Chapter 5
First Steps
The spiraling trail to the bottom of the mesa was mildly treacherous. Two hundred years ago it was probably just wide enough for one pony at a time, but two hundred years of erosion had not been kind. I made the mistake of putting some weight on the safety railing and I had the opportunity to watch as it tumbled into oblivion. Trauma had the worst of it, even hugging the side of the mesa he barely fit on the path.
Still, all things considered, the hike down had been pretty uneventful. When we got to the bottom we faced a rather glaring issue. There was nothing there. With the exception of the mesas in the distance there were no distinguishing features to give us any hints as to where we should go.
Imp was the first to point this out. “I don’t know about you guys, but I didn’t see any towns or roads or anything. Where do we go now?”
I brought up my EFS and looked at my compass. Butters pipbuck tag pointed directly away from the mesa. “We still have a direction,” I pointed in the direction of the tag, “We might as well follow it.”
We started walking. And walking. And still more walking. There wasn’t a single sign of life anywhere. Every now and then we saw some carbonized twigs growing out of the ground that might have been cactuses at some point.
The sky was starting to grow dark by then. We couldn’t see the sun, but our pipbuck clocks told us that it was late afternoon. We decided to stop for the night. During Ranger training we’d been taught how to start a fire, but none of the sparse plant life looked like it was capable of burning. So without the warmth of a fire we just spent the night shivering and taking turns keeping watch. I took first watch and had the pleasure of watching the sky go completely dark. I spent a few hours flipping through my pipbucks menus and staring at the clouds. When my shift ended I woke up Pin for hers and went to sleep.
I had to hand it to the wasteland, if it was nothing else, it was dull.
I woke up a few hours later. The sky had brightened enough that we could see what we were doing. After we ate some of our rations we were on our way again.
I won’t bore you with the details of our thrilling adventures in even more walking, but sometime around midday we finally saw something on the horizon. On the horizon we saw what could have been the suggestion of buildings. They weren’t on the path to the tag, but we all agreed that it was worth checking out.
A few more hours walking and we found ourselves in the middle of a ghost town. There were only a handful of wooden buildings, all leaning to one side like they’d been hit by a massive wind. There was a barn off to one side, and behind it a grove of dead trees with black leaves.
We found a long faded sign knocked onto its back. On it were the words, ‘WELCOME TO DODGE JUNCTION! HOME O…” The rest was illegible. My pipbuck confirmed the name of the town with an alert message.
As a team we went from building to building, looking for any signs of recent activity. The first building was a sheriff’s office with a couple desks, some holding cells, and a gun cabinet that had long since been looted. The next building was a general store. We found some canned food that might still be good. All the other building didn’t have anything apparently useful. The only even mildly interesting thing was a giant machine in the barn that had a pony sized hamster wheel attached.
Just outside of town there was another building, this one collapsed, with a much smaller shack next to it. We weren’t going to find anything in the collapsed house, but we did find something near it. Train tracks, and on them sitting like a blessing from the goddess herself was a pump cart. All we had to do was use it and we’d be blazing across…
BLAM
I wasn’t sure what hit me in the back, but it felt like Celestia had come down from the heavens and smashed my spine with a mallet. I fell flat on my face. The door to the shack burst open a purple unicorn mare burst out of the shack floating a shotgun, “FREEZE! Step away from the… from the… Clip? Is that you?”
I rolled over and yelled at her, “You shot me! In the back!”
She raised her shotgun again, “Who’re you? And why’re you wearing Clips jacket?”
She looked like she was going to shoot me again until she noticed my three friends pointing assorted weaponry at her. She dropped her gun and backed away. I got back up, “What do you mean his jacket? How do you know Clip?”
She started stammering, “I-I-I met him a f-few months ago. Him and three others came to N-N-New Appleloosa out of the desert. Told us they were from a S-Stable and a bunch of other stuff and please don’t kill me.”
I looked back at my team and told them to put their weapons away. That calmed my ambusher a little. I turned back to her, “When was the last time you saw him?”
“Not for a while, but I’ve been out scavenging for the past few weeks. Look, I’m sorry I shot you, but I thought you were gonna steal my cart. I can make it up to you. I’ll give you a ride, I’m heading back to town now.”
“Alright, alright, just calm down. What’s your name?”
“Plum, Plum Jelly.”
“Nice to meet you Plum, you can call me Boss.”
“Boss?”
“If you prefer you can call me Sarge or sir or mister…”
“So it’s not your name?”
“Nope.”
“Are you gonna tell me your name?”
“Nope.”
“Fair enough,” She grabbed a stuffed rucksack out of the shack, “Well, let’s load up.”
We climbed onto the cart and were on our way. Plum and Pin were first on the handles. I laid on my stomach while Trauma took a look at my back.
I definitely felt like I’d been shot in the back, “So, will I live doc?”
He looked my back over, “You’re fine. You’ll bruise.”
“Bruise? I got shot!”
“Coat’s thick. Door’s thicker. “
I’d nearly forgotten that Plum had shot through a door, “Oh, right.”
I rolled over and was treated to a sharp pain that slowly ebbed away. I watched the sky move by at a slow and steady pace. The wheels and mechanical bits and pieces squeaked with each cycle of the handle.
Imp started to get restless. She got up and offered to take Pin’s place at the handle.
Plum looked at the diminutive filly, “Are you sure about that?”
Everyone looked at Plum, me and Pin smirked at one another. Imp grabbed the handle and said, “Hold on.”
Everyone but Plum grabbed some sort of hand hold, Plum continued to pump the handle. Imp pumped the handle faster and faster. The squeak from the wheels became a constant squeal.
I couldn’t tell how fast we were moving, but the wind was blasting my mane back and I could barely keep my eyes open. Plum, bless her heart, tried her best to hold on to the handle. She wasn’t pumping it anymore, but rather was being shaken by it. She screamed, her voice fluctuating with each up and down movement, “SToOoOoOoOoP!”
Slowly Imp eased down to normal equine levels and eventually stopped altogether. Plum tried to keep herself upright by holding onto the handle. She failed, collapsed, crawled over to the edge, and vomited.
She looked over her shoulder at Imp, “What are you?” She got an odd look on her face and vomited over the edge again.
Imp looked down at her and said, “Consider it me getting even for you shooting my friend.”
“I’m already giving you a ride!”
“You could have killed him! I didn’t think we were quite square. And now, we are. I’d say sorry, but that would defeat the purpose of getting even.”
“Well, at the very least could you do that again, minus the vengeance?”
Imp thought about it for a moment, “Sure, why not.”
Imp started pumping the handle again, though at a much more reasonable speed. We were going a lot faster than we had earlier.
Plum laid back on her haunches, “You know, I could get used to this.”
“Don’t get used to it,” Imp put on her best sad puppy face, “What will the ponies in Appleloosa think of you when they see you’ve got a foal doing your work.”
“Last time I checked a foal couldn’t do whatever the hell that was. Speaking of, what the fuck was that?”
Imp just grinned, “A technician never reveals her secrets.”
The rest of the ride was enjoyed in silence. Imp only broke a sweat because it was so damned hot out.
In less than an hour I could see something new on the horizon. As we got closer I saw that it looked like a train accident. I asked Plum when it’d happened and she replied by laughing.
The closer we got the more details I saw. If it was an accident then it was an odd one; some of the boxes were stacked very neatly on top of one another. There was also a ring of cars forming a wall around the majority of it. There were also ponies, quite a few of them. Some of them were on the wall and appeared to be armed.
Plum didn’t appear to be alarmed; in fact she seemed rather relieved by the sight. And none of the ponies on the wall seemed unduly concerned by us. Imp gave the handle one last shove and we drifted into the settlement. We came to a stop in the middle of a train yard filled with flatbeds in various stages of loading and unloading.
I marveled at what I was seeing. I mean, the whole point of the Ranger Program was to see if there was anypony out here; survivors and the like. This bordered on civilization.
I rolled off the cart and onto my feet. I stretched and felt a joint or two pop. Imp hopped off and windmilled her forelegs. I turned back to Plum to thank her for giving us a ride, but before I could…
CLACK CLACK
“Good afternoon. Please leave. I don’t appreciate people who try to kill my friends.” The voice was that of an authoritative and yet kindly stallion.
I did my best not to move. I looked over to Pin. She wasn’t moving either, “Does he look like he’s going to shoot me.”
She spoke softly, “Not immediately, but he does have a gun pointed at you. So, maybe.”
Without moving I tried to talk to the buck behind me, “I don’t know what you think is going on, but as you can see Plum is fine.”
“I’m not talking Ms. Jelly. Now if you and your friends would kindly leave without causing a fuss this won’t become an incident.”
“If you don’t think we tried to kill Plum, then who?”
“You know.”
“I really can’t say that I do.”
“Full Clip told us that when they tried to go home after his wife died you and your lot tried to kill him and his friends. They escaped, came here, and left after they told us that you’d be chasing them. I must say that it took you long enough. Now, leave.”
“Mister… uh…”
“Railright”
“Mister Railright, I don’t understand what’s going on, but we’re not here to kill Clip. I found a note from him that he needed help. I’d show you the note, but I left it in our Stable.”
He considered that for a moment, “Why should I believe you?”
“Um…”
“Good enough for me.”
CLICK
I wasn’t dead so I chanced turning around. What I found was a black and grey stallion with a lever action shotgun on a battle saddle.
I couldn’t help but ask the obvious question, “Wait, what?”
He smirked, “If you were lying you would have had an excuse lined up.”
“Oh.”
“I’d had a feeling something was wrong with Clip last he was in town. The three of them hid it well, but they were more nervous than an herbivore at a carnivore convention.”
“I’m glad you noticed. I’m not really in the mood to get shot again.”
“Again? How long have you been out of your Stable?”
“Maybe a little over a day.”
“How’d you get shot already?”
I didn’t say a word and just looked over at Plum as she rummaged through her pack. She noticed the two of us looking at her, “How many times can I say sorry?”
I turned back to Railright, “Perhaps we should properly introduce ourselves. You can call me Boss. If not that then Sergeant or Sarge. Stable 33 Ranger team leader. The big one is Trauma Bandage, the little one is Impact Crater, and the middle one is Pin Point.”
“I’m Railright. Mayor, sheriff, and whatever else New Appleloosa needs me to be. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Welcome to New Appleloosa.”
“Thank you. Do you mind if I ask why ‘New’ Appleloosa?”
“Because it’s not the old one. How about I give you the brass bit tour.”
He showed us around town. There was the bar, a few vendors, and our next destination. Railright suggested that we stop by New Appleloosa’s general store so we could pick up a copy of The Wasteland Survival Guide. He told us that this guide would have all the information we’d need to survive.
The store was called Absolutely Everything and apparently they do deliveries. The building appeared to be three boxcars welded together. We walked through the door and found that they did indeed have everything; weapons, ammo, food, a body.
Behind the counter there appeared to be the desiccated and nearly hairless corpse of a pegasi mare. The body was sitting in a chair, its head lolled over the back, mouth open and tongue hanging out. It also had a small chalkboard hanging round its neck. There was something written on the board.
BE BACK SOON
That was perverse. Somepony had killed this pegasus and left a note promising more. I signaled my team to stay by the door. I moved around the counter, keeping my eyes on a swivel in case whoever had done this was already back. I looked at the body more closely; I couldn’t see anything from there. I placed my hoof on the chair and tried to swivel the chair so I could get a better look.
That’s when the corpse opened its eyes.
The body jumped out of the chair and started flapping its deformed wings. It flew around the room banging into the walls and ceiling. Everyone was screaming; I was screaming, Imp and Amber were screaming, Pin was screaming, the corpse was screaming, I think even Trauma screamed a little.
The thing landed in a heap behind the counter. I backed away from it. The thing got to its feet and looked at me. At least I think it was looking at me; its eyes were constantly rolling and pointing in different directions. It grabbed the chalk board around its neck and erased the words. It took a piece of chalk and wrote something else, “You can’t have it back. I found it fair and square!”
Great. The dead body was alive AND insane. I tried to talk to it, “What are you? What are you… writing about?”
It wrote something else, “Aren’t you Rangers?”
“Well yeah, but…”
“THEN GET OUT!”
“Why?”
“Because you’re trying to steal my suit!”
“Suit? What suit?”
“The armor suit I found!”
The thing was pointing it’s board at me, so my team was only getting my half of the conversation.
Pin spoke up first, “Boss, what’s going on?”
I looked over at my team, they were all pretty scared, “I think it thinks we’re somepony else.”
The thing wrote again, “I’m not an it! I’m Ditzy Doo! And this is MY shop!”
“Wait this is your shop? You’re Ditzy?”
“That’s what I wrote!”
Imp spoke up this time, “What suit?”
The thing, Ditzy Doo, wrote and showed us all the board this time, “A set of your armor.”
My turn, “We don’t have any armor.”
Ditzy looked confused, “But you said you’re Steel Rangers. Of course you have armor.”
“We’re not Steel Ranger.”
“Then why do you have gears on your coat?”
“We’re just Rangers, from Stable 33. Didn’t you meet Clip and his team? Everypony else seems to have.”
Understanding filled her eyes, and then embarrassment, “Oopsie.”
***
After some apologies and introductions we learned that Ditzy had recently found an intact suit of Steel Ranger armor. Imp was very interested, but she would have to wait. I told Ditzy that we were there for a copy of the Wasteland Survival Guide. She pointed to a sign that said that we could get a copy upon request with a purchase. I told her we didn’t have any money. She jumped over the counter, walked around behind me, and started rummaging through my saddle bags. I started to protest, but before I could she pulled a can of Cram out and went behind the counter. She placed the can on a counter and grabbed a nearly identical can out and placed it in front of me. I was confused, but she gestured for me to take it. I put the can in my bag and Ditzy pointed at the sign. I figured she wanted me to ask for the book. I did so and she produced a white book with black lettering and an equine skull on the cover.
Ditzy flipped the cover open and turned a few pages. The heading said ‘The Basics’. I read it aloud, “If you’re reading this then you’ve either been hit by lightning and forgotten everything, bucked upside the head and forgot everything, born yesterday and don’t know anything, or fresh out of a Stable. Whatever the case this section of the Wasteland Survival guide will tell you the bare essentials of what you need to know. First and foremost, don’t be afraid to shoot somepony. While you shouldn’t shoot everypony you have to keep in mind that there are ponies out there that will shoot you for what you have. Second, some vendors still accept bits as currency but most, if not all, prefer bottle caps. Yes bottle caps, it just sort of worked out that way. Third, beware anywhere that doesn’t look looted. It’s been two hundred years since the bombs dropped, if it hasn’t been looted yet that means there’s something dangerous keeping it that way.”
Once I finished the passage Ditzy flipped the book closed and pushed it across the counter. I took it and put it in my saddlebags. The… thing smiled at us. I had to ask what she was.
She took her chalkboard and wrote, “I’m a ghoul. Ghouls are ponies that have been exposed to too much radiation. There’s more info in the book.”
“I’ll take a look at it later. Can I ask you one more thing?”
“Anything.”
I brought up my EFS and scanned the compass for Butters tag. I pointed at one of the walls, “What’s in that direction?”
The ghoul pony tapped her chin, “Lotsa stuff. There’s Shattered Hoof, Fillydelphia, Manehattan. It’s all in the book. But if you’re going that way you’re gonna need lotsa stuff.”
“What sorta stuff?”
“Food, ammo, armor. It’s dangerous in that direction. I got all that stuff, I can even armor your barding. But you’re gonna need caps to pay for all of it.”
“Where can we get caps?”
“You can find them all over. But if you need a lot you’re gonna have to do some jobs on the bounty board.”
“Bounty board? Like, killing ponies?”
“No no no. Ponies all over town have jobs they need done. And if they can’t do it themselves they post it on the board. If someone does it, they get paid the bounty.”
“Oh, that’s okay then. Where’s the board?”
Ditzy flew over the counter and pointed a hoof out the window. I looked out and right across the road there was a wooden board with scraps of paper tacked to it.
The wall-eyed ghoul pony was grinning from ear to ear. “Thanks Ditzy. You’ve been really helpful.”
She landed and brought out the board again, “No problem! Come back any time.”
Imp trotted up to the ghoul, “Hey miss ghoul. Before we go, can I look at the Steel Ranger armor?”
“Sure, I keep it in the back.”
The ghoul floated over the counter and through a door to the back. Imp followed her. I had to admit I was interested too. I followed Imp, and Pin and Trauma followed me.
The back room was just storage. Crates and shelves where stacked high with random bits and bobs. Ditzy shoved some boxes out of the way. And there it was, gleaming like a steel monument to earth pony ingenuity. The armor looked magnificently complicated. The muzzle had rubber hoses coming out the sides, a spot lamp was attached to the head near the right ear, and armor plating covering everything from nose to tail. For being two hundred years old it was in impressive condition.
Imp was gawking. She circled around the suit taking in every detail, “I can’t believe you have one of these! How much?”
I scowled at her, “How much? Imp, I realize it’s cool and what not, but why would you need it? You’ve already got the exo.”
She gave me a look that suggested that the answer was obvious, “Mostly because I need the parts. The exo is medical equipment, that armor is military grade. If I can get the spell matrix out of it I could double, maybe even triple, the output easily. Not only that, but I could intall the repair talisman and I’d never have to fix the exo again. I can think of a dozen things I could do with what’s left over. I could take the rebreather out and you’d be able to breathe underwater. Ditzy could use the armor plating and put it in our barding.”
I looked back at the armor with renewed interest. That would be really helpful. I looked to Ditzy, “How much?”
She took her board and wrote, “2500 caps.”
“Is that a lot, cause that sounds like a lot.”
“It’s a lot.”
“Darn. Maybe we should take a look at that board. Thanks again Ditzy, hopefully we’ll be back soon.”
“Not a problem. Seeya soon!”
We left Ditzy as she shifted the boxes back into place. We stepped back into the streets. Imp was lost in thought, probably thinking about what she’d do with the armor when we got it.
We walked over to the board. There were a lot of job posted not only on the front of the board but on the back as well. I looked to my team and told them all to look for jobs. Pin and I took one side, Trauma and Imp took the other.
I started scanning the bits of paper. None of the ones I saw paid nearly enough, or just sounded ridiculous. “I’m not sure, but I think this one says that they’ll pay fifty thousand caps for… evidence of moon ponies.”
Imp giggled, “That’s nothing. This one’s a bounty for the goddesses.”
Pin hopped around, “Let me see that. Ha-ha, they pay extra for their horns.”
“Found one,” Trauma grumbled. I came around and looked at where he was pointing.
STANDING BOUNTY
MAGICAL TALISMANS
PRICES NEGOTIABLE
SEE RAILRIGHT FOR DETAILS
This one seemed good, and if I understood it right then ‘Standing Bounty’ meant that he’d pay for any talismans we brought in. “This one seems promising. Let’s go see Railright.”
The mayor of New Appleloosa was sitting in a rocking chair in front of the sheriff’s office. “Howdy. I could hear you ‘meeting’ Ditzy all the way over here.”
Pin stepped up, “Yeah, thanks for the warning. It would have been nice to know there was such a thing as zombie ponies.”
“Now where would the fun have been in that?”
Pin narrowed her eyes. “Well played.”
I cleared my throat. “Actually we came to ask about your standing bounty on talismans.”
“Oh, that? You’re the first to ask in a while. I need to get a new sign.”
“Does that mean the jobs closed?”
“Nope. Actually it’s just the opposite. I need to add some jobs.”
“Really? Well, we need to get enough caps to buy supplies for our journey.”
“If you need’em quick I’ve got one idea that will work out well, but it’ll be pretty dangerous.”
“We’ll take it. What is it?”
“A ways away from here there’s a building. Before the war it was a Ministry of Technology Research and Development hub. They’ll have all sorts of talismans that I’ll happily buy from you. But what I really want are the plans for a machine. A digging machine. Apparently they wanted to use it to dig behind zebra lines. I want modify the designs so we can use it to dig wells. If it works we can dig our own well, and we could rent it out in exchange for caps.”
“Sounds good. What are you paying?”
“Thousand caps for the plans, and depending on what you find we’ll discuss prices when you get back.”
“Just one thing. Something I read in the guide. It said that if a place like that isn’t looted already then it’s because there’s something dangerous there.”
“I don’t know about it being dangerous, but I think it’s gone unlooted this long because of ghost stories.”
“Ghost stories?”
“You know, ‘Ponies go in and they don’t come out’, woooooo,” he waved his hands around. He obviously didn’t give the story any credence. “It’s probably security robots or some raider gang squatting.”
“Raider gang?”
He gave and exasperated sigh that sounded suspiciously like ‘Stable Ponies’. “Raiders are ponies that do bad things for bad reasons. You’ll know them when you see them.”
“How’s that?”
“They’ll probably be trying to shoot you and gnaw on your face.”
“That’s… different.”
“If you’re luck that’s all they do, unless you shoot’em first.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. So where is this place?”
“Here let me see your pipbuck.”
I offered him my leg. He fiddled with some nobs and buttons and a new waypoint came up on my EFS.
“Thanks.”
“It’ll be about a day’s trot. I’d imagine you packed enough provisions for that.”
“Sure,” I looked at the skies, it was getting dark again, “Don’t suppose there’s a place we can sleep tonight.”
“Course there is; the bar’s got some rooms. Just tell Apple that I said you could stay the night. He’ll say something, and you need to say ‘Yes he did’ and he’ll give you a key.”
“Oookaaayy. Thanks, we’ll leave in the morning.”
We left Railright in his chair and went to the bar. We pushed our way through the swinging door. There were a few ponies in various stages of inebriation and a unicorn stallion behind the bar.
I walked up to the bar and got up on a stool. The barpony came over and asked, “What can I get you?”
“Railright said we could stay here for the night.”
He glared at me, “Horseshit, no he didn’t, get lost.”
“Uhhh, yes he did?”
The barpony smiled and reached under the bar. He threw a key to me. “I love Railrights password thing, the looks I get from ponies are priceless. There you go, should be enough beds for the four of you. It’s up the stairs and second from the end.”
I took the key and we went upstairs. We unlocked the door and went in. It wasn’t much, there were beds and it was a room. We could sleep there. We all removed our weapons and barding. I shucked my stuff at the foot of my bed and laid down.
Our first day outside, sleeping under the sky, getting shot, discovering the survival of civilization, meeting a zombie. I’d call that a pretty full day.
Now all I wanted was sleep. So I did.
***
Level Up:
New Perk- Comprehension- You have always been a good reader, but the wasteland has forced you to read a little more carefully. You gain extra skill points from reading books.