//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: Things Best Left Unknown // Story: #277 // by Unwhole Hole //------------------------------// It was night, or nearly night. Another sunset had passed—or so Celestia had thought. She was noticing inconsistencies in time. Spaces where she blacked out and hours seemed to pass. That was a frightening thing indeed, but Celestia did her best not to think about it. If it related to her sickness, it was best she ignored it until it truly became a problem. Instead, she went for a walk. Through Twilight’s extensive crystalline castle, with its seemingly hundreds of frigid, empty, vaguely luminescent rooms. All identical and all devoid of any apparent purpose. But she was looking for one in particular and, in time, found it. Celestia came to the library. It contained the remnants of Twilight’s book collection from the ruins of the Golden Oaks Library, as well as new acquisitions including a substantial number from the Starswirl Wing in Celstia’s own Canterlot Library. Which, she supposed, she still technically owned. Pausing, Celestia inspected the room. She had anticipated that Spike might be engaged with moving tomes, which she imagined was the primary task he was assigned to considering how well she knew his quasi-mother/sister. Excessive reshelving was, after all, her greatest vice. Spike, though, was not present, and Celestia carefully sauntered into the vast semicircular room. It smelled familiar, like old paper. The smell of books, and also the smell of Twilight herself, minus her natural princess musk of grape scent. Celestia scanned the books, to her surprise finding that the spines did not have titles. That was not altogether too unusual; many older, more serious books lacked such markings. Instead, Celestia followed Twilight’s shelving system—the system that she herself had invented—and found her way to the history section, or where she thought the section should have been. Her horn lit, and she took down one of the several books on a higher shelf. The cover was brick-red, bound in an indeterminate material. No title was inscribed on the front, or on the first few pages. Celestia kept turning the pages, and felt goosebumps break out over her body. The entirety of the book was blank. The pages were just pages devoid of text, pictures, or even numbers. She reached up and took down another. This one was dull green, bound in the same material. She opened it and found that it, too, was blank. Celestia jumped as she heard a sudden and alien sound. She looked up to one of the library’s high windows and saw a raven perched there, staring back at her. “A bird,” she said. “My, aren’t you up late? Did living with Fluttershy get too constricting?” Celestia sighed, flipping through the blank book. “I know the feeling.” Something black fluttered behind her. “Celestia,” said a voice, causing Celestia to jump a second time. “Oh my!” she said, turning to see Twilight just as surprised as she was. “Oh dear, Twilight! Please don’t sneak up on me like that! I'm too old for sudden shocks!” “Oh my Celestia, sorry! I didn’t know I was that quiet, I—” Twilight gasped, then put her hoof over her face, blushing. “And that figurative expression is so much more awkward when it’s you...” “I find it hilarious,” said Celestia, closing the book she was holding. Twilight’s eyes were immediately drawn to the tome, and Celestia watched them closely. “Looking for something in particular?” asked Twilight. “I have the second largest collection in all of Equestria. Second to your own, of course, but I’m sure I have something here you haven’t read yet.” “I am a thousand years old, Twilight. I might have you beat when it comes to the number of books I’ve read.” “You’d be surprised. I think I might even have a copy of the Ponynomicon around here somewhere. It’s bound in genuine pleather, the most illegal fabric.” “Oh no, Twilight. I was looking for something more...historical.” Twilight frowned. The tone of her voice changed almost imperceptibly. “Like what?” “Well, I was thinking back on my life, as one does, and I’m afraid I’ve lived so long I may have forgotten some things. I was hoping to jog my memory and read about my own history. Something I’m very privileged I can say. So I came to your historical section and, well...” Celestia smiled slightly and held out her book. “I was wondering why, exactly, you keep blank books on your shelf.” Twilight’s frown deepened, and she raised an eyebrow. “Blank? That book’s not blank.” “Twilight, I assure you, I checked every page—” Celestia looked down at the book and nearly dropped it. The green cover which had formerly been completely blank was now inlaid with a title and author written in gold—the book was called “The Last Unicorn” by somepony named P.S. Beagle. “Wh...what?” Celestia opened the book and saw that it was completely filled with text—and even a few pictures added in the center of a majestic white unicorn. “Celestia, are you feeling okay?” asked Twilight, sounding only somewhat concerned but otherwise disturbingly cold. “Do you have a fever, maybe?” “No, I just...I just...” Twilight sat on her haunches and stroked her chin. “If you’re having memory or perception issues, that’s very strange, and it might explain your Capgras syndrome. Which leads me closer to the idea of a disease with a magical etiology.” “Magical?” Twilight nodded. “Like a curse, or a hex, or maybe a jinx, even. Possibly even a bewitchment, although those are very rare in this day and age since the invention of a good and proper hex. Perhaps an enchantment but, as you know, that’s VERY unlikely without swallowing a soul-gem.” She laughed to herself, but then cleared her throat and continued. “Anyway, if that’s the case, then we need to approach treatment completely differently. I hadn’t considered it before...” Twilight frowned. “But if you got yourself cursed, that means somebody had to curse you.” “Somepony cursed me? Like who?” Twilight shrugged. “You’re the most important pony in all of Equestria, and we know for sure you have tons of enemies. I've ended most of them. But to curse you in particular, it had to be somebody close.” “Like who?” Twilight’s violet eyes met Celestia’s. “That I can’t answer. And it probably doesn’t even really matter. We can take a look at this from a magical perspective, but curses are very, very complicated and it will take time. Hexes are even worse, and don't get me started on jinxes. I could write seven books on that. Real thick ones. With no pictures, because I keep the diagrams in the appendix volume because I'm not a dang savage." She remembered what she was talking about and once again cleared her throat. "We can start tomorrow, because you need to rest.” “I’m not tired, Twilight.” “I figured. I came up here to find you. We were going to have dinner. Spike’s making omelettes, and I know what you’re thinking, omelettes for dinner? But trust me, he’s a master at eggs. All the veggies came from town, and the eggs came from Fluttershy.” Celestia frowned. “Twilight. I think we discussed this. Just because they have wings—” Twilight blushed and gasped, clapping her hooves over her mouth. “Not like that! NOT LIKE THAT! Her chickens! CHICKENS! Like Elizabeak! The food that comes out of their chicken butts!” She winced, cringing with great vigor. "And those are the things you're terrified of because of your alektorophobia..." Celestia considered for a momeont. “It’s technically a cloaca—” “Yes, I know, I had that conversation with Ember and I don’t want to relive it.” Twilight closed her eyes and groaned. “We were going to have peas, but we had to immerse Trixie in them for the soreness. From making her exercise for once. And frankly, my wings feel like they’re about to fall off. I won’t even be able to preen properly tomorrow morning...” “I’m not preening you, Twilight.” Twilight’s eyes widened. “I...no. NO. No peas! We don’t have peas! But you’ve got to be hungry after a performance like that! How the heck are you that fit?” “Despite being old and fat?” “I didn’t say either of those because both are high treason!” “Not technically, I’m retired.” Celestia put the book back on the shelf and followed Twilight to the door. “And my legs and wings are twice the size of you. Of course I can run and fly. I additionally would have won a horn measuring contest, it’s a matter of age. I’m sure you’ll grow eventually too. Hopefully. But yes. I am hungry. An omelette would sure be nice. Then maybe I can read a little before bed.” Twilight smiled. “Of course you can.” Dinner was served in the castle dining hall. It was a surprisingly large room. From the décor, no doubt something that Rarity helped design. It was excessively expansive, but because of the acoustics of the crystal Celestia could hear everything. Every fork scraping against ceramic, ever clink of a glass against the crystalline table. All of it was so terribly grating. Twilight was there, with Spike, as well as Starlight and Luna on either side of the table. Trixie was placed in the farthest possible corner, and Celestia at the head of the table. She had been given an omelette and, having tasted it, knew that it was exquisite. Her brain told her that it tasted just like an omelette, and a very good one. Except that it did not actually have any taste at all. Trixie was the only one with different food. She had been given a bowl of small fruits, and was eating them slowly, an expression of contemplation on her face that slowly turned to one of disdain. Starlight groaned. “What is it, Trixie? You’re making the face.” Trixie looked up. “These schnozzberries...they taste like schnozzberries!” Starlight rolled her eyes and her horn flashed. An enormous vegetable materialized, falling to the table with enough force to shake their various glasses. It closely resembled a cucumber, except that it was massive and warty, with the overall color being stripes of black and white. It was certainly no normal zukkanee. Trixie, overjoyed by the appearance of this bizarre and foul-scented vegetable, immediately attacked it with gusto, biting off large chunks of it. “Like I said,” said Starlight. “She has a special diet. Because, you know. The gas.” “The Great and Powerful Trixie is not gassy!” said Trixie through a mouthful of whatever kind of cumber the thing was. "She is simply far more efficient than normal ponies at exhaling! Also she enjoys puns and reference humor!” “Trixie, the fourth wall—” “LIES! The fourth wall is just a ceiling!” “If you live in a triangle,” suggested Spike. “Quiet, you! Stop trying to confuse Trixie with your fancy mathematics!” Celestia chuckled, more out of politeness than anything else. Something in this room made her nervous, and she was glad she was far away from Spike. Something about him bothered her. Celestia took another bite of her egg-product, shivering as she wondered where eggs did in fact come from. As she did, she twirled her fork in her magic, judging its heft and density. Then, when Twilight and Starlight were looking away, their mouths full, Celestia turned the fork and pointed it at Trixie. With a blast of magic, she accelerated it to nearly the speed of sound. It whizzed across the room and stuck in Trixie’s temple with an audible “thunk”, followed by a springy “TWANG”. Trixie promptly fell face-first into her bowl of schnozzberries. Twilight and Starlight looked up, wide-eyed but not overly concerned. More like surprised and mildly amused. Trixie suddenly sat up, gasping, her eyes facing two different directions. “Trixie UNDERSTANDS!” she cried. “Thoughts—coming—brain fog—clearing! Mathematics, physics, quantum mechanics, souffle recipes! Trixie understands it all! Knowledge of psychology—metacognition! Trixie suddenly understands that she acts out because of a sense of inferiority and that her insistence on Greatness and Power is actually due to deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and lack of confidence from having grown up with an absent mother and no clear father figure! Additionally she holds great guilt over having accidentally ruined the horn of a foalhood friend and now fears pony intimacy, thereby leading to loneliness and exacerbating her behavior! Also, it makes no sense why Starlight is allowed to live in the castle despite being obviously evil and proving it on several occasions, it's because she's hot and Twilight likes to taste that sweet, sweet—” Starlight’s magic wrapped around the fork and pulled it out. Trixie blinked, her eyes returning to normal. “Oh,” she said. “It’s gone. What was Trixie talking about? Hopefully about Trixie. That’s Trixie’s favorite thing, because it’s the best thing. Also I’m Great and Powerful. So there, nubs.” “Celestia,” said Starlight, holding the fork. “I’m not exactly in a position to tell a princess what to do, but please don’t puncture Trixie.” “You’re lucky her skull’s so thick,” said Twilight. “At least it’s only Trixie’s skull that bears thickness. Unlike the non-skulls of others who may or may not be present.” Twilight stared at Trixie. “I’m not knowledgeable about vernacular to know if you just insulted me or complimented me.” “Ask the princess. She’s an expert on thickness.” “You,” said Starlight, pointing the fork at Trixie. “You be quiet and eat your stupid fruit, or I’ll fork you myself.” “It is not as though we did not know that was happening already,” said Luna before taking a sip of her chocolate milk. “Wait, what?” Celestia could not help but laugh. Everything seemed to be a joke. And somehow that made her very, very afraid. “Why did she just do that?!” Celestia turned her head suddenly, having heard a voice. Except that no one had spoken. She was about to open her mouth, to ask if somepony heard it—but kept her mouth closed. She took a sip of her tasteless chocolate milk and took another bite of omelette. “She’s being disruptive...what do you...expect?” “I trust her ability, she knows what...she’s doing...” “Cascade...metamorphosis...” A static filled Celestia’s ears as something in her brain shifted, and the distant voices vanished. Twilight stood up suddenly. Her rump was glowing. “Oh look at that,” she said. “A friendship problem. I have to go. Like, right now. I’ll be back in a little bit. You know, life of a busy princess and all.” “Sure,” said Starlight. “We’ll hold down the fort here until you get back.” Trixie looked down at her own rump. “I’m not glowing, why don’t I ever get to glow?” "I don't know, maybe you need to be more friendly and less disruptive?" Twilight nodded and left, taking one last look and waving to Celestia. Celestia waved back. Something was terribly, terribly wrong.