//------------------------------//
// Chapter 4.2 
// Story: Apostle 
// by EquestrianKnight97 
//------------------------------//

Having left her friends, Twilight went to the kitchen two cars away to ask the staff about Starlight. Most of the crew were busy preparing orders, but luckily one of the chefs was kind enough to tell the alicorn that her friend may have gone to the last car on the train. This helpful fact took Twilight on another trip through two more cars, with the first one holding regular passengers in their seats while the second one had four rooms on each side behind closed doors. 

When Twilight slid open the rear door with her magic, she was met with the sight of Starlight leaning against the railings of the car platform. Having heard the door open, the purple unicorn turned around to see who the unexpected visitor was, and almost immediately  she jerked her head back towards the moving tracks in a panic. To Starlight's possible misfortune, this did not dissuade Twilight from leaving her be. Instead, Twilight stepped through the door and onto the platform.

The platform was small, being perhaps between ten to fifteen feet long, so Twilight found it best to approach the right side of the railings that Starlight did not occupy. Resting her forelegs on the cold metal beam, she brought her attention to the mare beside her, trying to interpret any emotions that her face was betraying. As far as what could be seen, Starlight was not as distressed as Twilight was expecting, but nonetheless, Twilight was not willing to drop whatever issue that was clearly plaguing Starlight's mind all because she was feigning a lack of vulnerability.

Though Twilight wanted to say something to Starlight the moment she spotted her, it was best to wait and think of the right words to say before opening her mouth. She held no anger to Starlight for the events that happened earlier today, though the confusion of the whole was something that was wrong to ignore for too long, especially if the mission to the Troll Confederation was going to be a bit of a hooful. 

For now, Twilight simply stared at the passing environment all around her and Starlight. Over an hour had passed since all eight of them had departed from Ponyville, and with the small town distances away all that was present was just rural landscape, which under the light of the full moon was painted in a cool, relaxing hue of blue. To her left, just past Starlight's frame, was a vast, pale stretch of grassland with a large lake situated in the middle that gave off faint little sparkles, and beyond the grassland were a few green hills that rose from the ground. And distances away to her right was a dense strip of forestland populated by tall trees, with a small mountain range peeking just above the dark green foliage. 

To her grateful surprise, Twilight could feel her mind put at ease by the blue-tinted view of the surrounding countryside, despite the anxieties pestering her. The peaceful ambiance of the whole environment around her, from the cloudless, moonful night sky above to the ever-shifting landscape, was working on the sore spots on her brain like how a masseur would press down on the aching areas of a client's back. Even the rocky vibrations of the train's thunderous motions that Twilight felt through the railings ran at a pace rather soothing to the senses than usually expected.

"I really appreciate the dinner you sent me and the others," Twilight said, not waiting for an invitation to start a discussion. "I didn't get to try anything yet, but I know that Spike, Dash, and Pinkie Pie got a lot of stuff that seemed to satisfy their taste-buds."

A small smile arose from Starlight's lips."Thanks for mentioning that," the purple unicorn said, her gentle voice displaying comfort at the unexpected conversation. "I know you told me not to get too crazy with the bits you loaned me, but I thought that the dinner was worth it. Since this is a last-minute trip and everypony must have had their own plans for the week, I figured some nice food would help with any frustrations they might have."

Without any hint of being provoked, Twilight shifted her mouth into a skeptical, doubting frown that she aimed at Starlight. Without having to gasp or make sudden movements, the unicorn responded to her mentor's questioning stare with a lowering of her ears and a sad gaze down at the moving train tracks.

"While I'm sure you're glad that you made the other happy," Twilight stated, "I'm pretty sure that dinner was meant more for me." She paused for a short moment. "Given today's events."

"Of course," Starlight said, refusing to look back at Twilight. "I figured you would pick up on that. And I'm sure that you can't just let this issue be thrown under the rug." 

The alicorn shook her head. "Nope. Not a chance."

Starlight groaned and shut her eyes shut, burying her head in her forelegs as she leaned against the railings. "It was never meant to happen like that," she mumbled. "Everything was fine at first. I thought I was just helping these little foals with their art projects and that was that. But the next thing I know, all of a sudden I'm trying to do things my way. All out of the fear that those foals were heading down a bad road." She sighed. "And I couldn't even hide how much of a mess I was on the inside."

The shame and regret present in Starlight's voice was something that Twilight could sympathize with, though not personally experience at the moment, once those emotions reached her ear. However, one thing that she did share with Starlight right now was the feeling of confusion over the events that transpired earlier this afternoon. Twilight delved as deep as she could into her memories of today in order to replay the main events. 

Twilight and Starlight had started off the afternoon by traveling to the primary schoolhouse where the contestants were prepping on the playground. After meeting with Cheerilee and reassuring Starlight that aiding these foals was crucial to her future in helping other ponies, as the purple unicorn was dragging her hooves along the way, Twilight went on to help three foals that Rarity said wanted to sing. For nearly an hour, the princess guided her rental students through a lengthy yet laughable ordeal of getting them to sing at the right tune and volume for their respective songs. Just as things were becoming more manageable, Twilight heard screaming across the other side of the playground and rushed over alongside Rarity and another adult to investigate. 

At the scene of the disturbance, Twilight and the others saw Starlight rambling erratically over a little filly at a table while pointing around at two other foals nearby. Twilight was not able to fully understand the context of the situation, but from what she could pick up Starlight was ranting about several topics such as "not feeling worthless" and "preventing yourself from feeling better than your friends" to the shocked foals in her presence. It was not long after the purple unicorn was in her sight that Twilight decided to put things to an end by approaching Starlight and giving her a serious look that halted her rant.

From what she could still recall, after the scene died down and Rarity and Pinkie Pie reassured everypony else that they could go back to their work, Twilight brought Starlight aside away from the others in order to get her to cool down. But just before the two mares could start a conversation over what had happened, Spike suddenly ran towards Twilight all sweaty and out of breath, having ran from the castle to the schoolhouse to deliver her a letter marked as urgent.

Any hope of quickly solving Starlight's problem was pushed aside once Twilight read the contents of the letter that Steven Magnet sent, and with that the faint sense on her cutiemark that nearly resembled the sensation of the map calling her on a mission. The weak jolt that was usually much stronger put the princess on edge as she worried about the defunct map missing out on friendship missions, especially since neither Rarity nor Pinkie Pie felt anything similar when she asked them. 

The rest of her memories were clear. Seeing Steven's request as important, Twilight told Rarity and Pinkie Pie to go home and pack what they could for the week's trip before meeting her and the other girls at the train station tonight. She also advised Spike and Starlight to do the same before she flew off in a haste to find Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy. 

The whole past few weeks to Twilight have felt like a roller-coaster ride that went through several high falls and intense, stomach-churning loops before coming to a sudden halt, only to suddenly start the mess thing all over again before the passengers could take a break. She had dealt with traveling through separate timelines in order to prevent Starlight from ending her friendship and ruining Equestria; had traveled back into the human world to help Sunset Shimmer with a magical situation going on there, only to arrive once it was all over; had begun research on fixing the map when it would no longer work; and finally had to deal with saving the Crystal Empire from being overwhelmed by a mighty snowstorm when her one-day-old niece shattered the Crystal Heart.

Excluding the carefully crafted essay assignments for Starlight, Twilight's time within less of a month had been spent on solving complex situations -- and with the journey to the Troll Confederation, she was certain that tomorrow and the coming days would be just as difficult and surprising for her. But at least for tonight, the alicorn could have a moment of peace underneath the night sky, despite having to deal with another issue -- even if it was not life-threatening.

"I'm just trying to put what happened altogether," Twilight said in a gentle voice, wanting to guide Starlight into this discussion by cooperation. "Pinkie Pie told me and Rarity about how she heard you saying that you were doing all of that magic to help improve the foals' projects, but she wasn't there to see what caused your freakout."

Starlight lifted her head just enough for her blue eyes to peek out from her forelegs and stare at Twilight. For seconds her eyes lingered on the purple alicorn, with the latter believing that it was a sign that the unicorn was about to open up to her problems. Instead, Starlight redirected her gaze back to the moving train tracks, causing Twilight to sigh. 

"I'm not upset with you," Twilight said with additonal patience. "I could see from how you were reacting that your actions were done more out of fright than anger. But you have to understand, Starlight -- this isn't going to go away just by simply ignoring it. You have to confront what happened and see what you can do to avoid it next time." She scooted a bit closer to Starlight and leaned her head in. "And as your friend, I want to see how I can help you manage any shortcomings you think you have. Please, Starlight."

Starlight's eyes returned to Twilight, who was now looking down at her with sympathetic attention. With the sight of those vibrant purple eyes, seemingly ready to provide comfort to her, the purple unicorn straightened up her posture just a little bit as she still laid against the railing. With the air around her a little less tense than previously, Starlight felt she could release a held-down sigh.

"Okay," she said to her mentor. "After we parted, Pinkie showed me three foals that needed help with their art projects. One was doing a clay statue of a mountain range, another was creating a house out of popsicle sticks, and the last one wanted to make a painting of a family of ducks in a pond." 

Her gaze left Twilight's face and was brought up to the moonlit sky night above -- watching it with a serene expression. "Once I knew what each foal wanted done, things were easy to deal with at first. I helped the filly creating her clay mountains give them a more realistic appearance by reminding her of how real-life ones have grooves on the sides; the filly dealing with her popsicle house needed a little bit of guidance after her first draft fell apart due to a lto of glue weighing it down; and the colt simply needed to be reminded of how much space he had to leave on his canvas so that he could paint all the details he wanted."

A small smile curled up across the purple unicorn's face as she reminisced on her experience. "It was really nice helping them with their little mistakes and getting to know more about them. Their projects reminded me of some of the games me and Sunburst used to be busy with as foals. Berry Meadow, the filly with the clay mountain, talked about how her mom dealt with sculpting and how her dad was a nature writer and photographer, and that at times they would let her be their little helper." Her grin beamed a bit more. "She was really proud of the work her parents did, and even said that she wanted to be just like them when she grew up."

Though she could not see it with her back turned, Starlight was receiving a supportive smile from Twilight, who was glad to listen in on her opening up about finding joy from helping other ponies. As this warm thought fluttered around the alicorn's mind, her eyes caught a faint glow from her left corner. Turning her head in the light's direction, Twilight was greeted with the sight of a small town in the valley distances away from the tracks. From her best guess, the town consisted of a few small buildings, though the most noticeable was the one emitting more light at the end -- perhaps a hospital or a town hall. 

Starlight was quick to follow Twilight's gaze, and her sight on the town caused her bright face to falter, nearly reverting it to the gloom look that greeted Twilight when she came to the balcony -- and Twilight had definitely noticed this change in outlook. 

"However," Starlight continued with a now bleak tone. "I guess you can say that my problem started with Berry Meadow. Or rather what I learned about her." 

"What do you mean by that?" Twilight asked, her verbal concern touching on Starlight's shoulder like one's hoof. 

"Well, what I learned came from Skyflower -- the filly doing the popsicle stick house. She was still upset with how bad her first draft was, even though I told her not to feel embarrased for using too much glue, so I sat down with her and tried to cheer her up. She told me that she was just worried that this project was going to be just as bad as her other arts and crafts assignments in kindergarten. She mentioned that although lots of her classmates make fun of her for it, it was Berry Meadow who was always the most vocal of it."

Twilight winced, understanding now where the events of this story were going without having to request more details from Starlight. The purple unicorn turned her head back to Twilight, and the despondent look on the princess was enough to inform her of the obvious discomfort that they were both now sharing between each other. 

"So when I heard that, that took me by surprise. I mean, from my interaction with her Berry seemed like a confident but nice filly. So I figured I'd go back over to talk to her to get the full story. She admitted that she have gone a bit too far with her comments at times, but she swore that she didn't see it as bullying. She only stopped with those critiques when her parents learned about them from the teacher, and then they lectured her on using her words more carefully." 

Starlight took another short pause, looking down at the car platform as another unpleasant feeling entered her mind. The silence in the night was finally broken by Twilight.

"Well, even though she said she wasn't trying to be a bully, I'm guessing that wasn't enough for you to... prevent you from reacting the way you did back there?"

Starlight shook her head. "No. It was what she said after. Though she admitted her fault, she had to comment about how she just couldn't help herself from providing feedback on others' work -- regardless of whether they asked her or not. She talked all proudly of how good of an artist she was and felt that others' needed to look up to her for guidance, especially since a lot of adults in her life praise her work. And hearing that just..."

Starlight raised a shaky hoof as she stopped herself from continuing any further, having to take a few deep breaths to steady her nerves as she sought comfort from the nature all around her -- all while avoiding the alicorn's concerning gaze. Her wordless breaths hung around in the air for several minutes before she could get herself composed, though her eyes did not return to Twilight. 

"She was a filly. I had to keep reminding myself of that as I got more --" She released a seething breath out of anger. "-- and more frustrated hearing her flaunt her talent like that. All her hopes of getting her cutiemark in artwork and her impatience with how ponies would soon flock all around her because of her good she would be." A forehoof was brought up to her temple to rub out as little anxiety as possible. "It just ticked me off how she couldn't see how her obsession with being good at just ONE thing was going to send her down a path of making others miserable for not being as good -- just like Skyflower! Not to mention that she would only have a small group of 'friends' who would be willing to deal with her for who-knows-why. I mean, I just can't--"

The mentally disheveled purple unicorn caught herself once again, a shocked expression on her face as she wondered about how she allowed her words to come out of her mouth while betraying her rattled emotions to Twilight. Her back was still turned to the alicorn, whose presence Starlight felt looming over her like a shadow, though she knew that Twilight was not one who was eager to bring her down for her mistakes. Nonetheless, the shame of how she was behaving was enough motivation for Starlight to refrain from losing it any further.

"But like I said before, she was just a foal. To me, something must have gone wrong in her life where she wasn't prevented from having these grandiose thoughts of herself. And with Skyflower, she must have gone through something too if she felt that she couldn't accomplish anything. Therefore, I felt that these foals needed an intervention, before they believed that talents were the only things that would make them happy and content. I knew it might have been wrong to provide them that much help with the contest, but my mind was in too much of a panic to really care about that. I just wanted every foal in my care to have an equal chance of winning.

"The first thing I did was tell Berry Meadow that her mountains needed to be more simple than complex, so I got rid of the grooves made and limited her paint options. She got upset at that, talking about how she could do better than a bland sculpture, but I told her that she was still a filly and that there wasn't any need for her to that much work in order to feel good about herself. Next, I checked on Skyflower and decided that the best thing to cheer her up was to use my magic to duplicate some popsicle sticks so that I could construct a much larger house, but then she was upset about how it didn't look like her grandma's home, which was what she intended to make, even after I said mine would help her win. After all, I didn't want to her overshadowed by everypony else. 

"But after Skyflower said that, I began to worry more, and you could say that that is where I started to fall apart. I made as many projects as I could out of the sticks and told her to just pick one that she saw as best -- even though she told me already that she wanted to do grandma's house. I checked in with Berry and had an argument with her when she got more paint and tried to put back the grooves on her mountains, where she went on about how it was her project and that she could do whatever she want. Though I know she had a point when looking back, at the time I was so concerned that I just teleported the clay mountains away and told her to wait until I was done helping Skyflower."

Starlight took a pause from long-winded explanation and looked back at Twilight. The purple unicorn expected her words to have taken away a bit of patience from her friend, but instead Twilight kept a confident, composed posture and watched over her like an angelic stone statue. The dark purple mare's face was blank yet serene at the same time, betraying no hints of frustration or confusion. Starlight could not see a smile, yet she knew that Twilight was encouraging her to continue on with voicing her troubling, knowing that it would help out the both of them.

"After I lectured Berry I went over to Skyflower and was shocked to see her starting her own popsicle project. I asked her why she didn't choose the ones I made, and she said that she wanted to make something that she did herself and could be proud of -- even if she didn't win the contest. I tried to convince her that she should just go with my idea because she deserved an equal chance at winning, and I even popped up a few more popsicle projects for her to choose from. But that didn't convince her.

"I spent so much time trying to appease Skyflower that I forgot to check in on Berry Meadow the whole time. When I remembered that filly, I turned around to find her trying to create a new clay statue, which made me a bit more agitated and flustered, especially when she told me -- all pouty -- that she was making something better than the mountains. When I told her to stop trying to outshine the other kids, she reminded me that this was a competition and that she only had to worry about herself -- or something like that. 

"When she said that, I used my magic to get her to stop her work and I came face-to-face with her. I can't remember all of my words, but I know I went on a bit of a lecture about she needs to be aware of how flaunting herself could hurt others and cause her to be without any friends, and how acting so proud of yourself would just make things worse down the line when she realized one day all of the bad stuff she's done. I know I was upset with her, but I think my words were more of an anxious warning than a spiteful criticism. In my mind, I really was worried that this filly would lose her innocence the more enamored she became with her talent."

Starlight took another long pause and turned away from Twilight.

"The next thing I know, I just feel somepony else behind me. I turn around to see you staring at me with your frown, and I look around the playground to see a few other adults and foals all looking at me as well. And I'm pretty sure you know the rest of the story."

With her words spent, the purple unicorn leaned her torso against the railing and stared out amongst the moving countryside. The train had passed by the village by now, as only patches of dense woodlands were all that were present at the moment. On every such occasion that train would pass under the foliage of a woodland patch, in which both mares would be covered in dancing specks of shadows and moonlight. 

Minutes passed by a neither mare said a word -- the only sound filling the air being the uninterrupted mechanical hums of the roaring locomotive. Twilight knew that it was best to give Starlight some time to think of something else to say, which was why she remained quiet even after Starlight's long-winded explanation, but an odd feeling of coldness came over her as time went on that she just could not understand, and that feeling only grew as she continued to examine Starlight's sullen appearance.

"I really didn't think something like that could happen to you, today," the alicorn said. "After I saw how happy you were with Sunburst after all this time, I thought getting along with other ponies would be a bit easier for you, especially if I was there to help. But it seems that you might need a bit more oversight when comes to assisting others, since I wasn't really checking up on you that often as I should have."

"I appreciate the concern, Twilight," Starlight muttered. "But if I can't restrain myself from freaking out over how kids want to finish their kindergarten art projects, I doubt I'll be truly helping anypony with their issues anytime soon... Not after the years I spent running my village."

The princess placed a hoof on the unicorn's shoulder. "It'll take a while, and I know you'll be hesitant at first, but I'll be sure to come up with a plan that'll work best for you down the line. In fact, it'll be the first thing on my to-do list when we get back home." 

Without any warning, Twilight wrapped her hooves around Starlight's torso, the hug taking the unicorn by surprise as her body shifted awkwardly as means of deciding what to do next, but her movements stopped when the alicorn's cheeks rubbed against her in a nurturing manner. 

"Like I said, it's going to be a long process, but I know you'll be somepony one day who will show those struggling that they can offer their strengths to the world, just like you made Sunburst realize he could help fix the Crystal Heart. And now look at him! He's a crystaller! And he's putting more effort into his magical studies! Just think of how many others could use you help, even if you just play a small role. If you can somepony like him achieve something that great, isn't worth reaching out to other who could accomplish something similar?"

The metamorphosis was slow and uncertain at first, as Twilight noticed an uneasy shiftiness in Starlight's eyes, but eventually a small smile grew on the purple unicorn's face, and in turn her blue eyes seemed to shone with a brighter spirit that was not present when she came aboard the train. The welcoming sight was definitely what Twilight needed to see after today, as there was a chance at least one of her worries was done with -- for the time being. 

"Alright, I guess I could give it another shot," Starlight said as she turned to smile at her teacher. "If what you've said is true, then you'll make a plan for me to help somepony without going over any personal boundaries."

"It'll be a well-thought-out plan. Don't worry. Of course, over time you would have less of an eye on you, as I can't always be there to check in on you, but I'll be sure to make sure you stay on the straight and narrow."

Starlight turned her body around to return a hug. "Thank you, Twilight. And I'm sorry for this afternoon."

"It's okay. Like I said, I should have kept a better eye on you, but at least now we know that we need to take things a bit slow. And hopefully by tomorrow we both will be feeling a bit better." Twilight's ears fell down slightly. "Even though we're heading into a possible diplomatic conflict in less than twelve hours."

Starlight let go of Twilight and walked towards the door of the car. "Speaking of hours, it's getting a bit late into the night. I guess I've done enough sulking around. I'm heading to the bed car to get some sleep."

"Don't you want to get something to eat?" Twilight asked.

"I ordered a cauliflower sandwich for myself before I came out here. Speaking of dinner, I really hope you liked what I ordered, even if it was more of an apology-gift."

"Well, not really. The others probably liked it but I didn't get myself anything. I came straight to you after the food was dropped off. I doubt there's anything left for me though, especially if a few of the others were a bit greedy for more."

Starlight giggled as she opened the door with her magic. "I'm sure they're not that selfish. They must have left you at least one plate."

The purple alicorn shrugged off the though, her annoyed frown indicating her skepticism. "Meh. It's possible. But just incase, I'll get myself a quick sandwich from the kitchen, and maybe some chamomille tea. I'll need for whatever we'll face tomorrow."