Equestria Sucks!

by Green


Three - ... Or Maybe She'll Ditch Us

It was nearly dawn when the group had been packed up, taken to the breach and ready for the teleport. They were all pretty nervous about it- well, except for Deth and Zixik.

Zix was excited- more than he should've been, and wasn't worrying about anything at all. As they stood outside of Grommash Hold, he was a constant source of positive energy, punching his companions playfully on their shoulders or playing fetch with Kadrek using Deth's arm, much to the dismay of the tank.

Deth was... well, Deth. "Urgh, nubs. Hurreeeee it up so I's can poooown some nubs." He whined, an impatient edge on his voice. This was one of the reasons that Sylvanas had stayed in Undercity.

She was going to go with them, she really was. But one can only handle so many 'LAHDEH SILVAWNUS, I AWM YER BIGGEST FAYN!'s. So, she sent her assistant instead, who was to walk them through the process and also handle any... physical changes that would be necessary in the dimension that they arrived in. It would be tricky, but their mages, paired with the shapeshifting knowledge of the (stupid!) druids, would probably be able to pull it off, turning them into the normal sentient creatures in that universe.

Ah, in theory, that is.

They needed to figure out what this whole place was about, and considering that it had turned Garrosh into Princess Hellscream over there, Sylvanas made the guess that it wouldn't be anything too... dignified.

The assistant gestured for a few mages to gather around, and they all began focusing their magic on a specific point. The place seemed to resist for a moment, then split open into a untamed kind of wormhole portal.

"Alright, now we don't have long. Lady Sylvanas will contact you through the breach, and when you wake up, you should find yourself..." The assistant peered into the portal for a moment. "... Uh, where if that is. Uh... are those... unicorns? Pegasu-" He stopped himself, clearing his throat awkwardly. "This blood elf over here has been working on your forms by looking at the..." He shot a glare at the portal. "... Locals."

"Oh! Oh! Sweet! Can I see?" Zix shoved past his friend, running towards the specified blood elf before being held back.

"Ah, no. You'll uh... find out when you get there. It'll be... a surprise!" The assistant rubbed his face, muttering something along the lines of 'Sylvanas doesn't pay me enough for this,' before returning his attention to the five. "Well, here we go. Step through the portal, and you'll find yourself in... this land."

Zix and Deth collided as they rushed for the wormhole, both entering at the same time. Varillian insisted that he go next, carefully hopping through before Alirak charged in at full speed, followed quietly by Thunderstomp.




The five were aware of acute pains in their heads when they opened their eyes on the other side of the portal. They were in a huge, grassy area, filled with trees. Looked like an orchard. An apple orchard.

"Augh, man, what a rough trip. Feel like I did after that worgen crashed my bud's birthday party..." Zix mumbled, rubbing his head. "Hope Kadrek made it through that porta- Hey, I don't feel any different!" The goblin jumped up, examining his body. He was still a goblin.

"Whas up wit dis, nub?!" Shouted Deth, obviously upset that he didn't get to turn into an awesome whatever-it-was that he'd turn into if the spell had worked correctly. "Dis stooooopid. I wunna gu hoom."

"Shut it, mon. I'm tryin' ta get some slee- WHAT!?" Alirak had slapped a hand to her forehead. "Well, I'm sure dis could be a problem wit' da locals. Varillian, ya know any shapeshiftin' spells?"

"Of course not! What do I look like, one of those oncouth shaman? Ah, no offense Thunder, it's just not the right path for me." Varillian grinned apologetically at Thunderstomp, who said nothing.

"Uncouth shaman? What 'bout druid? Ya got somethin' 'gainst druids?" The troll shouted, shifting into a large panther, roaring menacingly.

"I never said such a thing, though I do believe that it's true, at this point!" The elf retorted, spitting in her general direction.

"Ya shut ya trap, ya good fer nothin' elven..." She trailed off as the air around them shimmered. "What in da name of da Loa-?"

A small window appeared in front of them, and a familiar face soon showed inside.

"Oh. It seems that the spell failed. I must have a... discussion with my assistant on such matters." Sylvanas grinned darkly, before shaking her head. "Well, you must cope anyway. I will contact you through these small breaches, and I'll guide you to the next one-"

"One moment, m'lady, but what do you mean by 'the next one?' Are we not searching for the breach between this world and ours?" Varillian asked curiously.

"Yes, you are. But there's more than one, as we've discovered. It seems that as the worlds press together, more cracks are forming. You must close them all before each world flows into the other." Sylvanas growled, obviously not pleased with being interrupted.

"How many are there?" Zixik asked from behind Kadrek, who he had found in a nearby tree.

"A lot. There are many minor cracks, but there are four major ones, if we patch those up, the rest should soon follow." She replied, looking at someone out of view for conformation. "I should also be able to track your progress. Don't ask now, just point and shoot." She dismissed a question before it even hit her.

A low, strange growling sound could be heard through the portal. "What-" She looked a something nearby then looked back. "Augh, the Alliance-?! You five are in a spot of trouble. Two worgen heading your way." She bit her lip. "Havefunbye." The connection broke and the portal vanished.

"... What just happened?" Zix asked, a distant, confused look on his face. He was snapped back to attention by sounds of something moving nearby.

"Worgen. She was right." Alirak sniffed the air, her tail twitching irritably. "Get ready for a fight, mon."

Alirak and Kadrek unsheathed their claws, Varillian began casting a spell, Zix pulled out his bow, Thunder set down his totems, and Deth dropped his plate leggings.