//------------------------------// // Are you not entertained? // Story: Star-Kissed: Go Get Laid, Twilight Sparkle! // by bronyheat //------------------------------// Later that same day An absolutely exhausted looking alicorn stepped outside into the night air lit by a glowing sign that read: “Ponyville Regional Medical Center”. Finding a nearby bench Twilight sat down and placed her head in her hooves. Why has everything in my life been total insanity these past few weeks? First Celestia… and her sister Luna in Canterlot. Then that whole incident with Chrysalis in the Crystal Empire, and then my own throne for buck's sake! And now my friends are trying to get me laid... Do ponies around here only have shagging on the brain?!  Twilight let out a long sigh as she continued to think.  Her thoughts fled as a dark blue alicorn took a seat next to her. They both sat quietly for a moment on the cold bench before Luna finally broke the silence. “If you wish to talk about it, I will listen. I’ve heard stories about the week you’ve had so far: Mobbed by nobles in Canterlot, Chrysalis and Celestia entwined in passion on your throne, and accidentally wounding an exotic dancer? Tell me, Twilight Sparkle, when you first moved to Ponyville, did you expect your life would be so… entertaining?” Suddenly Luna’s eyes lit up and she shot out a wing pulling a surprised looking Twilight into a hug. “Dearest Twilight, did you hear that?! I went a whole bit without using the royal pronouns!” Twilight recovered quickly. “You did. Those lessons with Fluttershy must be really helping.” she did her best to smile softly up at the Princess of the Night. “I’m proud of you.” “Thank you dearest Twilight, your praise means a great deal to u- to me.” She gripped the wing a bit tighter around the lavender alicorn. “But I did not come here to discuss my lessons, but to see if you have learned one from this most amusing day.” Twilight looked up at Luna with no lack of confusion. “Learn a lesson? What lesson was there to learn? That everyone in Equestria apparently wants to go around bucking each other’s brains out?!” she covered her mouth with a hoof and gasped, “I’m sorry Luna, I didn’t mean to say-” Luna cut her off with a gentle laugh. “Twilight, you witnessed my participation in the, what do they call it now? ‘Calamity in Canterlot’, do you really think uncouth language would have any impact on us?” She suddenly pulled Twilight closer so her head was against the larger alicorn’s chest. “Be calm, Twilight and speak your mind." Twilight blushed as she listened to Luna's powerful heartbeat and relaxed into her soft, warm fur. “I don.. I guess I just don’t understand, well any of it.” Twilight responded truthfully. Luna let out a sigh. “Twilight. The actions of those around you are not a devious plot to destroy your sanity. While Chrysalis and my elder sister have been, shall we say, immature about recent events; these actions have been born out of hearts filled with love and companionship, not malice.” Luna paused for a moment as her horn lit brightly, concentrating in silence she pushed her focus and magic into the moon as it slowly began to rise above the horizon. Once it was in place she nodded satisfactorily and looked back down at the young alicorn. “The point we wish to make is that your friends are worried about you and are trying to help you, not torment you. We- I’ve received at least a few letters from some of your friends talking about how you’ve returned to that isolationism you worked so hard to grow out of these many wonderful years.”  Luna gave Twilight a perceptive glance. “I too know the desire to isolate oneself when those around you act upon things you yourself cannot seem to obtain or understand… It leads to dark places.” "But, Luna, its all just been so embarrassing and awkward, and I-" Luna used a free hoof to pull Twilight’s face up to hers.  “Twilight Sparkle, get yourself a special somepony, write back to Celestia, and reconnect with your friends. If you don't... I’m locking you in our pleasure dungeon for a week.” “Ple-plea-pleasure dungeon?” The small alicorn sputtered her face now red-hot. Luna laughed at Twilight’s reaction. “Oh indeed! It hasn’t seen use since our return, but I fully intend to open it up again at some point. Seems some ponies around here could use loosening up.” With that the Princess of the Night gently moved Twilight off of her and got to her hooves. She gave a bow to the smaller princess and spread out her wings. “Fare thee well, Twilight Sparkle. We hope to receive a letter soon about your exploits in friendship and love.” And with that Luna took off into the night sky, leaving Twilight alone with her thoughts. Well, buck...