Rainbow Dash was reclining on a small patch of clouds she had accumulated, speculating about Ponyville’s newest guests. Those two bubble-gum coloured Unicorns didn’t seem all that bad, although Charlie was definitely on the verge of a mental breakdown when they confronted him. On the other hand they had said that he had ‘fulfilled his destiny’ or whatever, so that hopefully meant he had nothing more to fear from them.
“Oh nooo!”
“Get away! Get awaaay!”
Dash’s eyes shot open. What was that? She turned her gaze ever so slowly, and there were the bubble-gum unicorns, the blue-shaded unicorn was wearing a diving mask, and flailing his limbs about aimlessly while seemingly defying the laws of reality, spinning around in circles as he hovered a few centimetres above the clouds. Mounted on his back was the rose-coloured unicorn, thrashing a lacrosse racket about without direction while calling out at unseen opponents. Suddenly the blue one noticed her.
“Raaiinbow Daash!” he whinnied, “You have to play Water Lacrosse with us.”
“The Jellyfishes demaaand it!” The pink one added.
At this, a series of questions flooded through Rainbow Dash’s mind. What the hay is ‘water lacrosse’? What jellyfish? How did they get up here without wings? Why do they need me to join? Sadly, Rainbow Dash was too shocked to actually voice any of these, and had to be satisfied with allowing her jaw to hang slack as she gawked at the two physics-transcending unicorns.
“What’re you waiting around for?” the blue unicorn asked her with incredulity, “We need to get going!”
“She doesn’t have a mount yet!” The pink one whinnied in reply.
At this the two Unicorns gave each other a knowing look.
“Chaaarlie!” They both said in unison.
In a bright flash of light and a cloud of technicoloured smoke, a very confused Charlie appeared near Rainbow Dash.
“Agh- wha- what?! I thought you two said you’d leave me alone!” Charlie shouted indignantly, then he noticed an equally surprised rainbow-mane pegasus sitting near him. “Oh,” he said, racking his memory for what her name was, what was it… Rainbows… Rainbow Flash? No… Dash! It’s Dash! “Hi, Dash.” he muttered cautiously.
“H-hey?” Rainbow Dash responded, still in shock, as she slowly waved a hoof at him.
“There’s no more tiiime!” called the pink unicorn, addressing Rainbow Dash, “Quickly, get onto Charlie before the jellyfishes catch up!”
“Too laaate!” cried the blue unicorn.
At this, several floating Portuguese Man O’ War Jellyfish broke through the cloudline, all of which were wielding lacrosse rackets in their tendrils. Rainbow Dash looked back at Charlie.
“Quiet day, huh?” she asked.
“I wasn’t betting on it.” Charlie replied, completely unfazed.
The bubble-gum coloured unicorns ‘swam’ by, the pink one scooped Rainbow Dash up in his lacrosse racket, depositing her onto Charlie’s back.
“Follow me, Charlie!” the blue unicorn whinnied, paddling off through the clouds.
Charlie glanced at the two retreating unicorns, and then back at the jellyfishes, which were drawing closer, waving their lacrosse rackets at him menacingly. With a sigh, he ran off after the neon-coloured unicorns. After a solid minute of galloping, he finally drew level with them.
“So can somebody explain what the hell is going on?!” He called to them exasperatedly.
“Rainbow Dash is playing Water Lacrosse with us!” the pink unicorn informed him, “We need to find the Codpiece of Destiny!” as always, their vacant smiles remained unflinching.
“The what now?!” Rainbow Dash prayed to Celestia that she had not, actually heard them just say that they were about to find a-
“Geronimooo!” The pink unicorn called, suddenly plummeting below the clouds.
Charlie felt his own footing suddenly giving away, he was only able to yell a surprised “Oh SHI-!” before tumbling through the clouds, plummeting to the earth below. Rainbow Dash instinctively spread her wings; she was able to sustain Charlie a short distance before her grip eventually gave out under his horse-sized body, leaving him to plummet like a stone. He ended up passing the two deranged unicorns as he fell.
“Chaaarlie!” One of them called to him.
“WHAT?!” The gray unicorn was not in the best of moods, considering his current dilemma.
“Prepare for impact!” the blue unicorn called.
“OH WELL YOU DON’T SAY-?” Charlie yelled back angrily, before slamming into the ground, crumpling into a pile of broken bones and raw pain. The blue and pink unicorns, who had somehow managed to survive their landing completely unscathed, approached.
“Oh no, Charlie got a boo-boo!” the blue one declared in a sing-song voice.
In another flash of light, all of Charlie’s bones sealed themselves back together. Although that didn’t help the agony he still felt searing through his body.
“…ow.” He mumbled, as Rainbow Dash flew down with a panicked expression.
“Holy cow, are you okay?” She asked in a panicked voice, helping him stand up.
“Yeah,” he wheezed, “just fine, real great job on the whole stopping-me-from-falling-to-my-death, champ.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, at least his bitter sarcasm hadn’t left him.
“Come ooon,” the pink unicorn beckoned, “we have to go through the jungle to find the Lost Temple of Destiny!”
“Destineeeiiigh!” the blue unicorn chorused, performing an impossibly slow backflip while flailing his legs about for good measure.
Rainbow Dash stared after the two neon unicorns as they turned towards the tree line, still trying to make sense of recent events. She gave Charlie a sideways glance.
“Hey,” the grey unicorn told her, “nobody’s forcing you to do this.” He paused, thinking for a moment,
“You could try and run, but I don’t think it’ll help.” He added, dejectedly following the bubble-gum coloured unicorns into the dense brush. Rainbow Dash mulled over his words for a moment, before catching up to Charlie, falling into step beside him. She would later realise that it would’ve been a better idea to try running.
After a few minutes of what felt like being led around in circles by the Pink and Blue unicorns, the motley group came to a stop.
“What the hay is that?” Rainbow asked.
Blocking their path was a disturbing mixture between a lion, a goat, and a snake.
“It’s a Chimera, Rainbow Dash, a maaagical Chimera!” the blue unicorn’s vacant smile remained on his face, completely unflinching as the creature opened its mouth to reveal a maw of giant teeth, communicating something to the group in a series of growls and other noises.
“Φυσικά, εμείς δεν πρόκειται να βουνό καραμέλα, ανόητο!” The blue unicorn exclaimed in perfectly pronounced, but terribly phrased Greek. “Πρέπει να βρούμε το χαμένο ναό του πεπρωμένου! Χόβερκραφτ μου είναι γεμάτο χέλια!”
“Nyeeigh!” the pink unicorn concurred, suddenly bulging as the fabric of reality desperately tried to repair itself around him. He snapped back to his original form abruptly.
The Chimera regarded them carefully, before letting out a series of goat bleats, growls, and hisses, before becoming silent again.
“The Chimera has spoken,” the pink unicorn whinnied, “he has shown us the way to the lost temple!”
“Oh, good: I was beginning to worry you two had just gone completely friggin’ insane.” Charlie muttered sarcastically, trudging after the two neon-coloured unicorns as they cantered past the Chimera. Dash followed the gray unicorn, a traumatized expression fixed on her face.
"I’ve got to be dreaming…” the cyan pegasus mumbled to herself, “I’m going to wake up and find myself back in Cloudsdale, I’m just dreaming…"
“Oh hey, we’re here.” Charlie deadpanned.
In front of them was a small Mayan Shrine, with a sizeable stone door blocking entrance into it. Situated above the door was a large, jovial-looking Mayan statue. Upon entering close proximity, the Mayan statue’s eyes opened, and stared intently at Rainbow Dash. The blue and pink unicorns said nothing, staring onward with the same mildly happy expression on their face.
"Umm... what's going on?" Rainbow Dash asked, a worried tone in her voice.
"Τραγουδήστε για εμάς, ισχυρό θεός των Μάγιας, μοιραστείτε τη σοφία σας μαζί μας!" exclaimed the pink unicorn.
The statue kicked into action, singing to Rainbow Dash about the virtues of compassion and mutual understanding before combusting into a fireball.
The entranceway to the shrine opened, revealing a dark passageway.
"You have to go into the shriiine!" chimed the blue unicorn, "for destinyyy!"
Charlie became very panicked at this, "No, Dash, whatever you do, don't-!" He vanished in a cloud of exotic smoke.
"Oh nooo!" consoled the pink unicorn, "Charlie teleported back to Ponyville, now we'll never know what he was going to say!"
"You have to go into the temple of destiny!" the blue unicorn encouraged her, his vacant smile ever-enduring.
Both of the unicorns began chanting Rainbow Dash's name, trying to encourage her.
"Dashie! Dashie! Dashie!"
The cyan pegasus gulped nervously, and stepped beyond the threshold of the doorway, into the temple. The stone door suddenly shut behind her with unnatural speed, plunging Rainbow Dash into total darkness.
"Guys?" Rainbow Dash called nervously.
She felt something heavy hit her on the head, knocking her unconcious.
~~~~~
"Uuurrrgh..." Rainbow Dash awoke with a throbbing headache, she looked around to find that she was still sitting on the cloud she had been reclining on before she had embarked on her demented quest. Maybe it was all just a dream... She sat up, and immediately noticed that her neck felt much lighter.
They had shaved her mane.