The calming tea was proving somewhat ineffective. Those fiery slit eyes still haunted her mind. Twilight Sparkle, her faithful student, stood ready to try and kill her. It was far too reminiscent of her sister’s a thousand years ago.
She closed her eyes and tried to savour her beverage. The smooth, slightly exotic taste of its imported herbs was still the same as it caressed her tongue. The complex yet subtle mix was far more potent than anything she would allow to be sold publicly. Try as she might Celestia could not get today's events to settle in her mind. Her expected peace of mind denied her, she sighed. Even her tea, her one fall back over the last few hundred years had failed her.
A little magic danced along Celestia’s horn. A simple spell confirmed her tea was laced with exactly the poisons she intended to consume, so it was doubtful the alchemy was at fault. She rubbed her forehead with a hoof. If the concoction was made any more potent, the vapours alone would start to affect normal ponies. She would have to find another solution. She sighed again as she turned back to tackle at least a few more pages of her endless torment. She found herself resenting the chains of her duty, again. She was doing a lot of that lately.
Somehow these things were easier to deal with in the past. It used to be easy to just become as ice inside. Now with those she cared about in play, it was becoming harder and harder to center herself. The ice that had shielded her heart had melted.
Celestia gazed out of her study's window. No matter how long she stared at the wide-open sky, she still would not have the luxury of indulging in the simple pleasure of flight today. There was far too much that needed to be done for her to fritter away the time on anything non-productive.
The darkness on the horizon drew her attention again. She frowned for the sixth time today at the thick bank of dark clouds steadily moving closer. “They are a day early."
But perfectly in time to be an omen. Daybreaker added.
“It's most likely just a clerical error.”
“As you say, your Radiance,” Daybreaker said with mock respect.
Celestia considered it for one moment. Memories of her sister twisting the weather of half the nation with one of her foul moods. Could this be Luna’s or Twilight's doing? No, Luna was too rational now, and Twilight was off trying to save Candice. Celestia shook her head. No, her Warmind was just being paranoid. Just like she was created to be.
She sighed. A simple mistake was the only thing that made sense. So many of her ponies kept making them. Did she have to micromanage everything? Luna was right, she needed to get more trusted assistants. Ones she could have faith would do the right thing without having to be continuously checked upon. The dark blot on what should have been a lovely blue sky caught her eyes again. Well, at least this mistake would only end up with a few of her little ponies getting wet.
Celestia looked back to the papers before her, the stack loomed like an unconquerable mountain.
You would be happier if you dove out the window and spread your wings. Daybreaker purred.
Celestia refused to admit her Warmind was right. She set back to work, her quill diligently danced over the parchment. The sight of the feather’s motion just kept the allure of flight alive in her mind. She shook her head and focused on the damage report. Twilight's outburst had caused complications, expensive complications. After how collected her former student had been confronting her, she had not expected anything like this to happen. It was such a waste and had caused her so much work.
Gilded Star might have been a useless individual, but still, it was unfortunate whenever it became necessary to sacrifice one of her ponies. Yet for Twilight, she would willingly offer up much, much more. She was becoming far too sentimental. Something she knew her teachers would have disapproved of. She did not have any scars, but she well remembered their lessons.
Her eyes lifted to a simple picture frame. Every time she saw it, it brought a smile to her face. Young Twilight smiling, muzzle buried in a book that sat next to her. The difference between that treasured moment and the recent disaster was jarring. The utter look of anguish Twilight had when she realised the harm she had inflicted had been heart-wrenching.
Celestia’s golden aura drew the picture closer, her hoof pressed it close to her chest. Her former student was going to need support, somepony to be there for her. It still hurt that she could no longer be that pony for her. No matter how much she wished to be.
Celestia’s mind, faithful as ever, replayed the event, that brief clash, power matching power. Despite the pain, it caused Twilight, Celestia was grateful for Candice’s folly. With Twilight’s mind fortified by her mental Bastion, there were no simple options. She could not simply be mentally dominated, forced to sleep or ordered to calm down. This was precisely the reason she had planned on keeping both Twilight and Cadance ignorant of the full extent of their powers for a hundred years. Alicorns could be far too volatile during their first century.
A memory was pulled back in to focus. Her Warmind making a point. Twilight looked like a divine incarnation of vengeance as she glared at Gilded Star. She was magnificent. Daybreaker breathed.
Celestia nodded.
All that righteous rage. All that passion, just like you used to be. With that white coat and burning mane, it is almost as if she was your daughter. Is there something you've been keeping from me, your radiance?
“Enough of this. If you wish to persist in talking to me, you can help.” Celestia waved a hoof at a large stack of paperwork.
Can I just burn them?
"No, as tempting as that might be, no. It would cause too many problems in the future to be worth the momentary satisfaction. "
You have to do something before you drown in paperwork. And I have a plan.
"You do?" Celestia carefully put her quill down and returned the treasured memory, frozen in the picture frame, to its place. She closed her eyes and turned her full attention to her mental garden.
She took a deep breath, and the scents of her favourite flowers lifted some of the weight from her shoulders.
"Tea?" Daybreaker asked, teapot held in her hooves.
“Please.” Celestia gratefully moved round her table and took her normal cushion. She watched the fragrant brew pour into her usual cup. "You said you have a plan to be rid of some of the tedium."
“Yes, your Radiance.” Daybreaker’s smile just showed her fangs. “Two related ideas, to be precise.”
“Please proceed, and you may serve yourself as well.”
Daybreaker served Celestia’s Mask before pouring her own. “We need an Assistant. One that excels at paperwork.”
Celestia glanced at her Mask who gratefully accepted the drink with all proper decorum, exactly like she was programmed to. “We have a small army of them.”
“But only one of any real ability. Paper Pusher.”
It took only a mere moment to bring up everything she knew of the stallion. “The one from RGIS?”
“That's the one. Now we either take him as ours, or you make a fragment based on him.”
“No. That…” Celestia cut herself off. Yes, it was well within her abilities.
Daybreaker smirked, leaning a little closer "You took pieces of a shattered soul and repaired what you could of Twilight. You took a blank mind and restored a father to his family." Her slit eye’s intensity was the perfect accompaniment to her teasing fanged smirk. "You know this would be but a small thing."
“What about his talent?” Celestia mused.
Daybreaker smiled, showing her fangs. “Well, we are most fortunate, we know one who has proven very adept at manipulating cutie marks.”
“We will need to invite her to the palace…”
“Simply make it about helping Twilight, and she will come.”
Celestia paused her contemplation and narrowed her eyes. “Why are you suggesting this?”
Daybreaker waved a hoof. “Can’t you accept I wish to see you find a little happiness?”
“I created you remember, I know your priorities. Why are you doing this?”
Daybreaker sighed dramatically. “Well, don't say I did not try to be nice.” She polished her hoof and regarded it. “You are proving to be a liability.”
Celestia surged to her hooves glaring “Me? A liability? How dare you!”
“Sit” Daybreaker snapped.
Celestia felt her rump gracelessly crash back into her cushion. “What?”
“Your rules Celestia, your rules.” Daybreaker scolded smugly as she circled her. “No, I shall explain. Rule four-thousand-twenty-six I am allowed to stop you acting against your other directives and priorities if you are compromised.”
“I am not compromised!” Celestia’s hoof raised. She only just stopped herself before it slammed into her table.
“You have been ever since Twilight rejected you.” Her Warmind waved her hoof. “Oh, you've been getting better, which is why I’ve not done anything so far.”
Celestia deliberately calmed herself, if that was to do with the rules binding her Warmind no amount of anger would help. Only calm collected logic could get through this. “Why now?”
“You have been letting your emotions dictate your actions more and more.” Daybreaker sighted. “Face it, Tia, you are stressed. You need to relax before you lose it or make a critical mistake.”
“Like failing to anticipate...”
“Yes, how did you misread your nobles so much you did not see that coming?” Daybreaker sat beside Celestia, draping a wing around her. “As much as I enjoyed the show. This is not like you, Tia. You need help," Daybreaker said before Celestia felt a warm nuzzle against her neck. "You need to relax.”
“There is just so much to do, now more than ever.” The weakness and the whining tone in her own voice surprised Celestia. Since when had she been so fragile? Her mentor would have had her executed if he saw her now. She needed to be stronger than this, she needed to be better than this. Despite her thoughts, Celestia felt her body lean into Daybreaker’s embrace. She let her eyes close. “Just five minutes.” It was far too nice, just to be held, not to have to be the Princess.
“Yes, your Radiance.”
Celestia took a deep breath. The stack of paperwork was no smaller, but somehow it seemed less daunting now.
She did not need to reach for her connection to the sun to know more than five minutes had passed. The positions of the shadows in the room gave that away. Celestia couldn’t summon the motivation to even be indignant about it, let alone angry. Simply being held like that had felt wonderful.
She stretched her great wings. The majestic limbs flexed. Surely a quick flight would be acceptable. Daybreaker was right. If she did not look after herself better, how was she going to take care of her ponies?
She thought about Daybreaker’s suggestions. Her Mask was adequate for dealing with most paperwork but was not optimised for it. Using Starlight to copy Paper Pusher’s mark was a good idea, but too risky. Starlight was Twilight's friend and student. Any request for her services should properly go through Twilight. She would have to create this new fragment on her own, even if it would be based on a peek inside Paper Pusher’s mind.
She stood, stretching her body. Each muscle responded to her will, shifting and carrying out her command. If only her ponies would be so obedient, it would make things so much easier.
You're the one that decided to give them a better life. Allowed them to be more than the Alicorn Imperium would allow. Daybreaker said.
“I know. I still think it was the right thing to do…” Despite how many problems it caused, Celestia did not add.
But sometimes you miss it, the total power, the mortal ponies all being yours to do with as you will.
“It was wrong,” Celestia stated, nearly slamming her hoof onto the desk.
But, still you crave it, Daybreaker teased.
“No,” Celestia said, trying to believe it.
If there is one pony you should tell the truth to, it should be yourself.
Her golden aura tenderly retrieved an ancient wine glass from its shelf. It was such a simple thing to look at, and yet it was older than her. She brought it closer. Her eyes caught her reflection. Her imagination embellished the distorted image. Gold and jewels of untold value decorated her as servants immediately leapt to satisfy her every desire.
Celestia closed her eyes. “That's no longer who I choose to be.” She carefully returned the priceless antique back to its place. This was the world she had made. This was the role she cast herself in.
A deep tired sigh escaped her. At least she had a plan to make things better, a few simple things to allow her to get more than a few moments to actually live. An honest smile threatened to find a home on her face.
“There, that's better.” Daybreaker’s voice was insufferably smug. But, she had been right. She needed to be reminded of why she did this and to be humbled, but she had to face the fact that, yes, she was a pony too.
Celestia quickly put together a plan of what she needed to do, what skills and traits she wanted to have in her soon to be mental assistant. To do this right, she would need a clear mind. If she still had any of this stress and disharmony in her heart, it would taint any fragments she made.
The open sky called to her, a siren song of freedom. She could just keep flying and not come back. It was a sweet dream for all of a few seconds. She considered for a few seconds. "Perhaps the spa then?"
Acceptable… but you will ask for a happy ending.
"I will not. That would be completely unacceptable behaviour for a Princess."
Which is why you should do it.
“I am not some tyrant of the old Imperium. Our little ponies are not just there for our pleasures and games.”
No, you are far more benevolent than even the best of them ever were. But you are still a mare. One who has denied herself for far too long.
“I have been too…” Celestia protested.
“Busy? Excuses.” Daybreaker snorted. “Take what you want for once. If you're worried about using them, assume a more common form and find companionship the normal way. If you don't have the time for that, you have the whole of the royal guard, they are your personal harem, after all.” Daybreaker said clearly before her voice dropped to a husky whisper. “You know more than a few fantasise about you…”
Celestia slowly nodded. Daybreaker was right again, she had time and time again seen herself in many ‘situations’ when browsing the minds of her guards. If it was what they wanted, then she would not be taking advantage of her position. She would not just be using them. She let her mind start to wonder, it had been a very long time.
A hoof rapping twice on her door pulled her from her daydream. "Auntie, we need to talk." Cadance's voice was calm. Too clam.
Celestia sighed. "Please do come in, Niece. My door is always open to you."