Dear Twibitch,
Well guess what, while you were busy fucking Flurry Heart, Cadence and whoever else you've forced into your chambers, Starlight ascended Bright Beam and I for what we did! In the event you didn't pay attention when Starlight told you about our accomplishment but we worked together to save my friends, I mean acquaintances and Bright Beam's harem from these crazy witches and this purple goop that they turned loose on the town.
We destroyed the goop, we hunted those witches through some sort of crazy portal, killed them and brought those close to us home. Starlight is beyond amazed that we managed to work together so well. That along with the fact that we saved Ponyville and actually don't hate one another anymore caused her to believe that we are deserving.
You know something Twibitch, you are a horrible mentor. You never cared about me at all, you constantly shit on me and when I do do something heroic you don't even care. Rather than coming down and congratulating me like your mother would you, you send your sister down and she winds up ascending me she was so impressed with what I did. I almost wonder if I wouldn't have been better off being her protege, hell I likely would have.
Guess what though, now Bright Beam and I are BOTH princesses and since Trixie is married to me, she becomes one by default! That has to be a real kick in the face, right? It must bother you so much that Starlight is the nice sister who will do almost anything for anypony, well except for you you little foal abusing bitch. It must sting even more that the whole country, with the exception of your mother, hates your fucking guts.
I honestly think you're such a bad mentor that you make your mother look not all that bad. Yeah I know she shit on you a lot but at least she ascended you herself rather than sending her sister down to do it. Whatever, I honestly don't give a fuck anymore. If you choose to punish me over this, so be it. Bright Beam and I get along now and I'm sure that she'd hire me as the town clerk once she takes office since she is nice like that, well now anyway.
I would write more but Trixie, Bright Beam and I are meeting up with my friends, I mean acquaintances and Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich are going to throw us a "triple princess party!"
Equestria's Newest Princess,
Princess Luster Dawn....damn it feels good to sign a letter that way!
To an Illegitimate Princess,
What the fuck? You have actually befriended those rejects I cursed you upon? How the fuck did that happen? Well right now that is the least of my problems. I am beyond pissed that my worthless sister would have the audacity to ascend you over whatever the hell it is you are claiming. I remember her interrupting me while Flurry and I were eating one another claiming you did something stupid but I really didn't care. Just because I didn't give a shit did not give her the right to ascend you. You should have refused to let her ascend you because that is MY job! It is my job to curse you upon Ponyville for at least three millennia, not her. For that you will be punished.
Wait a minute, did you claim that my bitch sister named not only Bright Beam and you but Trixie as princesses? Oh that bitch is going to pay for naming three new princesses without getting my permission. She has always thought of herself as higher up than me but for her to go over my head like this is going way too far. How I'll punish her I'm not sure yet but it won't be just her who gets punished, you, Trixie, Bright Beam and those bitch daughters of hers will as well.
You know what Luster, you are completely undeserving of those wings and that title. All you have done throughout your whole life is fail me again and again yet my goody-good sister has to go and increase the number of ponies in the royal system like the idiot that she is. Well I'm sure I can find a way to take you, Bright Bitch and that skank Trixie out of the picture. Now I would write more and go into detail what a truly pathetic little bitch you are and list every single failure in your life but Cadence, Twilight Velvet, Flurry and I have a foursome planned soon and I don't want to be late.
Getting Ready for a Foursome,
Goddess-Queen Twilight Sparkle
To My Bitch Sister Who Thinks She is Faust's Gift to the World,
Just who the fuck do you think you are to go and ascend my failure of a protege? You had bashed her just as much as me but then she goes and makes some sort of claim about beating villains and then befriending those freaks I cursed her upon and you go and ascend her? I would also like to know why you didn't notify me of this right away when it happened rather than me having to hear it straight from the little failure herself.
I would love to know why the hell you would make all three of them princesses, especially Trixie. When you betrayed that bitch the way you did it was such a wonderful moment for us but now you go and do this? Hell I can't help but wonder if you don't still have a little something for her and decided that giving her wings and making her royalty was a good way to apologize for doing to her what you did.
It is no wonder mom likes me more! She likes me more because you are far too nice to ponies undeserving of kindness, just like how you allowed Flutterbitch and Discord to get married. I would love to know though what caused you to become a defect. At one time you and I were both equally as big of bitches but now I'm the only rational thinking sister now. You care way too much about others and not nearly enough about your sexual desires....especially given you just freed Stellar Flare the way you did! I heard about what happened and I would think you would be smart enough to tell that she was only pretending to be bad to get out of your bed. I NEVER would have freed her like that, I would have simply horn raped her violently until she did her job right.
I do know one thing though, I know that this will make mom love me even more! I know how important her approval is to you yet you continue to do things to make her think more lowly of you! Just wait until I tell mom about this, she is going to hate your guts!
Getting Ready to Tell Mom,
The Overall Better Sister
P.S. I want to know something. Why was it when you had me held in your aura I couldn't break free? We are both equally as powerful so that shouldn't have been the case.
To My Bitchy Little Sister,
Go ahead and tell mom, I honestly don't care at this point. I have a job to do and I have a feeling it won't be long until I'm stuck doing all the menial crap you do. Mom may love you more but the country supports me and now that I think about it, that is FAR more important. Support from the populous is everything Twilight and while I have it, you don't and likely never will!
Oh and as far as you not being able to break out of my aura, let's just say that some ponies are more equal than others!
The Sister THE COUNTRY Loves,
Starlight Glimmer
Dear Mom,
Guess what dad's precious little Starlight did? What she did has really pissed me off and if it wouldn't take time away from my sexy times, I would punish her severely over it. Well apparently Bright Beam and Luster Dawn wound up defeating these witches that came over through some portal. Apparently they kidnapped Luster's "friends" and Bright Beam's harem. From what my idiot protege is claiming they destroyed this purple goop with their magic, went through this portal, killed those witches and then brought their captives home before draining that portal using their magic.
I think it is nothing short of a crock of shit but Starlight bought into it and get this, she ascended not only Bright Beam but Luster Dawn too. That is highly illegal because I am the only one who should be ascending that little failure, not my bitch sister. To make matters worse, both are now princesses and since Trixie is married to Luster (that STILL pisses me off) she is now a princess too.
I'd love to know where Starbitch went wrong. At one time we were both bitches but now she has become the ultimate goody-good. Hell she is WORSE than Luster ever was! At least she was a bitch in her failures but my sister is acting all pious and shit while she is showing kindness to those who aren't even remotely deserving of it. I'm not sure exactly what to do right now but I'm thinking of taking a trip to Ponyville and removing the wings of three undesirables using any means necessary....no wait, make that four because that bitch Scootaloo doesn't deserve them!
I would write more but Flurry is begging for some loving from her big sister.
Ready to Buck Flurry,
Twilight
To My Dearest and Favorite Daughter,
I can not believe your sister would do this. I knew that deep down she had too much of her father in her and not enough of me in her. Why I adored her for so long is beyond me. Perhaps it was her powerful magic but given that the real her is a pony who cares too much about most everypony else, I know you're much more like me! You see, that is why you're favorite and will continue to be. Unless you go soft and start caring about other ponies, you will remain my favorite.
Remember Twilight, I will always be here for you and while I could never take Starlight on horn to horn, I'm sure I could turn the country against her since everypony absolutely adored me! I could always expose her brief ownership of Stellar Flare and why it happened! That way, no matter how prosperous the country is, I could turn them against her and get them to favor you, the better sister.
Anyway, you have fun with Flurry and your other toys and don't worry too much about the shit that Starlight pulls. Remember, you have equal power to her so I'm sure if you wanted to, you could go remove those wings from those four but that would likely cause you and your sister to have another magic battle. Don't worry though, I know that you could eventually top her because who knows, she may not quite be infinitely powerful while you are. Use your best judgement in handling this and think about whether Canterlot wants you two tearing open the fabric of space and time. I would write more but I have a huge cake awaiting me.
Love,
Mom