Mud Briar had to sigh and steady himself as he led his children to a part of the homestead they hadn’t seen much up until this point. It was a little section that was almost like a cave within itself, and it had only two structures to decorate the otherwise barren landscape, both of which were made from stone: A small sink with faucets also made of stone, and a throne model toilet with a pull chain attached to its stone tank.
Sediment and Pediment eyed each other and then looked to their dad. “So, why have you brought us here, father?” They both asked at the same time, speaking in the same monotone voice that made it hard to tell them apart.
Mud Briar looked at the grayish-purple coated filly and the purplish-gray coated colt. Keeping a firm yet neutral expression on his face and stroking his mountain beard, he explained to the twins. “Your mother believes it is time for you both to start potty training. She has grown tired of changing your diapers, and I will admit that is a point I find myself in agreement with. You are both over two years old now, you are at the age where most ponies undergo this training.”
“Okay, so why are you here?” Sediment questioned. “You could just tell us what to do and we could try to do it on our own.”
Mud Briar shook his head. “Your mother believed it would be best if you were shown, so that way you’d get the right idea. As she is currently away it falls to me to provide that demonstration,” Then he cleared his throat. “Now, how the training works is quite simple. When you think you have to go you simply come here to this location, the bathroom. Should you require help inform either your mother or I and we shall help you to the best of our ability. You pull down your diapers to your knees, sit down on the seat and let nature do the rest. Afterwards, simply wipe up with some toilet paper, and then pull the chain to flush. Be sure to look before doing that so nothing besides your waste and toilet paper goes down the drain.”
Pediment blinked. “That sounds like a lot of steps for something so simple.”
Mud wanted to nod in agreement, but convinced he needed to be strong he did not do so. “In time it’ll become like second nature to you both. And you needn’t worry about getting it right the first time or even the second time. I know I didn’t master it fully in my first attempts. More often than not I hardly ever made it, and back when I trained not everypony used a throne toilet or even a toilet in general. Someponies used outhouses or chamber pots, though such ponies were always a minority.”
“Do you think they made chamber pots out of stones?” Pediment pondered.
Sediment protested. “I can’t imagine a pot of stones being ideal for anything.”
“Well, your mother and I did think about doing your training the old fashioned way, sort of like how her parents taught her and her sisters,” Mud explained. “But we decided that ‘bottomless training’ would come later on, once we were certain you had the right idea. So, which of you would like to be first to make an attempt and take that first step towards becoming a big pony?”
The twins blinked anew. “Why only one of us?”
Mud answered. “There simply isn’t enough room on the toilet seat for you both, and it’s not likely you will both need to go at the same time. It is impossible to make a toilet that can handle multiple ponies at once.”
“But, I don’t have to go,” Sediment commented while looking across to her brother. “I think Pediment should try first.”
Pediment shook his head. “No. It should be fillies first, like Mom always says. Sediment should go first.”
Seeing his children start to argue and debate about who should go first, Mud Briar let out a long sigh. He’d been dreading this and had hoped it was an outcome that would be avoidable. He was already thinking back in his mind about what he had reluctantly agreed to do if the twins’ training proved difficult.
“You want me to be a what?” Mud Briar blinked even as his tone of voice did not change. “Maud, you know I love you and our children very much. But you can’t possibly expect me to do such a thing.”
Maud Pie smiled at her husband. “We can take turns, but the twins look up to you more because you’re around more often.”
“That’s because technically you’re both doing field work and foalsitting our nephew,” Mud pointed out. “You’re one of the few ponies who understand him and not put off by his behavior.”
Maud nodded. “He’s going to be starting potty training soon, he told me that he’s really looking forward to it,” Then her smile faded. “I don’t think the Pie family method of training will work with the twins. And I don’t know how your family did it with you.”
Mud protested. “That’s because I don’t remember my own training and neither do I wish to ask what it was like. I have little desire to ‘pretend’ to do it again, even for the sake of this ‘potty pal’ idea.”
“It’s not like you’ll have to wear a diaper or anything,” Maud declared as a grin crossed her face. “I don’t think we could find one that would fit you. All you’d really have to do is demonstrate how to use the toilet, and then let the twins try it on their own time. We certainly didn’t go through all that trouble of building our own toilet just so the twins could not use it.”
The stallion stroked his mountain beard. “Do I really have to do it? If it’s your idea then you should be the one to be their ‘potty pal’ as it were. I’d sooner sleep on the couch than take up that role.”
“Only if the twins need an example,” Maud answered with a blink. “It’d just be our little secret. Besides, you made a good foal during the parenting classes we took,” She then trotted off. “Just think about it.”
Mud Briar returned to the present as the flashback ended, and he reluctantly realized he’d probably have to do it. He was gonna have to be a “potty pal” for Sediment and Pediment. “Well, since neither of you can agree, I shall go. You can learn from how I do it.” He told the twins as he trotted over.
Sediment and Pediment watched with interest.
“Notice how I position myself so my back is to the seat. You must ensure you face that way before you sit down. Sometimes it may take a while before you have to do anything, so be prepared to sit down for a while. I don’t really, but I’m going to sit here for a bit so you’ll understand,” Sitting down on the seat he instructed. “Make sure your tail is to one side and not in the bowl. I don’t think I need to tell you why.” Sediment and Pediment nodded their heads.
After several minutes Mud Briar got up and continued to instruct. “Once you get up, you just use some toilet paper to wipe yourself clean. Then you put it all in the toilet,” He grabbed a few roles and rubbed them between his flanks as a demonstration before dropping them into the bowl. He then motioned the twins to come closer to the toilet and they did so without protesting. “And now you flush, like this.” He used a hoof to grab the chain and pull it down.
Aware of a loud roar, Sediment and Pediment look down into the bowl to see a swirling whirlpool suck the used rolls of toilet paper down a hole. Then they saw the water return with the paper nowhere in sight, it was gone.
“After you’ve done all of that you simply wash your hooves,” Mud told the two as he went to do just that before adding. “And it's important to give ponies their privacy when they are in the bathroom. If you find the door closed, knock on it before you enter. Sediment, I noticed you doing a little potty dance while I was sitting on the toilet. So I want you to try it first. Pediment, you wait for your sister to finish. Okay?”
The twins reluctantly complied. “Okay, Father.”
Mud smiled as he finished washing his hooves. “Good. Now then, I shall be waiting for you two outside. I trust you both know what to do and what not to do. If you need any help, just call for me.” In his mind he began thinking. “I sincerely hope Maud doesn’t find out about this. I really don’t need her to keep trying to pressure me into doing silly things to get the twins to learn.”