//------------------------------// // XXXVII - Unspeakable Evil // Story: The Distant Princess // by GMBlackjack //------------------------------// Aku should not exist. When his essence approached Earth, the gods of old deemed it too corrupt. In that time, they still had power, they still had might. They would have been able to shape reality with a thought. Who knows, Orgalorg may even have been among the number to meet with Aku’s primordial essence. They were sure they had utterly destroyed him. If only they’d done a better job, the history of Earth might be different. Aku sat as a useless pile of sludge unable to take form until the millennium just prior to the Mushroom War, when a human attempted to purge the sludge from his land. Inadvertently, this was precisely what Aku needed to gain full consciousness and awareness. By that point, the gods were weakened, and could do nothing directly against such a pure spirit of darkness. They did act—creating the legendary sword that would one day be wielded by Samurai Jack. That sword is one of the few things that can hurt the being of darkness. In the prior eras, Aku took a background role, trying to control the Earth and beyond from the shadows, since magic was weak in that day. The Mushroom War destroyed everything he built. Now… he tries the direct approach. His Southern Dominion occupies the most land of any single nation-state on the surface of Earth, and it grows every day. Even with Jack acting as a constant thorn in his side, the expansion only slows. It never, ever ceases. ~~~ “Run,” Jack said to everyone, keeping his eyes locked on Aku. “He only wants me.” “No!” Finn shouted, stepping in front of Jack with the Finn sword. “I don’t care how big and scary and evil this guy is, we’re not running away.” “Yeah! We’re with ya, Jack!” Rainbow landed next to Finn. “Right, everyone?” There was a chorus of “right!” from the group… except two. Bonnibel and Twilight hadn’t said anything. They were staring at Aku, trembling, each with a different sort of fear. Bonnibel’s fear was one of recognition and dread of the inevitable, while Twilight’s was one of panicked racing, scrambling for something, anything in her memories that might be of use here. She was frozen in herself. “Twilight…?” Rainbow asked, concerned. “They know who I am…” Aku said, cackling. “It’s been a while, Bubblegum. And it’s such a pleasure to meet Celestia’s newest pawn. Really. A pleasure.” He shifted his body into the shape of a snake, his head larger than all of them combined. As he spoke, his breath rippled through their hair. The wafting ripples of air smelled like nothing, banishing all other odors in the air with eerie suddenness. “What did she tell you about me?” Twilight’s lips fumbled over the letters, attempting to form cohesive sounds and utterly failing. “It must have been such a shock to see the perfect Princess of the Sun speak out of fear…” Aku laughed. “Tell me, what was her contingency plan for me? The Shogun of Sorrow, the Deliverer of Darkness, the Unspeakable Evil… Aku.” Twilight slowly shook her head, shrinking back. “Twilight, get a hold of yourself!” Rainbow called. “Who cares what you heard? We can beat this guy! W-” Aku flicked Rainbow to the side with a single nail. She hit the city walls like a bug. “Annoying. But not as annoying as you, Samurai Jack.” he transformed into a large ring, surrounding most of them in his body, manifesting his face closest to Jack’s location. “But you lack your precious, precious blade.” Jack glanced around, seeing no exit for anyone. “If I come with you, will you spare them?” “Deal!” “No deal!” Bonnibel shouted. “Sweetie,” Aku cooed, sending shivers up Bonnibel’s spine. “That’s not your choice to make.” “I’ve known you for longer than he has,” Bonnibel spat. “I know you’ll destroy us all anyway. Your word is only useful so long as you benefit from it. Jack, do not surrender.” “But you know to fight is pointless,” Aku returned to his default, towering form, looking at the group of heroes with disdain. “Utterly and completely. There is nothing. I don’t end all my enemies, Bubblegum. I make some of them into slaves! You’d make an excellent trophy. The First Princess. The Mother of modern civilization. And so much more, that even you don’t know!” He turned to the sky, throwing his arms wide. “She’s such a fool, isn’t she?” “And so are you.” Aku turned to his side, squinting to see the little blue speck in his vision that was Lapis Lazuli. “A Gem…? Rare, powerful, but not even the Diamonds could threaten m—” She shoved both of her arms forward. A sticky, sappy mass of liquid shot from behind her, taking the force of a fist and clobbering Aku in the face. The sugary substance knocked him back into two gumball guardians, who took the opportunity to fire their lasers at his back, boring a hole in his tarry flesh. Aku’s frown would have been comical if it didn’t come with a pair of dark fists shooting out of his back and incapacitating the gumball guardians with ease. The sugary fluid dripped over most of his form, some getting in his mouth. He clicked his tongue. “Did… did you just punch me with a lake of butterscotch?” Lapis winked at him. “Yeah. It was what I had to work with. And now it’s stuck to you, so…” She pushed her hands to the side, grabbing hold of the butterscotch water stuck to his arms. To his shock, his arms moved with hers. Before he could react, she made Aku punch himself. Unlike the guardians’ lasers, which had done almost nothing, this prompted a cry of pain from Aku’s gnashing maw. Lapis pulled back again, smirking. “Not so hot now are y—” Aku shrunk to a sphere about the size of a basketball, moved a few yards to the left, and returned to his normal form. The butterscotch fell to the ground in a wave, no longer affixed to a being of darkness. Aku smirked and shrugged. “I feel fine. Did you think something was the matter?” Lapis lifted the butterscotch up again. “Oh this is gonna be a long night, I can t—” He stabbed her. She didn’t even see it coming. One moment he was shrugging as if making a joke, the next his finger had pierced her stomach. Her hardlight body sparked and popped, sections of it shifting in blocks to the side as if it were glitching. With a soft gurgle, she poofed into white dust, leaving only her gemstone behind. Like a raindrop, it fell to the ground. Finn was the closest. He got to her first, picking the teardrop up. It was still warm in his hand. “...She’s still in here,” he said. “Yes, yes, yes,” Aku rolled his eyes. “Take solace in the Gem’s ability to retreat. The rest of you will not be so lucky. Who should I start with?” “Me,” Jack demanded. Aku threw his head back and sang his laughter to the heavens. “You? You? Foolish samurai… you will be last.” He leaned in. “You will watch the rest of your oh-so-loyal friends suffer before I give you what you deserve.” He tapped Jack’s blade with his finger, lowering it so he could get even more in Jack’s face. “You really think you would have learned to travel alone by now. But then again, you lost the most precious artifact in the world, so maybe you are more of a fool than I have thought.” “I—Finn, no!” Finn didn’t listen to Jack. He rammed the Finn sword right into Aku’s eye, yelling with the strength of two. He twisted, and the legendary edge cut right through Aku and into the darkness behind. Aku’s response was immediate. He transformed into a flying reptile, getting far from Finn’s reach. “A new sword…” “Yeah! Come and get it!” Finn shouted, holding the sword high. “I can take you!” “Finn…” Bonnibel cautioned. “I’ve fought the Lich, big, oily, and ugly!” “So have I.” Aku transformed back into his towering height, keeping his face far from Finn’s blade. “Your continued life tells me it was no fight.” Finn charged, driving the Finn sword into Aku’s base. It cut through his darkness, yes, but it didn’t do much. Only a small burn began to crawl up Aku’s form. Aku sneered. “A legendary weapon, to be sure… but still just a toothpick.” And then Jack moved. He jumped over Finn, pulling the Finn Sword out of his hands before Aku could grab it. The samurai whirled around, chopping off Aku’s finger with the blade. The digit did not grow back. Jumping back, Jack took off to a gumball guardian. “Lift me!” “Stop whatever it is you plan, Samurai,” Aku said, grabbing hold of Finn with his uninjured hand. “The boy would find it… unpleasant if you did not.” Jack stopped moving. “Bring the sword to me,” Aku ordered. Gripping it so hard his fingers turned red, Jack walked back to Aku. He kept his head held high and his face level, but even so it was impossible to hide his stress. “The beard doesn't help the look,” Aku said, plucking the Finn Sword out of Jack’s grip. “Hey! Hands off my sword!” Finn shouted. “It truly is yours, isn’t it?” Aku lifted it to his eyes, twirling it like a screw. “It resonates with your energy. But also with something… divine. You know not the power you hold, boy. And you never will.” He drove one of his claws through the crystal in the center of the sword, shattering it. “Finn sword!” Finn shouted. “No! No!” Aku bellowed. “Did you feel that in your soul? Part of you, your other half, suffering in an imposs-OW!” Something green, grassy, and sharp had erupted from Finn’s arm, stabbing Aku’s darkness. It did no actual harm to him, but it was still shocking. In fury, Aku threw Finn over the city walls, all the way into the palace. “Stupid boy…” “Finn!” Jake shouted. He stretched himself to be the size of Aku. “That’s enough! Nobody hurts my br—” Aku transformed into a dog-shape, almost exactly like Jake’s normal form, but pitch black. Jake stepped on him. Aku shifted back to his full size and threw Jake into several gumball guardians. “Come back when you’ve really learned to use your powers well, dog.” He dusted his hands off, smiling to himself. “Now, any other last-minute plans? Backups? Gambits? Or are you finally out of hope?” He noticed Twilight talking to Starlight in hushed tones. “Do you have some secrets?” Aku leaned down to the two of them, glaring. “What magic do you think could defeat me?” “Not mine,” Starlight said, lighting her horn to cast a spell she had just learned from Twilight. “Someone else’s. Someone more…” Starlight smirked. “Chaotic.” Aku’s smile vanished. Suddenly, he moved with vicious skill, zapping Starlight right in the horn with a burst of dark energy. Before she could attempt any sort of rekindling of her magic, he encased her in black sludge, tossing her to the side. “The Lord of Chaos has no place here.” Twilight, despite having a recently overloaded horn and being near exhaustion, lit her horn as well. Her eyes went white. On the castle wall, Rainbow's eyes matched her own. The Harmony magic reached for more suitable focus points… and it found one. Bonnibel’s own eyes shone a brilliant white. A rainbow of purple, pink, and red came from the three of them, hitting Aku dead on. It burned him. Yes, it burned him. There is no evil that can fully withstand the direct application of Harmony. But he shrugged it off with a stomp of his foot. Twilight gave out, flopping onto the ground without another word. Phoebe charged out of nowhere, but Aku caught her in his hand, throwing the flaming princess to the ground. “Pathetic. All your friends, pathetic!” Aku roared with laughter. “Do you see, samurai? Your friends are nothing!” “Then perhaps… an enemy,” Jack said. “What are you doing outside my city!?” Lord Hater shouted, charging out of the gates. He was covered in confetti, frosting, and party decorations, but the crackling electric energies that surged around him were more than enough to make up for that. “This is my planet! This is my empire! This i—” Aku encased him in an orb of darkness with no fanfare whatsoever. “This is my planet, monkey. You. Are. An. Ant.” “Hater! Sir!” Peepers wailed, running to the darkness. “No, no no no no no!” “CHAAARGE!” Lemongrab shouted, his lemon army finally crossing the final hill. Aku, getting bored with this, just created a wall of darkness to stop them. “Ugh, you have so many little friends and things here. But even with those first few surprises, nothing. This is the end, samurai.” Jack gripped his sword. He knew it was pointless. Such a blade could not harm Aku. But he would go down fighting.