//------------------------------// // "What is a Juggalo?" // Story: Insane Clown Posse goes to Ponyville and get flamed // by Rambo //------------------------------// Note: The following story is not intended to be offensive. It is intended to be as stereotypical as possible... and to have a simple and predictable yet stupid story line of ponies helping two good friends get back to their home... through the power of friendship. Insane Clown Posse visits Ponyville "What is a juggalo? Let me think for a second Well, Oh, he gets butt-naked And then he walks through the streets Winking at freaks With a two-liter stuck in his butt-cheeks What is a Juggalo? He just don't care He might try to put a weave In his-" "Hey! Shut up you clowns, people are trying to get some sleep here!" shouted an elder neighbor to the infamous Insane Clown Posse. To ensure his rage, he threw a beer bottle which smashed against their trailer wall splashing the remaining liquid all over Shaggy 2 Dope. "Aye fool, we own this place, we can do whatever we want back here!" Shaggy shouted to the elder who was now going back inside his house. "Keep it down, or I'll have the cops here in seconds" with that, the old man shut the door behind him violently. The area of Harlem was pretty bad at such a late hour of the night. Shaggy wiped the beer that landed on his face and looked at his hands to see an old Duct Taped covered microphone. Cursing the threat of his neighbor, he sat down on the crate he was standing on to see his Fat Clown friend Violent J sitting on an old ruined couch that was just outside the trailer they lived in. "Man J! How we e'er gonna get outta this place! Weez renting a frickin lot beside some old man who won't let us play our masterpieces!" said Shaggy angrily. Fat Clown/Violent J was sound asleep with flies hovering around his open mouth. "Wake the f*** up Jay! We gotta get real dog!" Shaggy slapped Jay across the face to force him to wake up violently. "Blurgh, blah, Jugga, Juggalo whoop whoop!" started yelling Jay flailing his arms around having been woken up by a slap to the face. "What is it Jay? You got more lyrical genius that can get us outta this place?" he asked with a sleepy tone. Shaggy began to pace back and forth from the couch where Jay sat to the old rusty BBQ grill that was a few meters away. "Nah man, that old man John just keep bustin my freestyle and momentum of a masterpiece hit! He threw a beer bottle at us and crap, dog!" Jay's eyes widened up when he heard that the neighbor had attacked them with a beer bottle. "Oh hell no Shaggy, this old man is about to go into retirement right now dog, gimme my gat, bro" he held out his hand, waiting to receive the pistol he entrusted his faithful friend to keep safe for him. "Nah bro, you gonna make us get arrested dog! What is a juggalo my homie! We is Juggalo's, we don give a **** what people think!" "Gimme the gun Shags, this old man is gonna get his now!" "Dog, that old man is a Vietnam Veteran, Green Beret! He'll kill with his barehands dog!" "I don't give a cow's ass shaggy, gimme my gat or i'mma break open your Sega Dreamcast!" Frightened by losing one of his most valuable possesions, shaggy withdrawed a .22 pistol from his back that was missing the trigger guard and was rusty all over. The gun was loaded with only 4 hollow tipped rounds since those were bullets the two of them found when they went dumpster diving. The fat clown cocked the gun and shot one bullet in the air before he took aim and shot at Old Man John's window. Jay had the aim of a Stormtrooper, he shot two more bullets and missed the window that was only 20 meters away from him. "Damn shaggy, I am trippin on some serious stuff man! What were the names of the pill you gave me dog?" "Shaggy, who's eyes were wide with terror, facepalmed and snatched the gun away from Jay before he wasted the last bullet. "Dog, those were tictacs because your breath smelled like ass! Oh shoot! Dog!" Shaggy and Jay paused to listen to the sirens of the state police get louder and louder with every second. "It's the fuzz J! Look what you did, now we gonna gots to go to jail bro!" Jay pulled Shaggy inside their trailer quickly and locked the thin metal door with a masterlock combination lock. "What we gonna do Jay! Look what your dumbass did!" he scolded at his friend. "MY Dumbass? You the one disturbing the old man John! You should have known better! Now we gonna get the Dark Carnival shut down!" "Nigz! The Dark Carnival is just our front yard dog, all we got is the tire swing and a rusty spring pony for the kids man, the Dark Carnival can never be real unless all juggalo's put the welfare money together! Now they gotta use that money to bust our asses out of prison dog!" They could here the police pull over in front of their raunchy trailer opening their car doors. Shaggy quickly extinguished the candles that lit the trailer before retreating to a where Jay was cowarding under the table. "This is the Police! Come out with your hands down! We do not want to smell clown must and call in a Hazmat unit!" "Awww sheeeit Shaggy! It's all over! For us!" Jay began to weep with his head between his legs. Shaggy wiped the sweat off his forehead before he took in a deep breath and held out his hand to his good friend. "We go out, we go out together, as friends, dawg" said Shaggy shadily. Jay grabbed his hand and both of them gripped each others hands tightly before Jay said. "Friendship dog, it's all about the friendship, whoop whoop!" "Friendship is Magic, dog" As soon as those words left Shaggy 2 Dope's mouth, a blinding white circle began to appear from where they sat at under the table. Both of them screamed like pansy's and held onto each other. "Yolo!" yelled out Jay like the fatass clown that he is and then the white light was too much, they were not only blinded but knocked out by some strange force, everything went black for the two clowns. Both of the high school drop-outs awoke on the ground that was of soft and smooth green grass. Shaggy began to wake up, his vision still blurry and his mouth as dry as ever. He sat up and cleared the eyecrust away before he turned to awake Violent J. "Yo Jay man, wake up, wake up Jay! It looks like we in-" he paused and looked around. Surrounding them were a various amount of multicolored ponies consisting of all three types, Earth, Pegasus, and Unicorn, all staring at them. "Dog! DOG WAKE UP!" Shaggy start to shake Jay very violently until he finally snapped out of what seemed to be like a minor coma. "Yeah, mom i'm up. I'll be sure to take the dog out to walk" said Jay, still having his eyes closed. Shaggy was aggravated, he took a grip on Jay's neck and layed a good few slaps on him across his face. "Wake up fatass, we is surrounded by... by horses, dog!" "We're ponies, not horses" said a voice from the crowd. "Aye, whoever gonna correct Shaggy 2 Dope, step up now so I don't have to hunt you". Jay and Shaggy stood side by side attempting to look frightning but instead it caused a stir of giggles amongst everyone. From the crowd stepped the lilac coated unicorn from Canterlot, Twilight Sparkle, confused as everyone else to see such strange human beings in their world. "You two aren't the first humans to be here but all of us can honestly say that you two are certainly the STRANGEST humans to be here" said the wise mare. Shaggy was bewildered to even so much as hear an animal talk. "Jay, look at this man, this here's a talking pony, dog!" he slolwy began to inch his way towards Twilight with his face all scrunched up in confusion. "Yo, did you... did jew just talk?" he asked. Twilight nodded and with a fast mind explained to both Shaggy and Fat Clown how some saying opened up a portal to the pony dimension aka Equestria. She carefully explained that they were not the first humans, there were others... "As for the other few... they got a bit too... 'touchy' with some of us and the princess would not allow such a cross, so the other ones are probably in the dungeon, dead or surviving... or the moon" Fat Clown/Violent Jay forced his eyes open, breaking off the moldy eyecrust with his eyelids and stared at Twilight. "Did you just say there other peeps here? Where dey at, hoe!?" he demanded. All the ponies that formed a perimeter around them gasped that Jay just insulted Twilight with such language, Twilight didn't care for the insult much, she merely smiled at Fat Clown and said "You aren't really civilized are you? You two look like you just came out of a circus, I doubt the Princess will like you two, let alone stay here in Equestria, Spiiiiiike! Take a letter please" she asked. From the crowd of ponies came running the little purple dragon with a quill and parchment ready to take note. "What the hell dog! Is dat there a dinosaur?!" Shaggy said, pointing directly at Spike with his long scrawny finger. Spike snapped at him stating her was a dragon, there was a difference. Shaggy and Jay sat queitly waiting to see what the dragon was about to do. "Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that other than the... 'touchy' humans that were here but now gone, there are other humans who have no desire for their needs but instead their rude impolite behavior has left me no choice but to request for your visit along with the Royal Guard and your moon cannnon. Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle. Did you get all that Spike?" Spike nodded to ensure her that every single letter was written. Twilight ordered Spike to send the letter but just before he did, Shaggy pleaded to not fetch "The big boss princess po-po". Shaggy explained how back in their world they were poor clowns that lived in a trailer, making music for a living and there were other clowns like them that supported their music. All they were trying to do was make music to make money so they can live a better life. Everyone began to feel sympathy for them when finally Twilight ceased his talking to let him know she understood their struggle. "I see... well we can attempt to help you two out, but we need someone with artistical talent to help you two in your world, if you do manage to get sent back, the most we can offer is some great advice in order for you two to be successful! And... some bits would help, just a small bag" she finished saying. "Did you say bits? What kinda pill is that, I like the sound of it, i'll take two grams" Violent Jay said, licking his lips, excited to see what bits were. Twilight facehoofed and without any tone explained how bits were the currency in Equestria, Jay felt really stupid, he always had. Twilight called for Rainbow Dash who came from a cloud that rested above them, giving the crowd some shade from the sun. "What is it Twilight?" Rainbow asked. "Go fetch Zecora or Vinyl, they'll surely be able to help in this situation, especially Zecora!" she returned. "You got it!" she saluted the lilac unicorn and took off in an instant in search of the ponies Twilight requested. The clowns just watched as the pegasus with the multi-color mane disappeared into the sky. "Ponies can fly?!" the crowd began to giggle at their ignorance. "They suuuuuuure can! And Unicorns can use magic!" replied Pinkie Pie who made a path through the crowd with a little cart she was tugging. "You two are new to ponyville and i'm here to welcome you all to our home!" Shaggy and Fat Clown were still in awe at the talking ponies. "I din't know horses could use magic!", Pinkie Pie giggled. "No silly! Unicorns use magic, Pegasus use wings to fly! That's what we are all about, now time for your welcome song!" everyone in the permiter stepped away a few 15 meters, still having their circle formed around the two humans. Violent Jay shook his head before speaking. "So... ya'll is talking ponies in some sort of magic land?" All the ponies that gathered around them nodded. "Equestria is what it's called, we've been here since like forever! Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "Damn, this place looks like a real bitchin' place for juggalo's to to live at, right Shaggy?" shaggy replied to his fat clown ally with a nod and "whoop whoop". All the ponies were rather confused at the two human intruders, it wasn't they're first encounter with them, but this was certainly the strangest one. After a few seconds, Rarity stepped up to the middle where the clowns were and asked what exactly a Juggalo was. Shaggy and Jay turn to one another and both grew a wide fearsome smile across their face's. "Should we tell'em Jay?" Shaggy asked. "Les' do it" Jay returned. The skinny pasty clown began to look over the heads of the ponies looking for a clear open area until he spotted Mayor Mare's stage that she uses to announce big events. "Aye SparkleSqueezy, dat stage got electrocity?" (YES elecTROcity) Shaggy adressed Twilight. "Of course, why wouldn't it?". Jay clapped his hands together and began to rub until the friction kicked in. "Ok ya'll who here wants to listen to some wicked clown s***? This s*** will **** you're motherf***in mind!" One by one, each pony nodded slowly, disgusted by the clown's un-needed language and one by one, they all proceeded towards the stage.