Celestia awoke to the smell of dragonfire as a scroll landed on her snout.
A brief moment went by as she adjusted from being dead asleep to being awake. The scroll balanced on her nose, forgotten for the moment. She checked her tenuous connection to the sun (even when she wasn’t actively moving it, she could feel its position) and judged that it was around mid-afternoon. She allowed her eyes to open finally, and saw Luna’s seal staring her in the face.
You’ve got mail, Celly, Astra’s voice announced inside of her head.
Celestia snorted into her blankets, sitting up and taking the scroll into her hooves. She broke the seal with a small flick of her magic, then unfurled it with her hooves.
‘Sister, I hope the remainder of your sleep was more restful than the start. In the future, if you wish to meet with me, simply call upon Figment, who will bear word to me. I trust our meetings in the future will be during different hours.’
Celestia nodded to nopony in particular. She hoped so as well. With any luck Twilight’s own schedule would normalize after having settled her mind about her plans.
‘In any case, I’ve included the name of the agent you requested, as well as a passphrase to alert them you are there for business as opposed to their cover. The agent is called ‘Bon Bon’ by most, though her name on tax records is actually ‘Sweetie Drops’, and she apparently runs a candy shop in the center of Ponyville. You’ll need to hold up a ‘lollipop’ in front of her and ask if you might inquire about it.’
‘She will respond with the phrase ‘How many licks do you suppose it will take to get to the center of this?”’
‘The correct counter phrase is ‘fourty-two’. Remember it well, as failure to do so will cause her to dismiss you as a normal customer.’
‘I do not know if that number is correct, however. Please purchase many of these lollipops, as I am curious about the number of licks it might take.’
“Make a note of that, Astra,” Celestia said quietly.
Already done, but I want you to taste test them. I want to experience your memories of that.
“Fair enough,” Celestia replied. “We’ll need to buy enough for Pinkie and Twilight as well.”
Remember to bring bits.
Celestia nodded in agreement, then frowned. She had used Twilight’s shopping fund when she’d gone out to get ingredients for dinner, but she wasn’t certain she felt comfortable using that to buy candy, nor was she entirely certain how much said candy might cost.
She supposed she could have ‘Bon Bon’ invoice the castle for her trouble, but that hardly seemed fair to her, and might pose risk of breaking either Celestia’s or ‘Bon Bon’s’ covers in town. Perhaps even both at once.
As if she wouldn’t give them to you free of charge, Astra said with a chuckle.
“Maybe, if I told her who I was, though proving it might be difficult. I really would rather just pay her, if possible,” Celestia mused to herself as much as to reply to Astra. “As much as royal spies are paid a stipend, if she’s been running a shop that’s her own effort earning her own reward. It’s not right to deny her that.”
You’ll need to tell Pinkie and Twilight where you are going, Astra replied. You could just ask them for permission to use the house fund.
“I suppose I could add a correction to Twilight’s monthly allotment...” Celestia mused.
You should probably do that regardless, considering extra expenses of a guest princess who has a large appetite.
Celestia frowned. “Are you calling me f—”
I’m saying you eat like a large pony trying to get larger, Tia. And before you complain, that’s literally what you are.
Celestia harrumphed unhappily, not wanting to concede the point but not having any argument against it. She looked in Twilight’s mirror across the room, attempting to see herself objectively. Her current form was not very much different than the one she’d grown into over the last few centuries. A bit more svelte, slightly shorter, but everything was in proportion, certainly.
You’re bothered by this, aren’t you? Astra asked, sounding surprised.
“I just get self conscious,” Celestia replied. “I happen to really enjoy food. And I am much larger than any of my little ponies, but that doesn’t mean— I have a metabolism that is quite literally magical in nature. Hardly any of it goes to my thighs, if anything it makes my mane longer—”
Tia, you are not fat. You are however, big. You can stop worrying now.
“I really don’t want to hear that from somepony who can be any size and shape they feel like being,” Celestia replied with a pout.
I can’t be any size at all, Tia. I’m all in your head. But if it makes you feel better, next to your heart, your brain is probably the biggest thing about you.
Celestia's frown deepened even while her cheeks burned. She was still mildly irritated but could think of no response to the sudden backhoofed compliment and the resulting mix of endorphins and anger left her taken aback. “Thank you,” she said at last.
No, thank you, Tia. If it wasn’t as big as it was I wouldn’t be here at all. Would I?
Despite the mixed feelings, she smiled. “I suppose that’s something to be grateful for.” After a moment of consideration, she asked: “Did you mean my brain or my—”
Pick either. Or both. The truth is, I can’t say which birthed me. I suspect the answer is some combination of the two. Either would have been enough.
Celestia smiled despite herself. “Well, thank you either way.”
She gingerly climbed down from the bed, feeling awkward even at this size to be sleeping on an elevated surface. Celestia had been smaller than this current form at one time, but had never been a foal, at least in her living memory. Things that happened before you gained consciousness weren’t the sort of thing one had memories about. But so long as she’d had memories, she’d been happiest to sleep close to the ground, or floor, at least.
After years on her simple but plush futon (a gift from the Neighponese Emperor some seven hundred years past who had learned of her sleeping on the floor in her guest bedroom while she’d been visiting the region. Prior to receiving it, she’d slept on a small cloud kept in her bedroom, but she hadn’t wished to cause an incident by removing a part of their sky.) having to climb down made her feel like what she supposed a yearling foal felt like: composed of gangly and hard to control limbs.
Still, she eventually got four of them off of the admittedly comfortable bed Twilight had provided, the other two she held high to help with her balance. Having finally gotten out of bed, she took a moment to do some basic grooming, then made her way downstairs.
The main floor of the library was quiet, as libraries tended to be. This immediately struck Celestia as odd, since Pinkie frequented these premises and she tended to not think very much about such social niceties.
If you were very lucky, she might refrain from firing cannons at you.
The reason why became evident as she searched the rest of the living areas: Twilight and Pinkie Pie were both absent. She closed her eyes and thought for a moment, reasoning that while it was close to the time when the three would share dinner that she herself had likely broken that cycle by being asleep during these hours.
She went to the icebox, and found a note hanging from it scrawled in Twilight’s familiar script.
Dear Princess Celestia...
It feels a little weird writing this! I just wanted you to know where we went in case you woke up before we got back, but now I feel like I’m supposed to follow this up with something more important?
Fine. Today I learned even more about Pinkie’s talent, and yet I feel like I understand even less about it. But participating in her interests is still fun for us both, even if it hurts my head a little.
In other words, we went shopping for party supplies. Be back soon with dinner.
Your Faithful... No. Not for this.
Your Twilight.
P.S. Sorry about the Princess thing. It’s even harder to write just ‘Celestia’ than it is to say!
P.P.S. Pinkie says you... look cute bundled up in a blanket. I’m sorry. She wouldn’t let us leave until I wrote that for her.
Celestia’s cheeks colored after reading that. She was normally referred to as ‘statuesque’, ‘majestic’ even. One magazine had even coined the phrase ‘Celestial’ to describe a particularly tall model. ‘Cute’ was not something ponies said about the pony who towered above everypony else.
You were cute, once, Astra opined.
“If a pony is cute in a world where nopony is around to notice, are they still cute?” Celestia asked. “How would they even know, without somepony to say so?”
Luna was there.
“Luna was always cuter than me,” Celestia said with a grimace. “She still is.”
Pinkie thinks you’re cute, Astra said with a giggle.
“Pinkie Pie also thinks her pet alligator is cute.” Celestia replied with a frown.
Her pet alligator, Twilight, and you.
Celestia rolled her eyes, realizing that she had no useful retort. She instead looked around for a quill and ink, penning her response at the bottom of the note.
My dearest Twilight,
I had business in town and needed some money for it. I will ensure you are recompensed via an addition to your monthly payment. If I’m not back before you are, please don’t hold up dinner on my account.
Yours,
Celestia
P.S. You are quite forgiven.
P.P.S. Pinkie, thank you. You’re quite adorable as well.
Astra sighed heavily, almost sounding like a gale inside Celestia’s head. Adorable? That’s the best you can do?
Celestia cocked her head to one side, raising a single eyebrow. “I thought it was nice.”
It’s a nice way to talk about a kitten or a small foal, Astra said with exasperation. Surely she’s more than just that.
“Well, she called me cute,” Celestia responded petulantly.
Yes, she did, and it made you blush, Astra replied. Wouldn’t you like to see that same reaction in her?
Celestia considered that for a time. Pinkie Pie’s life was one spent making others smile, but on the rare occasion that somepony went out of their way to do so for Pinkie herself Pinkie reacted like a foal on Hearth’s Warming would if allowed to open a present early only to find the exact present they’d been hoping for.
A fellow mask wearer could recognize pure and simple joy in the expressions of another, after all, and Celestia knew her masks. She’d seen that reaction from Pinkie in several situations, and she wanted to see more of it, whenever possible.
“You’re right, of course,” Celesta replied.
I know I’m right, Astra replied. But it’s nice to know you know it too.
In a very small expenditure of magic, Celestia removed the ink from her postscript in a single thin stream of ink, leaving behind a pristine surface. It was a silly little spell that she’d learned in the long years between when she’d been Princess Celestia of the Everfree and Princess Celestia of Canterlot, back before she’d had things like clerks and secretaries to do all of her writing for her.
The ink danced for a moment, then flew back inside of the inkwell, ready to be used once again. Celestia held the quill in her magic, tapping the feathered half thoughtfully against her cheek.
She kissed you, you know, Astra said conversationally.
“When was this, exactly?” Celestia replied, somewhat disconcerted to be interrupted, and more so for something seemingly unrelated.
While you were sleeping. You had your eyes closed, but the way she moves is very different from Twilight. She poked around your blankets, checked if you were sleeping, then tucked you in and kissed you on the nose.
“And how would you know that if my eyes were closed?” Celestia asked.
You still feel things in your sleep, Tia, Astra replied. I know what a peck on the nose feels like. Twilight gave one to you often enough when she was younger.
Celestia considered that revelation for a long moment. The idea that Astra was more or less just aware of everything she was feeling, even when asleep, was both alarming and intriguing. She resolved to ask about whether Astra might be able to alert her in the event of an intruder in her bedchambers, reasoning that she was long since past due for another assasination attempt. But the image Astra painted of Pinkie tenderly tucking her in with a little kiss was more pressing still.
P.P.S. Pinkie Pie, I’ll forgive you this time, but the next time you kiss me, I expect you to wait until I’m awake.
Astra actually chortled loudly in her head as she saw what Celestia had written. Oh, wow! That pink face is going to be positively rosey after reading that.
Celestia smiled, then placed the missive back on the ice box where she’d found it. She briefly considered rooting around inside of it for a snack, but decided against it with some reluctance. She would be having dinner soon enough.
She checked Twilight’s coffer for the house fund, taking what she hoped would be enough for the lollipops she’d decided to buy, plus a few bits besides in case she found something else that absolutely needed to be purchased. She lamented briefly at her inability to access her private storage space with her retrieval spell, but like dragonfire it required a bit more of her than she could currently manage and even if she could, it would further be entirely inaccessible while she was without the use of her horn, since Aurora was meant to be a pegasus.
Fortunately, Twilight had coin pouches which could be tied around one’s neck, though she suspected Spike normally tied them around his waist.
“All right, Aurora,” Celestia said to her reflection as she slowly braided her hair and tail, finishing by recasting the spell to hide her horn. “Let’s go for a walk, shall we?”
A different dress completed her disguise, and she strode confidently out into the afternoon sunlight, feeling its warmth radiating through her clothing. All around, ponies were ending their days, while Celestia was only beginning hers. It made her reflect briefly on how Luna must feel every day.
She was only vaguely aware of where Bon Bon’s Sweets was located, having passed it while she had tested her “Aurora” disguise the other day. Fortunately Ponyville was not an especially large town as of yet, so a brief search did eventually lead her to her target, with only a minimal amount of meandering about on her part.
By the time she arrived at the shopfront, she had a satchel full of apples, a head of lettuce, a bag of tomatoes, and some savory mushrooms. She reasoned that the salad ingredients helped balance her otherwise horrible eating habits of late, not helped by her intent of acquiring pure sugar in the sweet shop.
“Hey, welcome to Bonnie’s Sweeties!” a chipper voice said as she entered.
“H-hello,” Celestia replied, looking around for the voice, only to be startled by its owner staring up at her from an uncomfortably short distance. The mint green unicorn nagged at her memory, she seemed familiar but she could not quite place—
Lyra Heartstrings, Astra supplied. She was a student in your school for a time, and graduated with decent grades, apparently. Just missed getting Magna Cum Laude, but she was still in the ‘with honors’ ranks. Oh, and she was one of your niece’s bridesmares, apparently, one of the ones who disappeared just before the wedding.
“Bon is working on some recipes right now, but she left me in charge of the shop, so feel free to ask me anything!” Lyra chirped out excitedly. “My name is Lyra, in case I didn’t mention that.”
“Thank you, Lyra,” Celestia responded with a small frown. “I... I was really hoping to see Bon Bon, however. Is there any way—”
“Bonnie’s super busy right now,” Lyra said quickly. “She gets like this sometimes, disappearing for a bit, then she comes back with new candies to try. But listen, I can totally help!” Lyra insisted. She gestured to a wall filled with candies, pointing out individual sweets and reciting their names like a foal showing off artwork to a parent.
Celestia just followed for a time. She’d seen enough presentations by overeager foals and adults alike, going through one more wasn’t particularly onerous to her. She racked her brain for how best to actually make contact with ‘Bon Bon’ without actually breaking Agent Sweetie Drops’ cover, but could not immediately think of one.
Ask her for boysenberry lemondrop. Astra said promptly.
“I’m sorry,” Celestia said just under her breath. “What is that? Boysenberry what?”
Well, boysenberries are a cross species of raspberry and—
“I know what boysenberries are,” Celestis replied crossly.
“Oh!” Lyra said, looking crestfallen. “Sorry, not everypony does.”
Celestia’s ears laid back in sudden dismay, “No, I should be the one to say sorry! I just have a lot on my mind and this isn’t going as I had planned. I really needed to see Ms. Bon Bon, because—”
Tell her you need to place a large order with custom flavors! Astra urged.
“—I needed to place a large order which will include some flavors she doesn’t have on display,” Celestia finished smoothly.
“Oh! Well, I mean, I can check for more—” Lyra offered.
“Do you have Boysenberry Lemondrop?” Celestia asked, smiling sweetly.
“I... I don’t think so.” Lyra admitted, her ears drooping down against her mane. “That does sound nice, though.”
They both started at the sudden muffled sound of an explosion coming from under the floorboards.
Lyra’s ears perked up, her eyes shining excitedly. “That’s her! She must be getting tired, things don’t usually explode until she starts yawning. I‘ll bug her into taking a break so she can talk to you about your order!”
Without waiting for an answer, Lyra dashed past a set of double doors into what appeared to be a storeroom, leaving ‘Aurora’ alone with her thoughts.
They don’t usually explode, eh? That implies sometimes they still do, Astra observed.
“I would expect as much,” Celestia replied. “An agent in an established location with a basement laboratory had likely found all sorts of ways to make explosives and traps and gadgets.”
Isn’t she provided with gadgets and smoke bombs and the like?
“Of course,” Celestia replied with a chuckle. “But even this close to the Everfree, she’d have a lot of downtime. Boredom leads to innovation, which is then often shared with others.”
“Quit shovin’, Lyra!” a voice called out from the stairwell. “At least let me clean up!”
“She’s waiting to talk to you now!” Lyra said insistently.
“Fine!” the voice Celestia presumed to belong to Agent Sweetie Drops replied. “But real quick, okay? I got a lot of testing left to do.”
A very singed and ruffled earth pony emerged from behind the employee doors a moment later, her eyes darting around the room until she spotted her quarry. “Ah, there you are. Sorry Lyra couldn’t help you, but I’ll be happy to take your order.”
Celestia smiled, waving a hoof dismissively. “She was a big help, just unfortunately not the pony I needed to see today.”
“Yeah, she mentioned you wanted some combo pops. I don’t mind mixing flavors, but it might take a bit to finish depending on how many you want.” Sweetie drops replied.
“We’ll get to the order in just a moment, but first...” Celestia held up a single lollipop in her wingtip. “Could I ask you a question about this?”
Sweetie Drops rolled her eyes. “Look, I keep telling ponies, I don’t know how many licks it takes.”
Celestia’s heart skipped a beat, and she frowned, wondering if she had the right pony. “Um... do you suppose forty-two licks might do it?” she asked despite her misgivings.
Sweetie Drops’ eyes opened a little wider, then narrowed. “That’s... an interesting answer.”
She glanced around the room, noting Lyra waiting quietly behind the doors. “Let’s take that order in my office. Got a couple questions I need to ask you about the ratio of the flavors and how you want them mixed.”
Sweetie Drops lead Celestia downstairs, taking her into a small doorway that very nearly made her scrape her horn at the top of the entry despite her diminished form. She gestured to a chair facing the somewhat small desk in the office therein, sitting down in the chair on the opposite side.
“All right,” Sweetie Drops said, settling back in the chair. “Let’s talk about your order.”
Celestia perched precariously on the chair, which would likely have been fine for even the largest of stallions, but was a bit on the small side for her. “Well... that is... I...”
“Shall we drop the pretenses, Ma’am?” Sweetie Drops asked. “You wouldn’t have been given that pass phrase from just anypony.” She nodded briskly. “Agent Sweetie Drops. My friends call me Bon Bon. Do you got orders for me?”
Celestia’s eyebrows rose, but she gave a slow nod herself. “Forgive me. I’m... I need your help, Agent.”
Bon Bon pulled a flask from her desk, pulling the top with her teeth and taking a quick swig of it. She offered the flask to Celestia. “Helps bring things into focus, if you want.”
Celestia hesitated, then extended a wing.
Bon Bon’s own eyebrows rose. “Sweet Celestia, those are huge!” she exclaimed.
Celestia fumbled with the flask, managing to take a swig and simultaneously stifle a giggle at the exclamation of her own name. “They run in my family,” she said as if that explained anything at all. The liquid inside was cool, but burned on the way down, leaving a sweet aftertaste. Her eyes widened in appreciation as she returned the flask.
“So, you got a name?” Sweetie Drops asked as she returned the flask from where it had come from.
“A-Aurora?” Celestia replied after a moment.
There was a piercing look from Sweetie Drops, and for a moment Celestia feared she might be confronted for her hesitation, but no comment was made about it. “Right. And what brings you here, ‘Aurora’?”
“Well... I... I need some help,” Celestia began again. “I need to... observe a target, but I worry I might... Stand out too much?”
Sweetie Drops nodded after a moment. “You’re not kidding. Make 'em tall where you come from, do they?”
“I.. wasn’t always,” Celestia replied evasively.
“We all start off shorter,” Sweetie Drops allowed. “But you don’t usually see your kinda legs on a pegasus.”
“I...”
“Seen a couple unicorns who came close,” Sweetie Drops continued. “Not Pegasi, though. They’re usually more compact. Got any unicorns in the family?”
“Some... distant relations.” Celestia replied. “Cousins and nephews?”
“Right...” Sweetie Drops replied after a long moment. “So what do you need from me, ‘Aurora’?”
“Well... to be honest, I was hoping for some help with my disguise—”
Sweetie Drops let out a sudden derisive laugh. “Boy, you ain’t kidding.”
“I’m... sorry?” Celestia said, confused and a little off put.
“Look, I don’t know why a unicorn would want to look like a Pegasus, but those wings are a little much. Keep 'em closed if you can, they’ll draw even more attention than the rest of you.”
Celestia’s wings tightened to her chest reflexively. “I...”
“That’s good work on the horn. Hard to spot, unless you know what to look for. Dress is a problem, though. The design is eye-catching. You need something more plain. Might need something off the rack from Barnyard Bargains. Some reason you don’t want your mark seen?”
Celestia nodded silently. “It... would be very recognizable.”
Sweetie Drops considered that for a moment. “You mind?” she asked, gesturing to Celestia’s flank.
You had to know this was coming, Astra said flatly.
Celestia hesitated for a mere moment, then used a forehoof to lift the hem of the dress.
Sweetie Drops’ eyebrows lifted higher than they’d ever been, and she let out a barely audible gasp.
“Agent Sweetie Drops...” Celestia said quietly. “Be at ease.”
Sweetie Drops took a moment to take a deep breath. “P-Princ—”
“Just Aurora, please.”
“Aurora,” Sweetie Drops repeated, visibly steadying herself. “Right, Aurora. A Pegasus. Just a Pegasus.”
“With unicorns in my family, yes,” Celestia confirmed. “Earth ponies as well. It’s a large family.”
Sweetie Drops nodded brusquely. “Where is your mission, Pri— ma’am?”
“Canterlot,” Celestia replied.
“You’re... going to stick out even worse there, ma’am.” Sweetie Drops replied. “I... I have something for the mark, if you’ll allow me to help, but the dress will catch the attention of anypony with a critical eye.”
“I won’t need the dress if you can disguise my mark,” Celestia said thoughtfully. “Though it’s much more common to wear dresses in Canterlot, it’s not unheard of to go without.”
“Ma’am... Ms. Aurora...” Sweetie Drops said quietly, looking at her with a far more serious look of concern. “Is... is something wrong?”
“Hmm?” Celestia replied, nonplussed. It took her a moment to pick up on the meaning of the question. “Oh! I’m fine, my little— Ahem. Yes, I’m fine.”
“Do you require more of me than just help with your disguise?” Sweetie Drops pressed with an intent look. “Because if you do, I will be there.”
“Do I require...” Celestia trailed off in confusion.
“Permission to speak freely?” Sweetie Drops asked with a frown.
“Agent, please, treat me as you would any other pony,” Celestia replied without hesitation.
“Ma’am... you’re not here in any official sense. You’ve been declared on sabbatical, at an undisclosed location. You came here to me in an impressive disguise, but I have to wonder why it would be necessary. Are you in danger? Have you been deposed? If necessary, I will have an army at your beck and call within days. Just ask, and I’ll be at your disposal.”
Celestia regarded Sweetie Drops for a long moment before smiling gently. “Agent, I thank you for your concern, but I’m incognito for the very reason you mentioned. I am on sabbatical, recovering from an overexertion on my part. I only require time, and have left the country in my sister’s capable hooves while I regain my strength. I didn’t want anypony to worry excessively, especially not my little ponies here in Ponyville.”
Sweetie Drops frowned again, saying: “Princess... Aurora, whatever you want to call yourself, I... I just know there isn’t a pony here or anywhere that would not drop everything to help you if they could.”
“Agent...” Celestia paused, and took a breath, starting again. “Bon Bon, I believe you said you preferred... I promise you, I’m fine, if a little worse for wear and needing rest. But I have personal business that would be greatly hindered by everypony being aware of my presence, thus the disguise.”
Bon Bon brightened as her nickname was used, even smiling, much to Celestia’s relief. “Okay, if you’re all right, I won’t break your cover. But speaking of covers... what do you need to do, exactly? It’ll help me figure out how we’re gonna play this.”
“I... I need to watch over two ponies who are very important to me,” Celestia began.
“I figured, but more details might help,” Bon Bon replied, gesturing for her to go on, and passing the bottle back to Celestia.
Celestia took the bottle, taking in another long drought. “Right, I suppose... I should start with giving you an idea of what I have to work with, shall I?”
“It’d help to know why you’re not magicking up a disguise, honestly,” Bon Bon replied. “Why a pegasus, when unicorn was the obvious choice?”
“That’s... a big part of why I don’t wish to be seen publicly,” Celestia admitted. “I performed a great feat of magic, and it left my reserves severely diminished. That’s why I am as you see me. And why it was easier to hide my horn. I’m trying to conserve magic use.”
Bon Bon looked Celestia up and down. “You... shrunk?”
“Yes. Alicorn physiology, you see. Gain enough energy and some of it translates to mass, lose enough and, well...”
They talked for some time, Bon Bon occasionally stopping her to ask for clarification, and sometimes just to laugh or jot a note down. She was pleasant to talk to, possessing both a wealth of knowledge about disguises and general espionage and a delightfully down to earth approach to life in general that Celestia supposed came from living under cover successfully in a small farming town.
The note-taking did eventually make Celestia curious, and she asked: “Bon Bon, may I inquire what you’re writing?”
Bon Bon looked up from her scribbling, dropping the pencil with a grin. “Measurements, couple observations, general impressions. Never expected to get details on one of the three known alicorns in Equestria, you see. You’re going in my Bestiary Book!”