Teen Titans: Enmity in Equestria!

by CrossOverLord

Chapter 2 - PROBLEMS IN PARADISE?

Hustling and bustling.

The island city of Manehattan was always busy with the stomping hooves and spinning wheels of ponies and their carriages, whether day or night, rain or shine, peace or the latest apocalypse to nearly befall their fragile, equine nation of Equestria. Being the economic and cultural hub of the Equestrian East Coast with enough of both bits and appeal to have given Canterlot a shiner or two since its founding had that effect on the local populace.

But, as her eyes adjusted to the midday iteration of her former mentor’s sun as she and her friends exited the cavernous and exceedingly dimly lit theatre, Twilight Sparkle could not help but take notice of something she found extremely odd, even for The Big Orange.

To her left and to her right, the traffic on the road was as congested with carriages as her nose was with snot after that ‘noodle incident’ last Hearth’s Warming, and even more clamorous than the various musical numbers of the play they just saw.

“Huh. Well ain’t that the oddest thing,” Applejack said to Twilight’s right, voicing the thought Twilight suspected was on all her friends’ minds.

“I know, right!?” Pinkie sounded from the right of Applejack. “Manehattan’s always go, go, go, so how come now it’s all slow, slow, slow? We weren’t watching ‘Rats’ for that long… unless…” Pinkie Pie put a hoof to her jaw and looked like she did whenever she was in deep thought (or whatever counted as ‘deep thought’ for her) before gasping loud enough to be heard in the Crystal Empire and grabbing Applejack by her shoulders and shaking her like a madmare. “Quick! AJ! What time does your watch have!?”

After Applejack’s eyes stopped spinning and realigned, she shook her head clear and looked nonplussed. “Uhhh… Pinkie Pie hun… I don’t carry no watch with me. Never have and probably never will. ‘Sides--” Applejack firmly pushed Pinkie away from her with both forehooves before pointing to a clock mounted high on the wall to the group’s right. “That clock there says 12:00 P.M. We’ve only been inside for about an hour and a half.”

Pinkie Pie’s eyes darted over to the clock, and when they spotted the minute hand ticking off to 12:01, she wiped away the sweat that had been pooling on her brow like a lake of salty water and threw it behind her, much to the dismay of Rarity, who would have freaked out and fainted if Twilight hadn’t conjured up a barrier to shield her beautiful mane from harm. “Whew! That’s a relief! For a second or two there, I thought we had fallen into a time warp to a thousand years in the future! Or the past! In fact--” Her thoughtful posture and countenance returned. “Just how old IS Manehattan anyways?”

Twilight and her other friends save Fluttershy and Pinkie groaned in annoyance and face-hoofed.

Twilight was compelled to ask Pinkie why in the world she would think they had fallen into a timewarp of all things, but then she had remembered all that recent business with Starlight and figured Pinkie Pie’s already overactive imagination was going into overdrive after she had relayed what had happened to her friends.

As Twilight made a mental note never to go into as much detail as she had done when filling Pinkie in on stuff ever again, she saw Rainbow Dash take to hovering a few feet in the air and slowly make her way to the street.

“Rainbow, wherever are you going?” Rarity asked after the cyan pegasus.

“Relax, Rares, I’m just gonna ask somepony what the big deal is,” the rainbow-maned athlete called back with a dismissive wave of her hoof.

Rainbow Dash continued on to a carriage painted with the solid yellow and black and white checkerboard pattern of a taxi-cab. She asked one of the pair of massive earth stallions yoked to the carriage, big enough to probably go hoof to hoof with Big Mac, “Hey, buddy! Why the hold up?”

“Haven’t ya heard? They’re having the inaugural game at the new hoofball stadium at 1:00 PM today. What was it called again?”

“Star Field, Butch,” the other stallion attached to the cab said.

“Yeah, that’s right, Biff. Star Field. Yup. Half the ponies in town are headin’ there now. I’ve been going up and down these streets for years, and I ain’t never seen traffic this bad, even during rush hours.”

“A hoofball game!? New stadium!?” Rainbow Dash asked, eyes widening before narrowing in suspicion. “You’re not pulling my leg, are ya?”

“The only thing I pull is taxi-cabs, miss. Well, that and the odd shipment of hay, oats, or both, but that’s a side gig, dig?”

Rainbow Dash looked confused. “Uhhh… dig what?”

The other stallion, Biff, coughed into his hoof and said something that Rainbow wouldn’t have caught if she hadn’t spent years trying to decipher Pinkie’s celeritous speech. Something that sounded like, ‘Dumb Tourist.’

Chuckling nervously, probably because he caught what his buddy had said, Butch panickingly spouted, “The Manehattan Oranges and The Las Pegasus Lakers are playin’!”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes, which had narrowed upon Biff, widened again at that. “What!? The Oranges and Lakers are gonna throw down!?”

“Yup. And, if all the sports reporters’ gabbin’ got any weight behind it, it’s gonna be an even bigger hoof-biter than the last Super Bowl!”

At that, Rainbow Dash let out a very Pinkie Pie-esque gasp that the party pony in question would have smiled at.

Butch nodded. “Yep. So, now you understand why the roads are all at sixes and--”

With quicker acceleration than Butch had ever seen of anypony, the rainbow-maned pegasus he was talking to jetted away to a group of mares standing outside the entrance to Mareway Theatre. From the looks of how excited her movements were, he probably would have been able to pick up the conversation, if the racket of who knew how many blocks of unmoving carriages hadn’t drowned it out.

While Butch was disappointed he couldn’t hear whatever it was they were saying, it was probably for the best. After all, he was far more disappointed in his buddy, and he’d hate for the mares to listen in on his own conversation he was about to have with him.

“Biff, did you get hit in the head while I wasn’t looking!? What were you thinkin’!? You could have blown our cover!”

“Blown it? Me? You’re the dummy who gave her my real name!”

“Oh yeah? Well that’s only cause you gave her my real name first, dummy!”

“That’s not how I remembered it. And better to be a dummy than a chowderhead who forgets that we’re supposed to be playin’ typical Manehattanites like we’s used to be and that we ain’t supposed to be all nice, courteous, and wimpy like, especially not to the ponies we’re shadowing!”

Butch’s hoof met his forehead and slowly traversed the length of his muzzle. “Biff buddy, you read RD’s files. That mare looked like she was fixin’ to clobber ya. Now tell me, what good would all that attention that would come down on us if you two went at it with words or, even worse, hooves, bring to our cover?”

Biff opened his big mouth, but before he could get a word in, he closed it back up and tilted his head to the side, looking as though he were trying to think (a monumental task for him, of which Butch was sure).

Finally, after several moments Butch found to be annoying, Biff’s head tilted right back up and the look on his face hardened to normal. “You still acted like a wimp.”

Butch’s hoof met his face again.

“Guys, guys, guys! You’ll never believe what I just found out!” Rainbow Dash proclaimed at the top of her lungs after dashing back to her friends with her trademarked swiftness™.

“Oh, oh, oh!” Pinkie Pie said, bouncing as she raised a forehoof high into the air. “Is it that Sapphire Shores AND the true Princess of Pop, The Artist formerly known as Countess Coloratura but now just known as Rara, both met at the Manehattan train station earlier today and decided to throw an impromptu charity concert for sick puppies, kitties, and baby alligators while they’re waiting for their late train to arrive and that’s why Manehattan’s all stop, stop, stop instead of all clop, clop, clop!?”

“Better!” Rainbow Dash said, mentally patting herself on the back of the head for catching that. Well… most of that. “They’re throwing the first hoofball game at this new stadium called Star Field at 1:00 today and it’s between the Oranges and Lakers!”

At this, Applejack’s ears perked up. “A hoofball game!? New stadium!? The Oranges and Lakers!?”

“I know, right!? That’s almost the exact same reaction I had! And, get this: apparently, if all the sports reporters’ gabbin’ has any weight behind it, today’s game is set to be an even bigger hoof biter than the last Super Bowl!”

At this, Applejack let out a very Pinkie-Pie-esque gasp that the party pony would have smiled at, and did, because she was right there. She turned to Twilight and asked, “Twi, can we go!? Pretty please, huh!?” with a Pinkie-Pie-esque bounce that the party pony smiled even wider at.

Twilight raised a skeptical brow. “Uhhh... why? How’s a hoofball game going to help us figure out why the map sent all of us here so we can get back home quicker? And why are you of all pony’s acting so… animated? You’ve never been this interested in sports!”

Rainbow Dash fixed Twilight with a skeptical brow of her own. “Oh, yeah? Well how was hoofing it all the way down to Mareway from our hotel room on the other side of town to catch some posey play going to help us figure out what’s wrong with this town? Well… more wrong than usual.” She glanced back at Biff, who apparently was in a heated discussion with Butch. She hoped the latter was grilling the former for being such a colossal clod.

Applejack crashed to the floor mid bounce and grabbed hold of Twilight’s leg. “It was so bad Twi. SOOO bad. I’m desperate! I’ll take anything with even a smidge of action and awesome in it to take my mind off that cheesy play! Anything!”

“Rainbow Dash! Applejack! How dare you two!? That play was one of the most beautiful, heartwarming testaments to pony thespian propensity my eyes have ever dared to witness! Certainly not--” She made the air quotes gesture with her hooves. “--posey. OR cheesy.”

Rainbow and AJ rolled their eyes with a synchronicity the casual onlooker would most certainly think was practiced (and which Pinkie Pie suspected truly was).

“Why, you’re right as daylight, Rarity, hun.” Applejack said.

“It was corny,” Rainbow Dash said with an assured grin.

“And campier than half the bad guys we’ve had to wrassle with.” Ignoring Rarity’s shocked gasp, Applejack focussed her full attention back to Twilight. “So can we go, huh, Twilight!? Pretty please, pretty please, pretty please!? I’ll be your friend!”

Twilight looked at Applejack in bemusement. “But you’re already my--”

She was interrupted by AJ and RD both choosing to let out sighs of exasperation in perfect stereo (Pinkie Pie now being over 60% percent sure that they had practiced being so in sync for ocassions such as this).

“Oh Sweet Celestia and for the love of Faust!” Rainbow Dash proclaimed. “What do we have to do to make you see the golden opportunity that just dropped into our laps!?”

“While I ain’t one to blaspheme like Rainbow, she’s got a mighty fine point. I mean, think about it, Twi! Yeah, this turn of events is like Heaven with a capital ‘H’ for a couple of rough and tumble types like me and Rainbow, but what if, maybe, this here hoofball game is why the map brought us here yesterday?”

“What? That’s crazy,” Twilight said with a disbelieving look.

“Is it really?” Rainbow asked. “I mean, the map called me and Pinkie all the way across the ocean to Griffonstone just to get the ball rolling a little on getting griffonkind to give a care about each other, and I thought we were gonna fix that problem entirely in twenty-two minutes flat when we finally got there!”

Pinkie Pie shivered. “I still have nightmares about Arimaspi’s skeleton.”

“And the map sent me and Rarity here to The Big Orange to help Coco Pommel throw a play to help revive some long lost sense of community.” Applejack shrugged her shoulders. “So, why couldn’t the reason all of us are here have something to do with the game?”

“Yeah!” Rainbow agreed before flying all up into Twilight’s grille. “Plus, don’t you think it’s a little weird how we walked all over this island yesterday and didn’t find any clue as to why we’re here, but today, traffic’s gone crazy for miles because of some hoofball game none of us heard about until just now, yet it's such a big deal that the local rags can’t stop talking about how awesome it’s gonna be?”

“Oh… ummm… well… I knew about it,” Fluttershy said. When all the other pairs of eyes in the group fell on her, she hid behind her mane out of habit and said, “Uhhh… yesterday, while me and Rainbow were flying around looking for why the map told us to come here, I accidentally flew face first into this big banner that talked about it, this thrown away piece of newspaper with an article talking about it flew into my face, and I overheard a couple of ponies chewing bubblegum and talking about it outside of a saltlick I passed by… before they accidentally spit the gum into--”

“--your face?” Pinkie Pie interjected.

“No. My, uhm… hair.”

Rarity’s eyes widened in realization. “So THAT’S why you spent so long in the bathroom after we all gave up for the night!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Back it up!” Rainbow Dash said before hovering her face close enough to Fluttershy’s that she could see the beads of nervous sweat form on the timid mare’s forehead. “You knew all about this and you didn’t tell us? Why in the big wide world didn’t you tell us!? I’d mortgage my house just to get tickets for the PEANUT GALLERY to a game like this, and I don’t even know what a mortgage is! I just know it’s one of the most frightening things a pony can go through! Even more frightening than being a blank flank for your entire life!”

With nowhere else to back up to, since Rainbow Dash had made her step back into the wall opposite the clock AJ had shown Pinkie, Fluttershy anxiously said, “Well, uhhh… I tried to tell you all, but you were arguing so loudly about whether to go see ‘Rats’ today or visit Lady Friendship and, well, none of you… asked?”

Groaning over Fluttershy’s nervous chuckle, Rainbow Dash’s hoof met her face. After making sure that the sting was lingering alright, Rainbow Dash hovered back around and faced Twilight. “Anyways, can we go, Twilight!? Please, please, please, please, pretty please with gridiron on top!?”

“What about clothing iron? Or pig iron? Oh, oh, oh! What about--!?”

Before Pinkie could finish, a celeritous hoof from Rainbow Dash plugged up her mouth and muffled her speech beyond anypony’s ability to recognize (except for probably Pinkie herself). Looking back at Twilight, Rainbow asked, “So, how about it, Twi? Wanna make it up to me and AJ for dragging us here to see that corny play?”

As Rarity grumbled under her breath something that vaguely sounded like ‘cantankerous tomboy twits,’ and Pinkie Pie continued her (now thankfully unintelligible) rambling, Twilight sighed. “Well... much as I don’t like admitting it… I can’t really argue with your pretty solid logic about it likely being where the map says we have to go. It really does make a lot of sense.”

“But Twilight, dear!” Rarity said. “We can’t go to watch all those ruffians rambunctiously roughhousing! If we do, we’ll miss ‘Home on the Bayou’ at 12:30!”

“Sorry, Rarity. But this is the best lead we've gotten so far, and I don’t know about you, but I’d like to get back to Ponyville to make sure Spike hasn’t tried eating his room… again.”

Rarity’s lower lip rose to a pout and covered up her upper lip and her eyes began to water. “But… Twilight!” she whined.

Fortunately, before Rarity could cause a scene even over how especially uproarious Manehattan was being thanks to all the traffic, Applejack quickly trotted over to her and patted her on the shoulder. “Awww… cheer up, Rares. The hoofball game won’t be so bad. Dare I say, it’ll probably even be a little--” a sly smirk creeped onto the apple farmer’s face. “--glamorous.”

“Glamorous? Glamorous!? How can something so uncivil, so unrefined, so uncouth as hoofball possibly be glamorous!?”

“Rarity, dude, you’re acting like you’ve never been to a big sporting event before,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Rainbow Dash! You take that back! I am a Lady, and am most certainly not a du--” Rarity stopped midsentence and narrowed her eyes in suspicion upon Rainbow. “Wait… what are you getting at?”

“Hello! Press boxes much!? Front row seats!?” Rainbow said, throwing her forelegs up in the air in frustration.

“Rainbow’s right, Rares. Anypony who’s anypony in Manehattan is either gonna be plumped down in a press box or a front row seat to a game as big as this happening in their neck of the woods. Politicians. Big business ponies. Fashion designers. Fashion models. Performance artists. Bigwigs of all sorts’ll be there! The kind of ponies I know you’d like to jibber jabber your mouth off with till the rooster crows!”

Rainbow Dash’s hooves touched back down on the ground on the opposite side of Rarity from Applejack. She leaned in and whispered into the fashionista’s ear, “Maybe you’ll even find an eligible bachelor to sweep you off your hooves. Wink, wink.”

Rainbow Dash was barely able to pull her head back to a more natural position when Rarity jumped into the air and landed into a tall, proud posture. “Girls, whatever are we standing around here for!? To Star Field!”

With that, she reared up, whinnied in a primal way that the rest of the group knew she’d find most unladylike were she in her right state of mind, and took off at a gallop none of them knew beforehoof that she was capable of down the sidewalk before disappearing from sight upon turning left into a corner.

“Whoa, nelly! What’d you say that got her so gung-ho, RD?”

Rainbow Dash breathed onto a forehoof and nonchalantly rubbed it against her chest like a boss. “Eh. I just gave her a little motivational talk. Nothing too major.” She looked down from her hoof and looked back at where Rarity had last been seen. “So… how many bits you wanna bet she won’t realize she doesn’t know where she’s going and won’t be back for another minute? I’m putting down ten.”

“Then put me down for ten, too. ‘Cept, I’m betting she won’t be back for two minutes instead of one,” Applejack replied.

“I bet a hundred bits she’ll be back in a couple of seconds after I’m done with this sentence!” Pinkie Pie said.

Rainbow and AJ smirked deviously at their party pony friend and rubbed their hooves together most maliciously. In unison (raising Pinkie’s certainty that they had practiced such timing into the 70% regime), they said, “You’re on, Pink--”

However, before they could finish, Rarity peeked her head back over the corner she had turned to and grinned sheepishly. “Uhm… I don’t suppose any of you can point me to the proper direction of Star Field, can you?”

Before Rainbow or Applejack could grok the gravity of what had just happened, they heard Pinkie mock, in a sing-song voice no less, “Someponies owe me money...”

Grumbling, Applejack took off her hat and pulled out a sack of bits from within, while Rainbow just pulled out her own little money bag from her mane. Doing their best to ignore Pinkie’s grating giggling, and Twilight’s too when she decided to join in, they reached into their poor mare’s prada and plucked out the required coinage.

“Wowee! That sure is a bushel full of ponies!” Applejack shouted.

Her five friends, standing side by side with her at one of the ends of one of the entry/exit hallways at the top of a section of the stands, had to agree. They had been to many a ginormous gathering before, the largest being a tossup between The Friendship Games and Twilight’s coronation as Princess. But this? There must have been a hundred thousand ponies crowding Star Field, easy! Half the population of Manehattan! This not only blew all those other occasions out of the water, it did so with Vinyl Scratch’s acoustic system, and as any Ponyville native would agree, THAT was a compliment.

Speaking of sound, the idle chatter of the crowd of tens of thousands of ponies added up to such a bothersome, booming roar that Applejack’s five friends could barely hear her even though she had said what she had in her loudest outdoor voice.

“Oh, I most certainly concur!” Rarity yelled back.

“Yeah! You know the fire marshall’s gotta be real busy right about now!” Rainbow Dash yelled.

“Not half as busy as we’re gonna be trying to find some seats to sink into!” AJ yelled.

Indeed. The joint was packed like a can of what griffons liked to call sardines, or to use a pony/herbivore friendly term, packed like a can of spinach. Nowhere they looked could they see anything other than a moving, colorful, kaleidoscopic array of ponyfolk chatting up a storm without the game having even started yet.

The level and combination of sheer sight and sound soon disoriented and frightened Fluttershy to the point where the cowardly mare hid behind Rarity and her sequined jersey. The canary pegasus closed her eyes, trying to think of anything more calming than being in such a chaotic, crazy place.

She quickly settled on thinking about the last hour. She thought of how, after Rarity had stormed off only to return and ask where the stadium was, they got the directions to it from some ponies on the street, only to have to hoof it back to their hotel once the fashionista realized she wasn’t dressed for the occasion. She thought of how, after they had reluctantly gone back, Rarity had spent the next fifteen minutes arguing with Applejack and Rainbow Dash about what to wear, before she eventually compromised with them on the bedazzled jersey she then hastily put together before doing her hair up in a ponytail to look properly recreational. And she thought of how they all had to gallop to make it to the ticket booth in time, only to find out they had all left their money back at the hotel and all the tickets had long been sold out... the stallion manning the booth letting them all in free of charge, though, once he saw that Twilight was a princess.

Yes. Fluttershy found the stadium to be so scary that all the aforementioned stress of the past hour was a soothing melody to her in comparison.

Things didn’t get any easier on her when she heard somepony shout, “Sweet Celestia! Is that a princess, mommy!?”

She reopened her eyes and looked up to find that a gaggle of ponies -- half stallions and colts with fancy hats, and the other half mares and fillies with upperclass bonnets (though they were all clad in jerseys) -- had somehow surrounded Twilight and were accosting her, enthusiastically asking her question after question over her protests.

“What’s it like being an alicorn!?”

“Do you have any servants!? Mine are kind of lame!”

“Can you sign my flank!?”

Fluttershy looked on in horror as the gaggle, apparently not happy by Twilight’s hurried responses, then proceeded to grab her and drag her off to parts unknown.

“Somepony! Anypony! HEEELLLPPP!” Twilight cried out.

“Twilight!” Rainbow Dash shouted, already hovering in place and preparing to take off after her before Applejack placed a hoof on her shoulder that brought her back down.

“Don’t sweat yourself, Dash! I got her! Here!” She took off her stetson, revealing the bundled lariat of rope she always kept on her person for emergency rodeo contests and just plain emergencies like this. “Just get back and hold onto my hat a sec! I’ll get Twi back in the next!”

With a determined grimace--and feeling way more exhilaration in the single moment it took her to do so than the hour and a half of watching Rats--Applejack bit down on the lasso and focussed on the quickly moving gaggle and her captive friend. Then, using her teeth and her head to twirl it high in the air around herself, she made her move and hurled the lasso right where she wanted it to go, right over Twilight’s horn. Then, with all her might, she heaved and reeled her back in like she was trying to stop a rampaging steer.

She succeeded, of course, but a little more than she was bargaining for. See, she'd figured with the way the gaggle of ponies was moving that they would cling on with great strength once she tugged. Far greater strength than they ultimately ended up holding onto her with. So, when she pulled her back, it ended up being with such unintended force that Twilight knocked into her, the both of them knocked into Rainbow Dash, the three of them into Fluttershy, the four of them into Pinkie Pie, and the five of them into Rarity.

To make things worse, the six of them then found themselves quite uncontrollably and quite painfully tumbling down the remainder of the very hard, very abrasive, very owie set of concrete stadium steps they were on to the bottom of the stands like a big, technicolor, pony snowball. They only came to a stop when they finally impacted against the small wall meant to keep ponies from easily falling into the actual playing field, hard enough that Applejack, who had somehow had the grave misfortune of being at the bottom of the snowball once it hit bottom, felt it crack against her back. Or maybe that was just her back cracking.

In any event, with her brain still rattling inside her skull, and her eyes seeing apples colored like gold and silver stars, the sounds from the stadium rightly didn’t seem nearly as bothersome to her ears as before and she figured her friends would agree.

So that was something at least.

Now, if her friends could have only kindly gotten off her and let her see daylight again, that would have been an even sweeter turn of events. Such was the state of their pain, however, that all they could do was give voice to it by muttering ow, owie, ouch, ouchie, and my leg! over and again, much like how all Applejack could do was repeat my everything! in response to her pain.

As the seconds ticked by and the agony departed enough, however, Rainbow Dash who had the (relative) fortune of ending up on top of the snowball by the time it stopped was the first to break this pattern by saying, “Applejack! Can you hear me!? Wherever you are down there!?”

After several more seconds of recovery, Applejack managed to gather herself long enough to say, “Clear and loud!”

“Isn’t… isn’t that supposed to be the other way around?”

“I say can’t rightly, Dash Rainbow! I say can’t rightly!”

She heard Rainbow Dash groan more in frustration than pain by her reckoning, and what sounded like Dash smacking her hooves against her face, which probably wasn’t healthy considering the enmority of the tumble they had taken. “Look, point is, I think you should have just let me grab Twi and scoot. Would have turned out way less--”

“Unbelievably, impossibly, nonsensically excruciating, darling?” Rarity chimed in from just beneath Dash, her pained voice muffled from her mouth being jammed against Pinkie’s hoof.

“Yeah… that. I mean, I know that play made you jumpy for excitement... but AJ… I don’t know about you, but even for me, this is way too exciting! And not in the good way like racing, or flying, or a race where you fly! More like in a way that's--”

“Unbelievably, impossibly, nonsensically excruciating, darling?” Rarity chimed in again.

“Yeah… that…”

Applejack grimaced and said, “Sorry! I’m sorry, girls! I jumped the crossbow! I pulled too hard! I shouldn’t had did that, but I did and I’m all sorts of broken up about it! More ways than one it feels like!”

“Ow!” Twilight suddenly screamed from beneath Rarity. “Rarity! Your sequins are digging into my head! Ow, ow, ow!”

“SOMEPONY MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE JUST MAKE IT STTTOOOPPP!” Pinkie Pie suddenly yelled from beneath Fluttershy who was beneath Twilight.

“Alright, alright already!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “Just… let me… stretch out… my wings! Gahhh!”

After a few moments of painful flexing, Rainbow Dash managed to get her wings flapping again without too much trouble and slowly helped everyone else up and onto their hooves, even Fluttershy who had been knocked out, but who had suddenly found reason to crawl back to consciousness when Rainbow Dash told her a fib wherein an innocent pigeon had been caught up with them during the fall and needed her help to be nursed back to health.

After a few more moments of them each making sure they could all at least see straight again, Twilight said, “You know girls, I think we should all just head back to the hotel and sit this game out. Cutiemark Map or no, honestly, I don’t think we’re in any kind of shape to be out and about after what just happened.”

A chorus of accord rang out from most everypony, even Rainbow Dash. The only one that kept silent was Applejack. Even as banged up as she was, AJ wasn’t too keen on the sentiment like the others. They had just gotten there after an hour of stress AND an hour and a half watching Rats before that. So what if they had a little trip down some not soft stairs? They could still stand and walk--mostly--and all they’d have to do to wash out the bad taste of that awful, foul play from their memories was sit and watch the game for a couple more hours ‘fore the Oranges sent the Lakers packin’ back to Californeigh! They could do that, easy! Especially since all they’d be doing back at the hotel room was sit around anywho!

She was about to give voice to her opposition, when she then managed to catch wind of a conversation she found to be very interesting. Not because of the subject matter--or not just--but because of who they sounded like.

“--kidding me!? The Manehattan Oranges are going to mop the floor with the Lakers sure as the sun’s set, child!” a voice stunningly familiar to Applejack said in a frustrated tone.

“Nuh uh, Pops!” a familiar filly’s voice retorted, a distinct Manehattan accent evident in her voice. “The Los Pegasus Lakers have had a nearly perfect season this year! Combine that with their new coach and ain’t no way they can lose!”

“Is that… Uncle Orange and... Babs?” Applejack thought as she looked past her friends that were to her left to find not just the aforementioned stallion and his daughter seated down, but Auntie Orange with them too!

“Babs, dear, why are you even rooting for them!? They represent this very city, your very home, just like your father does!” Auntie Orange said. “To compound matters, your father and I literally have the word Orange in our names! Why are you so adamantly against the team that bears that name!?”

“Gee, ma, I dunno! Maybe cuz it’s just one big coinkydink my parents’ names just happen to have Orange in it, maybe!?” she rolled her eyes. “‘Sides, you’re dodging the question! How can your precious Manehattan Oranges stand up to the Los Pegasus Lakers’ almost perfect win-loss record!? I know you and Pops have to keep up appearances and propriety and all that bunkum by rootin’ for the Oranges in public, but how do you expect them to win against these kinds of stats!? I mean, seriously!”

As Uncle and Auntie Orange babbled on and on trying to pony up an answer, Twilight asked Applejack if she agreed with leaving and the rest of her friends looked at Applejack with pleading expectation, confirming beyond the shadow of a doubt that they hadn’t heard or seen what she had. Quickly coming up with her one most sure fire way to stay at the stadium, Applejack ignored her friends, stepped past them, and said to her family, “Well, well, well! Fancy meetin’ y’all here!”

“Applejack!?” the Oranges all said in stereo as they turned to face her.

“Hey, long time no see, cuz!” Babs said, waving.

“Indeed! It has been too long, my dear!” Uncle Orange said in a very uppercrust east coast accent.

“Much, much too long!” Auntie Orange said, in the same very uppercrust east coast accent, getting up and moving past her husband to embrace Applejack in that peculiar spine crushing hug all earthponies that dealt with fruit seemed to have that normally Applejack would have been able to tough out but that she could then only grimace through as it crushed her due to the circumstances. “Whatever brings you here today, dearest niece!?”

“Oh, you know,” she gasped out, “happened to ride into the neighborhood on Element o’Harmony business the night before yesterday, heard about the big game today, and decided to just... drop on by!” Applejack heard Pinkie Pie booing and saying something about that pun being bad and on the nose even by her standards. But truth be told, being honest as her element, Applejack didn’t intend for any word play and any that could be found was coincidental, so she rightfully ignored Pinkie and asked, “But enough gabbin’ ‘bout little old me! What about you? Y’all!? How’s it been and how come y’all are here?”

“Oh, well, you see--” Auntie Orange began.

“Orange blossom, look!” Uncle Orange interrupted with a start, pointing somewhere behind Applejack. “A princess! We have a princess in our midst!”

Auntie Orange looked where her husband was pointing and promptly gasped at the sight of Twilight, letting Applejack unceremoniously slip out of her hooves and hit the ground with an, “Ow!” before she and her husband jumped to the ground and genuflected before Twilight.

“Please see fit to pardon us, your majesty!” Auntie Orange said.

“Indeed!” said Uncle Orange. “If we had noticed your presence sooner, we would have bowed the moment you arrived!”

“And rolled out the red carpet!”

“Jeeves! Jives! Chives!” Uncle Orange called back to the three big, burley, tuxedo and sunglasses clad earth stallions sitting to the right of Babs. “Fetch the stadium manager and see to it that he brings down the red carpet so that it could be rolled out for her majesty’s honor!”

“On it, boss,” the three said with voices so deep and powerful Applejack had difficulty getting back up with how the local area seemed to shake. Then, quite literally, the three of them leapt out of their seats, onto the same set of stairs Applejack and her friends were on, only higher, and sprinted up to parts unknown.

As the ponyville mares all shook their shock of seeing ponies jump so high and land so gracefully out of their heads, Twilight looked to AJ’s family and said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but while I do appreciate the gesture, it’s… really not necessary. The whole redcarpet thing. And the bowing.”

“Oh, but it is proper protocol, princess!” Uncle Orange said. “It is quite literally Equestrian law that we must at these kinds of sporting events!”

“But, I wasn’t even planning on attending until--”

“In fact--” Auntie Orange cut her off before turning her head back at Babs, “Babs, get down on the ground and genuflect before Princess Twilight, now!”

“Ma! What’re you talkin’ ‘bout!? She just said we didn't need to--”

“Barbara Anne Seed, do not dare to take that tone with me in front of royalty! Now get down on the ground and bow right this instant!”

“But--” both Babs and Twilight said in unison.

“Do it or you are grounded for a month young lady!” Auntie Orange growled out so loud that the manes of everypony within a hundred foot radius was blown upwards and backwards, the sequins on Rarity’s jersey cracking and then crumbling off to the ground, making her shriek in abject horror, though, mercifully, not half as loud.

“Fine! Alright already, alright already!” Babs huffed, face flush with anger as she got out of her seat and bowed before Twilight, muttering incoherently under her breath.

Twilight shared a glance with Applejack that the farmpony reckoned was asking a question she reckoned she knew. Nodding, she mouthed the words, “Yeah. Very strict folk, generally speaking,” before turning back to her genuflecting family and saying, “Now hold on now, what’re y’all doing acting so formal like? Twilight here ain’t here in no official capacity or nuthin’ like that! Why, she just heard about the game not an hour and a half ago and just wanted to mosey on down out of the blue and enjoy it, same as anypony!”

“Well, actually, we were all just about to leave and--”

Applejack did her best Applebloom impression, her big, sad, watery, puppy dog eyes and pouting lips asking the question of “Pwease, Twiwight? Pwetty pwease can we stay?” for her without a single uttered syllable or consonant.

Twilight stared Applejack down without amusement and did not budge. Even after ten whole seconds, she remained resolute against Applejack’s attempt to convince her.

So, realizing she wasn’t gonna get nowhere by her lonesome, Applejack turned to Rainbow and said, “Rainbow! Hoof it here and help me use the puppy dog routine on Twilight now, girl!”

“Eh, I dunno, Applejack,” Rainbow Dash said, massaging her head. “Much as I really would like to stay and see the game, I’ve learnt over the years that it ain’t a good idea to skip out on rest ASAP after a fall like--”

“Do it and I’ll give you three free barrels next cider season.”

Rainbow’s eyes immediately lit up and in a dash of speed, she was at Applejack’s side, trying to guilt Twilight using the puppy dog look right on with her.

Twilight, however, remained not amused. In fact, her frown only seemed to deepen, and for several tense moments Applejack thought she had lost this game of influence.

That was, until Twilight raised a brow and asked, “You know, if you’re gonna pay someone to help you stay, shouldn’t you be offering me extra cider next cider season?”

Applejack was surprised. Both because it sounded like Twilight was willing to stay if she promised her some cider and because Applejack honestly hadn’t thought about that there angle of attack before. So, raising a brow of her own, while still maintaining her puppy dog face, Applejack asked, “Well… how much ya want?”

“Only one free barrel should suffice. I mean, I like the stuff, but I’m nowhere near as crazy about it as Rainbow here. Now, if you had persimmon-pear cider, that’d be a different story, but--”

“Deal!” Applejack said, shaking her hoof like a madmare, hard enough to lift her seven feet into the air and hard enough to pick up dust when she slammed her back down.

“Wahoo!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “Free cider for me and Twi!”

“Hurray,” Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and even Fluttershy said with an utter lack of enthusiasm.

With a flash of her horn, Twilight managed to teleport just outside Applejack’s grip and after stopping her eyes from rolling to and fro in their sockets, held up a hoof and said, “I have one more condition that must be met, however.”

“What is it?” Applejack asked. “Name it, Twi, and I swear I’ll give it even if it’s a whole copse of apple trees you want moved to your palace!”

“And I’ll help! So long as I get paid in cider, that is!” Rainbow said.

Rarity clicked her tongue and said, “Applejack, for the last time, Rats wasn’t THAT atrocious! Point of fact, it wasn't atrocious, at all! You just have poor theatrical taste, is all! That is no reason to overreact with such… such… theatricality!”

“Coming from little miss drama queen who literally calls a chipped hoof, 'THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!' that’s a laugh,” Applehack said with a glare before brightening back up as she turned back to Twilight. “So,what else you want, Twi?”

“Nothing more from you, but I would like your Aunt and Uncle to promise me something.”

At this, Auntie and Uncle Orange looked up from the ground with quizzical expressions before nodding in deferrence.

“Whatever you desire, your majesty,” Auntie Orange said.

“Name it and we shall accommodate posthaste, princess,” Uncle Orange said.

Twilight nodded and said, “Firstly, no red carpets. No fanfare. No anything of any kind to signify that I’m here and that I’m royalty, please. I’ve already been identified and... accosted by one group of ponies here at the stadium today, and I don’t want to deal with any more.”

“But--” began Auntie and Uncle Orange.

“No buts,” Twilight interrupted. “Since you two seem very up to date on protocol, then you no doubt know that a decree from a princess overrides any law on decorum, so, I am decreeing that you are not to give me any special, royal treatment. No red carpets. Fanfare. None of that.” Her look changed from one of great severity, and a warm smile spread across her face. “You’re the family of one of my best friends, after all, and I’d hate to have my rank get in the way of getting to know you all better.”

“Well… it is highly unorthodox…” Uncle Orange said, tapping his chin in thought.

“But then again, so is a princess just popping into an event like this out of left field…” Auntie Orange said.

“Then it is settled then, my dear,” Uncle Orange said to this wife before getting up and shaking hooves with Twilight. “Greetings and good day to you, your grace.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Now there you go being all formal like and everything again after all that, Unc.”

“Yeah, dude! Just call her Twilight, or even Twi! I mean, like she said, you’re AJ’s family! That definitely gives you first name basis points.” Rainbow Dash said.

“I have never been on a first name basis with a princess before,” Auntie Orange said, she and Babs getting up and she herself shaking her own hoof with Twilight’s.

“Well welcome to the club, Auntie!” Applejack beamed.

“Believe you me, Mrs. Orange, with a princess as accessibly plain Jane as Twilight here, it is not a very difficult club to be granted access to,” said Rarity.

“Thanks, Rarity,” Twilight sarcastically said, rolling her eyes. “Always good to know I can count on you downplaying my social skills.”

“Oh, any time, darling,” Rarity replied, completely serious and without even a hint of the sarcasm dripping from Twilight’s voice.

“Boss, where do you want it put down?”

Everypony’s head swiveled a little up the stairs at the trio of booming, earth shaking voices, seeing Jeeves, Jives, and Chives standing there, each carrying a part of a very large, very luxurious, and very heavy looking red carpet, the stallions all visibly sweating and straining against the bulk atop their backs.

Uncle Orange shook his head and waved them off. “No, no. Sorry my good fellows, but Princess Twi--errr--Twilight here said she does not desire the royal treatment. She has decreed it so.”

“Awww…” they all said, crestfallen and looking like disappointed colts rather than the kind of stallions that looked like they could hold their own against Big Mac in a hoof wrestling competition at the very least.

“But we never get to break out the red carpet!” said Jeeves.

“Or play the royal fanfare on our bugles!” said Jives.

“Plus, we just lugged this thing like half a mile! Through very uneven and treacherous terrian, I might add!” said Chives.

“Sorry, boys, but looks like you’re gonna have to put it back so soon after busting it out! But look on the bright side: while you’re at it, you can pick me up a samich and soda to go with it, chop-chop!” Babs said, snapping her hooves to emphasize the chop-chop bit.

“Now wait just a minute there, Babs,” said Applejack, narrowing her eyes at the filly. “Where have your manners done gone off and ran to, missy?”

“She is right, Babs,” said Auntie Orange. “You forgot to say please.”

Babs sighed. “Fine. Chop-chop, get me a samich and soda, PLEASE, chop-chop, while you're putting the red carpet back where you found it, chop-chop,” she said with a self-assured grin while continuing to emphasize the chop-chop bits by snapping her hooves. She looked at her mother and Applejack. “There, that betta?”

Auntie Orange and Applejack sighed.

“I suppose so,” said the former.

“Yeah, I guess,” said the latter.

As Jeeves, Jives, and Chives grumbled and turned back to put the red carpet back wherever they'd found it--and get Babs the sandwich and soda she was so adamant to get--Applejack introduced her Auntie and Uncle to her friends. Names were exchanged. Hooves were shaken. Applejack snickered at her Aunt and Uncle cringing backwards in fright at Pinkie Pie’s overbearing cheeriness and enthusiastic motormouthing. Soon they were all seated, Uncle Orange to the far left on the seat directly next to the steps as he had been, Auntie Orange to his right, Babs to her right, Applejack to her right (taking Jeeves’ old seat), Twilight to her right (taking Jives’ old seat), Rarity to her right (taking Chives’ old seat), Pinkie Pie to her right, Fluttershy to her right, and finally Rainbow Dash to her right. As Applejack and her friends sighed in appreciation at just how comfy the plush seating was and how much of a relief it was to sit on something so velvety soft after the fall they had taken, she looked up just in time to catch Jeeves, Jives, and Chives perform a triple backflip into the three seats immediately next to Rainbow and then toss over Babs' sandwich and soda, who scarfed her food and drink down in ten seconds like a little piglet, much to the chagrin of her mother, and then proceeded to argue with her father again over who was set to win the upcoming game, much to his chagrin.

As Applejack chuckled at the sight, she recalled a question she had been meaning to ask the moment her Uncle had called upon the trio of earth stallions to roll out the red carpet. “Hey, Unc?”

“Yes, dear niece?” he said, mid-quarrel.

“So… Jeeves? Jives? Chives? What’s their deal? Are they like some new super servants, or butlers, or what have you ya got?”

Babs snickered with barely controlled mirth at this.

Auntie Orange cried, “Applejack! The presumptive nerve of such a question! Spoken aloud, no less! I would have you know that these good fellows are most certainly NOT butlers or servants!”

“Well, not just,” Babs added with a cheeky grin that disappeared into a look of meek terror as Auntie Orange glared dangerously at her.

“What! It was just an honest question!” Applejack said, putting her hooves up defensively, genuinely confused as to what exactly she had said to warrant the ire of her Aunt. “I mean, y’all never had them workin’ for y’all when I was staying with y’all and I can’t remember the last time y’all went out as a family and had the help tag along, so I was just curious is all! Nothin’ to get upset about, really!”

Auntie Orange looked at her again and opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, Uncle Orange put a hoof on her shoulder and beat her to the draw, saying, “Do forgive your Aunt’s slip in manners, Applejack. It is just that ever since they have been under our employ, ponies have asked that exact same question, or else expressed sentiments like it, with such frequency that it has become quite bothersome for her to handle and has caused great emotional distress to Jeeves, Jives, and Chives.”

“It’s true,” the trio boomed, as emotionally devoid and monotone as ever. “Everytime somepony asks that question, our feelings hurt, and we cry inside.”

Babs rolled her eyes and said, “Pee-shaw! You’d have to have feelings in the first place for them to hurt!”

For her little quip, Babs’ mom grabbed hold of one of her ears and tugged like it was the handle to a very heavy, very sturdy, very troublesome door.

“Ah! Ma! Stop! Please! Ah!” Babs yelled, crying a little and flailing her hooves about in abject agony.

“You should have thought about that before being rude to the nice stallions protecting us, dear!” her mother said with comparative calm.

“Protecting?” Applejack asked, feeling empathetic to Babs’ plight since Grannie Smith and others in authority over her had often had to discipline her much the same way when she was out of line, but ultimately deciding against doing anything about it since it wasn’t her place and Babs kind of had it coming considering her bratty behavior. “Now wait just a Manehattan minute now! Are y’all saying these guys, these ones right here, are your bodyguards or something?”

“Why yes. That is precisely what we are saying.” said Uncle Orange.

Applejack’s curiosity was through the roof and into outer space now. In all the years she had known her Aunt and Uncle and all the time she had spent under their care, she had never known them to ever have hired bodyguards. Quite the contrary. She remembered them explicitly saying they had no need or want of any despite their station. Something about how being the biggest name in the Orange harvesting and product making biz already separated them from their humble fruit pony roots enough and how throwing in personal security would just make their transition into aloof, unapproachable, uppercrust folk too scared to shake hooves and rub shoulders with the common ponies for fear of catching a cold or something complete and thusly making family reunions needlessly awkward. Well, more than they already were.

So, what changed?

“‘Xcuse me if this little fall I took recently is makin’ me recall wrong--”

“Applejack, my dear, you took a recent fall!?” Uncle Orange said.

“Strong enough to affect your recollection of things!?” Auntie Orange said, finally ceasing her pulling of her daughter’s ear.

“That ain’t healthy, cuz! Believe me. I would know with all the zany stunts I’ve pulled and tried toughing out. Ain’t no shame in seeing a doc or just getting some rest now!” Babs said, rubbing her ear. “I mean, with how many times my ma's smacked me upside my head just today, I’m probably gonna sleep like a log the moment I get home!”

“Do you hear that, Applejack, darling?” Rarity asked, leaning at the edge of her seat to get a good look at her. “There is no shame in just going back to the hotel room, calling it a day, and catching some shuteye.”

Applejack looked at Rarity and found her, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy looking back at her with sad, expectant, pleading eyes. For their part, Twilight and Rainbow didn’t join them, but she could tell from their expressions that they wanted to join them and only didn’t because of their promise to AJ.

Annoyed by all this, Applejack coughed and said, “I’ll have you all know that I feel just fine, thank you. Right as plain! Right! As! Plain!”

At this, everypony around her raised their brow and looked at each other uncertainly.

“Applejack, darling,” Rarity hesitated, “do you not mean right as rain?”

“Daffodils.” Having settled matters as to her mental wellbeing with that single utterance, in her mind anyways, Applejack turned away from her friends and back to her family. “So anywho, how come y’all bought yerselves bodyguards of all things? When I was bunkin’ with y’all, ya said didn’t want none, so why have some now?”

While Auntie and Uncle Orange were still visibly concerned for Applejack, Babs quickly shook her own off her face and beamed with pride as she replied, “Simple, cuz. It’s cuz he can’t get rid of them! It’s like, law or somethin' that the Mayor of Manehattan has to have bodyguards lookin’ out for him and his family 24/7!”

“The Mayor!?” Applejack and all her friends yelled in unison, even Fluttershy now leaning at the edge of her seat to look at Uncle Orange with the rest of them.

“Yepperooni!” Babs said before jumping roughly into her mother’s lap hard enough to cause her to yelp in sudden pain and nuzzling her father’s shoulder. “You gals are lookin’ at the Big Orange’s latest, biggest, Big Cheese! Newly minted circa just two odd weeks ago and already serving the city with all the integral integrity folks could ask for!”

“Please Babs, you flatter me far too much,” Uncle Orange said, nuzzling her back. “As you said, it has barely been half a month since I came into office! Still far too soon to make such bold assertions!”

“Soon enough to have already locked up three beak-brained ne’er-do-wells for attempted bribery of a public official!” Auntie Orange said, nuzzling her husband on the cheek.

At this, Applejack and her friends all gasped, or in Pinkie Pie’s case, said, “Le gasp!”

“What!? Attempted bribery!?” Applejack asked.

“Of a public official!?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Why, such a thing is unheard of! Simply... unheard of!” Rarity said.

“I’ll say!” Twilight said. “Especially since this is new news to me! I mean, it’s been centuries, maybe even in excess of a millennium since something like that has gone on in this country, and yet this is the first time I’ve heard about something so… so momentous happening in this city! Me! Somepony who reads practically every morning edition of every newspaper in Equestria cover to cover in two hours, tops!”

“Ah yes, well, I suppose it would have been difficult for you to be made aware since according with what Applejack said, you all only arrived here the night before yesterday and the incident in question happened just last night. Plus, Princess Celestia did convince every newspaper in Manehattan not to publish the story until the official investigation had concluded, so, there is that too.”

At this, Applejack and her friends all gasped again, or in Pinkie’s case, said, “Le gasp deux fois!”

“Princess Celestia!?” Twilight asked.

“Why yes. After the incident and ensuring the bribers were taken into custody, I contacted her via telegram immediately and appraised her of the situation. Not a minute later, she teleported directly into my office, asked me to recount events, and asked me to convince the media, who I had already spoken to prior to her, not to run the story until the ministry of security could verify everything. When I told her that was beyond my authority as mayor and my pull with the press, she then teleported into the offices of every major editor in chief in the city and told them what not to do, and they did not.”

“And from what we heard, the presses were running hot and ready to go and the princess managed to just stop them from printing like there was no tomorrow!” Babs added. “Almost made me feel bad for them being honest! I mean, yeah, I can count on one hoof the number of rags in this town that didn’t run nasty attack ads and bit pieces on my Pops here when he was runnin’, but it just gotsta sting not being able to run an emergency morning edition at the last minute with a headline like, “Three Beak-Brained Stooges Attempt To Bribe Mayor of Manehattan w/10,000 Bits, Pocket Lint, and A Half Chewed Gumball!” I mean, that’s the story of a lifetime if what you gals said about that kind of thing not happening in so long is true!”

Applejack's eyes widened. “Wait… do you mean to tell me that the public official they tried to bribe was your dad, Babs!?”

“That is precisely what she is saying,” Auntie Orange said.

Yet again, Applejack and her friends gasped aloud, or in Pinkie’s case, said, “Le gasp trois fois!”

“I know, I know,” Uncle Orange said, massaging his aching cranium. “The nerve! The shear, unmitigated GALL of those wretched fellows! And on the night right before the big inaugural game of this stadium of all nights! As though I were not stressed enough!”

“Aww… there, there, sweet Tangerine! Do relax, please!” Auntie Orange said, hugging and affectionately patting her husband on the head. “Do not let those beak-brained buffoons rob you of your peace as they tried to rob you of your integrity! We must not let them claim any modicum of victory in the slightest, should we dear?”

Uncle Orange sighed in his wife’s loving embrace and said, “No dear. We should not. It would neither be wise nor prudent, easy a train of thought as it is to slip into.”

As Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy went, “Awww!” at the loving display, Applejack felt a hoof tapping her shoulder and turned to see Twilight with a brow raised.

“Applejack,” she whispered, “are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“That my Aunt and Uncle are cute together?” Applejack whispered back, raising an eyebrow of her own. “Well, yeah, but I don’t see what that’s gotta do with--”

“No, not that!” Twilight loudly whispered. “I mean, yeah, it’s true. They’re adorable, don’t get me wrong, but I was talking about why the cutiemap brought us to Manehattan in the first place.”

It took Applejack a little bit to put two and two together, but when she did, her eyes widened and she said, “Wait, you think what happened with my Unc might have something to do with whatever friendship problem we’re supposed to fix?”

“As of right now, it’s certainly looking like the most plausible option. I mean, think about it! Think back to what you said outside the theater! What are the odds that we arrive in Manehattan at around the same time the recently elected mayor, your Uncle of all ponies, fends off and reports an attempted bribery, the first such attempt on an equestrian official in hundreds of years!? An attempt that Princess Celestia herself comes down from Canterlot to deal with and do damage control on! What are the odds on the day after, we just happen to hear news about a big game for a brand new stadium, go there, and just happen to meet your Uncle and his family and learn all this from them? I mean, yeah, we haven’t had the cutiemap for long, but if there’s anything I’ve picked up from it over the months, it’s that coincidences don’t tend to be things wherever it wants us to go whenever it wants us to go there.” Twilight sighed and rubbed her head as though it were still smarting from their tumble earlier. “Even if sometimes you REALLY wish they were.”

Applejack tapped her chin with her hoof, considering Twilight’s words for a bit, trying to find any fault in them she could, but ultimately coming up empty. It was true. Undeniably true that at the time and place the cutiemark lead them to, events never were the product of chance, but in some way always, ALWAYS lead back to whatever the underlying issue was it wanted them to get to the bottom of. And, out of all such events, what had transpired with her Uncle and the circumstances that lead Applejack and her friends to discovering this were the biggest she ever did see. One big, giant, neon sign. A colossal clue you’d have to be plumb dumb not to see, and that Applejack chided herself for not seeing until Twilight had brought it up.

Sighing and massaging her head, Applejack said, “Ya know somethin’, Twi, just for once when we’re on these little adventures, I wish I could just kick my hooves up and not have to worry ‘bout nuthin’.”

Twilight sighed. “You and me both, AJ. You and me both.”

“And I wish you didn’t turn out to be right on the bit so much.”

“I repeat my previous statement.”

Applejack looked back at her family, wondering exactly what line of inquiry she should pursue next to confirm Twilight's and her own growing suspicion. After a little bit spent coming up empty on anything more concrete, she decided on settling on something she'd been curious about since she had first heard it. A phrase that her aunt and cousin had repeated thrice between them.

“Uhhh… hey, Babs? Auntie? Uhhhmmm… what exactly is a, or do y'all mean by, beak-brain?”

“Yeah. I've kind of been wondering about that myself, come to think of it,” added Twilight.

Curiously, Uncle Orange went wide-eyed immediately after Twilight finished talking. As Applejack wondered why exactly that was, he then abruptly turned to his wife and daughter and hurriedly said, “Oh, will you look at the clock! I do believe it's time for me to make the inaugural speech and that means you two have to come with and stand behind me as I do just like at rehearsal last afternoon! Mayoral hoofball traditions and all that!”

“Really?” Auntie Orange asked, confused. “Should not there have been an announcement concerning such news?”

“There was! Just now!” Uncle Orange said, a little too quickly and looking a little too shooken by his wife's answer. “You... uhhh... must not have heard it over all the commotion about us!”

“You sure, Pops?” Babs asked. “I mean, we were all there yesterday. Think my ears are still ringin' from that super primo, super loud speaker system this joint's got.” She massaged her ears with a pained expression.

“Yes! Sure as Sponish Sweet!” Uncle Orange responded, more than a little heated in exasperation before he grabbed her and held her in the pit of the foreleg he had grabbed her with like one might with a stuffed teddy bear. He then pulled on one of his wife's forelegs with his free foreleg and said, “Now on your hooves with you! Let us away!”

“But dear!” Auntie Orange said, resisting his surprisingly substantial efforts to get her up and off her seat.

“But Pops!” Babs said, trying to get out from his legpit.

“But Unc!” Applejack said, finally deciding it was high time to break her silence. “Hold yer hamlin's just a sec, now! Auntie wasn't done answerin' yet!”

“Plus, I'm fairly certain you just must have misheard, because I didn't hear any annoucement either, and believe me, if I can hear you all over all this background noise, I can certainly hear a brand new, state of the art PA system,” said Twilight.

“The princess is right, boss. We didn't hear nuthin' neither,” Jeeves, Jives, and Chives boomed so loudly that the rest of Applejack's friends were knocked out of the conversations they were having with each other, jumped back in their seats in surprised fright for a moment, and finally noticed what was going on.

“See, Pops! Told ya!” Babs said with a smug smirk, taking a break from trying to break free before continuing her escape attempt as she said, “And here ya were sweatin' o.j.! Betchya feelin' all kinds of silly now!”

“No, sweet child, I most certainly do not, for you, your mother, the good princess, and our good protectors are most certainly mistaken! For I did most certainly hear the colossal crackle of the intercom system turning on and announcing that our presence is required on the field, posthaste!” With one final, mighty tug, Uncle Orange finally pried his wife out of her seat and plopped her onto his back before turning around promptly, leaping onto the steps, and taking off like one of the quarterbacks on either of the two teams playing soon woud once the whistle started blaring. An analogy made all the more apt since Babs' coat color sorta did make her look like a somewhat oversized, furry hoofball along with the way her dad was keeping her under his legpit as he ran. “Jeeves, Jives, Chives! We are going!” he called back.

“But boss, we checked our watches and it's still five minutes too earl--”

“Do it or there shall be no mini-golfing this weekend!”

“Okay.”

Without any further hint of protest, Jeeves, Jives, and Chives leapt out of their seats, landed behind their employer, and apparent mini-golf provider, and took off after him.

“Girls, whatever just happened?” asked Rarity as Applejack's family and their bodyguards made it halfway up.

“Beats me,” said Pinkie Pie as she and Fluttershy shrugged.

“Not so sure myself,” said Twilight, raising a brow before her horn glowed magenta. “But I intend to find out.”

Realizing that Twilight was probably fixin' to teleport, likely in front of her Uncle and his protectors to cut them off, or else use a levitation spell to reel him in, Applejack quickly put a hoof on her horn and quickly shouted, “Twi, wait! Let me get to the bottom of this!”

Twilight fixed her with a quizzical look. “You sure? I mean, he wasn't exactly straightforward before.”

“Positive. Unc's my unc. Plus, I'm fairly certain that he was actin' like he did cuz you, a princess, was here. You saw how he got when you noticed you the first time.”

“Hmmm… that does make a lot of sense… princesses do tend to have that effect on municipal politicians… Took forever to get Mayor Mare to just calm down and take a deep breath whenever I stopped by city hall after the coronation,” Twilight said, tapping her hoof and looking thoughtful. “Alright then. If you really think you can get him to talk, go ahead.”

“Thank ya kindly.”

With that, Applejack jumped to the steps and took off after her kin at full gallop.

Rainbow Dash watched Applejack give chase to the mayor, his wife, his daughter, and his guards and looked between them and Twilight a couple of times before asking her alicorn friend, “So, are we gonna get an explanation or--?”

Applejack had to hoof it to her uncle. He may have been an older gentlestallion in his mid-thirties, but he certainly was an apple at heart even if his special talent did wind up involving pretty much the exact opposite fruit. Certainly was one of Grannie Smith's boys if he could cross the thousands of feet it took to make it to the player's tunnel for the home team quick as he did carrying a full grown mare on his back and holding a filly with one of his legs, forcing him to carry out his run on a single foreleg. Truly, she hadn't been exaggerating all too hard when she had thought to herself how he had taken off like a quarterback back at the stands. He had played college ball, after all.

By comparison, she had only ever played elementary school ball. And by the way she was huffing and puffing, it showed. Even with years of apple farmwork and years of cardio training after never quite living down Dash outshining her at the Running of the Leaves. The only thing all that was able to do was pick up a modicum of slack and let her just barely keep pace.

When her uncle finally stopped at the end of the player's tunnel, Applejack was happier than Grannie after finding her dentures whenever she lost them. Thing was, though, she was in one of those runs where it'd take more energy to stop than to just keep on chugging along. Energy she didn't have.

“Gang way!”

She'd expected every pony to hop to the side and just let her run out of steam somewhere out on the field. What she couldn't anticipate, however, was being tackled to the ground by a wall of muscle named Jeeves, Jives, and Chives.

“Ow,” was all she could utter, muffled both by the rapid return of the unbelievably, impossibly, nonsensically excruciating pain--as Rarity had put it--and from the fact that she was under a tuxedo'ed mountain of equine muscle some two-odd tons in weight that could have obscured her simple statement even if projected via megaphone.

“Hey! Now whatchyou boys go and do that for!?” Babs shouted loudly enough that she could hear, meaning it must have been way louder than it seemed from Applejack's present location.

“Indeed!” shouted Auntie Orange at similar volume. “She is family, not some filthy, break-brained assailant! Remove yourselves from her person at once!”

“Hehehe. Sorry,” they said as they got off of Applejack gingerly as they could and stood back up. “Force of habit.” They nervously rubbed the back of their heads.

All sorts of woozy like, seeing apple-shaped stars for the second time that day, Applejack said, “It sweat don't. Instinct were on actin' y'all job your doin' and. Things me I've fall heavier 'sides applebuckin' on.”

Auntie Orange sighed in frustration, looked down at her husband, and said, “See what your brash actions have wrought, Tangerine? Because of you, your own niece is beside herself with cranial calamity to the point where she is spewing word salad again after having already suffered such a thing not fifteen minutes prior!”

“And from the look of those cracks where she's layin', this time's gotta be worse than the last!” Babs added, pointing a hoof somewhere beneath Applejack.

Applejack looked there to find that Babs was right. Jeeves, Jives, and Chives had dog-piled onto her so hard that not only did she find herself in a depression formed into the concrete with spider-web like cracks criss-crossing and radiating out from the center, but one so deep she could see the still pristine, unrusted steel re-barb beneath. She could say only one thing after realizing that. “Right wow Babs you were!”

“Oh, this is simply dreadful! A disaster! Just plain awful! An absolute, unmitigated catastrophe! THE! WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!” Uncle Orange bemoaned. “This is not what I wanted! Not at all!”

“And what, pray tell, did you want, dear?” Auntie Orange asked, legs crossing over her chest.

“To get us as far away from Applejack, Twilight, and their friends as equinely possible before you and/or our daughter said something foalish we would all come to regret, espeicially me, sooner rather than later!”

“What? Pops, that can't be right. I mean, I say things all the time we all, especially you, come to regret later! Don't you remember the campaign trail?”

“Shhh! Not another word from you, Barbara Anne!”

“But--”

“You shall be grounded if you persist! I mean it!”

Babs gasped, but otherwise stilled her tongue, the shock on her face telling Applejack all she needed to know just how weird and atypical such a threatening tone and ultimatum from him was.

“Wait now...” began Auntie Orange.

“Manderina...” Uncle Orange warned with a low growl.

“Is this--all… this--because of the questio--”

“Manderina!” Uncle Orange said again, but in an overt, spittle filled growl this time.

“It is! It is because of that, isn't it!?” Auntie Orange said, almost sounding triumphant in her epiphany.

Though her brain still hadn't quite settled yet, Applejack was still more than cognizant of the conversation taking place before her to have hit her limit and be more than fed up. “It I've had, alright! Mystery enough with the! Going somepony 'round just me would what tell just these please parts is!?”

Uncle Orange sighed and slammed a hoof against his head. “Babs, would you please be a dear and help your cousin back to her senses?”

“On it, Pops!” Babs said, saluting rather seriously for a little filly. “Just as soon as you let me go.”

“Oh, quite right. Sorry.”

“And on that note, I take it then that you no longer have any objections to me getting off this ride, as it were?” asked Auntie Orange.

Uncle Orange sighed again. “No, I suppose not, dear.”

“Splendid.”

As Auntie Orange jumped off his back and dusted herself off, Uncle Orange let his daughter go and she quickly scurried over to Applejack and pulled forth from her tail a vial of what the farmpony likened to multicolored colored dirt in appearance with a salt shaker top at the end of it.

“Here,” Babs said, twisting the top so that the particulate motes inside were no more sealed from the outside world. “Get a whiff of this.”

Applejack did as she was instructed, sniffing the dirt like it was freshly plucked flora from any of the flower sisters' gardens. Immediate was her regret. As a barn were how wide her eyes got. And great was her voice as she threw her head back and shouted, “Wooooooooo Nelly that smells!”

As her family plus their protestors all massaged their ears at Applejack's volume, Auntie Orange said, “Well, at least her words are clear to the ears again.”

“And how!” agreed Uncle Orange.

“And loud! Definitely don't forget loud!” said Babs.

Her face contorting and twitching every which way and that, Applejack, clutching her nose, said, considerably more softly if still very much not using her polite vocal levels, “'Course I'm loud! Y'all'd be too if you sniffed—whatever it was Babs here just had me go and sniff!” Applejack shivered in disgust. “Whatchya even got in that there vial anywho, Babs!? Dried mud from Foggybottom Bog!?”

“Nope.”

“Hayseed Swamp!?”

“Nope. Matter of fact, it's not dried mud at all. It's smelling salt. Awesome, right? Got you thinkin' good again real good!”

“Smelling salt?” Applejack raised a brow. “Now why would you of all ponies be carrying around smelling salt of all things?”

“Don't ask, Applejack,” Auntie Orange said, sighing irritably. “It's a very long, very annoying tale.”

“Ughhh. I'll say,” Applejack said, now groaning in her disgust at the smelling salts. “Must be some yarn of irksomeness to get ya to break your fancy, schmancy rule against contractions.”

“Can attest,” beamed Babs.

“As can I,” said Uncle Orange.

“Interestin',” Applejack said, standing back up, shaking off the concrete fragments and dust best she could as she went. “But if you don't mind, feel like attestin' to what's gottin' in you instead? Figure that's bushels more pertinent since it's sorta, kinda why we're all down here in the first place.”

“Oh, well, uhhh...” began Uncle Orange, again growing very sweaty, pulling on his shirt collar like it was much too tight, getting shifty eyed, and generally looking like he was fixin' to bolt someplace else again. “You see...”

If the smelling salt hadn't hefted her consciousness back to normal already, A.J.'s auntie's enraged huff most certainly would've.

“Tangerine, not this again!” she let out another such huff before rubbing her temples and saying, “The word beak-brain is an insult directed directly at griffonkind, Applejack! It is a racial slur!”

Applejack done just about fell back onto the ground, such was how that buggy sized hailstone of truth had floored her, physically and mentally wobbling like a sapling in a twister. “Ra-ra-racial slur!?” she managed to stutter out after several seconds of fightin' to maintain her stability.

“Manderina!” Uncle Orange shouted in disbelieving hysteria.

“There. It is done,” Auntie Orange said, sticking her nose up at her husband. “At least now some of us can get to the crux of the matter and stop playing dodge ball because of their odd take on it.”

“My take is odd!?” Uncle Orange shouted, pointing at himself hard with a hoof prior to pointing that same hoof hard in his wife's and Babs' directions. “You and our daughter's take is the one completely out of line with equestrian political orthodoxy! If anything, the view you two share is odd!”

“Nuh uh, Pops! Because we think just like ordinary, everyday ponies on the street in this town!” Babs replied.

“You know, the very same ponies you promised to fight for? The ones you promised to prioritize over any other, special interest, held only by a select few? The ones that elected you, dear? If anything, operating under this far more accurate bell-weather, YOU stand in the minority, and WE with the majority.” Auntie Orange then pulled Babs over to her and lovingly patted her on the head. “Is that not right, Babs dear?”

“You betchya, Moms!” Babs' smile at the praise and affection of her mother could have lit up even Sombra's darkness, no Crystal Heart required.

Her grin didn't last long, however, before she, her mother, and her father all descended into a verbal spat as cantankerous as it was indecipherable to Applejack's ears, a disheartening cacophony so without relent, without mercy, and without harmony that Applejack felt as though a direct attack had been attempted against her very soul. This was no exaggeration, no fancy purple illustration on her imagination's part, poetic as it indeed was after a certain fashion. It truly did feel like that fundamental immaterial and irreducible part of her being from which her apportioned, particularly acute virtue geysered forth from, was being trampled underhoof by some great, invasive host. As though her self and her element of harmony were screaming in a pain deeper than all that she had experienced up till that point that day, gripping them in steel talons and squeezing for all they were worth. And they were worth no pittance indeed.

She tried to battle it, naturally, and gave it as much effort as she had ever struggled against anything prior in her life. But most unlike the bulk of before, powering through the anguish here availed not, and though significantly slower than last time, she never the less dropped again to the ground, curling into a very Fluttershy-esque ball, fore-hooves wrapped around her as though she were cold and trying to warm herself.

Praise be, it was a brief thing, harrowing as it was, and only a quarter of a minute later, Applejack felt the spiritual agony subside. Upon the ring of tinnitus that had settled in her ears likewise going away afterwards, in an even shorter time frame, she even managed to catch the tail-end of something Babs must have been saying while she had been back on the floor.

“--break out the smelling salts again.”

Applejack's eyes widened promptly and in no time she was standing up again, shoutin', “Nope! No need! I'm fine! Really! Don't! Please!”

Auntie Orange chuckled grimly. “Yes. The merest mention of those odorous crystals being used on a pony again tends to have that effect. Nearly as effective as the stuff itself, I can attest.”

“As can I,” Uncle Orange said with a sigh. “But as intriguing a tale as that would be, would you mind being the one attesting, Applejack dear? Particularly concerning what all that screaming and falling down business just now was about?”

“I… I was screamin'?”

“Oh yes. Absolutely raucously. As though you had stomped on ten tacks, even!” Uncle Orange stepped closer and put a hoof on her shoulder. “Are you certain you are not still all at sixes and sevens from all of the hits you have accrued today?”

Applejack opened her mouth, intending to dispute him, wanting to dispute him, but being unable. After all, if things were all good and well with her, then why did she drop to the ground and apparently scream so loud… yet fail to recall doing so? After a few moments, she shook her head. “If I am, I ain't so sure it's cuz any bumps I've been takin' to the noggin. Least not this time.”

“If that is so, then whatever could be the cause?”

“Hazardin' a guess?” Applejack gently pushed his hoof aside and alternated between looking at him, Babs, and Auntie. “Y'all three.”

“Say what now?” asked Babs.

“I beg your pardon?” asked Auntie Orange.

“Y'all heard me loud and clear.” Her look softened and became sadder. “I mean, y'all're kin! Ya shouldn't be fightin' like… like that… over who gets the last slice of zap-apple pie at the dinner table let alone something so… so… I don't even know!” She threw her hooves up in exasperation. “But I do know that ya shouldn't let it get to ya so strong-like. Of all the ponies in the family, I thought y'all two--” she pointed at her aunt and uncle, “would get that.”

Uncle and Auntie Orange gasped and looked hurt, each clutching their chest with a hoof, much to the questioning brows of their daughter and their guards.

“Applejack...” began Auntie Orange softly.

“Of course we understand,” Uncle Orange said with an empathetic look before fixin' his wife with a nonplussed look. “Or at least some of us do.”

“Not helpin', Unc,” Applejack said, narrowing her eyes upon him.

“I'll say,” Babs said, sitting on her haunches and crossing her fore-legs over her chest.

Uncle Orange sighed and slapped himself thrice in the face. “I know, I know. Forgive me, Applejack. But you must understand: causing grief to befall you or anypony else is precisely what I did not wish, and thus, what I was looking to avoid by running away. The issue of griffon sojourners in the country is one with… very strong views on either side of it and is prone to very strong arguments erupting over it. I wanted to spare you and your friends such headache… at least in a venue intended to be festive and far more full of good cheer.”

Auntie Orange harrumphed, sitting on her haunches and crossing her fore-legs over her chest. Rolling her eyes, she said, “More like wanted to spare a princess who was Celestia's own personal student from relaying to her majesty just how unpopular her policy is being received on the streets these days and any ensuing, potentially negative repercussions to your administration.”

“What of it, hmmm?” he said, snapping his neck towards his wife fast enough that if Applejack didn't know no better, she'd wonder if he was actually a pegasus. “Why can I not have the two motivate me at once, Manderina?”

“I am not saying both cannot be the reason for your running off, dear, but after all we went through getting you elected, do not stand there and fib in saying the former factor is anywhere near the motivator that your political career is.”

“Gah!” Uncle Orange threw his hat on the ground, reared up on his hind hooves, and pulled at his hair with his fore-hooves. “SEE what I have been forced to endure!? I've had better luck hiding from your grandmother in the orchard when knocking homers into the house's windows playing baseball with your father! Do you KNOW how thoroughly she knows her way around Sweet Apple Acres!? Especially when you're in trouble!?”

At this, Applejack and Babs both groaned and huffed out, “Yeah.”

“The thing is, though,” Uncle Orange continued, “I was in the wrong then! I'm pony enough to admit it now, and was even so at the time! But these two! It wasn't enough to hear their erroneous opinions day in and out for the past two years, but from the day I announced my candidacy, they still couldn't refrain from haranguing me! From poking and prodding at me! And for what!? Being right when they're so clearly wrong!? At least I caused my mother very real, very unneccesary, tangible property damage to warrant her wrath!”

“Oh, here we go...” Babs sighed, rolling her eyes.

Again, Applejack's family descended into an argument that, for whatever reason, was so great that she felt soul searing stress. This time, however, she did not let it get to the point it had earlier, and was quick to break it up by yelling out, “QUIET!” so intensely that even their big, burly bodyguards leapt back in a fright. Two of them, Jeeves and Jives by her reckoning, even jumped into the fore-legs of Chives who, while strong, struggled to hold the two with the force they had unintentionally struck him with and inevitably teetered to the ground with his comrades lying atop him in an undignified heap.

“Ow,” the bodyguards uttered.

“Ow is right. Cuz if y'all three's charges don't shape up, that's exactly what they'll be hootin' and hollerin' when I'm pinching them by the ear!” Applejack yelled, shaking a hoof in righteous indignation.

The bodyguards, despite the many years of experience between the lot, all backed up to one of the walls and held onto each other, screaming like ponies much too little and girly for their bulk. Her family fared little better, though terrified as they clearly were, they did at least hold their ground and remain silent.

Applejack, did not hold her tongue however. Would not. Not for longer than she deemed crucial for her words to sink in. “Now then: please. Use your indoor voices, would ya kindly?”

It wasn't a question, but a command. One that her family, angry as they had just been, seemed quite eager to acquiesce to. Smart.

“Applejack… are those… tears in your eyes?” Auntie Orange asked.

Applejack lifted a questioning brow, but when she did, she felt that distinct wetness in her eyes, which then widened in surprise. “I... I guess they are,” she said in astonishment, having not remembered crying anymore than the screaming when she fell to the ground after the first soul wrenching argument.

Without any word uttered, Uncle Orange closed the distance rapidly and wrapped Applejack in a big ole hug and began crying himself.

“I am so sorry, Applejack. So, so sorry for forcing you to relive those awful, dreadful memories again. Please, you must believe me! It was not my intent! It was not my intent!”

Auntie Orange gasped, covered her muzzle with both fore-hooves, and quickly joined her husband in hugging Applejack. “Nor my own! Please forgive my impertinence!”

Applejack sniffled and, despite all that happened, hugged her Aunt and Uncle back.

Understandably confused, Babs scratched her head with the side of her hoof and asked, “Uhhh…. did I miss somethin' here?”

She looked to the bodyguards, scratching their own heads and shrugging.

Sighing, Applejack said, “Long story, Babs. Long story. Let's just say it has to do with why I stayed with y'all for a spell all them years ago and leave it at that.”

Babs' head tilted over to one side, raised a brow, and puffed up her lower lip in thought. While she was obviously still unsure of what Applejack meant, soon, she trotted over and joined her parents in their hugging.

It was nice. Soothing. Nostalgic, even, for the farm mare. For a few moments, Applejack had even forgotten where and when she was and why she was there and pictured herself as she had been when she was a filly and her surrounding, extended family as if they were her immediate family as it was. In the before time. Before the dark times, so long ago, so far removed from the present yet still ever present in their reverberations.

It was funny. Family was funny. One moment, everything's roses and you're having yourself a blast reconnecting after a spell. The next, they get into a heated argument over a subject and somehow manage to hurt you. The one after that, everypony makes up and tries to make things peachy keen again. Why couldn't it all be peachy keen? Why did they have to fight? Why couldn't they be this much in harmony, instead of out of it, all the time?

Why did the announcer have to cut the moment much too short?

“Attention sports-fans! There are only five minutes left till showtime! Repeat! Five minutes left till showtime! Repeat! Five minutes left till showtime! Please be seated now and prepare for a word from our mayor followed swiftly by the national anthem! That is all! Thank you and good day!”

Uncle Orange sighed and mumbled a groan that went, “Duty calls. And for once, I wish I did not have to answer.”

“On that, we are in accord, dearest Tangerine,” Auntie Orange said, sighing and mumbling and groaning herself.

“Ditto,” said Babs before looking up at Applejack and saying, “Look AJ, I just wanna say that, yeah, my Moms and me's arguing with Pops about griffonfolk can get pretty hectic. Crazy. Off the wall bonkers! But ya know what? No matter how chaotic it gets, at the end of the day, we hug, say we're sorry for letting things spiral outta control, and promise to do better next time. And we do! It used to be, like, seven times a day, but now, it's more like once every couple of days! And we hardly even yell! Just stare each other down SUPER passive aggressively like you when you learned I was bullying applebloom and her friends!”

Applejack chuckled at the same time she snorted at that. “So, I take it I just caught y'all on a bad day?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Babs shrugged, before looking at her dad with nonpluss. “Pops' overreacting just cuz Twilight's here didn't help either.”

“Babs!” Applejack and Auntie Orange chided.

“No, no, no,” Uncle Orange said, waving away their concern with a hoof and pinching the bridge of his nose with the other. “She is… correct. For once, anyways.”

Babs was obviously unamused by the barb he had thrown there at the end, but the unamusement her mother and Applejack showed her kept her quiet and with a sigh, she relented and appeared acquiescent. Smart.

“Applejack, I am sorry that this familial reunion of sorts has taken the twists and turns it has. It is my solemn promise to make amends to you and your friends for the duration of your stay.”

“And to stallion up and discuss the griffon question, dear?” Auntie Orange asked, gently resting a hoof on his shoulder.

A silent nod was Uncle Orange's response, followed swiftly by, “Yes, dear. After all, I suppose it is rather... pertinent to the attempted bribery crises. But on the very stringent condition that you and our daughter BEHAVE yourselves.” He let go of Applejack and pointed very strongly at his wife and then at his daughter. “NO racial slurs. You may make your disdain known and even felt, but NO. RACIAL. SLURS. Do you comprehend the words flying from my muzzle?”

“I do believe so, yes,” Auntie Orange said with a slim smile

When Babs looked hesitant, a quick bonk to the head by her mother caused her quickly to reconsider dragging her hooves. Beaming much too wide to be wholly sincere, she then said, “Sounds like braytish to me!”

After Applejack and everypony, Babs and the guards VERY much included, were done laughing out loud at that, the farm mare looked to her uncle and said, “Thank ya kindly, unc. I'll hold ya to it.” She then looked at her Aunt and cousin with noticeably less warmth and added, “ALL y'all, to it.”

“Thank you for your acceptance, dear niece,” Uncle Orange said, nodding. “But I will admit, though I intend to make good regardless, might you humor an old stallion and just… refrain from telling your friends about the griffon question or why I ran off or other, related things till after the game, please? Returning to our seats will be awkward enough as it is after my flight, and I would at least like one major part of today to transpire sans tumult. Especially since, by all accounts, the game is going to practically be a slice of the superbowl at home.”

Applejack clicked her tongue and sucked her teeth at that. “Unc, I can't make no guarantees now. Best I can do is do my best, but my friends can be mighty inquisitive. Can't promise they can't get me to slip—element of honesty and all, ya know?—or find out by getting one of y'all to slip.”

“That is fine. Your best is all I can ask for, Applejack. And if it does come up despite everything—” Uncle Orange walked over to his top hat, patted the dust off, put it back on his head, and then shrugged. “C'est la vie, as I have been told the Prench are fond of saying.”

Applejack snickered and shook her head in amusement. Her father's brother though he be, whenever he brought up the fancy, schmancy foreign speak she barely got the gist of like that, it reminded her of just how smart he really was by Apple standards. Prissy, preppy, and a bit too complainy by her family's precedent, true. But smart.

“I hear ya, unc. I hear ya.”

Uncle Orange walked back to join his immediate kin in giving Applejack one final hug, he and they then letting her go and stepping back a bit.

He tipped his hat.

She tipped her hat back.

Auntie and Babs waved.

She waved back.

After a mutual exchange of, 'See ya soon!' from everypony, Uncle Orange, Auntie Orange, and Babs then about faced and walked out of the tunnel and onto the field, Jeeves, Jives, and Chives following silently close behind.

For her part, Applejack remained in place, continuing to wave even a little bit after they were outta sight.

It was a few more moments before her smile faded to a frown.

A few more moments later before her waving ceased altogether.

A few more moments later before she turned around and sighed, her hoof-falls feelin' almost as heavy and achy as her heart in light of what she'd learned and experienced in that there tunnel as she trotted back to her friends upstairs.

“Did you learn anything, Applejack?” Twilight asked.

Plopping back down in her seat and reacquainting herself with the soft comfort of the plush, Applejack closed her eyes, tilted her head to one side, and scratched the side of it. “Yeah. Reckon I did.”

Though Applejack knew her friends were expecting her to continue, she nevertheless stalled as long as she could by remaining silent so that she could properly enjoy sitting on the seat without no trouble.

Least, till Rainbow finally spoke up.

“Okay… feel like sharing with the rest of the class here, AJ?”

Applejack sighed, wondering exactly how she was gonna sail through such a treacherous straight. It didn't take her long, however, before she settled on her element being the best policy. “No, I don't think I will. Not till the game's over, anywho.” She opened her eyes and looked right. “And for the record, could y'all please not ask muh kin 'bout it till then either? I know y'all are super curious and what-not, but believe you me, it'd be best to just drop it for now and bring it up later.”

Her friends, naturally, looked quite resistant and hesitant in their own ways, especially Twilight and Rainbow. Of course, that was where the brunt of the push back charged from.

“Applejack! You can't withhold potentially critical information from us like that!” Twilight complained.

“Yeah! I mean, do you WANT us to have to deal with the extra problems not knowing now is probably gonna cause? It's like you've never been out on an adventure before!” Rainbow Dash said.

“Well then, it's a good thing ya know I have, and since I have, I feel I can rightly say that it ain't gonna do no harm to wait a couple more hours or however long it'll take for the game to be over, so could y'all please just humor me just this once!?” Applejack's eyes widened not long after the eyes of her friends widened at how loud she'd been and quickly tried to make amends by asking, far quieter, face appearing far more pleading, “Please?”

As expected, a stare off of sorts ensued between her and them, the intensity between her and Twilight and Rainbow obviously being the greatest. Eventually, though, all their looks softened, even those whose looks were pretty austere to start, and both Twilight and Rainbow looked at each other before focusing back on Applejack and saying, “Alright.”

“Don't know why you're being so secretive and… loud--” said Rainbow.

“But if you think it's best, then I—we—trust your judgment,” said Twilight before looking at everypony save AJ and RD. “Right, girls?”

“But of course, darling,” said Rarity.

Fluttershy silently nodded as was her custom.

“I dunno...” Pinkie Pie began, tapping her chin and looking off to the side. “After Twilight explained everything after you left, I am feeling mighty inquisitive. Can't promise I won't try getting you or your family to slip, especially since part of me thinks the answer might be kind of funny. Element of laughter and all, ya know?”

“Pinkie!” Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity all shouted at once.

“Okay, okay!” Pinkie shouted back, hooves up defensively and pushing horizontally against the air like she just didn't care. “I promise I won't say anything about anything, okay? Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in me eye! Pinkie promise!” she said, performing the requisite motions of said promise flawlessy, as was her custom.

Comical as it was to see a flusterer like Pinkie become a flustee so fast, Applejack hid the true extent of her mirth, smiling slightly and simply as she said, “Thanks, girls. I appreciate it. I really do.”

With the desire to pry any deeper into just what Applejack and her family had discussed vanishing speedily into the aether along with the suspicions they might have had, her friends elected to quickly change subjects to other, less potentially problem inducing, matters she had heard them conversing about as she'd made her way back down to their row. Small talk really, but the good kind. And that was fine by her. More than fine. It was enough to almost make her forget the horrible, awful, ugly truth she had just learned about her Aunt, cuz, and truly, Manehattan. She always figured there was somethin' 'bout the town that never sat quite right with her, something beyond it being a big city that just naturally clashed with her rural, farmpony ways and sensibilities. But she had never in a million years dreamed it was… what it was. She didn't know the disagreement between her and the city was THAT bad. She didn't know the disagreement between her Aunt and cuz on one side and her Unc on the other was… THAT bad. And THAT was the most terrifying thing. Applejack had been in and been witness to a number of arguments in her day. The non-physical, immaterial part of her being had even been subjected to intense manipulation before, Discord and the Canterlot Castle Maze, having her cutiemark switched when Twilight was trying to figure out that old spell that ascended her to alicornhood, and Starlight stealing her cutiemark standing out most prominently to her. But never like back in the tunnel. Never like somepony was directly attacking her soul and element. Or doing so, so fiercely.

How exactly would she go about explainin' that one to her friends? And, maybe more importantly, exactly what kind of friendship problem did that portend?

Soon enough though, she was brought out of these and all other thoughts, along with probably everyone else in Starfield, when the stadium’s PA system crackled to life again with such suddenness and such an echo that it drowned out the din of the crowd in such a way that everypony winced back from the pain it induced in their ears. Applejack wondered why it seemed so much more overbearing than back in the player's tunnel, and eventually settled on chalking it up to the fat that she wasn't surrounded by dozens of feet of concrete no more and that there actually were speakers around her now, and plenty of them to boot.

“Attention sports-fans, please turn your attention to the center of the field now and listen to a word from Manehattan's very own, Mayor Orange!”

After she and her friends massaged out the pain in their ears, Applejack took the announcer's suggestion to heart. She looked smack dab in the center of the field to find her Unc, Auntie, and Babs before a podium on a wooden stage that must have been quickly set up since the last time she looked that way, as she hadn't noticed it during her conversation with them all in the tunnel. Their guards stood on the grass below and in front of the stage.

Uncle Orange soon ascended the three short steps of the podium and, tapping a forehoof gingerly upon the mic there to make sure it was working properly, he muttered out, “Testing, testing, one, two, three…”

When he seemed satisfied that the mic would adequately carry his voice through the PA system, he then coughed into a hoof to clear his throat before commencing his speech.

“Citizens of Manehattan! It is with the highest honor and greatest joy that I welcome you all to the beginnings of a most historic day! Not merely in the history of the tremendous sport of hoofball, but the history of our big, beautiful, beloved orange of a city! A day where--”

With all the prior warning and all the sudden fury of a thunderbolt, the stage erupted in a shower of wood, dirt and grass so big and forceful that Uncle Orange, Auntie Orange, Babs, and their guards were lifted off their hooves and hurled forward halfway between their prior spots in the middle of the field to where Applejack and her friends were. Needless to say, she and they very quickly looked every which way they could, trying to figure out what was happening, all their eyes glued to the field. Soon, Applejack's own eyes settled on her family and their protectors, who lay sprawled out on the turf, hardly moving, their groans of pain lost in all the delayed shrieks of terror going off in the stadium around her.

From the upper corner of her eyes, she caught movement, and looked at the bottom of the big smoke cloud billowing up hundreds of feet into the air, right where the stage had been moments ago, to see a shadow moving through it, growing ever lighter and more defined as it drew closer.

When it was finally free from the obscuring particulates in the air, and she got her first good look at it, Applejack gasped, and her friends were not far behind her in doing so themselves.

Or, in Pinkie’s case, saying, “Le gasp fois quatre!”