//------------------------------// // The Customer Is Always Right! // Story: I Couldn't Become Nightmare Moon, So I Got A New Job! // by Ultimus Pendragon //------------------------------// ''Curse you!'' Nightmare Moon, called out, stomping her hooves in retaliation. Twilight Sparkle and her friends with The Elements Of Harmony banded together to quell her rule of Equestria for all time. ''Ahhhhhhh!'' the feeling of the Elements purging her of her dark magic brought her pain and assaulted her mind until it was over. ''I will have my revenge!~'' Or so she thought. After purging the darkness from her heart and the plans of the eternal night from her mind, she came back to her senses; she reverted back to Princess Luna, the small, afraid, and forgotten Princess in charge of bringing the moon up and monitoring the dreams of ponies. And she hated it. Everything! Her power of the dark magic, the secrets that were whispered in her ear when she embraced the darkness. . .the feeling of being the most supreme being in the known galaxy. All gone. All of her effort to become the greatest magic user ever was thwarted so easily. She should have been made, should have wanted her revenge, to make them suffer, to go into every corner of every world in every possible imagination, and make the tables turn and reverse this. But no matter what conclusion she came to, it would be for naught. Now, here she is; powerless, emotionless, and tired. With nothing to show for it, Princess Luna was without. The golden age of the two sisters soon came to an end. Miniature Menagerie, Canterlot. ''Another good purchase,'' Spike stretched his arms and relaxed as he finished another sale today. That would make his 12th for the day. Being at Miniature Menagerie is certainly a different experience than most stores. The entire vibe of the store is vastly more welcoming from others that distinguished the products of the store from the competition. With the change of times since Princess Luna being stripped of her power as Nightmare Moon and the collapse of the two sisters' court, a brand new age of innovation was in full swing. Twilight Sparkle and her friends were hailed as heroes for saving Equestria from the eternal night and given the highest of praise and reward. Except for Spike. He was forced to take matters into his own claws and support himself. Scouring job after job after job that didn't turn him down finally led him to Miniature Menagerie, on recommendation from Twilight, a small way to thank the drake for what he helped the pair accomplish in more of a reserved sense. The owner, a one Moon Dancer was happy to take Spike underneath her proverbial wing for employment; that and she had 2 spots to fill, and nopony really reached out beside the staff she already has. That was close to 3 years ago, and neither parties have regretted the choice. At first, Spike struggled with the bare basics manning the storefront; from stumbling over his words all the way to accidentally setting an unlit stove on fire. That was a day Moon Dancer did not let him live down. However, with time and corrective training, Spike soon became a crucial part of the store's integrity. After selling a brand new dining room set to Cheerilee, he walked back over to his counter, getting settled on his little stool that was made for the drake to peer over the top. There were plenty of times where ponies would ask for assistance and be greeted by just a voice that scared the living daylights out of anypony. ''So, you feel like taking your lunch break a little early?'' Pinkie Pie asked, trotting over from a nearby backroom, adjusting her uniform. She always commented on how they look like penguins with black and white vests and gloves. ''I already ate all of my cookies so that should keep me good for a few hours.'' ''Nah. I'm kinda in the zone, so I can just wait until we get close to closing,'' Spike said, then looked at his friend. ''How come you're the only pony who chose to live a normal life after what you guys did?'' Pinkie snorted and put a hoof around the drake. ''Because being all flashy and super-duper important is really boring. I mean, yea I could have done something more interesting, but it would be no fun at the end of the day; making ponies smile and laugh is something I can deal with for years to come,'' Pinkie smiled, pulling up a stool alongside her friend to observe the outside for a time. It was mostly slow today after 1 to 2 in the afternoon, so the next rush they would possibly get would be in 3 hours, tops. ''And when I found out you were working here, I just had to come along and give you a hoof.'' That made sense, if only a bit. He always wondered what would happen if everypony just stayed to what they were doing before Nightmare Moon was taken down. Applejack runs one of the biggest factories for distribution for the Apple family, Rainbow Dash is the 2nd in command for The Wonderbolts, Fluttershy is traveling around Equestria locating endangered species and cataloging them. And, of course, Rarity is the top designer for all the bigwigs in Canterlot, Los Pegasus, etc. And Twilight. . . Admittedly, after all, that happened, he would have thought that Twilight would be the one to stay mostly to her studies in Ponyvile, but with the winds of fate, off she went in search of answers. To what questions, he only could have guessed, but nonetheless, he at some point or another thought about his friends and how much he missed them. He was glad he had Pinkie Pie with him, or things may just drive him crazy. He also occasionally thought about Luna and Celestia, how they just seemed to disappear from the face of Equestria after all was said and done. Luna, he could understand, but Celestia just seemed to appear like she never existed. And in the midst of the fall of the two sisters, a change of authority was needed. After time passed, The Equestrian Council was formed from the shadows of the two sisters. With the implementation of them, the law of the land changed soon. Most of the common folk thought next to nothing to it since the Equestrian Council soon outperformed what the pair could do by any stretch of the imagination. And within the next few days, it would be the anniversary of when Twilight and her friends ended up freeing Princess Luna. ''Welcome to Miniature Menagerie, where we have anything you may need!'' Spike cheerily sounded off, the saying becoming second nature to him. Pinkie Pie trotted around and smiled at the guest who walked in with a black cloak over their head, a tense gait in their walk. ''How can we help you?'' The figure walked in a straight line, tracking in water from the small downpour outside, the pair becoming curious as to why they did not respond. A few moments later, they stopped and rummaged around in their cloak before producing a piece of paper and laying it on the table. ''Is the manager present?'' the figure asked, the voice sounding familiar to Spike. ''Can I ask why?'' Spike asked, curious. ''Maybe I can help you find whatever it is that you're looking for?'' ''I need a manager!'' the figure yelled back, shocking the pair. ''That is unless you are the one that has the authority to give me money.'' ''Money?'' Pinkie asked. Why would they need that? ''PSSST! Spike!'' Pinkie whispered. ''Are we getting robbed?'' ''She can hear you, you know,'' Spike replied, extending a claw to the figure in front of them. But she did have a point; were they? ''Wait. That came out wrong,'' the figure cursed themselves in silence. ''I mean to say, you will give me money for tormenting the poor souls that are sure to come through here, seeking penance!'' . . . Wait, that wasn't right either. ''You sure you want to see our manager?'' Spike asked, frowning. ''Yes.'' ''At this store?'' ''Yes.'' ''Are you sure you didn't mean to go down the street to Death Hall? They do what you're talking about.'' Pinkie only said to the surprise of the pony in question. ''They really do that?'' ''More or less,'' Spike replied, waving a claw back and forth, still wondering what exactly this individual wanted. ''And are you still sure this is the store that you want?'' ''Y-Yes, produce the manager of this establishment so I rain suffering upon the masses!'' Pinkie only smiled nervously and still wondered who it was that was speaking to them. . . . Spike slowly proceeded to look at the paper that was brought in, to which it was a resume. When he looked to see who it was, the realization slowly began to sink in of who it was. ''Princess Luna. . .'' Spike breathed out, the figure tensing and taking a small step back. ''You're alive?'' ''No, you must have me confused with some other Alicorn. I am only known as Loonaa.'' Loonaa took off her hood to show the princess of the night, indeed. But as to why she took her name and butchered it up was something only he knew that she knew, and probably wouldn't tell the pair anytime soon. ''I will allow you to produce the head mare of this establishment so I may bring light into this bleak existence of yours.'' Spike signaled for his friend to come over as 'Luna' began to go on a tirade. ''Just go get Moon Dancer, I'll keep her busy.'' ''Oh, yes, yes!'' Moon Dancer cheered happily, as Spike and Pinkie Pie sat in the back room with Luna. ''I hope it wasn't too hard for you to find the store.'' Luna shook her head no and began to tell the group the tale of what happened, or she would have if not for Spike and Pinkie wondering what happened to her and her sister following the collapse. And something a teeny bit important. ''Luna wants a job to work here?'' ''Yep, it's a favor that she wanted to cash in from her helping me get over my nightmares,'' Moon Dancer blushed a tad, clearing her throat. ''I never thought she would want this as repayment, but I am more than happy to provide Princess Luna-'' Moon Dancer was just cut off by the pony in question. ''-It's just Luna. Celestia and I have lost our sovereignty, and therefore are nothing more than common lower to middle-class ponies. N-Not that there's nothing wrong with that!'' Luna hurriedly said, grumbling to herself. Celestia told her to work on her talking skills, and so far; that has flopped. ''But where have you been all this time? We thought something bad happened to you.'' Pinkie walked over with a tray of some water for everyone. Luna sighed and resolved to use her magic to pull her hood back over her face, lightly marred with small scars and darker spots on her. From the moment she walked in, both knew something was off. The way she walked was tense, the cloak she wore was torn and had seen better days, and upon being closer to her, the pair both understood, or rather; smelled that Luna was not in the best of hygienic conditions. ''I would not talk about it.'' The trio of workers looked at each other for a moment before shrugging and Moon Dancer continued her spiel. ''Anyways, Luna here is in need of employment, and since she came to me in her hour of need, I already took the liberty of securing her own uniform and getting the beginning part of her paperwork started.'' Spike looked confused. Who would train her? ''Are you sure that you're able to work in this kind of environment? We don't bring in a whole lot of business, and what we do sell often needs a little bit of finesse when dealing with the upper crust, or snobs of Canterlot and beyond,'' Spike informed the princess, now common pony as she proudly stuck out her chest and assured the drake that the job would be done to the best of her ability. While Spike was raised on a solid bedrock of not judging others unless he wanted the same, but even he knew; Luna may not be cut from the same cloth as most ponies in this day and age due to her time on the moon, and having to reacclimate to being around others. He had so many questions, Pinkie probably not as many. And while help was certainly needed, this request came at the last second. ''So, you want Pinkie to train her, right?'' Spike asked, hoping to deflect from having to do any more things for the day. ''I will leave that to you, Spike. I want you to take her through the ropes for the next few days and see how she handles it.'' Moon Dancer said, looking at the drake and smiling. Darn it. ''Ugh. Fine. Where do I start first?'' Spike knew he would grow to regret this. Especially by the next question that Luna had asked. ''So at what point will we terrorize the customers?'' ''No, no, Luna. I told you in my letter that we're not doing that. If you wanted to do that, you should have gone-'' ''-To Death Hall, yes, yes. But are we doing that here at all?'' Pinkie and Spike looked at each other and wondered how woundly tight her head was. A few hours passed since Luna was brought into the fray, and with Moon Dancer providing him and Luna with the handbook about the store and her uniform, and as Spike figured, the first few hours of doing stuff was not at all like the drake thought; it was worse. Thump! Thump! Thump! For the past 20 minutes, Luna used her magic to bounce a ball against the nearby wall. ''I'm bored.'' ''Then find something to do,'' Spike replied, as he organized the various different almanacs and atlas. He wished he didn't have to do this kind of stuff, but Moon Dancer was his boss, and if he wanted to get paid, he would have to train Princess Luna in the art of customer service. Thump! Thump! Thump! ''Luna.'' Spike harshly said, locking eyes with her as she laid over the counter, her forehooves laying on either side of her head. Her unimpressed eyes reflected back to him as she stopped bouncing her ball for a second. ''Do. Something.'' ''I am,'' Luna replied, continuing her ball throwing. Oh, why couldn't Pinkie have stayed a little longer to help him out? ''Something productive.'' ''This is.'' ''And I'm the king of dragons, but we all can hope. But we should help you rehearse your lines for when customers come in,'' Spike cracked his knuckles and walked over to the front desk. ''And stop slouching like that, you'll hurt your back.'' ''I feel no pain.'' Luna simply replied. ''Down the line, if you keep doing it,'' Spike chimed back, reaching a claw underneath the desk and pulling out his clipboard with all the points Moon Dancer wanted her to be fluent in; greetings, knowing where everything is, tracking and deliveries that were sent into the store, to ring up customers, the works. And from all indications, it appeared that she had the capacity to perform. Until she couldn't. ''All right, let's take it from the top,'' Spike said, bringing the attention of Luna to him. ''Assume that I am a customer that just walked in, and take it from there.'' ''Too easy,'' Luna thought. ''Excuse me, can I get some help?'' Spike asked as he walked towards Luna, hoping that. . . ''What does thou require from us, mortal?!'' She would stop talking in the old Canterlot Royal Voice, for one. ''I'm in the market for some new furniture.'' Spike said, crossing a line on top of the word 'Greetings'. ''I need to buy an Ottoman.'' Luna trotted over to Spike, wrapping a hoof around his neck, pointing to one of the corners in the back of the store, but then paused at what he said. ''What is an Ottoman?'' ''Footrest,'' Spike said, taking her hoof off his neck. ''Focus.'' ''The Ottomans are towards the back of the store, little one! Peruse them at your leisure, but do not look around for long!'' Luna bellowed, walking back to her desk and sitting down, Spike folding his arms. ''What? Did I do something wrong?'' Spike groaned and walked over to the aisle in question. ''Can I get some help over here, please?'' ''I was told to help, according to the book, and that I did.'' Luna simply said, smiling as she was sure she aced that one. ''It's not just pointing them in the right direction; you also have to help them if they need a second opinion, or if they don't want something anymore. Did you look over that like I told you?'' Luna blushed, brushing off his question and trotting to where he was. ''Do you wish to trade for an Ottoman, mortal?'' ''Customer. And sure, why not? But it's buy; we're past bartering.'' Spike said, thinking for a moment. ''Well, not here anyways. We accept bits.'' ''Noted,'' Luna said, with a watchful eye. ''What can you tell about these different kinda ones?'' Spike looked up to Luna to see her perk up and poke around a few of the Ottomans and look at them curiously before speaking. ''U-Uh. . .they are footrests. And they are comfortable and nice-looking?'' Luna said, looking very, very confused. ''That's a start. But what is the differences between them?'' ''Some are circles, and some are like tables.'' ''And?'' ''Ugh, Luna, come on. This is the 4th time we went over this,'' Spike dropped his clipboard, walking over to the alicorn who was in training. ''What about being nice to the customers is so hard? And why do you keep talking in 3rd person like I'm a peasant?'' Luna blushed and frowned when Spike gave her a look of no-nonsense. ''I must really be doing bad if we have to repeat this process.'' Spike grimaced and shook his head. He didn't want to admit it, but Luna was not doing so good in the ways of service. ''Was. I still hold domination of the Moon, but I am a princess no more.'' Luna said, then paused wondering if she would divulge the information that she hoped she would not have to share with anypony but her sister. The entire fiasco from years ago honestly was something that irritated her the more she thought about it. But she knew as well as the next pony that others were naturally curious of the real breakdown of Nightmare Moon. They would need- ''-Excuse me, I have need of your best waste receptacle!'' a voice called out behind the pair, looking to see Trixie standing behind the pair in all her. . .glory. Wait. Spike had an idea. ''Luna, this could be your big break,'' Spike nudged his coworker. ''Are you sure?'' Luna asked, not seeming to like the idea of conversing with the reject magician. Was this level of annoyance how ponies viewed her? ''What's the worst that could happen?'' Spike asked, patting her back. ''Just remember what I told you, and you should be fine.'' Spike had resigned to take a small break for a few minutes. Luna's last performance was less than stellar, but at least she didn't end up messing the kind of things that Spike first did when he came here. Plus Trixie may just be enough of the thing that Luna needs to help her adjust more to the modern world they know as of today. ''Here's to what's hopefully a good start of another employee at Miniature Mene-'' ''-Spike!'' Moon Dancer rushed into the back room, her mane and tail frazzled as she looked at the drake with pure, unadulterated, rage. Uh-oh. ''What in the Flim Flam is going on out there?!'' ''Uh? W-What do you mean?'' Spike was backed into a literal corner as his boss poked him with a hoof. ''Why is the store in shambles, and probably even more important; why is one of our customers a foal that's attacking Luna?!" Spike had to shake his head at that; What the heck happened in the span of 10 minutes? And foal? ''I'm sure it's nothing,'' Spike chuckled and walked over to the door after narrowly avoiding his boss's swipe at him with her hoof. ''Luna, why is Moon Dancer saying that you-'' Spike was cut off by seeing the pony in question fly around the store chasing a foal who held her ball that she bounced and blew raspberries at her. ''-Get back here at once!'' Luna slid across the floor, crashing into a shelf filled with glass figurines, the impact of the glass spreading everywhere throughout the store as Luna crumbled under the weight. ''You will buy something before departing, or you will be thrown into the nearest waste bin!'' ''The Great and Powerful Trixie will not succumb to your idle threats!'' Trixie galloped to the other side of the store, weaving in and out of the isles to avoid the Alicorn spotting her as easily. ''Change me back this instant!'' ''. . .'' Spike merely looked on, Moon Dancer skulking behind him as she stared the both of them down. ''I can explain.'' ''When I said train her,'' Moon Dancer put a hoof on her friend's shoulder. ''I meant the right way!'' the force of her shout made Spike's ears ring. Granted, he did the best that he was allowed to do while training Luna, but he never thought she would take simple instructions out of proportion like this. And why did she turn Trixie into a filly? ''AHHHHHH!'' Trixie was tackled by Luna, the pair struggling for dominance before Luna chucked her out of the store's entrance, the look of less than desired joy on her face as she charged after the filly with a music box. ''Buy this, and be sure to review our store!''