//------------------------------// // "I'm a girl?" // Story: The Hourglass Always Stays // by Elusive Phoenix //------------------------------// “Well, Equestria saved once again, I’m still a wanted criminal by Celestia, Luna still thinks I’m hot, and escaped capture in the TARDIS. I’d say we’re still alive!” The Doctor bounced around the room happily. “The part when all the Cyber Ponies fell over was the best!” Ditzy Doo, the Doctor’s assistant, replied with excitement. “Yes, well, disabling the limbs is quite easy when you have the right keys!” he said as he lifted a keycard out of his jacket pocket. “Alright, back to two thousand and seven, the year Luna was banned. I have a feeling-” he suddenly screamed in pain, and fell to his knees. “Doctor!” Ditzy rushed to his side. “No… no…” “What’s happening Doctor?” “No, no, NO, NO, NO! I wasn’t finished yet!” He screamed, causing Ditzy to recoil. “Doctor?” “This is too early… earlier than usual… why?... Help me up.” Ditzy did as told. The Doctor made his way around the TARDIS controls, pressing buttons, pulling levers, “Derpy, pull that lever, will you?” She did as told. The Doctor groaned again, putting a hoof on his chest. “Doctor, really, what’s going on!” Ditzy put her hoof on his shoulder, concerned greatly. “In a second Ditzy.” He trotted away from Ditzy, and landed the TARDIS landed smoothly (which Ditzy found odd), and the Doctor made his way to the door. “Ditzy, I need you to step outside, and tell me what you see.” Ditzy complied, and left the TARDIS. “It’s… Ponyville… and we’re… Doctor, what are we doing at my house?” “I’m so sorry Ditzy. I may, or may not see you again… but you won’t recognize me… But I’ll recognize you…” “Doctor, what’s going-!” “I am so, so sorry Ditzy… I’m regenerating…” He closed the door. “What? Doctor?” The TARDIS began to fade away. “DOCTOR!?!?” Ditzy attempted to open the door, but it was locked. She pounded on it, then backed away. The TARDIS was gone. “...Doctor?” “I’m so sorry… so sorry,” the Doctor whispered to himself. He walked over to the TARDIS controls and removed his jacket. “Just that time again… that horrible time…” He said, and began to glow slightly. “It happened so fast. Faster than normal. But I can’t stop it. Goodbye… old friend… good run-” And the cycle continued. __________ The glow dissipated from the Doctor’s body. And the TARDIS was on fire. Again. “Ahh, brand new me! What do we got here!” He pranced around the burning TARDIS, testing his new legs, and making weird shapes with his mouth. “Huh, my legs feel weird.” Not the “new legs” kind of weird, but “completely unknown feeling” weird. Something is missing. Ears? No, he could hear the TARDIS exploding. Nose? No, he could smell smoke. Wait… He bent over and looked under his belly, “Am I missing my-” His head came back up, shocked beyond belief. “No! Am I-?” He was able to notice the voice difference over the sound of flying/burning TARDIS. He picked up a slightly cracked mirror off the floor, and stared into it in shock. “I'M A GIRL?!" The Doctor was now a light blue pony with a mane that looked similar colors to the universally famous 'Colgate', "And still not ginger! Oh, but it seems a unicorn too. Huh, how about that-” An explosion threw the new female Doctor into some nearby railing. “Note to self: STOP REGENERATING MID-FLIGHT! The regeneration causes radiation fluxes!” she said to herself, and tried to stabilize the small, bigger on the inside, police box, and failed, due to… timey wimey, wibbly wobbly stuff that most ponies wouldn't understand. “Fasten your seatbelts, we seem to be having a bit of turbulence! Thank you for flying TARDIS airways!” I LOVE it when I make a new line like that! she thought. Or have I said that before? Another explosion rocked the TARDIS. The Doctor flipped a few more switches, pushed a few buttons, and turned a few knobs. The TARDIS did not yield, and crashed into a nearby house. __________ Pipsqueak woke from his slumber after hearing a loud crash downstairs. Hoping pirates had accidentally crashed into his house, he hurried down the stairs. But instead of a pirate ship inside his living room, he found a strange blue box laying on the ground, with a sign on the top that said, “Police Public Call Box”. What is a ‘police box’ doing in my living room? he thought to himself. He walked toward the box cautiously, but the sound of his hoofsteps alerted what was inside, and the side of the box opened… __________ “*Cough* I really, *cough* need to put some seatbelts in here!” The Doctor said as she climbed across the sideways TARDIS, coughing through the smoke. She reached the doors and opened them, revealing the planet beyond. Also known as the house of Pipsqueak. The Doctor waved the smoke out of her vision and walked out onto the wooden floor of the house, coughing in a fit, and fell to her knees. When she regained her ability to rise, she stood and looked forward. Meeting the eyes of a seven year old colt… __________ “Oh! Hello there!” The mysterious mare said to Pipsqueak, “Who are you?” Pip stood there, his mind buzzing with questions: How did she get here, why is there a box in my living room, why does that box look bigger on the inside? “Excuse me, but I asked you a question. Who are you?” The blue unicorn said with impatience. Pip shook his head, “I’m Pipsqueak. Who are you?” “Well, judging by the trajectory of the sun and the moon," The pony said, looking around the dark room, barely lit by the moonlight, "I’d say I’m The Doctor!” “Doctor who?” “Just The Doctor!” The ‘Doctor’ glanced at her flank, “The same cutie mark? Odd… but I’m not complaining… Do you have any celery, I have a sudden craving!” Pip nodded. “Mind if I have some?” Pip shook his head. “Thanks!” The Doctor trotted to the kitchen, and grabbed multiple stalks of celery and began to chew. Pip followed the odd pony into his kitchen, lit a candle, and asked, “Who… are you?” “I said, I’m the Doctor!” “I know, but… what is that box? And why are you in my house eating the celery?” The Doctor halted her chewing and looked at the confused little colt. “’That box' would be the TARDIS: Time and relative dimension in space. And I am REALLY liking this celery! I used to wear it for poisonous gases, but now I can just eat it whenever I want!” She finished the stalk and placed another one in the side of her mouth. “I think I’ll go with this look! Nah, I need to be a stallion for that to look cool. And I STILL can’t believe I’m a girl! How is that even possible?” She gasped, dropping the celery on the ground, “It must be something to do with my fast regeneration!” She grabbed the stalk off the floor, replaced it in her mouth, and grabbed Pip by the shoulders, “Any freaky cracks in your wall?” “Uh, no.” “Any freaky things? Noises, moving objects, slight amnesia?” “No?” “Blast! I need something to test this new body on!” “New body?” The Doctor released Pip’s shoulders, “I’m a time lord, I regenerate bodies when I die, and become a new pony! Except this is the first time I’ve been a mare!” She pranced in a circle, “And I’m actually quite liking it!” Then she smiled devilishly, "There might be some things I can do with this..." Then her face changed to disgust, "Actually, never mind..." “… riiiiiiiiiight. So, umm, why are you still in my house?” “Oh, sorry, do you own the house?” The Doctor looked at Pip inquisitively. “Well, no, my dad-” “As I thought! Speaking of which, where is your father?” The Doctor took the unfinished celery out of her mouth and threw it behind her. “It’s seven in the morning. He’s at work.” The Doctor glanced at a nearby clock, “Ah, yes. Work. A normal pony’s Hell.” “What do you mean by ‘normal pony’?” “I’m an alien! I’m not a normal pony!" she replied. "But I'm a male alien... so why am I a flippin' girl?” She continued under her breath. “Point made. What are you doing now?” Pip asked as the Doctor trotted back to the ‘TARDIS’. “Well, from the last time I regenerated in a flying TARDIS, I’d say I’d have to give it a test run right about…” The TARDIS began to make odd noises, “… Now!” The Doctor dove into the TARDIS, “Umm, what was your name again?” She peeked back out at Pipsqueak. “Pipsqueak. But most ponies call me Pip.” “Alright then Pipsqueak! I’ll be back in a few minutes!” The Doctor entered the TARDIS, then poked her head out again, “Or nine years! I’m sorry if it takes that long!” “Where are you going?” The Doctor poked her head out again, “I have no idea! ALLONS-Y!!!” The Doctor slammed the doors to the TARDIS, leaving Pip dazed and confused about what just happened. Then the TARDIS began to fade once more. “Doctor?” Pip asked. The TARDIS faded completely. __________ “I’ve used ‘allons-y’ too many generations! I need another line! Not Geronimo, that was too lame. I need something exciting! Oh! Andiamo! Yes that would work nicely!” The Doctor trotted around the still smoking TARDIS, pushing buttons and pulling levers, “Andiamo! Allons-y in Italian. I like that! Andiamo, assistant! Let’s go, andiamo! Allons-y, geronimo, andiamo! I hope I meet a pony named Andy! But we’re in Equestria, so they don’t really have human names.” The Doctor landed the TARDIS in the in the usual crash-y landing and trotted out the doors. “Huh. We’re still in the same place!” The Doctor turned toward the TARDIS and stroked the corner, “What’s wrong with you, girl? You know I don’t like being in the same place twice in a row!” “What are you doing in my house!?” A strong Trottingham yelled behind the Doctor. She turned to face the owner of the building, “Sorry sir! It seems my box is having some difficulties- Pipsqueak!” The Doctor smiled in recognition of the now fully grown stallion that was once Pipsqueak. “Do I know you?” The now adult Pipsqueak stood at the center of a stairwell. “Crap, I did it again, didn’t I? Blasted machine!” She turned back to the TARDIS, “Sorry girl. But please try harder next time!” “Excuse me?” Pip asked. “Sorry! I’m the Doctor! Or as some call me: Mister Whooves! And it’s ‘Whooves’ not ‘Hooves’.” “Rings some kind of bell. But why are you called ‘mister?’ if you’re a mare?” “Yes, well, regeneration seemed a bit odd this time!” She examined at her legs and flank. “The bells are ringing, but they all sound dull. Where have I met you?” Pip asked inquisitively. “Oh, you were, oh, six or seven years old when I saw you the first time.” Pip’s jaw dropped. “Always the recognition reaction!” The Doctor said smiling. “You just left me there!” Pip trotted from the stairs to the Doctor. “I said I’d be back in maybe nine years!” “It’s been twelve!” “Oh, so that makes you… twenty five, wow!” “Nineteen.” “Brilliant!” “I waited until I was fifteen, and you never showed up! So I eventually forgot about you!” “Sorry! TARDIS gets a bit carried away sometimes.” “Seems that way.” “Pip?” A voice said from upstairs, “What are you doing? Come back to bed!” “Oh,” The Doctor looked at Pip with a sly smile, “You got a girlfriend?” “Yeah?” Pip said blushing, “What about it?” “Nothing!” The Doctor said, continuing to smile. “Pip, what are you doing?” A mare began to trot down the stairs, but stopped when she reached the center, “I didn’t know we had a guest!” The Doctor looked over the new mare. A purple-ish gray unicorn with a blond mane. Her cutie mark was seven stars. Her main was frazzled, as if she tossed and turned in her sleep last night. Then the Doctor looked at Pipsqueak, who had a similar problem with his mane. Then the Doctor put two and two together. “Well, it seems my over thinking brain has given me too much information!” Her sly smile returned, wider this time, and she looked between the two of them. Pip and the mare realized their predicament and brushed their manes down with their hooves. “Well, who would this nice young lady be?” The Doctor asked. “Oh,” Pip said, “This is Dinky. She’s my girlfriend.” “Figured.” “Nice to meet you, miss…?” Dinky began. “Whooves. But I prefer to be called ‘The Doctor’.” “Well, The Doctor it is!” “Right, well, anypony experiencing any paranormal issues, I’m here to investigate and test my legs!” Dinky was creeped out, and her face showed it. “Actually,” Pipsqueak spoke up, “Dinky’s been having some trouble sleeping at night, thinking she’s hearing voices!” “Brilliant!” The Doctor trotted up to Dinky, “Where do the voices come from?” “I’m fine! No voices in my head!” “No, they are not in your head. Where are they coming from?” “My window.” “Right! Do you live here, or do you live at your own house?” “Actually, I live with my mom. She’s kind of crazy, so I’m there to keep her in reality!” “I’m alright with that! I’m great with crazy ponies!” “Okay, then. Pip, should I trust her?” “I dunno! I only met her once before, and she did nothing but eat my celery!” “And it was quite good, in fact! You have every right not to trust me, but even if you don’t, I’ll follow you home in the dark!” The three ponies remained silent for a moment. “That came out very awkward, didn’t it?” “Yes it did.” “Right, well, may I examine your window?” “If it makes you not follow me home at night, yeah, sure.” “Brilliant! Allons- oh, wait… I mean, Andia-” “Wait,” Dinky interrupted, “What were you saying?” “Andiamo, but you didn’t let me finish!” “No, the other thing!” “Allons-y?” Dinky gasped, “Did you know him too? Is he actually real?” “Who?” “My mom says that she used to ‘travel the stars’ with a pony who said ‘allons-y’!” The Doctor gulped, “Umm, yeah, he’s real…” “Wait…” Pip said, “But didn’t you say that before you teleported away in this… blue box?” The Doctor cleared her throat, “Well, sort of-” “And you said it was a time… machine…” Pip’s jaw dropped again. “What?” Dinky asked. “It flippin' works!” Pip pointed to the TARDIS, “That thing went from when I met her the first time straight to now!” Pip began to bounce around in excitement, then grabbed Dinky by the shoulders, “Do you know what this means, Dinky?” “No-” “It means that this mare has a WORKING time machine!” Now it was Dinky’s turn for her jaw to drop, and Pip stood smiling into her face. When she regained consciousness, she put her hooves on Pip’s shoulders and began to bounce excitedly, “A FREAKIN’ TIME MACHINE!” She began to scream in fangirl-ism. “Yes, we’re all excited, but can we PLEASE look at your window in the case that I have to save the world?” She stopped bouncing, “Save the world?” “You know, possible planet invasion, ghost attacks, out of control A.I.’s, you get the idea.” “Wait…” Dinky thought for a moment, If she has a time machine, and saves the planet…Mom always went on about how they saved the planet at different points in time, and how he said he was… Dinky gasped, and the Doctor cringed, that he was regenerating his body into a different shape! “OH CELESTIA!!!” She yelled, recoiling in realization. “What?” Asked Pip. “This is the Doctor!” She said, mouth agape. “Yeah?” Pip said confused. “THE Doctor!” “I’m not sure I understand-” “I am quickly losing interest in your window-” The Doctor said, yawning. “The pony my mom rambles about was called the Doctor, and that he regenerates his body when he dies!” Dinky grabbed his shoulders. “So we’re talking to a dead pony?” He asked confused. “No, he changes his body to continue living, renewing his youth!” “Only if I don’t die too fast!” The Doctor pointed out. “THIS is the Doctor?” Pip said, starting to understand the situation. “Yes!” “But this is a mare!” “New body Pip! New body!” Dinky replied in annoyance that her boyfriend couldn't remember what was just said. “Can I please examine your window now?” The Doctor asked, smiling fakily. “You have to apologize to my mom first! You just left her on the street!” Dinky pointed at the Doctor in anger. “I didn’t really know what to do! We were flying, so I had to land somewhere quick, and get her away from me! I panicked! My body isn’t the only thing that changes! My personality and abilities change too!” The Doctor lifted her hoof and examined it, as if to make sure she was, in fact, a different pony. “What do you mean by ‘abilities’?” Pip asked. “Well, I seem to be a unicorn now, and correct me if I’m wrong, but I should be able to use magic!” “Right, you were an Earth pony before…” Dinky looked to the side in thought, recalling the legend her mother had told her. “WILL SOMEPONY TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON!?!?!?” Pip yelled in anger and confusion. “Ah, yes. In a nutshell: I’m an alien who took Dinky’s mother on adventures through time and space saving the universe!” Pip was speechless. “Right, if we’re all settled, may we PLEASE go check your window for dimension breaking activities?” The Doctor said in annoyance.