“I am TELLING you I heard something in the caboose!” a voice bellows out from a train car. A young Earth Stallion with a lime green coat and dark seaweed green mane looks over across the train connectors at the locked door to the caboose before looking over his shoulder to see his partner sitting on a stool looking back at him annoyed.
“Once AGAIN! I'm telling you the only thing I've heard is the sound of the train moving!” She says with frustration in her tone as she rolls her eyes. Her coat was baby pink with a short grey mane that parts at her forehead to showcase her horn.
“Ugh! You are impossible! I am telling you there might be somepony in the Caboose right or lounging around or worse!” He gasps. “F-freighthopping!”
“Oh my cupcakes! Parsley! We checked it after we visited the Crystal Empire as our procedure and guess what we found? Nothing! Are you telling me that amidst the train moving some pony was fast enough to catch up with the train?” She motions the train moving with a chocolate bar in her left hoof and the right representing a pony chasing behind. “Jump on board the caboose and are currently hiding there?” She stops the scene to take a bite out of her chocolate bar as she gives a deadpan look to her partner.
“I... I... Maybeeeee?” Parsley looked away from her judging gaze.
“Listen, Wrangler! C-can’t you just trust my ears for once! I don’t want to go to sleep tonight while you're checking the other carts and get.. I don’t know!? Foalnapped? Picked up and thrown off the train!” She bursts out laughing, making him glare at her and wait until she finishes laughing which lasts for five minutes before she wipes a tear from one of her eyes.
“Oh Parsley! Was this all about you wanting me to do something like plug in your whittle nightwight fer you~?” She gives a large smile as she looks at the blushing Parsley.
“N-no! I mean what I said!” Parsley yells at her, his own anger starting to rise. Wrangler simply chuckles as she gets up from her sitting posture and approaches him just to ruffle his mane.
“Yeah, yeah whatever. Fineee I'll go with you to ease this “noise” so you don’t get foalnapped or… pff…. Pfft thrown off the train in your sleep.” Her cheeks puff up as she tries to hold back the laughter. Parsley glares at her before stepping away from her.
“Laugh it up. You won’t laugh when we open that door and catch a pony freighthopping.” Parsley says while walking over to one of the storage drawers of their cart and pulling out a flashlight between his teeth. He struggles to try and flick the switch with his tongue only for an azure aura to surround it and pull it free from his jaws and easily turn on in Wrangler’s magical hold.
“Let me handle the flashlight this time, bawby Parsley.” She snickers before heading to the caboose, Parsley grabs the caboose key and then follows behind grumbling his annoyance of unicorn magic. Crossing the connectors Parsley with the key between his teeth slowly unlocks the door and slides it open slowly only for wrangler to hit the smack the door open.
“Alright Freighthopping! scum! Put your hooves up where I can see them!” Wrangler yells as she scans over the caboose with the flashlight. Inside they see the usual food storage containers for the crew shined on by the moonlight through the windows. The untouched storage shelf filled with various tools for the crew and the lockbox where the conductor's precious golden watch lies within. Parsley prepared his frown alright as Wrangler slowly turned to face him with a smirk.
“Well would you look at that Parsley! Absolutely nopony in sight! I mean look even closer, not a single object has been moved, it's almost like… Gasp nopony could ever freight hop a caboose mid travel!” She covered her mouth with a hoof as she snickered at the blushing angry Parsley.
“Mistakes happen… I guess…” Parsley looked to the side. Wrangler happily enters, not bothering to look around.
“I hope you sleep well tonight, little Parsley… haha i know i will in the morning~” She heads to the end of the caboose to look over the railing at the tracks. Parsley follows behind but looks around more carefully.. Any clues of somepony being here… he could’ve sworn he heard something. He frowns and the thought of him being paranoid comes to mind only for something to fall right next to him. Parsley’s ear twitches and he looks towards the sound. A… weirdly designed half eaten muffin? First parsley looked at the shelf but realized no food could ever be placed on a shelf filled with boxes of tools.. But if it wasn’t there then where did it come from.
Slowly Parsley's eyes went up to look at the ceiling of the Caboose. His heart immediately stopped. There he saw a…. A creature dressed in strange clothing with a very noticeably pick coat stayed on the ceiling with its arms and legs stretched out to the edges of the walls with strength that helped keep it still up on the ceiling, staring down at him with glowing pink eyes that bore into his very core.
“A-ah...Wran—” Before he could even call her the benign dropped down quickly without making a sound in front of him and quickly grabbed him. Parsley immediately tried to struggle but one arm was wrapped around his neck and the other his mouth and easily picked him up off the ground and away from any nearby objects from his flailing hooves. He sees the distracted Wrangler at the end of the cart and constantly tries to scream to her… but his sounds are muffled. The strength of this creature is absurd!
He had already given up trying to escape and instead invested to get her attention however all he could hear other than his muffled yells were her still mocking him. Soon the edges of his vision grew black. Was he dying? No he was suffocating! It was choking him! Adrenaline kicked in and he started flailing even harder, however he couldn’t even make the creature take a single step with all his strength and the fatigue of his action caught up to him as his eyelids started to fall lower and lower…. He lets out one last muffled yell for her before losing consciousness.
`Well that was close` War sighed as he gently puts down the knocked out guard and grabs his yak muffin to pocket it.
`Now to escape this situation` War stares at the Distracted pink pony then he looks back and comes out with a genius plan on the spot. He picks up the green ponies body and bangs its head against the shelf before dropping it and quickly jumping back up and getting his ambush ceiling stance.
Wrangler jumps in place and almost drops the flashlight onto the tracks. She scowls and turns around. “Oh really funny, Par—”
She pauses, seeing Parsley's body surrounded by tools by the shelf with a large bump on his forehead. She quickly rushes over to press her ear against him to make sure he was still alive before going into ”Imnotgettingframedformurdertimetothrowhimoff” luckily she hears a heartbeat which makes her let out a sigh.
“You idiot… How could you knock yourself after all this trouble…. Ugh… whatever it was about time for you to turn in anyway.” She puts the flashlight down and after some struggling she manages to get the stallion on her back. She leaves the flashlight behind in exchange for the key. Leaving the caboose she locks it first before heading back inside their cart and laying the idiot to bed.
“........He’ll be fineeee, Wrangler… We’ll check on him after we patrol.” Wrangler whispers to herself before picking up the keys to the rest of the train cars and begins her patrol through the train.
War watched the pony leave before dropping down again. He sighed and brought out his yak muffin again to eat it.
`Note to self: Pony hearing is pretty good.`
War walks to the end of the caboose and leans on the guard rails. Finishing his muffin and throwing the wrap onto the tracks. He didn’t want to choke out that pony but well… you got to do what you got to do. One unconscious pony was better than two unconscious ponies. He turns his gaze up to the sky to resume what he was doing before they came in.. minus the muffin. The night sky here was as unique as hell's sky.
The moon was much larger than Lucifer’s artificial moon or even earths. It was more beautiful too… the stars in the night sky only increased the beauty of the night. It really would be a good night to sit down with a bottle of wine… maybe a blanket on a small hill to stargaze and just simply relax and drink.
`Damn… Now I want a drink.` He puts his hand on his chin as he leans further.
`Maybe I should've stayed with the yaks… Death and the others would’ve probably found me in time. The moment I left I've pretty much been racking up pony beatings… plus one killing if you count that weird celestial looking bear thing…`
War closed his eyes and released a groan. “The next spot I stop , I swear I'm keeping to secrecy and relax just a “tad” bit…” He hums a tune as he rides to the next stop.
The train whistles as it comes to a complete stop. War lets out a whistle of his own as he sees what the stop was to. From what he could see it was a...rather large town. Medieval like but colorful even under the night sky.
`I need a better look.` War jumps up to grab on the edge of the caboose’s roof and climb on top while laying low. A small train station befitting a town like this. The platform, the station where you buy the tickets and a pathway into the town itself. However a problem presented itself in this design.
`It's open… too open. If I stepped out onto the platform I'd be visible to all the passengers and station worker…` War could see himself waiting for the passengers to leave and exiting out only for them moonlight to make him visible and the station worker having a heart attack or screaming and getting more attention..
His eyes wandered over to the side of the platform. `Too low and visible from the other side.`
He could try to crawl under the platform but.. Breaking his bones didn’t seem ideal. His eyes traveled around as the passengers began to exit. His eyes stop when he looks at the Train station's roof.
`I could jump from here to the roof… After all, no one really looks up.` He smiles and sits up halfway to ready his legs before committing to the great leap. As expected no one looked up at him and he almost landed gracefully. The roof was more sloped than he thought and made out of straw of all things. His upper half buried itself into the thatched roof letting his legs stick out. His body slightly sled downwards until it stopped. Below a passenger sees some hay fall from the edges but simply shrugs and assumes its just old hay,
War stays there for a while before wiggling and finding some difficulty. He stops again and waits for a while or at least until the train whistles again and he hears the muffled sounds of the train moving before swinging his legs wildly and pulling himself out of the roof only to roll backwards and fall off the roof. He lays on the ground, staring at the sky before spitting out straw.
“Thatched roofs…. I forgot about those…” He grunts as he gets up and hides in a bush for a bit before pulling it up by its roots and starting to collect bushes to make a large bush disguise. With the disguise he slowly inched his way into the depths of this town. At first he thought it was a simple small town he could just hide out in and observe these country ponies. Until he saw the actual town in the distance, exactly the same building types but the number of homes were… the size of a small city.
His eyes widened at the realization that he was simply on the outskirts this entire time. Getting closer he saw some relief, because of the number of buildings it had smaller streets and plenty of alleyways. Dumping the bushes behind him and ran into one of the alleyways and started to explore the town via these narrow passageways. Peeking out every now and seeing some night walkers.
Exploring the town was something else. While most buildings were built in the same materials they varied in shape and size but there were some buildings built with internally different materials. One looked like a gingerbread house and stood out like a white spot on autumn painting. A tower in the center of a roundabout but most importantly was that he could see a castle in the distance. From what he can see it was made out of crystal… and a tree? Not a crystal tree. It was difficult for him to even describe the best he could say was a crystal treehouse designed like a castle on a crystal tree.
`I wonder if that is related to the crystal empire… If it is then oh boy.. I might be adding more ponies to number of “harmed” then.. So far there weren't any guards.`
He stands by the exit of an alleyway with the need to get across the roundabout to get a closer look at the castle. Seeing no ponies he runs around and clings to the sides of the building. `Hm. Maybe i should sign up for more sneaking miss—`
A door swings open and hits his torso and throat. “Mnh!?”
War falls on his back and blinks as he realizes what just happened. A feminine voice enters his ears.
“T-thanks! Shots! Riiggght..? hic I you ...uh.. Have goood n-night! See tomoororororow! And after that hic” War closes his eyes as he hears that voice. A drunkard, a drunkard and a bar without a doubt… He furrows his brow at the thought of him jinxing himself hours before. He slowly comes to a stand as the door closes, expecting the pony to be going in the other direction only to find her looking up at him.
War stares down at her. A mulberry pony with a sloppy cerise mane. A pink blush to her face and lidded eyes. “W-well hello there hic pink b-blob… or Pinkie is that you.?.hic”
`Alright time to take advantage of a drunk lady!` War gently smacks his throat as it heals and then gives a bow.
“Afraid not Ma’am I am your bar escort. I have waited to take you to your home.” War gives a soft smile and looks down at her. She looks back with a confused stare and squints at him for a while before giving a dopey smile.
“Woooooow…. How f-fancy.. hic... i .. apearci- Apprearcaiite… Apppppperc--- en-enjoy your offer but i can w-walk home by myself hic...” She giggles before turning around and walking away. War smiles at his successful lie and prepares to take his own leave but stops when he sees her lean in her walk and then falling face first into the dirt before giggling.
`Leave her be.. Leave her War, Just leave her be you have a mission to do...` She gets back up and walks a bit forward only to crash into a pole and apologize to it.
`I can’t leave her be… I can’t leave her be War. I can’t leave her be even if I have a mission to do…` War rushes over and gently helps her back up on her feet.
“Oh you again hic... Pinkie r-right?” She smiles at him as she stumbles back a little only for war to catch her and balance her.
“Yes Ma’am I'm afraid to say i can’t trust you to go home by yourself so i must insist you allow me to escort you.” War wraps his left arm around her barrel. He lets out a “oh?” At the feeling of her squishy belly.
`Is this what humans call a beer gut?` She was only slightly heavier than that pink pony back at the empire. Her legs squirms about as her eyes widen.
“Woooooooooooooooooooah..Im hic F-flwoating! This is niccceee….” She goes limp in his arm, embracing her position like a cat.
“Do you know where your home is?” War says while heading to an alleyway.
“Oh yeah.. I know where my hic little den is…”
“Can you lend me directions to it?” He looks down at her with a smile while she returns a bigger smile to him.
“Mhmm you can t-t-trruuust me…!” She crosses her chest w and gives a look of confidence.
`I sure hope so…` War focuses back in front of him and walks forward.
During their travels Berry would give him directions and he had followed them through the alleyways but also telling him about buildings in town in a drunken manner. As cross in between alleyways she would point her at the gingerbread designed house.
“Ahh.. I could use one of those baked hic goody goodies right now….” She licks her lips as she stares at the building.
“That's a bakery?” War raises a brow as he looks at the building.
“Mhmm! That's the b-best bakery in ponydill! I argue its the hic best in the country…”
“Nice.. I might have to try it sometime in the future…” He stops when he hears her gasps, he scans the area before looking at her. She stares at him with wide eyes and mouth open.
“You neverrrrr tried Sugarbewb corner before?!” She asked incredulously.
“Uh...no I'm new to...town?” He said as he slowly raised a brow.
“We-we gotta get you some of those baked g-goody goods! I c-can’t let a newbie hic go untasted!” She struggles only a little to move towards the bakery.
“Uh..” He looks to the bakery and points out the lights inside are out which makes her stop and stare and sloppy smacking his thigh*
“Gaaah.. They’re closed…hic... “ She slumps in his hold looking down and pouts before getting some strange burst of energy and pointing a hoof at him. “I s-swear I'll get you something either from the bakery hic or some other noteworthy place…”
“Mhmm…” War nods and goes back to carrying her into an alleyway. The duo travel throughout the town with her giving directions and being a tour guide.. Somewhat. He learned that the supposed castle belong to “Twikite” who was a princess of “Rainbows and Frwiends” Which just made War confused. A spa building, theater, a market place, some shops, and apparently the homes of some of her friends. Eventually her tour would end as They successfully made it to her home which was… Right next to a schoolhouse.
`Who decided to let a drunkard right next to a schoolhouse…?` War furrows his brows as he places her down.
“Aww… floating time is over…..” She pouts as she looks at her hooves before looking up. “Oh heeeeey, my hic shack… when did i get here?” She giggles and opens her door making War pause.
`She left her door UNLOCKED before she went drinking~?` War couldn’t help it but do a combo of a facepalm and head shake at this discovery.
“Hey thanks...e-escort fairy” She turns around to look at him. He sighs and looks back at her.
“You’re welcome ma'am.” War gives a bow and simultaneously both turn around and walk away. War stops and cups his chin as he thinks of what to do now when behind him the door opens again and that familiar slurred speech returns.
“H-hey Wait a mowent! hic” War frowns and sighs before slowly turns around and puts up a gentle smile. “Something amiss, Ma’am?”
“Yeah something is aa-ammiss? I forgot to give you your thingy..” She points at him with a hoof before belching.
“My… thingy?” War narrows his eyes and raises a brow. She nods and out of his view leans over to grab something. Coming back into view between her jaws was a large bottle. A bottle he recognized. He walks over to her and leans forward slightly to point at the bottle.
“Is that… Cider?” She smiles while holding the bottle before offering up to him. He hesitates but takes the bottle and examines it. The label said “Apple Family Cider” with a simple logo of red apple surrounded by a horseshoe.
“Uhhh….” He looks at the bottle unsure then back to the pony who looked awfully smug for some reason. “No need to thank m-me.. hic I store up on those every season… that so happens to be the newest batch…hic” She giggles while War just looks at the bottle again.
“I uh see… Well I look forward to trying it tonight.. After work of course hahahaaa….” He gives a half smile to her. She grins back. “I look forw-forard- f- forwwaaard to hearing about it tomorroororororow… hic”
“Tomorrow?” Before he could get an answer to that question she had already closed the door on him. “..........”
He wasn’t sure how to feel at the moment.. He had derailed his original mission by a milestone but obtained “pony cider”. He sighs and looking up at the night sky he decides to just embrace what his mission has become. Walking away from the drunkard's home and plant himself into the open fields. It was undoubtedly stupid and if a pony were to just take a night stroll he’d be visible but well… he’d just act like a creature of the night and spook them a bit. Sitting in the field with his bottle he pops it up and takes a sniff.
“Yep… Smells like fermented apple alright…” He sighed. This was undoubtedly made for ponies and seeing how small they were… they were all probably lightweights compared to him.
“Well… I don’t need to get drunk now. Just some relaxation.” He brings the bottle to his lips and drinks a bit before quickly pulling it away from him. Eyes widening and body shivering.
“Oh! That… damn that has quite a kick to it…. Mn!” He chuckles to himself as he absorbs the apple flavor. “This is… really good for pony cider…. I’ll have some more” He brings the bottle to his lips again and drinks. He pulls it away just as quickly.
“Kyaaaaaaaaaah~ This is actually really good. With the night sky.. This actually might be worth it! Though of course it's still not enough to get me drunk.” War chuckles as he stares at the moon. Drinking the Night away.
“C’mon Girls!” Apple Bloom yelled as she rushed to their clubhouse. “I gotta an’ idea on how we can help out da’ town today!”
The other two following far behind both nearly out of breath. “Slow down Apple bloom! Jeez!” Scootaloo yelled back only to be ignored.
“What got… her … all … excited? Sweetie bell says between gasps for air as she tries to keep up. “I dunno… but I hope it's a good Idea!” Scootaloo says before almost tripping over a rock but catching herself. When they make it to the tree Sweetie Bell stops at the base to catch her breath while Scootaloo walks up their ramp to the clubhouse. At the top she sees Apple Bloom waiting at the doorway.
“This better be a good idea, Apple Bloom… Sweetie looks like she's about to faint because you took off so fast.” Scootaloo looks at Apple Bloom only to be ignored. She frowns and walks over to her.
“Hey! Listen to meeee….?” Scootaloo pauses in the doorway and her eyes widen.
“What's… going on?” Sweetie Bell says as she climbs up the stairs and groups up with the other two before freezing up. Inside their clubhouse was.., something large dressed in pink with weird patterns. It was sprawled out on their floor with an empty bottle next to it.
“Um…. Apple Bloom… is this your idea?”