Dear Goddess-Queen Starlight Glimmer,
Hi, this is Stellar Flare. I don't know if you even remember me or not but I am Sunburst's mom. This has been eating away at me for quite some time but I want to know what the hell happened to him. I know you hated the fact that he had a crush on you and I have a strong feeling that you did something to him. Knowing you, he is probably either in Tartarus or you banished him to an alternate dimension. I think it is high time you released him and let him come home to let me know he is ok.
Look, nopony ever said you had to have any kind of relationship with him, just free him alright.
Wanting Sunburst Freed,
Stellar Flare
Dear Stellar,
Ok, it has been over thirty years since your precious Sunbust or whatever the fuck his name was has been missing and you are just now writing me to bitch and complain? Look, I have much bigger things to worry about than your son having been missing for so long. Normally after such a long period of being missing, a pony would be presumed dead but I will admit, I do know where he is. Tell you what, since I'm a nice pony who cares about just about everypony, I'll free him and send him down to you. Hell I'll even buy his train ticket so that should be more than enough for you to know that I actually give a shit. He should be there in a few days, alright?
Freeing Sunbust,
Goddess-Queen Starlight Glimmer
FOUR DAYS LATER
To a horrible bitch,
You fucking bitch! I can not believe you would do this to my son. When Sunburst got home he showed up as a mare and is demanding that I refer to her as Sunshine. What kind of fucked up magic did you use on him? Look, I want my SON back, not a mare version of him. To make matters worse, he (well she) is acting like a total ditz! Sunburst is inserting the word like into his/her sentences all the time and uses the word totally more in one hour than he ever did in his whole life!
I want my son back! You better come down here and fix this, well that or Sunburst and I will come up and you can fix him there since I know you're probably busy with all your duties. All I can say is that I am not happy right now and trust me, there is no wrath worse than that of an angry mother.
Upset,
Stellar Flare
Stellar,
Look, you bring Sunshine up here and I will restore him IF you will do a little something for me. What I will want you to do is allow me to age regress you to the age of 18 and you can become my royal aid. You will also have a longevity spell cast on you along with a growth spell so you won't have a foal's body compared to me. The duties of the royal aid are to deliver the meals the chefs cook me and my daughters to us, cleaning my half of the castle, dining with us, keeping my daughters company if I am busy with royal duties, bonding with me however I want whenever necessary and giving me massages on demand....which will be at least three times a day! Yes this will require that you move to Canterlot and if you do this, your life will be rather easy. As long as me and my daughters are happy, you'll be happy. Regarding Sunshine, once she has been reverted to Sunbust or whatever, he will be returned to the Crystal Empire to resume his crystalling duties.
Wanting you as an Aid,
Goddess-Queen Starlight Glimmer
Starbitch,
What the hell? You want me to become your concubine and personal servant in exchange for restoring my son? I never once thought you would turn out like this. I know you're a lesbian who hates nearly every stallion except your father but this is extreme. Ok, I'll admit that I do find you hot so I will go through with this but I won't sign on the dotted line until Sunburst is my son again, not my daughter.
I do think it is best though that he returns to the Crystal Empire because I know how much he loved his job and I know the ponies up there did like him. Well we will be up there in a few days, alright?
Ready to Be Your Concubine,
Stellar Flare
Dear Starbitch,
I can't believe what you did to me. You like brought me back but as a mare? I know you didn't want me hitting on you but after you like boiled me away and brought me back, I had no plans on it. To make matters worse, you totally turn my mom into your slave/concubine just to turn me back into a stallion? I thought you were messed up when you introduced all that GlimGlam into my mom's life but now you've like age regressed her to being barely legal and cast a longevity spell on her just so you'll have her for thousands of years?
You know what Starlight, you are like totally fucked up. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised given who your mother is because she'd probably do the same thing. I guess it is good that you're sending me to the Crystal Empire because I totally don't think I could handle being in the same town where you're like going to be bucking my mom non-stop, well that and totally making her wait on you and those step-daughters of yours whenever you don't have her in bed.
You truly are a horrible pony and it makes me wonder if there isn't something that makes Alicorns like incredibly messed up in the head. You're beyond horrible, your sister is equally as bad, Flurry and Cadence are both sluts, your mother is totally a vindictive bitch and I'm sure Luna has her own vices other than just fritters. Like just don't abuse my mom, alright.
Like Totally Upset With You,
Sunburst
Sunbust, Sunshine or Whatever,
Don't worry about your mama, she will be in perfectly good hooves with me. She won't have to worry about another thing again in her life and hey, I cast a longevity spell on her so that should make you feel better. Who knows, maybe if she is good enough in the sack I will ascend her and make her my little princess, the Princess of Keeping Starlight Happy! I would write more but the time has come for me to have fun with my hot little concubine.
Ready to Bang Your Mom,
Goddess-Queen Starlight Glimmer
P.S. Hell, if she is the best of the best, I'll like totally marry her and invite you to the ceremony!
Dear Mom,
I know we haven't exactly got along for quite some time but I thought I'd write you and let you know that I have done something that will at least make you think more highly of me. Well I brought Sunbust back as a mare since Stellar Flare finally decided to bitch about his absence after over thirty years. Well she got all pissy so the two came up here and demanded I make him a stallion again.
Well I did that and sent him to the Crystal Empire BUT that was under the condition that Stellar stay with me and make me happy. Well I cast an age regression spell on her to make her 18 again, I cast a longevity spell on her so she won't turn into an old hag for at least 3,000 years, I made her my maid and she is also my concubine! She will have to put out on demand and give me massages several times a day! Isn't that sweet, I turned Sunbust's mama into my concubine and maid? Yeah he ain't happy but oh well, getting his mother full time is worth having him back in this world, especially since he said he'd never hit on me again. I would write more but my concubine is waiting anxiously for me in my chambers.
Ready to Bang Stellar Flare,
Starlight
Dear Starlight,
In one way I am thrilled and in another way I am disgusted. I am disgusted because you brought back Sunburst and made him a stallion again before sending him off to the Empire. It really makes me wonder about you. I know there is nothing I can do to correct this mistake of yours but at least you got something in return.
I am thrilled though that you have basically made Stellar Flare your property. Seeing that you have a concubine does make me happy but still, if you want to be my favorite again you'll have to do a whole lot more than get one measly concubine. You could always go after Crash's mom, Bright Beam's mom, Luster's mom or Trixie's mom!...hell go after all four of them. Do that and you'll be my favorite again, alright?
Love,
Mom