//------------------------------// // The Answer // Story: I Cast Gun // by hamster wizard //------------------------------// Something bad was happening in Ponyville. Twilight and Fluttershy were en route to the town, flying at a relaxed pace. Pinkie was having a grand time riding on Twilight’s back as they soared through the sky, taking in the fresh air. However the three of them were shocked upon their approach to Ponyville, as they saw that the town was practically in shambles. Ponies were scrambling around trying to salvage their belongings and helping the injured as smoke wafted from the ruined buildings. The group landed in front of Twilight’s castle, which was mostly intact, and regrouped with the ponies there. A large gathering of her friends ran up to her and filled her in. Surprising her the most with their presence, were princesses Celestia and Luna who approached her. “Twilight.” Celestia spoke, “You’ve arrived at a grave time.” “Is this Trixie’s fault? Please tell me it’s Trixie’s fault.” Twilight asked eagerly. “Trixie is right here!” Came a shout from Trixie. Celestia shook her head, “No Twilight, it is not Trixie’s fault.” “Damn.” “Damn indeed my student. For you see the angel of creation, Stultius has awakened. She seeks nothing less than the destruction of our world, and is headed to Canterlot as we speak.” “Really? This kinda came out of nowhere. Shouldn’t we be stopping it then?” “Alas, my sister and I have already fought the creature and lost. Right now you are our last hope for Equestria, as Sweetie Belle was just grounded by her sister." Twilight looked over and noticed Rarity and Sweetie Belle having a heated discussion, “Come on Rarity! The public is in danger!” “My evening is in danger! There is no way I’m allowing my sister to chase after that abomination! You’re coming back to Carousel Boutique to help me clean up! And take off that ridiculous suit, I swear this phase is going to be the death of me.” Rarity said with an overly dramatic tone. “It’s not a phase Rarity! I’m an Umbra Witch now! It’s a big responsibility! I almost beat her the first time anyway! How was I supposed to know she had another form?!” Celestia cleared her throat, “Canterlot has already been evacuated. Our current plan is to take the fight to her, with the city as our battle ground. You and your friends will use the Elements of Harmony to stop her. Luna and I shall assist, providing whatever support we may. We are confident that with all our powers combined we might just have a chance.” “Pass.” Celestia blinked once. Twice. Three times. “Pass? Am I missing something? Luna?” Luna shrugged. “I pass. Don’t need help. I’m going to Canterlot myself. I’ll let you know when I’m done.” With that Twilight lit her horn and vanished with a pop. The crowd muttered among themselves with concern. “Is nopony else concerned about this?” Celestia addressed the crowd. "Not at all darling!” “Nah, Twi knows her stuff.” “She did just kill a whole bunch of ninjas...” “Ooh yeah! I was there! I saw it!” “Heh, awesome.” “She taught me the gun spell!” “I trust her, she’s never steered me wrong.” “Trixie hopes she dies.” “Shut up or I’ll roast you again. I know she’ll be fine.” “Verily sister, we worry not for thine student.” Celestia smiled a bit, “I suppose I should have a bit of faith in her.” She gazed off toward Canterlot, “Godspeed you magnificent bastard. Or should it be me speed? Ah fuck it.” ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\ /̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ Twilight popped into existence atop the highest balcony of Canterlot castle, resting atop the tallest tower. It was cool and breezy, and would have been an otherwise nice afternoon if it weren’t for the catastrophe of biblical proportions approaching the city. Even at her height the princess found herself craning her neck to get a good look at the monster as she flew toward the city. Stultius floated menacingly high above the clouds with hundreds of normal sized Angels circling herself. She had the appearance of a massive marble statue of an alicorn, easily twice the size of the entire castle. She had eight golden wings of abnormal length that stretched like tentacles arching from her back, and was adorned in massive golden jewelry across her form, complete with a tall pointed crown. Twilight frowned and pulled out a small notepad, TO DO: Become princess Kiss on Rarity Invent gun spell Kill God She scratched her head with a pencil, mulling over the final line of text. Eventually she sighed and put the pad away. She could work it out later. Stultius soon hovered in the sky directly above Canterlot. Twilight glared at the moster, daring her to make the first move. As it turned out, she had no problem doing so as she charged a menacing red laser and fired it directly at the castle. “Uh oh.” Twilight uttered at she teleported a few miles to the side. The laser tore through the city, blasting the castle to pieces and sending building flying into the sky. The force was tremendous, shaking the foundation of the mountain. Twilight popped back to the balcony she had been standing on, now finding herself several hundred feet in the sky and upside down. “You're mine fuckstick!” Now she was pissed. Twilight cast a complex spell, and time slowed to a crawl. She hopped onto the side of the tower and glanced down the structure. It had flipped completely upside down, and the bottom of the tower was pointed toward Stultius. Twilight began sprinting up it toward her foe. Rocks hurtled through the air in slow motion as Twilight ran. She could also see the smaller Angels beginning to make their way toward her, so she prepared to fight. She casually fired bullets as she ran, spitting spells like a machine gun. Angels exploded in clouds of red and she ran past, ducking and weaving past debris. Eventually she hit the end of her tower and took off with a wing flap, landing herself on a slab of stone blasted off some building. She took a few shots before leaping to another rock, leap-frogging her way closer to her target. She soon ran out of platforms to leap from and took wing, flying through the atmosphere higher and higher. Stultius glowed with a divine radiance, and began flinging spears of light toward Twilight. She careened side to side as she flew, dodging the projectiles and downing more Angels. More beams swept toward Twilight, and she teleported leaps ahead, dodging the blasts. As she drew near the monster, Twilight could make out the placid rage on her face. Stultius threw up a transparent sphere of light, surrounding her massive form. Firing a few shots at the field, Twilight quickly learned it was impenetrable. She solved this by teleporting inside. The Angel responded by letting out an otherworldly wail. Sprinting around the barrier, Twilight took shots at the monster's head with little affect. She let out more screams as she attempted to skewer Twilight with her golden wings, thrusting them toward the barrier like javelins. Twilight dodged deftly and took the air just in time to avoid Stultius electrocuting the surface. Twilight then flew directly up to her face, and stood upon a barrier of solid magic. Twilight gazed upon the beast’s eternal grimace and spoke, “Damn, you are one ugly motherfucker aren’t you?” She charged her horn and fired a veritable laser of bullets into the Angels forehead. It wailed as chunks of it’s stony form were blasted off, writhing in pain. Twilight didn’t let up, conjuring a second copy of herself to fire twice as fast. Then a third. A fourth. In a few short moments there were 50 copies of herself letting loose a stream of gunshots toward Stultius as she flailed helplessly, and her barrier faded away. Once she was finally satisfied the Angel was no longer a threat, she dispelled the copies and landed herself on a nearby piece of rubble. She frowned, a bit put out by all this. The creature still floated there, albeit much less aggresive, heaving in discomfort. She then was struck with an idea, and cast a short spell. The sky above Canterlot was quickly filled by Twilight Sparkle, now three times the height of Stultius as she hovered there. She charged her horn, and let loose her final spell. “BANG!” Twilight’s shout echoed across the countryside, knocking over trees and shattering windows. The shot itself was even more impressive. It was as though the sky broke, with a shock wave of sound blasting out from the epicenter in a visible cascade. A magic bullet twice the size of the Angel left an afterimage as it shot across the sky. With a massive crack, Stultius was swatted away like a fly, shattering into innumerable pieces and flying into the sky. Twilight shrunk down rapidly, and then teleported herself to the ground with little fanfare. She shook herself off slightly, dislodging dust and pebbles from her coat as time resumed it’s normal flow. She then watched contently as the debris of the battle slowly cascaded to the ground like a monsoon of stone. A crack echoed out from the mountain, and Canterlot itself slowly slid off it’s perch, crumbling down into the valley. "Huh. There goes the neighborhood." Twilight sighed. “Twilight!” The mare turned to see her friends galloping toward her, lead by the speaker, Rainbow Dash. She sounded thrilled, “We saw the whole thing on our way! You really did it!” Princess Celestia stepped forward, “My student, you have saved us once again, and Equestria is forever in your debt. I thank you.” “I appreciate this girls. But there’s one thing I couldn’t have ever done this without: the gun spell! "The entire group groaned, "But also my friends!” Twilight said with a big grin. The entire group let out a cheer and grouped in for a hug. Even Trixie who hesitantly set a hoof on Pinkie’s back. The hug broke up, and Twilight brushed herself off a bit, “So Rarity, how about a little kiss for saving the day? You know, for the dashing heroine?” She wiggled her eyebrows a bit as she spoke. Rarity giggled a bit with a hoof to her mouth, “Oh darling, you are too funny!” She turned and walked off with the rest of the group as they all shared a good natured laugh, leaving Twilight standing alone with an awkward grin on her face. “Someday Rarity. Someday.”