying to protect a pony you like, even if it makes you unhappy. Besides,  I've stuck by you this far, right? I think I can handle your episodes at this point." "You really like him," Flurry said carefully. "I know you do. I have seen it." "Oh..." Twilight gasped. Her eyes flicked over to Rumble, then to Flurry and finally they came to rest at Cozy again. One could almost hear how the realization clicked in her head. "It wasn't friendship… It was love… all this time, it wasn't his friendship you worried about losing… it was..." She bent down to nuzzle Cozy. "I should have understood it sooner. I could have prevented all of this..." Cozy shook her head. She held her eyes clenched hard, but tears still found a way to leak through. "No… I should have been honest from the start. Just said what I felt. Instead I took it out on all of you… e-even the pony I liked." Cozy hiccupped a few times… the look she gave Rumble was nothing short of pleading. "Uh… It's… cool. Really, Cozy, we're cool," he said, awkwardly.  "We're all here for you, Cozy," Twilight said. "And we don't see a bad pony when we look at you. We see a filly who is really trying to be her best. She just needs a little help sometimes. We see a wonderful filly we all want more of in our lives." "Me too!" Flurry pitched in.  Cozy looked up Flurry from Twilight's hug. Aside from her puffy, bloodshot eyes, she seemed to have regained a tiny bit of composure. "Was it you who…?" she asked, quietly.  "Yeah…" Rumble answered for her. "Flurry was the one who told me you wanted to be my special somepony. I… sorta didn't believe her, at first." Cozy grimaced as if in pain. "Golly… after all the bad stuff I did…?" Flurry walked up closer. "But it wasn't really you, was it? It was because you were afraid to lose a colt you really liked?" "No, I was… j-jealous, too," Cozy admitted. She looked down in shame. "Since… I wanted to be an alicorn too. I did so many bad things, ruined so much and… and then you just got it by being born… I'm…I'm… sorry." The last word was barely more than a whisper, but Rumble could still catch it. He saw Twilight did too, by the way her expression softened and how she squeezed the filly just a little closer to her chest. Maybe Flurry did not realize how important the apology was, but Twilight and Rumble both knew how hard apologies were for Cozy. Flurry asked. "If you want, we could start over, again." "Would you?" Cozy looked genuinely stunned. "Would you still want to be my friend? After all I did?" Flurry nodded energetically. "Yes!" She held out her hoof. Cozy looked around to Twilight and Rumble, almost like she wanted to ask permission.  "Go ahead, Cozy," Twilight said, giving her a little nudge. "I know you will be great friends. I have always known that." "Uh… yeah, what she said," Rumble added.  That sounded way better in his head. Good going Rumble, you grade-A dolt… Cozy smiled at him. A warm, open smile, even if her cheeks were still matted with tears.  He had never seen her smile like that before, but he rather liked seeing it. Finally, Cozy reached out a shaking hoof and bumped it against Flurry's. A flash of light sparked to life from where their hooves connected. The light shot up Flurry's hoof and seemed to flow over her body. Flurry Heart lifted into the air. She began to shine stark white. Rumble, had to avert his eyes from the radiance.  A surge of magic detonated around the filly and washed over Rumble like a tidal wave of power.  Even before he knew what had happened, some primal instinct made him fall to his knees in reverence.