//------------------------------//
// 26. - Summer Sun Celebration 
// Story: Pregnant Noses Know 
// by Irrespective 
//------------------------------//

“Well, somepony is feeling good this morning, I think.” Baked Bean lifted one hoof to shield his eyes as he entered his chambers, and he slowly approached his wife with a grin. “And me without my sunglasses.”

Celestia responded with a light laugh, and her magic gently pulled him in for a kiss. “I probably should be offended by that statement, but I am feeling rather pleased this morning. I can’t quite account for why, though. I just…” she paused, and her hoof began to run up and down her stomach as Bean laid down and rested his head on her shoulders. “I just feel so content right now. It’s like everything is in perfect harmony. I have to admit, I even feel sexy and a little bit sultry.”

“Oh? I think those pregnancy hormones are surging a bit,” Bean quipped, and moved his hoof to rub her tummy as well.

“That may be part of it, but your lingering stares have not gone unnoticed,” she added with a sly grin for him. 

“You got me,” he replied with a kiss. “You have a shine about you that naturally attracts the eye, to say nothing of the extra sparkles in your mane and tail. I can’t help but stare at you in all of your resplendent glory.”

Celestia hummed a happy note, and her free hoof gently stroked his cheek. “And will I still be resplendent once Nilla is born?”

“Of course,” he said. “The sunrise and the sunset look different, but both come from the sun, and both can be equally loved. Pregnant or not, you will always be the most beautiful mare I have ever or could ever behold.”

“Good answer.” Celestia purred out her reply, and she pulled in her silver-tongued husband for another long and passionate kiss. Even after a full year of marriage, it was still nice to hear such flattery from her Bean, as his sincerity still came out in every vowel and consonant. 

And, knowing her Bean the way she did, she knew his genuine words of affection and praise would always be a reflection of his deep and abiding love for her in all the years they would spend together. 

Bean hummed as he pulled back slightly from her embrace, but his hoof continued to follow hers in rubbing her stomach. “While I would love to stay like this, we do have the Summer Sun Celebration to get to.”

“I suppose we do.” Celestia drew in a long breath, and she slowly stood once Bean had moved to let her. “Do you know if Corporal Larkspur’s family is here?”

“They are. Trixie told me that they were all down in the main dining room, enjoying a pre-dawn breakfast with Luna before the celebration.”

“Good. I’m glad to see that Lulu is making more friends.” Celestia smiled as Bean approached with her peytral in his hooves, and she dipped her head to him so he could slide it on. “She’s friendly enough with the ministers and the nobility, of course, but I think she needs more friends that she can fully open up to, friends that she can share her private concerns and personal victories with. Friends like you,” she said with a peck on his cheek.

“I think so too.” Bean bent sideways to grab her shoes, and he slid the first one on as he continued. “I hesitate to ask, but… well, do you think that she and Larkspur might become more than friends?”

One regal eyebrow went up. “And here I thought Cadence was the only matchmaker. Are you colluding with her, or are you two in competition with one another?”

Bean’s eyes widened. “I’m not saying she needs to marry him or anything. I just… I can’t help but wonder if they’ll be friends, or something more. That sounds bad, doesn’t it? I don’t mean to insinuate that she shouldn’t have whatever relationship she wants with him.”

“And she will, despite any outside interference,” Celestia said with a smirk. “But I do not know what will happen between them. You know of Luna’s continued devotion to Star, and we do not know how Larkspur feels. Whatever happens, we should wholeheartedly support them and their decision.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Bean hastily added.

“I only hope that Larkspur will respect her wishes and not try to force her into something she does not want,” Celestia went on.

“I doubt he’d do that,” Bean said as he slid her last shoe on. “If he was that type, he wouldn’t be in the Royal Guard, and I can’t see your sister being ‘forced’ into anything without a rather large crowbar. But I’d hate for him to think there’s something between him and Luna when there’s not.”

“As would I. However, we cannot control what happens between them, nor should we try to. Luna and Larkspur are both adults, and we will treat them as such.”

There was a wistful note in Celestia’s words, and Bean nuzzled her cheek. “Thinking of Nightmare Moon?”

Celestia nodded. “I treated my sister like a petulant child back then, and I questioned her choices far too often. I refuse to do so again.”

Bean nodded as Celestia’s magic produced his royal blue coat, and he reared up to make it easier for her to dress him. “From my laypony’s perspective, I think you do a fantastic job of that. It’s amazing to see how often you two work together on mutual solutions to particularly sticky problems. Even in the short time that I’ve known her, Luna has really grown in her position at your side.”

“I still feel that I could do more.” Celestia bit her bottom lip in thought as she fastened the brass buttons on Bean’s coat. “Perhaps it is time I ask Luna to join us during Day Court.”

“It’d be nice to have her there,” Bean agreed. “At the very least, we wouldn’t have to fill her in on the details of what happened later. I only worry that she wouldn’t be up to it if she has a long night of nightmare fighting. The petitioners might react poorly to being yawned at constantly, too.”

“I would not require her to be in attendance every day; she could come and go as she sees fit.” Celestia’s magic slid Bean’s Celestial Crystal over his head, and she smirked as her magic straightened and centered his cherished gift from Cadence and Shining Armor. “There. Just as handsome as ever, my love.”

Bean’s cheeks flared with red, and he stammered out his appreciation while his gaze went to his hooves. “Thank you. I don’t know if I’ll ever really understand why you find me attractive, but I’m so very glad that you do.”

“It’s because you’re yellow,” she said with a wink. “If you were blue, or green, or gray, then this marriage of ours wouldn’t have worked out.”

Bean snorted out a laugh. “Uh huh. Right.”

The Solar Princess leaned in and brushed her lips across his. “You, my beloved Baked Bean, could be any color in the world and I would still love you. But your yellow is like icing on the cake, as it were. It makes you all the more perfect to me.”

Their lips locked, and for several long moments, Celestia enjoyed the surge of pleasure that cascaded outward from her chest and down to her hooves. When she did finally release her Bean, his grin couldn’t be any wider, and a few faint whips of smoke rose from his mane and tail.

“Whoof!”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Uncle Bean!” Cadence cheerfully called out, and Bean grunted as she pulled him into a bone-crunching hug. “It feels like forever since we last saw you! How have you been? Is your leg still healing?”

“Urk!” he managed until Cadence gave him some air. “Oh, thanks. Well, my leg is as healed as it’s going to get, but my ribs might need some attention,” he quipped as she released him. “But to answer your question, I’m doing fine. It’s good to see you both, too,” he added as he gave Shining Armor a hoof bump and a quick, stallion-to-stallion hug.

“Same here,” Shining repeated. “Only a couple more months, eh?”

“It’s been a wild ride, but I think we’re both ready for Nilla to be out here with us,” Bean said with a glance up to his wife. “But we can wait. What about you and Cadence? Any big news for us?” he asked with a waggle of his eyebrows. 

“Not yet,” Shining said, his demeanor and his smile drooping ever-so-slightly. “Harmony knows we’ve been trying like crazy—”

“Shiny!” Cadence jabbed her elbow into his ribs. “This isn’t exactly the best place to talk about that!” 

Bean and Celestia snickered while Shining rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. “I suppose not. But I’m sure it won’t be much longer.”

“Of that, I am sure. You are staying for the National Dessert Competition later, are you not?” Celestia asked as the foursome moved towards the main gardens. 

“We actually made arrangements to stay for a couple of weeks,” Cadence cheerfully replied. “Shiny and I wanted to help with any last-minute preparations that might come up for Nilla, and to start getting ready for her Crystalling. Besides, you haven’t had a baby shower yet, and I want to throw one for you! You don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course not!” Celestia wrapped her wing over her niece and gave her a small hug. “I would love to have a baby shower.”

“Don’t worry, Bean,” Shining whispered to his princely counterpart. “I’m making separate plans for us. We have a new fantasy buckball season to prepare for, and I’m not going to let you smoke me this time.”

“Beginner’s luck, I swear,” Bean replied. 

“Will your family be here for the Celebration, Uncle Bean?” Cadence asked, and Bean shook his head.

“I’m sure they would like to, but there’s no way they could shut down the Zuerst. The Summer Sun Celebration is one of the busiest times of the year, so to close would be metaphorically suicidal.”   

“Huh. That makes sense, but I never really thought about that part of it before,” Cadence said thoughtfully.

“They are going to take time off when Nilla is born, though,” Bean continued. “Mom loves foals, so there’s a good chance she’ll move in so she can spoil her first grandchild rotten.”

“My mother says she’ll do the same thing,” Shining Armor said with a laugh. 

“I should invite Lima to the baby shower,” Cadence added. “Would she be able to come if we hold it next week?”

“She’ll figure out a way, don’t worry,” Bean said with a chuckle.

“And what about the rest of your family; your cousins and your grandparents? Would they be able to come?”

“Oh, sure. The boys in the family would just take over for the girls for that night.”

“That settles it, then. I’ll make sure they all have an invitation as soon as possible,” Cadence said with a deep smile. “Oo! Looks like a good crowd turned out this year for the Celebration, Aunt Celly.” 

Bean scanned the sizable gathering for a moment, and he had to agree with Cadence’s assessment. The main garden area was nearly filled, end to end, with ponies of every color, shape, and size imaginable, and a little thrill of delight ran up Bean’s spine. He had not been able to attend a Summer Sun Celebration since his childhood, and he almost couldn’t wait for his wife to raise the sun in her dramatic style. 

But the moon needed to be lowered before the sun could rise, so Luna shared a few last words with Larkspur and his family at the front of the crowd before moving to meet with her sister. The two shared a quick hug, but Luna also took a moment to give Shining Armor and Cadence one as well.

“Are we ready to begin?” Luna asked. 

“If you are, dear Sister,” Celestia replied. “After you.”

The assembled Royals ascended the stairs that led to the Sigils of the Sun and Moon, but Shining, Cadence, and Bean moved off to one side while Celestia and Luna took their places in front of the intricately carved statues that represented their celestial bodies. A delighted, electric energy flowed into the air from the assembled crowd, and Bean couldn’t hold back his smile as a dozen unicorn guards blasted out a deep fanfare from the balconies above them. 

“Citizens of Equestria!” Celestia’s Royal Canterlot Voice boomed out and over the eager crowd. “It is with great joy that I raise the summer sun as we celebrate the return of my sister, Princess Luna!”

The crowd broke into a wild cheer, but only for a brief moment. Luna’s horn illuminated with magic, and with one regal flap of her outstretched wings, the nocturnal diarch took to the sky and hovered in place as the moon sank below the horizon. 

Celestia then took to the air, her horn alight, and the sun rose from behind the eastern horizon as she also hovered in place before the sun statue. A glorious burst of light flooded the sky, washing over every pony and filling the entirety of existence with the joy and power of a new dawn and a new day. 

For Bean, it was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. His chest swelled with love and delight as he beheld his beloved, in all of her glorious majesty—and a slight baby bump—silhouetted by the sun behind her, and he was the first to cheer when she and Luna touched down on the stage once more. 

He was the luckiest stallion in the whole of Equestria, no doubt about it. 

But as the crowd cheered and the Sisters waved, Baked Bean took a moment to lock away how he felt right at that moment. He wanted to save everything—the sight, the thoughts, and the feelings—and keep them deep within him in an eternal remembrance. In all the years that he would spend with Celestia, he wanted to always have this Summer Sun Celebration to hold, and to remind him of what he truly had been given in his relationship with the Eternal Mare of the Morning.

Out of the corner of his eye, Bean thought he saw a faint light coming from his Celestial Crystal. When he held it up, though, it still looked the same as it always did, and he passed off what he had seen as a reflection.

“Well?” Celestia nuzzled his cheek, booped his nose, and then gave him a kiss. “What did you think?”

Bean hesitated for a moment, but his grin grew while he assembled his thoughts. “When I was a colt, my parents took me to a Summer Sun Celebration in Las Pegasus, and I can still remember how awesome it was when I saw you raise the sun that day. It was so graceful, so dramatic. I don’t remember what you said, but I’ll never forget how I felt.

“This Summer Sun Celebration will be exactly the same, my love,” he went on, and he felt like he might explode in joy as he nuzzled her neck and received a pleased nicker from her in response. “I will never forget how absolutely amazing and perfect everything is right now. Thank you, my dear and sweet Celestia.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Luna?” Baked Bean glanced around the open throne room door, and he chuckled when he saw Larkspur and his family with the nocturnal princess. At that moment, Larkspur’s three kids were all perched on Luna’s throne, and the princess was taking a picture. 

“Ah, Bean!” Luna motioned for him to approach, and she turned her attention back to the young fillies. “Marigold, Constance, Tumbleweed, this is Prince Baked Bean. I do believe you wanted to meet him, yes?”

Bean laughed as three pairs of eyes went wide in awe, but he had no hope of understanding the explosion of words that erupted as the three tumbled down from the dias and surrounded him. He thought heard one of them ask how he managed to boop Celestia’s nose, and he was pretty sure the one with a black eye said something about his fight with Tirek, but beyond that, he was hopelessly lost. 

“Quite the energetic bunch you have here, Corporal,” Bean quipped to the guard, who smiled sheepishly. 

“At the moment, I’m only claiming one of them, sir. The wild ones are my sister’s.” 

“Lark!” The peach colored mare tried to jab her elbow into her brother’s ribs, but the effort was deflected by the Corporal’s armor. 

“My sister, Mint Julep, sir,” Larkspur said with a laugh. 

“A pleasure to have you and your family here, Miss Julep,” Bean replied with a grin. “Is Princess Luna giving you the grand tour?”

“She is, but if my kids don’t quit horsing around, we’re going home right now!” Mint Julep shouted to two of the three fillies who had begun to wrestle in the middle of the room. “Sorry, Your Highness. They just don’t know how to behave some days.”

“They’re kids,” Bean said with a shrug and a chuckle. “I don’t blame them.”

“Where is Princess Celestia?” the small blue unicorn in front of Bean asked.

“Constance, right?” Bean asked, and she nodded. “Phew! I’m glad I heard your name right. Princess Celestia is actually taking care of a few personal matters, but she is looking forward to meeting you at the Dessert Competition later. You will be attending, I hope?”

“Will we get to eat any of the desserts?” Tumbleweed asked as she cartwheeled in front of the group.

“A few samples, but I’m pretty extra sure your Mom and your Dad don’t want the three of you to load up on sugar,” Bean said with a knowing grin for Mint and Larkspur. 

“If there are any samples to be had,” Luna quipped.

Bean tilted his head as Luna took a long sip from her Because I’m the Princess, That’s Why coffee mug. “Why wouldn’t there be?”

Luna chortled. “Bean, you are severely underestimating how powerful pregnancy cravings are for alicorns. Celestia is going to spend the entire afternoon stuffing her face with sweets until she is as big as a whale, and I intend to be there to watch the carnage and to capture the moment for future enjoyment. Say cheese!”

“Gah!” Bean cried as he was suddenly blinded by the flash of Luna’s camera, and he staggered back a step. 

“Now, was there something you needed?” Luna asked, her magic working the crank on her camera to advance the film. 

“Celly wanted me to ask if you still planned on attending the competition,” Bean replied with a few rapid blinks to clear his vision. “She wasn’t sure if you needed to go to bed.”

“Tell her I appreciate her concern, but I am fine,” Luna replied. “I will take a short respite once I am done giving Mint Julep and her family the tour, and that will be sufficient for my needs.”

“I’ll tell her that,” Bean said with a nod to Mint Julep. “I’m afraid I need to run, but I will see you later.”

“Of course, Your Highness.” Mint Julep bowed, then gasped as she came back up. “Marigold! Put that back right now!”

“Aw, Mom!” Marigold protested in return.  

“Until this afternoon,” Bean said, and he chuckled to himself as he left and Mint Julep sprinted over to Marigold’s position. He knew from first-hoof experience at the Zuerst that young fillies and colts at that age could be hyperactive bundles of destruction, and if Nilla did end up being an alicorn…

There would be a very good chance that the palace would have more holes in the walls than a changeling had holes in their legs. From the whole hive.

But it would be worth it. Celestia most likely knew of some nullification spells that could be used to mitigate the damage, and it was good for kids to be curious. 

“Bean!” Shining Armor’s voice cut into his thoughts, and Bean slowed for a moment to allow the Prince of the Crystal Empire to catch up to him. “Here you are. Aunt Celestia and Cady are waiting for us. Did you find Aunt Luna?”

“I did, and she’s going to join us later,” Bean said. “Right now, her hooves are full with Corporal Larkspur and Mint Julep’s little group.”

Shining nodded, and drew in a deep breath. “I’m glad the Princess is getting Lark to open up a bit. He’s a solid soldier, but he’s always been lacking in ambition. He’s just… I always got the feeling that he was just going through the motions, y’know? He didn’t put his heart into anything, and that’s held him back. I’d love to promote him, but his performance is so average, I can’t justify it.”

“Hopefully that will change,” Bean said. “But I bet Luna will push him, too.”

“In more ways than one, I bet.” Shining chuckled. “C’mon. Let’s catch up to the girls.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“I don’t know how I got roped into this.” Cozy Homes drew in a long breath as she stepped onto the train platform, and her gaze dropped to the small blue colt with a blondish-red mane who followed in her wake. “And I expect you to be on your best behavior, young colt. I don’t want a repeat of the Princess Summit, understand?”

Flint Hearthstone rolled his eyes. “I understood it the first five times you told me, mother. I will behave myself.”

Despite his annoyance, Flint truly had no intention of ‘misbehaving.’ He would be a good little colt, because that was the last thing any of the ponies would expect.

This was not an attack opportunity. This was reconnaissance. 

“After all… Shéi zhīdào shénme shíhòu gāi zhàndòu, shénme shíhòu bù gāi zhàndòu, tā jiù huì yíng,” he continued.

“Is that Neighponese?” Cozy asked.

“It’s Manedarin.”

“Well I’m impressed, sweetie. Your time at the library has expanded your horizons.”

“Quite.” Flint had no intention of telling his mother why he had suddenly become interested in libraries and books—especially books on the history of Equestria and the Two Nags—as he had no desire to sit through another lecture about his so-called ‘anger management issues.’ 

“Oh!” Cozy cried out to a pony who was exiting the train. “Watch out for the peppermint! Dear me, this Dessert Competition is just not worth it.”

“I said that from the beginning,” Flint muttered, but then he cleared his throat. “Since you will be busy with that for the rest of the day, may I be excused to go to the Royal Archives?”

Flint suppressed his involuntary gag, and inwardly, he snarled. The King of the Dragons should not have to use such insipid and worthless words like ‘please’ and ‘may I,’ but he knew he had to swallow his pride for this one moment if he wanted to get away from a day filled with sickening pony foods. 

Food was fuel, nothing more. Why waste the time with decorating it and stuffing it full of sugars and spices? 

“I don’t know,” Cozy replied, a wary look on her face. “You tried to break into the restricted section last time.”

“I have learned my lesson,” Flint said flatly. “I will stay in the public area.” For now.

“I think I’d rather have you stay with me,” Cozy said. 

“Fine.” Flint shrugged. He knew full well that his mother would be too busy with the competition to keep a proper eye on him, so it would be easy enough to slip away undetected later. 

“But I suppose that would be pretty boring for you, wouldn’t it?” Cozy scrunched up her nose as she thought the matter over, then sighed. “Fine, you can go. But for my sake, please stay out of trouble. If the Royal Guard brings you back to me again, you’ll be grounded until you die.”

“You first.”

“What was that?”

“Enjoy your desserts.” Flint forced his face to stay neutral, and he offered an answer that would be pleasing to pony ears, and thus get his mother out of his way. “I will be on my best behavior. Pinkie Promise.”

Flint then crossed his heart, pantomimed sticking a cupcake in his eye, and held back a snarl. Celestia and Luna were going to pay dearly for these humiliations, and he would make sure their sufferings were both exquisite and prolonged.

His thoughts of vengeance were interrupted by a rattling garbage can next to them, and before he had time to react, a pink blur erupted out of it and tackled him, pinning his shoulders to the ground. 

“Get off me you lunatic!” Flint roared in fury.

“You made a Pinkie Promise!” Pinkie Pie gave Flint a surprisingly effective death glare, and her nose dropped to touch his. “And when somepony makes a Pinkie Promise, they keep it! Forever!”

“Pinkie Pie?” Cozy glanced around the platform, then back to the exuberant party mare. “How did you…”

“For-eh-ver!” Pinkie whispered while pointing to her eyes, then to Flint with a hoof. The diminutive former dragon lord snarled as he stood, and he mentally added the pink menace to his list of ponies to eliminate as soon as was practical. Again. 

With that, Pinkie bounded away with a smile and a happy song, leaving Flint to fume and Cozy to stare on in surprised confusion.

“That was... strange,” Cozy commented, but she shook her head. “But that’s Pinkie Pie for you. I’ll come find you when I get done with the competition, sweetie. Go have fun. But not too much fun,” she hastily added. 

Flint nodded once more, and with a grin, he began to walk. While the white sow’s records of their titanic fight were beyond his reach, there were other ways to get to the information, and more specifically, where the clash had ended. Flint was no fool, and with enough time and study, he could extrapolate what he needed from the other historical records that he did have access to.

It was the key to his future victory.

Of course, all of that was secondary to his true reasons for visiting the Archive. No fortress was completely invulnerable, no matter how well  it was constructed, and Flint was determined to find whatever weak points he could. Those weaknesses would then be exploited when his day of reckoning came, and the Sisters would finally taste of his vengeance.

And eliminating them with this pathetic excuse of a body would be the icing on the cake, as ponies liked to say.

With the thought of icing, his tiny tummy gave a rumble, which only aggravated his mood with the thought of fuel for his expedition. Just a single cupcake to prevent audible alerts for nearby guards couldn’t hurt. Or maybe two, since it might take some time. 


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Ah, there you are!” Doctor Horsenpfeffer greeted Baked Bean and Shining Armor with a sly grin. “I was just about to sic your wife on you.”

“Sorry. Trixie had a few things I needed to sign real quick,” Bean said as he shut the drawing room door. 

“Is everything okay?” Celestia asked. 

“Yeah. Just a couple of requisition requests for more stained-glass window glue.”

“They’re making good progress,” Cadence noted. “I suppose that means you were not as destructive as you thought.”

“I was destructive enough,” he said softly. 

“Before we go down that little rabbit hole of self-pity, let’s move on, shall we?” Horsenpfeffer said, her magic leaping out to pull down a portable movie screen that had been set up in one corner of the room. “There we go.”

“So, what is this?” Bean asked as he snuggled up next to Celestia. 

“Since Celestia’s due date is rapidly approaching, and since Shining Armor and Cadence are trying to have a foal, I have a short movie I want all of you to watch.” Horsenpfeffer began to fiddle with a projector on the other end of the room. “I’ve found that knowing how a live birth works helps when the time comes for a patient to have their own, so we’re going to take a little trip back to health class. Hopefully, most of what is presented will look familiar, but if not, then we can cover it and I can answer any questions you might have.”

Bean squirmed a bit. “Um, do we really need to watch this? I think I understand how the process works. In the abstract, that is. Not that I’ve ever… I mean, you’re going be there taking care of the… actual event, right? I’ll just be observing. From the other end. Helping support. I understand there are ice chips involved,” he added in a hopeful tone.

“I’m sure you learned about the birthing process in school, and I won’t force you to watch this,” Horsenpfeffer replied. “But I would strongly suggest it, and so would Banana Split. As a midwife, she shows this same movie to all of her patients, too.”

“You two know each other?” Bean asked.

“I’ve known Mama Nana for a long time, Your Highness,” Horsenpfeffer replied with a smile. “I was the one who recommended her to Wysteria.”

“There won’t be a test at the end of this, my love,” Celestia said with a giggle and a kiss. “I think it would be good for both of us to watch this. I even made popcorn,” she added as her magic produced a large tub of the treat.

Cadence’s ears snapped up, and she licked her lips in anticipation. “Oo, I’d like some popcorn, please.”

“Well, okay,” Bean said slowly. “But I really don’t think this is necessary.”

The solar prince tried to settle in next to his wife as Horsenpfeffer started the film. The movie began with some distorted music that slowly twisted to the proper tone, and a splash screen appeared, which normally would have put Bean at ease except for the actual words that were being projected in bold, red letters.




From the producers of 

Blood on the Skyway!
A first look at pegasus flight for school foals 

High Impact Films is proud to present

An educational film for new parents 

Before, During, and After Birth!
Presented in goreious technicalcolor




Bean swallowed hard. He was not going to like this movie.


 * *  ✹ * * 


Flint snorted as he glanced up and down the hallway, and though he was loathed to admit it, Celestia had done a respectable job of securing the location of their final confrontation.

He paused for a moment, pondering the implications of this. “It seems I have underestimated you, Celestia. Clearly, our ancient battle exposed your own weakness to yourself, and you have learned your lesson well. But I will not be denied, and these walls will not protect you from my wrath. You will pay for what you have done.”

The cursed fromer dragon gritted his teeth, and the memories of his legendary battle with the Two Hags of Equestria came back to him. Though their conflict had occurred over a thousand years ago in pony time, to Flint, it still felt like it had been but a few short days. Of course, this was because he had been born in this frail, useless pony body as soon as he’d been killed by Luna’s meteor, and Flint let the anger from those memories and his current form fuel his drive and resolve. 

Like their fire, a dragon’s vengeance was unquenchable, and that same vengeance would incinerate those who had opposed and cursed him.

“Flint! Hold it right there!” A guard called out, and his horn flared with magic as he advanced.

Flint snarled and cursed his loud and traitorous stomach. “Slag off. I’m not doing anything wrong, Pinhead!”

“Oh?” Corporal Quillpoint him a dubious glare. “Then why are you here in the palace?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but if you must know, I’m here with my ‘mother.’ She’s competing in your trite little competition of trifles.”

Quill scoffed. “Right. Your mother is a real estate agent. She probably doesn’t even know you’re here, does she?”

“You calling me a liar?” His eyes flashed and teeth barred.

“Yup.” Quill flatly answered. “You're an insidious little psychopath who’d say or do anything to get his way.”

“Go jump off a balcony,” Flint snapped, but his ire rolled off the Royal Guard like water off a duck, and that irritated him all the more. “She knows full well where I am. I even have her permission to be here.”

“Why don’t we verify that with the source, what say?” The dutiful guard gave Flint a shove, and promptly put up a small shield to block Flint’s attempt to slug him and bite his leg. “C’mon. Move.”

“Don’t you dare think for a moment I will be cowed by the likes of you!” Flint bared his teeth and took up a defensive stance. 

Quillpoint shifted his gaze to the scruff of Flint’s neck, as if he were considering carrying the defiant dragon king like a baby kitten.

“I will skin you if you try it,” snarled Flint.

Quillpoint did not move, although he did lick his lips as if he were not looking forward to the trip either.

Flint snorted, then spat on the ground in defiance. “Fine. But you will pay for this, mark my words.”

“I’ve heard worse from Wysteria in one of her rare good moods.” Quillpoint jerked his head in the direction of the corridor. “Let’s go.”





“Corporal Quillpoint.” Sergeant Clover Leaf nodded as Quill saluted. “And Flint Hearthstone! Well, this is an unexpected surprise. I would have buffed up my armor if I had known we would be hosting dignitaries today.”

“Your head will be the first I mount on a pike,” Flint said, the venom thick on his words.

“Still such a flatterer,” Clover tittered. “What brings you by today, my diminutive draconian friend?”

“I picked him up near the west wing,” Quill offered. 

“Is that so?” Clover’s eyebrow angled up slightly. “Any particular reason why you’d be over there, Mister Dragon King?”

“Is knowledge a crime?” Flint snapped. “I was merely walking to the archives when I was picked up by the beta male.”

“You're breaking my heart, half-pint,” Clover replied. “I don’t suppose you wanted to get into that restricted section again, did you? I thought we talked you out of that last time.”

“Forever!” Pinkie Pie suddenly interjected, and she dropped down from the ceiling on a length of rope. “You Pinkie Promised!” 

“Where in the world...” Quill asked as he studied where Pinkie had dropped in from, and just as rapidly vanished.

Flint glared at Clover. “This is asinine and a waste of my time. Unless you’re going to arrest me for doing something I didn’t actually do, I demand you release me!”   

“Corporal?” Clover asked.

“Well, he wasn’t doing anything at that moment,” Quill confessed. “But he was heading toward the archive.”

“Care to elaborate?” Clover gave a questioning glance to Flint.

“I am going to use parasprites on you. Ravenous ones. Did I elaborate enough?” Flint growled. 

“Mm, wrong answer.” Clover nodded to Quill, who fell in behind the furious colt. “See, I was thinking about letting you go, since you didn’t actually do anything, but now I think you need to have a chat with Princess Celestia. I hear you’re her number one fan.”

Flint’s eyes narrowed, and for a moment, his face twisted in rage. But then, he forced himself back to neutral, and he shrugged. Reconnaissance was his goal, and these two lap dogs were playing right into his plans. If they took him to Celestia, he would be able to see parts of the palace that would normally be guarded and thus off-limits to himself.

With luck, she’d be in her personal chambers, and a pony’s innate desire for comfort would mean that her defences were weaker there.

“Fine,” he said. “After all, I promised to behave.”

From somewhere above them, a familiar voice recited, “And breaking a Pinkie Promise is the fastest way to lose a friend! Forever!”

Clover gave up looking for where Pinkie was hiding and shook her head. “I am so glad she lives in Ponyville.”





Flint Hearthstone was never surprised.

If you were surprised, you were dead. He had become King of the Drakes by being smarter than the smartest and tougher than the toughest, and he prided himself on being able to adjust and adapt to any situation, and thus ensure that all events worked out in his favor. 

The one and only time that he had been surprised was when he had fought Celestia and Luna, and the outcome of that epic struggle only proved the point.

So, when Flint rounded a corner and found himself nearly face-to-face with a light pink and a yellow guard who looked like they were made of a crystalline material, he was not surprised. Perhaps a bit taken aback, and definitely intrigued, but not surprised. Startled, at best.

“Sergeant Toola-Roola, Sergeant Splash Down.” Clover saluted to her crystal counterparts. “Corporal Quillpoint and I need to speak with Princess Celestia about a trespasser.”

Toola-Roola glanced over Flint. “This cute little guy?”

“Flint is a lot of things, but ‘cute’ ain’t one of them,” Quillpoint flatly said. 

Toola-Roola shrugged. “They’re all just watching that birthing video, so I guess you can interrupt.”

Clover nodded to Quillpoint, and the Corporal nudged Flint up to the door, despite the colt’s growl of annoyance. After a quick knock, the door swung open, and for the second time in as many minutes, Flint had to adjust to an unusual sight. 

A sight that would be vastly improved if it involved the dismemberment of a pony, instead of a birth. Though the amount of blood on the movie screen was impressive—and brought back a few fond memories of Flint’s prior victories over his unworthy adversaries—the other birthing bits took away any enjoyment he might have drawn from the sight.

“Mammals are disgusting,” Flint muttered.  

“Corporal,” Celestia greeted the guard, nodded to Flint, and turned her attention back to the screaming mare on the screen. “Flint. Good to see you again. I’m afraid I’m a bit occupied at the moment, so if you want to fight me, you’ll need to wait.”

There was a healthy, almost pregnant-sized pause, and Flint glanced up to his tormentor. A grin came when he saw Quillpoint’s horrified expression, and he snickered when the pale-looking guard lifted a trembling hoof to point at the screen. 

“That’s birth?!”

“Yes,” Celestia casually replied, and she tossed some popcorn kernels in her mouth. “But since Wysteria will have a c-section for her twins, the process will look quite different for you.”

“Your Highness.” Clover cleared her throat. “We picked up Flint just outside the archives again.”

“You did?” Celestia asked. “Forgive me, Sergeant, but I didn’t think it was against the law to walk down a hallway.”

“HAH!” Flint blurted.

“Well, Your Highness, we were concerned that he might attempt to access the restricted section again.”

“But he didn’t actually try,” Celestia clarified. 

“No, Your Highness.”

“HAH! HAH!” Flint couldn’t hold back his laugh even if he had wanted to. Which he most certainly did not.

“Then I fail to see the problem, Sergeant,” Celestia went on. “If he does try to break in, then by all means, have him arrested. Until then, I suggest you let him go. I don’t think it would be appropriate for my guards to be arresting ponies based on nothing more than suspicion, do you?”

“No, Your Highness.”

“Perhaps we could arrange for an escort to assist him in his endeavors,” Celestia thoughtfully added.

“HAH… ha?” Flint’s laugh dropped off once he registered what had been said.

“What a wonderful idea, Your Highness!” Clover said with a smirk. “I’m sure Flint would love some help. He is rather short, after all, and those bookcases are terribly tall.”

“Hah!” Quillpoint blurted to the now indignant colt.

“Carry on, then. Oh, and send up a few more sick bags, would you? I think my husband is going to need them. Would you like some popcorn? Bean seems to have lost his appetite.”

“No thank you, Princess.” Clover saluted, turned, and pulled Quillpoint out of the doorway by his ear. Once out in the hall, the Crystal guards snickered all the more as the Sergeant glared daggers at her compatriots from the Empire.

“It’s not funny,” she shot. “You have no idea what this little fiend is capable of.”

“For once, I agree with you completely,” Flint said with a deep scowl. “I’m leaving now.”

“Quill, you stick with him and ‘assist,’” Clover said. “We’re going to keep a very close eye on you, trust me.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Captain Armor, Prince Bean.” Sergeant Hokey Pokey saluted his superiors. “The final security sweep of the competition has been completed, and we are ready to begin at any time. We expect the…” Pokey trailed off, and a confused look overtook him. “Um, Prince Bean, sir? Are you okay?”

Baked Bean continued to stare straight ahead, like somepony had taken Mount Canter and bashed it over his head. His mouth moved for a moment, but nothing intelligible came out.

“Captain?” Pokey asked. “Should I summon Doctor Horsenpfeffer?”

“No. She’s the one that did this to him,” Shining Armor said with a grin. “Seems that poor Bean here was absent on the day they talked about how foals are born in health class. He’ll be fine in an hour or two. Hopefully.”

“Did you know the placenta is usually expelled within thirty minutes of birth, but can take upwards of three hours?” Bean said to nopony in particular. “I didn’t. Now I do.”

“C’mon, I think you need to lie down for a bit,” Shining Armor gave Bean a nudge with his hoof, and the shell-shocked father-to-be began to walk straight ahead. 

“I hate to think of how he’d react to our combat first aid course, sir,” Pokey said to his superior while walking alongside Bean.

“So do I. Go let Princess Celestia and Cady know that they should get started without Bean and me. I’ll keep an eye on him until he snaps out of this, and then we’ll meet up with them.

“Understood, sir,” Pokey replied.

“Sergeant?” Shining Armor called out as Pokey began to walk away. “Where is Chrysalis right now?”

“At my house, sir,” he replied.

“Should we expect a visit from her later?”

“Never say never, sir, but I wouldn’t count on it. She claims that stealing emotions at a dessert competition is like trying to eat a carrot with ten pounds of sugar poured on it. I have no idea how or why that is, though.”

Shining snorted and rolled his eyes. “All this time, and we could have defeated her if we’d just constructed a wall of eclairs.”

“My thoughts exactly, sir.”

“Well, keep an eye out for her all the same, and let me know if there are any sightings. Also, our favorite former dragon decided to come to the competition with his pony mother today, so keep an eye on him too.”

“Flint?” Pokey groaned. “Great. That’s just what we need.”





“Thank you for inviting me to come to the dessert competition with you, Aunt Celly,” Cadence said with a broad grin. “With all of those wonderful smells coming from the grand ballroom, I was hoping I might be able to enjoy a few samples.”

“It has smelled rather succulent throughout the whole palace today, hasn’t it?” Celestia agreed with a laugh. “I’m eager to see what has been created myself. I’m told that there have been more entries this year than ever before.”

“I’d hate to be one of the judges,” Cadence said. “I don’t think I could pick a favorite.”

“Nor I,” Celestia agreed. “But we should try to save something for our husbands and Luna, no matter how tempting the offerings are.”

“I had no idea that Uncle Bean had such an aversion to biology,” Cadence said as they approached the open doors of the ballroom. “I hope he recovers soon.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine. He just needs some time to process the information, that’s all. Now, where shall we begin?” Celestia’s wings extended as she licked her lips and looked over the dozens of desserts in her palace. “Perhaps we start with the saltwater taffy, and then we work our way over to the watalappam?”

“I’d like to look at the lemon meringue first, and then we could swing over to the shortcakes,” Cadence offered, her own wings flaring upwards as she sniffed the air. “Oh, like it matters where we start! It all looks so… so tempting. I just want to start at one table and eat my way down.”

“I like your battle strategy,” Celestia said with a laugh. “C’mon. Those tiramisus look rather tempting. Let’s try those first.”





“You sure you’re okay?” Shining Armor asked once more as he and Baked Bean rounded a corner. “You’re still looking a little pale.”

“I’m fine,” Bean said weakly. “Or, at least I will be. Maybe I can get that movie out of my head if I go stuff my gob with some galaktoboureko.”

“You know, we all went through the same process at least once,” Shining quipped. “So it can’t be all that bad.”

“That thought does not help,” Bean groaned while grabbing his gut and dry heaving. “Let’s just get to the competition.”

“I guess it’s a good thing you hired that assistant,” Shining said as the princes rounded a corner and moved towards the ballroom. “Banana Split, right?”

Bean nodded. “Yeah. She’ll be assisting Doctor Horsenpfeffer during the birth, so I’m hoping the only thing I need to do during labor is feed Celestia ice chips. That should keep me as far away from—” he swallowed hard “—the other end as possible.”

“You’ll do fine,” Shining Armor said with a playful punch to Bean’s shoulder. “And then, you can give me pointers on what to do.”

Bean grimly thought over the possibility of being turned into a turnip by his vengeful wife while she was in the throes of a sharp labor pain. “Make sure her horn isn’t pointing towards you? Some mares threaten their husbands during labor, mine can put me on the moon. In pieces.”

I wouldn’t worry about that.” Shining shrugged. “Yeah, she might blast you to the moon, but I think she’d keep you in one piece. Probably.”

Bean started to say something, cut himself off, and then proceeded anyway, mostly to get his mind off of his future as a royal vegetable. “I’m a bit surprised you and Cadence haven’t gotten pregnant already. Seems like the Alicorn of Love should have no problems with that.”

“So, you’re saying that I’m the problem?” Shining said with a smirk.

“Oh! No, not at all!” Bean rapidly waved a hoof in the air, as if he was trying to erase the thought. “I mean, I guess it could be you, but I’m not saying that it’s you. There could be...um, something wrong with… with Cadence, and… and I think I’d better stop now, before I dig this hole any deeper,” he sheepishly finished.

“It’s cool,” Shining said. “And, much as I don’t want to admit it, there is a chance that Cady and I haven’t had any success because of me. Truth be told, that’s one of the main reasons we came to Canterlot for the Summer Sun Celebration. We wanted to meet with Horsenpfeffer and see if there was some kind of test that could be run to figure this out. I mean, it’s not for lack of trying, of course. Cady and I…” Shining stalled, then cleared his throat. “Well, I’ll just say that there are multiple efforts in a day and leave it at that.”

“You animal,” Bean chortled. 

“You’re just as bad, and don’t deny it,” Shining shot right back with a grin. “Anyway, it’s been difficult on both of us, but especially on Cady. She’s starting to worry that we’ll never have a foal, and then she starts to worry about what other ponies will think about that. She knows it’s silly, but she can’t help but fret.”

“That would be hard,” Bean said with a nod. “I don’t know how I’d feel if it was me and Celly who couldn’t get pregnant.”

“No matter what happens, though, Cadence and I will pull through it together,” Shining said firmly. “Even if we can’t have foals, I’ll still have her, and that’s all anypony could ever ask for in a lifetime of wishing. Besides, we’ve only been trying for a few months. My Uncle Tree Sap and Aunt Velveteen tried for I don’t know how long before they got their first, and a full ten years between the first and second. And then their third a year later. And their fourth. And their fifth. Just pop, pop, pop like popcorn until we thought they were trying to field a buckball team.”

Bean nodded as they made the last turn to the ballroom. “True. You’re both young, you still have lots of time. Just stay positive, and—”

“Excuse me, Your Highnesses!” A pony shouted. “Emergency!”

Bean and Shining stepped back, but they both gasped when they saw who was on the gurney that the pony medic was pushing. “Chef Gustav? What happened?” Bean asked.

“Two flats of cake,” the trembling griffon replied, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. “Three dozen cupcakes. A four foot long coffee cake, and still… they just keep coming!”

“Who just keeps coming?” Shining Armor asked.

“I’m sorry, no more questions.” The medic hastily pushed the blubbering, sobbing griffon chef away, leaving both princes to glance at each other for a moment before they both quickly trotted to the ballroom.

There wasn’t a word in the dictionary that Baked Bean could think of that could adequately describe the scene that he found, so he created a new one.

 Alicarnage.

Shining Armor gave a low whistle as he looked over the devastation. “I’ve seen my share of battlefields, but this one has got to take the cake. Literally.”

Bean nodded, and the princes tiptoed into the room and around the dessert destruction. There were chunks of cocadas scattered between the bits of brownies, smashed spritzkuchen splayed across the floor, and chocolate… well, everywhere. 

Chocolate here, chocolate there, and chocolate way over there, staining the far wall. There was even chocolate dripping from several spots on the ceiling. 

The contestants stood around the scene in a confused stupor, with a number of ponies poking at the scattered remnants of their pies and pastries, seeming unable to process what had just happened. One of the judges offered what remained of a donut to a mare who was crying over a glass of spilled milk, and the offering seemed to soothe her pain, if only by a touch.

“What in the wide world of Equestria happened here?” Shining Armor asked. “And where is… Cady…”

The question was answered when the princes’ gaze moved to the corner of the hall. Princess Celestia was happily chewing on a large caramel apple, her muzzle coated in whipped cream, cherry cordial sauce, and sprinkles. Like some terrible offering to an insatiable deity of confection, the floor around both of them was littered with the crumbs and wrappers of a hundred saccharine sacrifices, some politely unwrapped, others shredded with tooth marks and various signs of vicious carnage. Luna stood nearby with Mint Julep and her children, and the nocturnal Princess cackled with delight as she took another picture and her guests gaped at the sight in awe.

“Where is she putting it all?” Marigold asked. 

“I’ve heard of eating for two—” Mint Julep began.

“Hundred,” Tumbleweed added.

“—but this is just crazy,” Mint finished. 

“I did say that an alicorn’s cravings are not to be taken lightly,” Luna noted.

“I’m more worried about Princess Cadence,” Constance said. “If I tried to eat that many eclairs, I’d be sick for a whole year.”

“Not to worry. I am sure both Princesses will be fine, once they have had their fill,” Luna casually said while snapping another picture.

“Uh...” managed Shining Armor, reaching out to restrain his spouse. “Dear?”

“Don’t,” said Bean, giving him a solid tug back. “You’ll lose a hoof. Really, I haven’t seen an alicorn go into pastry like that since...”

Bean stopped talking, and eventually Shining Armor turned to look at him. “Pregnancy test?” he asked.

“Pregnancy test,” said Bean. “Once she’s done eating. If she gets done eating.”





From the other corner of the ballroom, Flint allowed himself a contented grin, and he took a slow bite of the cupcake that he had pilfered before that fat wench of a princess and her nauseating niece had charged the desserts head-on. 

This little trip had been far more revelatory than he’d expected.

“Well, I suppose that’s the end of the competition,” Cozy Homes said, her gaze on the few shards of peppermint in her hooves that had survived the onslaught. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to spend much time in the archives, Flint.”

Flint’s grin grew. “The day was not a total loss. Future endeavors shall prove very… interesting.”

“Maybe your father can bring you back, once everything is cleaned up.” Cozy hesitated when a loud dragon’s roar rattled the windows, but she went on when she realized the roar was merely a stentorian belch from one of the princesses. “That might take a while, though.”

“Very interesting indeed,” Flint cackled.


 * *  ✹ * * 


Shining Armor paced the hallway in front of the infirmary, a worried scowl betraying his inner concerns. Cadence had finally finished her campaign against all cream puffs within smelling distance, but only because there wasn’t anything else to devour. Although she had licked a piece of pie off one of the contestants on the way out.

The poor mare had fainted, most probably thinking about her dire fate as dessert.

Anyway, once Cadence had realized the full extent of her rampage, she had willingly allowed herself to be led to Doctor Horsenpfeffer for a test, and now all there was to do was wait.

Wait, and worry. But only for Shining Armor. Baked Bean, for his part, was as cool as a cucumber, and his tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth while he scrubbed a stubborn streak of nougat that ran from his wife’s cutie mark to somewhere under her wing.

“I feel so horrible for the contestants,” Celestia said. “They all worked so hard, and then I came along and devoured everything.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it, love,” Bean offered. “None of the contestants got eaten, after all.” 

“I hear they determined the winner based on licked plates and who had the least amount of dessert remaining,” Trixie offered with a smirk. “And now nopony has to worry about leftovers.”

“That doesn’t help,” Celestia said flatly.

“Never fear, Your Highness. The Great and Powerful Trixie is an expert when it comes to apologies, and I’m nearly done with your ‘please forgive me for ruining the competition’ letter,” Trixie said with a quick flourish of the quill in her magic. “None will question your sincerity or your remorse after this.”

“What’s taking so long?” Shining Armor asked as he marched past the door once more. “I thought these things were supposed to be fast!”

“Those cheap tests from the corner market are, but they’re not very accurate,” Trixie said. “Doctor Horsenpfeffer is probably doing a blood test.”

“And how do you know that?” Bean asked with a sly grin.

“I’m not at liberty to say.” Trixie stuck her nose in the air and turned away from Bean. “Just trust that Trixie knows how these things work.”

Just then, the door to the infirmary swung open, and Doctor Horsenpfeffer emerged with a petulant looking Cadence right behind her. Her wings still had a smattering of sprinkles stuck in them, and it looked like several pieces of taffy had somehow gotten stuck in her mane.

“Well, I just finished with the metal detection spell, and you’ll all be happy to know that neither princess managed to ingest any cutlery. I thought for sure those missing spoons would be in there, though.” The good doctor paused, shrugged, then continued. “Of course, despite the mineral content, spoons are not a good source of prenatal nutrition.”

“But what about the test?” Shining went nose-to-nose with his wife, and he looked like he would explode. “What did the test say?” 

“Oh, Shiny,” Cadence softly whispered, and her hoof reached up to caress his cheek. “We’ve been trying so hard, and now…”

Shining pulled back slightly and gave Cadence a sad smile. “Hey, it’s okay. We’ll just try again.”

“Oh, I don’t intend on stopping, Shiny,” Cadence whispered into his ear. “We’re just going to have to be more careful for a few months until the birth.”

It took a moment for the meaning of Cadence’s statement to penetrate the thick guard’s head, but as it did so, his eyes widened and a huge smile took over his face. “Cady?! Are you really…”

“Yes!” Cadence laughed and sobbed with thick tears running down her cheeks. “I’m pregnant, Shiny! We’re going to have a foal!”

“What?! That’s...oh!” Shining pulled his wife into a tight hug and cheered over the cracks and pops that came when his wife hugged him back. “That’s wonderful news!”

“I believe you are one month along, give or take a week,” Doctor Horsenpfeffer added with a grin. “Congratulations, Your Highnesses.”

“Luna and Twilight had better be careful,” Bean quipped as he shared a kiss with Celestia. “Looks like there might be something in the water.”





Some distance away, Big Mac suddenly looked up from the tree he was harvesting. 

“Anything wrong, Mac?” asked Applejack, who began to look around at the cloudless sky. 

“Eeynope,” said Big Mac before returning to his task. “Just thought I heard something.”





“Wow! I can’t believe she ate the whole thing!” Pinkie exclaimed. “That must have been the most super-yummiest yurla ever!”

“When you’re right, you’re right, and you are most definitely right!” Cheese Sandwich replied. “I only wish I still had some to share with you.”

“Aw, that’s okay. I’m sure you’ll make more, and then we can share!” Pinkie said with a smile. 

A sudden shiver passed through both of the party-goers, and after a moment, Pinkie glanced over to Cheese. “Cheesy Sense?”

He nodded. “Pinkie Sense?”

“I’ve only felt a chill like that once before,” Pinkie said. “Whatever it is, it must be a real doozy!”

“But what could be so doozy that it would give both of us such a doozy of a doozy?” Cheese asked.

Pinkie started to reply, but then her gaze went to her tail. Cheese’s eyes followed hers, and when he saw what she saw, they both blushed in unison.

“Our tails are twined together,” Cheese said softly.

“Yeah,” Pinkie giggled. “So they are.”

 
 * *  ✹ * *