//------------------------------//
// Operation: Best-Date-Ever Preparations 
// Story: Care to Take a Lady Out on a Date? 
// by MisterEdd 
//------------------------------//

The rest of the evening passed without too much incident. After dinner, Rarity had to take Sweetie Belle back to the boutique as it'd be the first place her parents would look for their youngest daughter and the filly gave you a tight hug before she left. Yeah, it was a pretty safe bet that you loved the tyke and not in a creepy Lolita way but like a little sister. The timing was perfect as five minutes after making it through the door, Cookie Crumbles arrived to take Sweetie home and according to Rarity, she was still visibly miffed but at least behaved in a civilized manner. You'd shuddered to think how Hondo would've reacted had he been there.  

You highly doubted he would've ever laid a hoof on Rarity no matter how angry he got but still, it was a scary thought nonetheless. Rarity soon returned to your place and after relating the details of the event, the two of you laid down in your bed and...talked. Yeah, like a full-on conversation. No hanky-panky of any sort went on and you honestly didn't mind. The two of you talked for at least an hour and a half before you cuddled, later falling to sleep in each other's embrace. 

God, you sound like a YA novel character. 

Rarity had to wake up early to open the boutique, much to both of your chagrin, though you managed to have a short make-out session before she left. And you gave her a butt-smack for good measure, something that she didn't mind as she walked away while swinging her hips. You were indeed a lucky man. After eating, showering, and getting dressed, you were ready to start the day, filled with a type of vigor you'd not felt since...well, never. After doing some plumbing at the day spa (seriously, were they ever going to fix those pipes?), you headed over to the town hall to scrub the floors.  

Why did they still have a mayor if there was a princess living in town as well? 

This was followed by some light lawn work over at the Rich estate, including hedge-trimming, raking, branch pick-up, and mowing. Despite what ponies said, Filthy Rich was actually quite the amicable chap and didn't at all mind your presence, even stopping to chat and have a servant bring you lemonade. He had a daughter who was a bit bratty but never really bothered you or interrupted your work ethic but his wife Spoiled was a B-I-T-C-H with a capital "B". You waved, she scoffed. You complimented her on her outfit, she turned her muzzle up at you. You chalked it up to her being a stuck-up trophy wife and left it at that, being in too good a mood to let her rain on your parade. 

You swung by the marketplace for some roses when a certain stalker-rific unicorn bumped into you.

Literally.

"Oof! S-sorry Anon, didn't see you there!"

Judging by how hard Lyra was sniffing your leg, you guessed she did this to get a whiff of Eau de Humain. 

"It's...okay, Lyra. How's it going?"

She finally detached herself from your leg. "It's going pretty good. How are things with Rarity?"

The truth was, considering how obsessed Lyra was with you, you were honestly expecting her to pull a Glenn Close and persist in stalking you until you were hers. Instead, she seemed strangely okay with the fact that you and Rarity were an item. Sure, her love notes continued but there was nothing to suggest that she wasn't genuinely fine with your relationship or that there any signs that she was going to go Play Misty for Me on your new marefriend. You gave her mane a little tousle and she giggled at the contact. Yep, you were both fucked up.

"Pretty great, actually. Tonight's our first official date."

"Ooh, where are you going?"

"Taking her out to a fancy restaurant. I figured she'd enjoy that kind of thing."  

Lyra nodded, "To be fair, just about any mare would. Well, I hope you two have fun!"

With that, she trotted away, stopping to give you a little wave. And that was it. No winking, no displaying herself. Obviously she was still into you given the near-constant bedroom eyes but her behavior bordered on normal. Must remember to investigate further. 

Picking up your bouquet of roses, you entered your house, took a seat on your couch and got to work on what was properly the most important letter you'd ever written thus far. In your previous letters to Princess All-About-That-Bass, you didn't give a shit about things like grammar or sentence structure, which didn't seem to bother the diarch one bit, judging by the fact that she never once brought that up in either her return messages or in your face-to-face meetings. On the whole, she was a pretty chill mare and the only time she showed any kind of frustration with you was in regards to your drinking problem, telling you that the only reason that she wasn't more angry was the fact that she sympathized with your situation, what with you being the only one of your kind in a strange world with no chance of ever leaving or seeing your loved ones again. She limited how much money she sent you every month and actually had Mayor Mare and the rest of the town's business owners monitor your spending habits to ensure that you weren't blowing your allowance on booze. Yeah, it made you feel like a child but you didn't hold it against Celestia as she legitimately had your best interests at heart and saw you as just another Equestrian citizen. 

To get around this, you actually took up several odd jobs and starting using your pay for drinking money, something that Celestia wasn't happy with but did nothing to dissuade. Apparently, since it got you to actually contribute to society rather than mooch off the government and laze around, it wasn't considered that egregious in the princess' eyes so she let it slide. Of course, Her Eternal Downer-ness Princess Looney had some rather choice words about this but it was nothing more than hot air and you ignored her. So after you'd painstakingly crafted the best letter you'd ever worked on, you pulled off the lid to the chest-high brazier in the corner and placed the envelope into the eternally-burning magic green flames. Similar to Spike's flame breath, the letter was whisked away to Canterlot and you patiently awaited Celestia's reply. 

Your letter read thusly:

Dear Princess Celestia, 

I know it's only been two days since I'd sent you my last mandated report about my goings-on in Ponyville, but there was a matter that I wished to speak to you as soon as possible. Now that I actually have a marefriend, one whom that I love immensely, it's my wish to turn my life around and to give Rarity the best that I can possibly give to her. The truth is, back on Earth I was, and please forgive my language, a complete and total asshole. I scrapped by on the bare minimum, refusing to put in the work necessary for a relationship to work, neglecting my girlfriends' wants and needs to focus on my own. Rarity is different. She's done so much for me and now I want to return that kindness, not only because I feel like I have to but because I want to. She deserves so much more than I can give her but I want to try. 

Do you remember back when I was abusing your generosity to get drunk practically every night and day? I'm so sorry about that, Your Highness. I know I said it then but only now do I realize how bad I actually feel about that now. You've been my friend and benefactor for two years now and I've taken you for granted. The reason that I'm bringing this up now is because of the issue that I wished to discuss with you. I hate to ask but I was wondering if you could do me two favors for tonight: could you reserve a table for two for eight o' clock at The Silver Vine and lend me enough bits so that I can show Rarity the best night of her life? 

I know that I'm asking for a lot and that I don't deserve to but it'd mean a lot to me if, just this once, I could treat Rarity like the princess that she is. I love her and I want to show her this. If it means spending the rest of my life in debt to you then I will happily do it if only to see her wonderful smile and the sparkle in her eyes. I'll understand if you refuse my requests and will ask no more favors from you. You're my friend and I won't pressure you into granting me favors whenever convenient for me since having you in my life means more to me than you know.

Your friend and subject,

Anon

Nearby, a wall-mounted clock sharply ticked away as you lingered next to the brazier, your foot tapping to coincide with the aforementioned ticking. You sat still for about five minutes, then switched to pacing. This transitioned into pacing before quickly falling into tossing a tennis ball into the wall. Then it got you thinking into how it was possible for tennis to exist on two completely different worlds with no deviations whatsoever. This spiraled into an entire reflection on the other similarities between Earth and Equestria, such as certain names, devices, locations, languages, et cetera.   

It was absolutely mind-boggling so you gave up before you suffered an aneurysm from thought overload. 

There a pop and a rolled-up scroll bounced out of the brazier and rolled across the floor. You leapt up from your position on the floor and turned to the clock, finding that only an hour had passed and it was more than a reasonable response time given how much shit Celestia had to do on a regular basis. Snatching up the scroll, you briefly inspected the wax seal bearing the royal crest of Princess Celestia herself before tearing the ribbon off and unfurling the sheet of paper.    

Dear Anon,

I must say, you've come quite far since your arrival here. Two years definitely feels much longer than it should, doesn't it? I appreciate the time and effort you'd placed into your previous correspondence. Don't get me wrong, your letters have always been the highlight of my day as your unabashed swearing and rather blunt viewpoint is a refreshing change of pace from the double-talk and mountains of praise that I receive from the nobles here. Nevertheless, it warms my heart to see such dedication placed into your letter, the openness with which you wrote it and words cannot describe the joy that I felt at reading the sincerity in every word. 

Before, I was positively thrilled and quite giddy at the news of yours and Rarity's newfound relationship. Not only does it break the species barrier and prove that love and affection can come from any place but also I am glad that the two of you have found happiness in one another. Faust knows you both needed romance in your lives and I could only keep Princess Cadence at bay for so long before she leapt in and played matchmaker for you. My poor niece can get rather overzealous in her position as Princess of Love but her commitment is rather admirable. To get back on track, I wish you and Miss Rarity all of the happiness in the world and hope that the two of you last.

As to the nature of your two requests, not only do I find them quite reasonable and well within my power but I will also happily grant them to you. Your words were beautifully composed and touched my heart in a way that it has not been in a long time. Please don't ever feel as though you can't come to me for assistance. It's normal for friends to do favors for one another and I know you'd never abuse our friendship for frivolous endeavors. You are nothing like Prince Blueblood and the less said of my nephew the better.

I'd happened upon your letter while on my lunch break and I will have your reservation ready by the time you arrive at The Silver Vine. It will be under your name and I will instruct the owner to have a private booth prepared for you and Miss Rarity. Don't worry about the expenses; everything will be taken care of so please don't fret about costs. I don't wish for you to feel as though you're in my debt so please don't worry about paying me back. Just deliver on your pleas in your letter and I will consider that payment enough.

If you fail then I might just sic Princess Cadence on you after all. Believe me, you don't want that.

Now, if you could find the time to come up and visit me for tea some afternoon, that would be splendid. It's been far too long since our last chat and I need a valid excuse to gorge myself on cake. It seems as though you and I have a problem, don't we? All jokes aside, good luck on your date and I look forward to your next letter.

Your friend,

Celestia

You read and re-read the letter three times and wiped your face. No, you weren't crying and you certainly weren't grinning and laughing like an idiot in a sappy Hallmark movie. To be honest, you were touched by Celestia's overall awesomeness as a friend and not since Rarity had you had the desire to kiss a pony so fiercely. Okay, you were only half-kidding but you seriously had to do something to pay Celestia back for this solid. Tea parties were prissy but if it was for the sake of a dear friend then you supposed that you could stomach it. 

You promptly made your way to Carousel Boutique, being sure to wipe your shoes and removing them before entering. Business wasn't too bad, being steady but not crowded so you took the time to browse the wares. Some silk dress shirts caught your attention and you took time to admire the color and fabric, despite the fact that they were made for a stallion's frame. It didn't matter; Rarity was a damn great seamstress, an opinion that honestly wasn't based on your own personal bias and you didn't mind perusing her creations. You started going through male formal wear when you heard a familiar throat-clear.  

"May I help you, sir?"

You grinned and turned around to find a white unicorn wearing her trademark red glasses.

"Yes, I have a date with my amazing marefriend tonight and I want to look my best."

Rarity snorted at this. "Well, you're already cute so it shouldn't be an issue. Luckily, I have a suit prepared for you." She disappeared behind the front register and returned with a large black bag in her magic aura. "I already happened to have had your measurements on file and crafted you a suit for just an occasion. Though I will admit that I didn't think it'd happen so soon."    

Leaning an arm onto the counter, you shrugged, "I guess it just took the right mare to change that."

Rarity tittered at this and bit her lip. "You still haven't told me where we're going."

You leaned down close to her. "And ruin the surprise? What fun is that?"

"Just a hint?"

"Wear a nice dress. You're going to need it."

Your lips met in a short, sweet kiss. You both drew back with the dopiest grins on your faces. 

"All I can say is that we're heading to Canterlot so be ready to go by six."

"I will," Rarity said with a breathy sigh. "Oh Anon, I can hardly wait!"

"Trust me, babe, it'll be worth the wait."