"A bow?" Sweetie Drops asked. "All the ponies getting dressed up for this, and you wear a bow?" She glared daggers at Lyra Heartstrings. "Look around you, Lyra. Even Princess Celestia is wearing a dress tonight."
Lyra didn't dignify that with an answer. "You're not."
"That's because I need to be ready in case I need to—" Grumping a little, Sweetie let out a low sigh. "Next time we'll both dress up."
"As long as we don't have a job to do at the same time. Do you think the Wonderbolts know about this intangible threat?" Looking around the crowd, Lyra saw a good number of uniformed Wonderbolts roaming around.
Sweetie, likewise, was casting a critical look around the party-goers. "Probably not. Only a handful of them are trained Guards, and they don't exactly have a tight confidence with Princess Celestia."
"Speaking of. Did you see who's standing at the princess' side?" Nodding her head toward the stairs at the end of the room where a queue of ponies were waiting to speak with Celestia, Lyra went on, "Twilight Sparkle. All her friends got invites."
"All yours did too. Derpy's here, as well as your school friends. I'm surprised Cadance and Shining aren't."
"Shining had business in Yakyakistan and Cadance had to see to something in Prance. The princess seems to be keeping them apart for some reason—I hope it's so she can surprise them by giving them a date." Nothing gave Lyra more feel-good-vibes than the idea of that pair getting married. "I think it will do them both some good to finally secure things."
"Keep it down with that. You never know who might be listening," Sweetie said.
"Yes. You never know." Blue Blood's voice was soft but deeper than either of the two mares. He sidled up beside them with the look of a pony utterly indifferent and bored with his situation. "Good evening, ladies."
Lyra perked up a little. "Hey, Blue. You here under cover?"
His face maintaining a superior sneer, Blue rolled his eyes. "Boorishly so. Please, when we part, snarl something at me behind my back and I'll do my best to ignore it. Any leads?"
"Nothing," Sweetie said. "If there's something going to happen tonight, whoever planned it is subtle."
"Maybe I can get this whole thing ended quickly if I provoke some heiress to snub me. Any suggestions on a mark?" Blue scanned the crowd, mostly looking for suspicious characters. "There's a rainbow-maned mare chasing the Wonderbolts' commander around like a lost puppy."
"Rainbow Dash. She's not a threat to anything but your sanity." Lyra watched as Pinkie attempted to liven up the party with limited success. "This is worse than watching paint dry. I can't believe Pinkie can't even get these crusty old ponies to dance."
"That feisty pink mare?" Blue asked, voice almost purring.
Sweetie snorted. "I haven't known Pinkie as long as Lyra, but I know that mare would bend you sideways and break you, Blue."
"Finally I'll have a use for my bridle." Flashing his best smile, Blue Blood flicked his eyes toward the mare in question again as she danced vigorously at the stuffy upper class elite of Canterlot.
"Ugh!" Lyra turned her head from Blue and groaned some more. "That pony is the worst, Bon Bon. Let's get a drink to wash the bad taste out of our mouths."
Leaving Blue to turn his nose up at their departure—and ogle Pinkie a little more—Lyra and Sweetie made good on their escape to the drinks table. Each grabbed a glass of what they hoped was something low in alcohol and tasted them.
"Rich pony apple juice." Lyra almost spat the stuff out.
"Is that why it's so tart? It definitely explains the attitudes of most of the ponies here. I'd be stuffy and annoyed at everything if I had to drink this too." Sweetie looked around for a valid target to unload her drink in, but there were no houseplants in sight.
"Try the pink and bubbly one at the back. It's hiding behind that large mug of horrid milk."
Both mares turned to the speaker and saw a dark maned unicorn stallion with gray coat and an impeccable shirt on. "Or not. Jet Set's my name. A pleasure—I'm sure." He bowed low enough to consider the pair nobles—mostly because he knew that both had regular business with Celestia.
"Oh." Looking the stallion over, Sweetie tried to remember where she'd seen him before. "Sweetie Drops. Thank you." She made a point of reaching over the back and securing one of the glasses of pink bubbling drink. A sip proved it wasn't even alcoholic. "Is this peach and soda water?"
"A good palate. It definitely is, and it looks enough like champagne that most will think your faculties are compromised. You wouldn't believe the deals ponies will make when they think they have the advantage. Like supplies for a new school."
Lyra's eyes narrowed to a point as she realized who she was talking to. "Jet Set of Jet Logistics?"
"I have a few commercial interests. Jet Logistics is one such. I believe you were looking for somepony in that line of work to form a contract with." Sipping at his own peach soda, Jet waited to see what their reply would be.
"We are. So far everypony we've spoken to has tried to charge us triple what our estimates were," Sweetie said.
"That's because they smell blood. Sharks, the lot of them."
"And what are you?" Lyra asked.
Glancing toward the stairs where Celestia and Twilight stood, Jet smiled. "A very well-mannered shark who has been trying to find new business partners. Come and see me in the morning." He nodded to both the mares and slipped away from them.
"What were you up to, darling?" Upper Crust asked.
Jet Set stepped up to his fiance's side and stood close enough to feel her warmth at shoulder and thigh. "Meeting a pair of ponies I'd been asked to assist."
"Is it going to cost you?"
"What? Of course not. They're funded by the crown—of course I will ensure I still make a profit." Jet levitated a fresh drink over for Upper. "Now, let's go watch what that oaf Blue Blood does next."
The evening, surprisingly enough, was relatively calm. Lyra and Sweetie circulated, and while there were a few kerfuffles that happened, neither found anything they had to break character and throw themselves at.
Once partygoers began to file out, Celestia ensured to give each of her Problem Solvers a slight nod and a gesture toward her. Seemingly all individually, her assistants joined the line to bid her goodbye and—somehow—they were all at the back of it.
"Hiya, Derpy. I didn't know you came to the princess' galas too?" Lyra asked, surprised to find herself right behind the mare.
"She sent me a ticket." Derpy ruffled her wings, looking a little nervous. "I had to leave Dinky with a friend in Ponyville. I hope she'll be okay."
Celestia dismissed the last few guests before spotting a familiar face right before her special assistants. "Ah, Miss Hooves. Just the mare I wanted to see."
"M-Me?!" In shock, Derpy's wings shot out and she looked around, only to realize she, Lyra, Sweetie, Blue, and Celestia were alone in the hall. There wasn't even a Royal Guardpony to be seen. "Y-Your Highness, you must be mistaken. W-Why do you want to see me?"
"Because I am responsible for every pony in Equestria, and it was brought to my attention that there was at least one who I was failing." It was never easy for Celestia to apologize. Ponies seemed to be unable to comprehend that it was her making the mistake, while also stumbling to try to make it their own. "I am in the process of expanding an—oversight department. A group of ponies who can tell me when they see something that might need fixing. For example, when a young mare is raising a bright little filly on a single income."
Derpy spun around and stared at Lyra for a moment.
Smiling in the face of her friend's shock, Lyra shrugged her shoulders. "Derpy, you know what I do for Princess Celestia, right?"
"I—I don't want charity," Derpy said.
"And I don't intend to give it." Celestia took back control of the conversation. "With my usual eyes spending more time away from Ponyville, I need somepony I can rely on to keep her eyes open for problems."
Tucking one wing down, Derpy brought the other forward to rub her chin in thought. "Okay, but I'll be writing weekly reports."
"I look forward to them. If anything is more pressing than those reports allow, please feel free to pop up here for a visit." When Derpy snapped off a clean salute—something Celestia was accustomed to—she was more than a little surprised. "Have you served in the E.U.P. Guard?"
"No, uh, Your—"
"Please just call me Celestia."
Scrunching her snout, Derpy tried to shove her thoughts on the subject in order and just go with the princess' request. "No, Celestia, but I was in the Wonderbolts' young fliers until my accident."
Celestia's hidden eye watered a little. She'd read the reports on Derpy's condition, and how it was incurable. "Then I believe you know how important it is that I know what is happening in the most active town in Equestria." As Derpy snapped another salute, Celestia bowed her head. "Please ensure you keep on top of those reports."
"I will do, Your Celestia!" The bottom fell out of Derpy's world. She'd screwed up not just what Celestia wanted to be called but what she should be called. She managed a good few seconds of absolute terror before a huge white wing cupped her cheek with two huge feathers.
"It's okay. I also have one more thing to tell you. Two of my former students have brought a very clever young filly to my attention. Now, I won't just give her a free pass on hearsay. Could you please escort your daughter to my school at your earliest convenience—she needs to sit an entrance exam."
By the time Celestia was finished explaining her plan, Derpy's wings weren't just out—she was flapping them in excitement. "Y-Y-You mean Dinky?!"
"Miss Dinky Hooves, so her tutors have told me, is very advanced in her use of magic. It's their belief that there is a place for her at my school when she is old enough." Looking briefly over Derpy's head, Celestia could see a huge smile on Lyra's face.
Before Celestia could even begin to get ready, Derpy rushed up and caught her in a hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" She couldn't think far enough that hugging and smearing tears of joy all over Celestia wasn't the most appropriate thing to do in any situation, but she was so full of emotion that she wasn't doing a lot of thinking.
It was one of Celestia's favorite things. She wrapped a wing around Derpy and hugged the mare against her. Tears flowed steadily from both eyes now as she dipped her head down to rest along the top of Derpy's.
"Wait." Derpy pulled back and spun around to look at the ponies behind her. "Dinky's only had two tutors for magic." It wasn't hard to do the math. "Y-You and Trixie were both Princess Celestia's students?"
"Yeah. I don't normally go around blowing my own horn about it. Surprisingly, neither does Trixie—and she is probably the best at blowing her own horn." Having spent most of the encounter hanging back, Lyra stepped up toward Derpy. "Dinky's an amazing filly. It would be a crime not to let her see how far she can grow."
"I'm too emotional to think straight right now. There's a million things I want to ask you, all of you, but I can't think of a single one." Almost seeming to deflate, Derpy tucked her wings back at her side and bowed to Lyra. She then turned and did the same to Celestia. "I'll write my first report and hoof-deliver it to you when I bring Dinky for her test."
Celestia and Lyra said their farewells to Derpy—amidst more hugging—before finally seeing the mare off.
A last look at Derpy prancing down the hallway before the doors closed with Celestia's telekinetic grip filled Lyra with joy. Then she felt the privacy spell lock down around the room. "I didn't see anything that would warrant serious security tonight. Twilight and her friends all caused scenes, but that was just ponies being ponies."
"It was horrible. I had to blow off Rarity. She's the big thing in Canterlot right now, and here I had to snub her just to appease those who expect it of me." Blue arched his head down and hung it in disgrace. "I'd be surprised if she so much as looked my way after that show."
"We were approached by Jet Set. He is offering us a big discount on the equipment and work we need done." Sweetie looked up at Celestia and raised an eyebrow. "Was that your doing?"
"Mine, actually. Jet is one of my foalhood friends, and the only pony that completely saw through my foppish front. He mentioned that you two were about to sign a deal with some company that would probably see your project's budget eaten up before you even opened." Holding up a hoof, Blue blew on it and rubbed it on his chest. "I suggested that he might want to be your white knight." He raised his gaze to Celestia. "Perhaps mentioning that it may lead to a warmer relationship with the crown."
"Good work, nephew. Having some nobles loyal to the throne would be an advantage." Celestia's words were heavy with sarcasm. She looked at Lyra next. "Any thoughts on events here?"
With her thoughts together, Lyra shook her head. "Nothing out of the ordinary, like Bonny said. It was all ponies being ponies. Your feeling…?"
"There is still that something bad is coming. I'm sorry to have dragged you all here for no reason." Breathing out a sigh, Celestia used her magic to dispell the ward she'd placed against eavesdropping. "Please, don't worry about this. I'll figure it out."
"No." Sweetie Drops was shocked to hear the word come from her own mouth. "I might be new to this little team, but we are a team—all four of us. If there is a problem coming, we'll keep our noses to the wind and see what we can find out."
"Hearing you put it like that is a surprise, but a welcome one. Well, since you count myself among the troubleshooters," Celestia said, "could I perhaps add a fifth?"
Timing was everything. Celestia had been trying to integrate her sister into all aspects of leadership, and that included her special interest groups. "My sister."
Opening the doors with her magic, Luna stepped into the ballroom and was relieved to see the population was as minimal as her sister had told her. She recognized Lyra Heartstrings immediately, and her wife Sweetie Drops was known to her, but the third of Celestia's little group shocked Luna. "Prince Blue Blood?!"
Dipping his head, Blue bowed to Luna. "Please, Your Highness, just call me Blue."
"But—"
"Luna, Blue cultivates a very distinct cover he uses in public and reveals a very different side when he is with confidants." None but Celestia would cut in on Luna with witnesses present, but she felt it was needed. "He is smart, confident, and utterly loyal to Equestria."
"Auntie, please." Blue felt a blush rising in his cheeks. He tilted his head to look at Luna and dipped it to show more humility. "Please forgive me the spreading of certain rumors."
Blowing out an annoyed breath, Luna sighed. "So long as you don't start new ones, I think I can manage. So this is your special team, sister?" She looked aside at Celestia.
"These are the troubleshooters I have close at hoof. Blue undoubtedly knows everypony in Canterlot and could tell you where they are, what they're doing, and what they will be doing tomorrow. Lyra is without doubt the best pony for falling into the biggest problems and unraveling them. Sweetie is the softest hammer I've found—I could tromp my way into a problem and start blasting—but I'd rather her more subtle methods. Plus, Sweetie shares some of Lyra's talent." Celestia pointedly ignored the smirk Lyra gave Sweetie and the tongue-poking-out that she got in reply.
"Working off what I know of Lyra, and extrapolating the others are at the same level in their fields, I must conclude you have gathered a mighty force here indeed." Luna was not afraid to give Lyra a little boost to her ego—she had helped Luna immensely with the cabinet group she'd put together. "So why am I here?"
"Because you can operate outside of the restrictions ponies place on me, because you can employ the leadership of a princess, but mostly because I want you to know that I want you to be my equal." As Celestia finished her list, she noticed a smile flicker on Luna's face for just a moment. "Also, it means less work for me to do, which means more time spent baking."
"So what is it we're investigating? What evil looms over Canterlot?" The gravitas of her words seemed a bit much given her sister's joke, so Luna added, "Are the bakeries threatened?"
Everypony froze for a moment as Luna's joke percolated through their heads. Lyra and Celestia were the first two to giggle, then Sweetie and Blue joined in.
When Celestia managed to contain her mirth, she said, "No, sister. In a thousand years of leadership, however, I have gained a sense for when something troubling is about to happen. That feeling is stronger now than it has been in all the time we've been apart."
"You have a hunch?" Luna asked.
"A strong hunch from a well-trained hunch-sensing organ."
"Stronger than me?"
The room—already echoing with quiet—seemed to become even more so. Celestia sighed to break the deafening silence. "Luna, I didn't have a hunch with you. I knew you were returning and I planned for the right ponies to be present at all steps to give you the best chance of recovery."
Luna closed her eyes and focused on how different things were, on the ponies that had sought her out, and tried to ignore her sister's continued foibles. Finally, she took a deep breath and counted backwards from twenty. By the time she reached one, she opened her eyes and felt the calm that behooved a princess of Equestria in her chest. "I cannot argue with the effectiveness of your methods."
Pausing only for a moment, Celestia approached her sister and hugged her. With both forelegs around Luna, Celestia whispered, "I have been in sole command of Equestria for too long. Please tell me when I tread on your hooves."
"'When'?" Luna asked.
"I'll try not to, but I hope we have a long time ruling together. It will happen and when it does I want you to tell me I'm doing it. Don't bottle it up." It was Celestia's latest fear, in fact, that she'd form another schism between them. "I love you."
Three words. That was all it took for Luna's sisterly love to grow. "I love you too, but we are technically working here."
"Oh!" Celestia back off and blinked a few times, reminded that they weren't the only two in the room. "So, as I was saying, we're investigating what I believe to be something or someone looking to bring down Equestria."
Blue let out a soft whine. "I guess I'll go through my contacts in high society and see if any idiots are trying to summon something. Are you sure the threat is that big, Auntie?"
"Now, I must say, this is a surprise." Discord was done with the six ponies and had found something vastly more interesting for his attention. "Fancy finding another chaotic god here biding his time. Go on, tell me your origin story." Cupping his paw to his mouth, Discord turned to face you. "I just love a good origin story."
His teeth on edge a little, Tufts Mango shook his head. "I wouldn't dream of telling you my story until we've shared a drink and a mango."
"See?! This is civilized. You know those ponies tried to blast me with magic? Me?!" Zapping himself with a pointed claw, Discord turned into a bat pony briefly himself—then he froze. "My goodness, now a mango sounds even better."
Turning and leaving the door open for what he could feel was his own equivalent in Equestria, Tufts walked back inside his home. "Once you go bat, you never go back. Do you enjoy tea?"
"Well, I haven't had a cup in about… a thousand years. I can't say I remember if I do enjoy it." Discord told himself he only assumed the pony form to fit inside the house, and picked bat because it looked interesting and would make his host more relaxed. "Tell me, what are you doing here?"
"Would you believe it started with a bang and a whoosh?"
"Those are my favorite types of starts!"
Using his wings to put the kettle on and get two mugs ready, Tufts added some hot water to the mugs. "It started with someone blowing a hole between our two worlds. My world had no magic, so you can imagine the effect."
His eyes widening, Discord felt his very heart swell at the thought—then he realized it was indigestion from the last meal he'd had over a thousand years ago. "That sounds simply marvelous. What manner of chaos did it spawn?"
Grabbing two mangoes from his fridge, Tufts brought them to the bench and twirled a knife around his wing-claw before bringing it down to neatly carve off one mango cheek. "Me. It spawned me." After a pause for effect, Tufts went on. "Well, not just me. It started turning animals into all nature of monsters. It seemed to be a mix of chaos and order—flowing down lines of belief and myth that were thousands of years old. I couldn't do much for the animals—there was just too many of them—but the humans there needed a form and the magic wanted pony. Being a bat, I decided something like this"—he gestured to himself—"would do."
"Well, I mean it does have a certain something. The wings look useful compared to the usual pony equipment, but have you considered draconequus?" With a popping sound, Discord was back to his normal self. "It has several bonus limbs that prove quite—handy—from time to time."
Tufts grinned at the gag. "That was a good one, but this has its perks too. Here, try a piece of mango like you are, then try it as a bat pony."
Narrowing his eyes, wondering if it was a trick, Discord nibbled on the fruit. His eyes shot open. "That's actually pretty good. Could use some hot sauce." A snap of his digits later and he nibbled it again as a bat pony. "You have a very good point there, but I still prefer to noodle."
"Whatever you're comfortable with. So, there was still a lot of magic, right, and I was sick of being the voice of reason and all that, so I directed it to make another myth real. Yada-yada-yada, I think I have the perfect bachelor's life until I meet her."
"Oh dear. You didn't?"
Pouring the water into two mugs and adding tea infusors, Tufts carried the drinks to the table and then fetched the rest of the mangoes. "I did. You should try it some time."
"No. Thank. You. This spirit of chaos is married to his job, and his job is chaos." For just a fraction of a monad of an atomic moment, Discord felt his self-aware nature tingle. He yelled at it, kicked it, and told it to keep its mouth shut if it knew what was good for it. He lifted the mug of tea and took a sip. "Oh, this is quite good."
"You better believe it is, my wife gets it from pr—" Just as he was about to say the source of their excellent tea, a tiny cry came from upstairs. It wasn't the kind of cry that indicated pain or fear—just hunger. "Excuse me a moment."
The crying combined with Tufts leaving made Discord's world tilt a little. His mind raced but, when he appeared at the bottom of the stairs again with a tiny filly in one wing, it was obvious that he was at least playing the part of father. What told Discord everything he needed to know was the intense magic aura coming off the filly.
Realization struck that here was a being of chaos who had settled down. He'd been tamed enough to produce an heir to his magic. A small amount of panic started within Discord. Is this to be my end, too? he asked himself.
As Tufts took a bottle of milk from the fridge and put it in another mug of hot water from the kettle, he realized Discord wasn't really focused on him anymore. "Something the matter?"
Staring down the barrel of his own future, a future where he has a lot less chaos in his life, Discord jumped up and raced out the front door before eating any further mango.
"Huh. Well, I guess that means more mango for me, doesn't it little Gara?" Tufts tickled the sobbing filly's nose and fetched her bottle of milk. "I was worried I'd have to bluff and warn him not to mess with us."