//------------------------------// // 11. Chapter the 13th, Part 2020 // Story: Thoughtletts // by Georg //------------------------------// Thoughtletts Chapter the 13th, Part 2020 “He knew that all the hazards and perils were now drawing together to a point: the next day would be a day of doom, the day of final effort or disaster, the last gasp.” ― J R R Tolkien Ok, so it’s only the 11th chapter, and it’s on Monday the 15th instead of Friday the 13th. Cut me some slack. This year has made all of us age prematurely and want to set the clock back. Anway, rather than moaning about the past, let’s look at the future. Some of these bits below wound up in Never The Final Word - Volume 2 (This time it’s personal), but I’m including them here because I’m too lazy to pick them out, like raisins in Raisin Bran. Besides, they’re good for you. Ok, another reminder about Never The Final Word (link above). We authors are terrible people who like to write endings for other people’s stories. We also like to write endings to other people’s endings. Then we start writing endings to other people’s endings to other people’s endings… This is going to take some setup. First, Rambling Writer writes How The Tantabus Parses Sleep, a clever fic about our mischievous Tantabus. Then Kris Overstreet makes a particularly punny comment on the castle armory, which has certain deficits in the way of ranged weaponry. Then it’s my turn to carpet-bomb the debris. Luna strolled down the line of empty storage rooms with her sister meekly walking beside her. There was a silence of a sort, since the sound of eight alicorn shoes on concrete ensured that a complete silence was out of the question, but there was an unspoken question that hung heavy over the sisters like a soggy thundercloud. "The pieapults," put forward Luna, "are all gone? What will our nation use to defend against any griffon uprisings?" "The Strategic Pie Limitation Apple Treaty made that a fairly low probability, dearest sister," said Celestia with a quick lick of her lips. "The party celebrating the signature of the treaty was epic. We ate all the pies around the bonfire," she added quickly. Luna took a quick look inside a nearby empty freezer, only to have Celestia quickly speak before being prodded again. "SPLAT II took care of the Ice Cream Ballistic Missile stores we had to defend against the Yak kingdoms. That led to the Decade of Peace. And ice cream headaches." "So," considered Luna after walking along several other empty storerooms, "in the event of hostilities against a dread foe, we have nothing at all to use as a ranged weapon of any type." Celestia perked up at that. "Oh, nothing public. We do have one specific weapon that we are keeping under a cloak of extreme secrecy. During a recent field test, it has proven devastating against even the most powerful foe. I assure you, although Equestria may appear defenseless beyond a spearpoint, production of this weapon has progressed to double our national stockpile, possibly even triple it if a certain letter I mailed just this morning..." Green Grass stared at the letter in mixed horror and fascination. It made sense, in an alicorn way, but explaining it to Twilight could go so many shades of wrong. The small paragraph that Shining Armor had added to Celestia’s letter helped, and the teacher inside of him just had to wonder if it would actually work now that the concept had been raised. An experiment to test the hypothesis was in order, after all. “What is it, dear?” called out Twilight Sparkle from the shower. “I thought I heard a letter arrive.” “Just junk mail, dear,” he called back as he tossed the letter into the fireplace and watched it burn. “Hey, I was wondering. Your brother told me about a new launching technique for your flying, so would you like to go outside of town—” away from anything breakable “—and give it a try this morning?” If nothing else, read Martial Bliss for the comments. And the Wifleman’s Creed: This is my wife! My wife is my best friend! She is my life! I must master her as I master my life! I eat with her! I sleep with her!... River Road wrote a beautiful story Building Coded about Harmony, the spirit of the tree who made the School of Friendship and certain other crystal things, and the Building Inspector who visits. I had to doodle an ending based on my general endings of stories I write, so I excused it with “I'm just glad you didn't base your angle on Twilight Sparkle based on my writing, or the ending would be far weirder.” * * * Twilight returned to her castle to find Twilight browsing the castle library shelves, quietly murmuring to herself while flickering every so often, and giving off a sharp scent of ozone. "She's been like that for a few days," said Ocellus. "It started right after the building inspector left, and she won't say anything about it." Princess Twilight Sparkle (the flesh-and-blood version) took a deep breath, counted to ten, and let it out. "Building inspector?" A few minutes later, after a detailed (but not too detailed) description of what had recently happened while Twilight (the real one) was gone, Ocellus was looking ever-so-slightly more nervous, since Princess Twilight and 'Harmony' Twilight were looking more similar by the minute. The springing bits of mane were particularly interesting, and a good thing to concentrate on rather than the amount of magic that would be released if an alicorn were to perhaps theoretically explode from internal pressure. Gallus should have been the one to explain this. Even Yona could have done a better job. She's going to break, and it will be my fault. "Me?" asked Twilight cautiously. "I know you don't want to say anything to the students about what is troubling you... that is you-me... What do--" "Harmony," said Ocellus. "Right." Twilight took another breath. "Harmony? Can you tell me what's wrong? Why are you acting this way? Is it my fault?" "No," said Harmony in a very small voice. She turned around with her head hanging low. "It's just... I saw a way to fix the problem with Baseline Standard, and while the students were busy, we... um... Well... It worked, or at least had a contributing effect. And everything turned out well at the end, so... But it brought up another problem. Well, not a problem, per se. You see, we..." Harmony leaned close to Twilight's ear and whispered something. "Oh," said Twilight. Then after some time, "I see." And just when Ocellus could not restrain her curiosity, Twilight gave a short nod. "That's... unexpected, but... how many?" "Twenty or thirty seeds," said Harmony. "It's hard to tell at this stage." "Oh, that's wonderful," gushed Twilight, who promptly engulfed Harmony in a cautious hug. "I've been wanting to establish schools of friendship all over Equestria. I just had no idea how you pollinated until now." Raugos is evil. Honest. I think we made him that way. As an example of his evilness, he brought durian to the last Bronycon. (including the wonderful video of Flutterpriest reacting to a piece of dried durian, the best of which includes a frantic dash for the trash can at the other end of the room) Heck, he even writes about durian. Initiation (with Flash Sentry, making it even more evil) So, as a proud member of the Evil League of Evil, he wrote a story about a changeling who decides to moonlight as a set of Royal Guard armor. Chaos ensues. I decided a story this evil deserved an evil post-credit scene. Enjoy the original and the trailer. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/478485/mailed-male-changeling-chainmail-exchange "Friendship, eh?" The Princess of Said Power eyed the nervous changeling and the similarly nervous guard next to him without her hornglow diminishing one iota. "So you--" she pointed with her horn at the cringing changeling "--spend all your day wrapped around her--" said horn changed targets, still glowing "--including her most intimate parts. Do you sleep with her too?" "No," said Guard Bloom at the exact moment Sphincter said, "Yes." "What!" Now the changeling had two sets of irate eyes glaring at him, and he visibly wilted. "It's just as your pillow, dude!" he protested. "The softest, warmest pillow you've ever had. And it keeps you from snoring," he added. "Keeps you from snoring," said Spike as he continued to take notes. "Heh. We should get you a changeling, Twilight. Since you turned into a Princess, you practically shake the whole castle at night." Thankfully, Spike was fireproof. Mostly. Let’s Do This wrote a clever Biscuit-like story about an Earth-cop and his two unicorn sidekicks (They Fight Crime!) I had to go write a follow-up with the inevitable next step once Twilight and Tempest got home. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/477746/special-operations "I'm just glad Lyra didn't catch wind of what we were doing," said Twilight, who was walking while shaking her head. "She's been so human-crazy about finding a way through the mirror in the castle again ever since Starlight told her about it. Thankfully, the security spells around it stayed intact while we were gone, or we'd have another mess to clean up." "One trip into humanworld is enough for me," said Tempest Shadow, who had not missed one step while walking at her side even as she scanned the immediate area for threats. "A little fun, admittedly a challenge, but having everything smell like dog?" She gave Spike a quick and friendly fin-noogie and hip-bump that nearly knocked him over. "I think I prefer your fiery little friend, even if he does smell like smoke all the time." "Hey, just be glad you kept your own forms," said Spike. He straightened his fins and trotted faster to catch up with their rapid pace. "Being a dog around humans is no fun at all. Other than tummy-rubs," he admitted quietly. "Well, you'll never have to worry about that particular portal," said Twilight. "I closed and locked it solid once the nice guard was through. Although Lyra..." She stopped suddenly on the Castle of Friendship's steps and looked back at the scattered collection of Ponyville residents who had shown up for this week's entertainment. "Do you see her?" "Nope," said Spike, scanning the ponies for a particular shade of green. "Don't see Bon Bon either, and she's always around." "S.M.I.L.E. kits have an advanced invisibility generator," said Tempest, who was also busy looking. "And there may have been a few straggler monsters left hiding in the human town somewhere. Do you think the two of them--" "Yes," said Twilight while turning for the castle again. "We'll give them two weeks to do any S.M.I.L.E. work that's leftover with the humans, and one more week for playing tourist, then I'll open the portal again and drag them both back here by their tails." When he got back to his police Suburban, Sam took having a unicorn sitting in his driver’s seat in stride. And the other pony turned out to be an exceptional cook for the few weeks that they stayed, so it really was not all that bad at all. Speedy Quill wrote a busy little story about Twilight and her friends going to the home improvement store to buy things. She needed light bulbs, and of course, has too many things going on to pick them up. But all is well. Celestia knows how important it is to share responsibility for these things. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/476979/a-quick-trip-to-the-home-improvement-store "Don't worry," said Celestia. "I bought a multi-pack of light bulbs, so you can have one of mine." "Oh, thank goodness," said Twilight with a deep huff of frustration. "You can't believe how much this means... Wait a minute. Is this some kind of joke?" She looked at the giant head-sized lightbulb that Celestia floated over to her. "A terawatt bulb? That's insane! You could light all of Equestria with a bulb this--" Her eyes slowly tracked up to the sun above, then back down to Her Royal Highness, Princess of the Sun, who was passing a bag containing some smaller boxes over to her sister. "No." "Oh, good," said Luna with her nose in the bag. "You got the twinkly kind. And enough to make three or four new constellations, too. Thank you, dearest sister." Monochromatic has updated The Enchanted Library with new and improved features, listed here. (and she made a comment about Ghostbusters, that made me wonder…. ) https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/911697/the-enchanted-library-remastered-and-re-uploaded A Ghostbusters/TEL crossover. The mind boggles. "Hey, Mom!" Rarity really did not want to dump this on her parents, but she really did not know where to go with it. "Remember that story about the ghost Princess in the Library?" "Of course, Sweetie. I mean Rarity," said Cookie as she took a tray out of the oven. "You've practically worn your father's ears off with that story over the last few weeks, and I know it's good to have an active imagination, but—" Cookie cut off as the heavy book-shaped chunk of equipment hit the kitchen table, still steaming and giving off a faint purple glow. "I have proof!" declared Rarity. "Um... Just as soon as I figure out how to get her out of the trap. Uh, and how to calm her down. Do you think she's going to be terribly angry?" https://www.fimfiction.net/group/50/the-writers-group/thread/440032/question-on-how-to-introduce-a-character If the color purple is important to the story, yes it should be mentioned. If not, don't. If you have the story in the POV of a character, it's possible to reach the end without ever describing the character at all. The important part is to fling yourself into the story so vigorously people are sucked in after you. You know, purple prose :) The Color Purple… Twilight. Twilight was purple. She was quite sure of that. She had been purple when she was born, purple when she came to Ponyville, purple when she became a princess, and most likely would be purple until she died. Well, if princesses ever died. The important thing was she knew she was purple. It was part of her. The outside part, to be specific, although a lot of her inside felt purple. That is, until she had met Rarity. Unicorns measured things. Twilight had measured herself, determined her color was purple, and went on from there. Rarity only started in that general vicinity, and proceeded along the measurement path in a way that Twilight was tempted to call slightly obsessive-compulsive, except for the obvious response she would receive most probably while reshelving for the seventh time in the day. The color 'purple' meant roughly the same thing to Rarity as 'something in that beaker' meant to Twilight Sparkle. And worse, the specific color she was changed depending on the time of day or the month, or even indoors against outdoors. Winter coats were slightly different than summer coats, since each hair was lighter at the end and darker at the base, so what was 'lily lavender' one day could shift into 'lavender mist' or even 'dreamy cloud' with a good spring brushing that got itchy winter hairs out of the way. The writers group had a thread on pony diet. https://www.fimfiction.net/group/50/the-writers-group/thread/439222/do-ponies-eat-meat I can't help but think they eat humans. Look, it explains so much... Princess Twilight Sparkle covered her mouth and blushed. "Excuse me." "Perfectly understandable, darling." Rarity gently touched her lips with a napkin and pushed the nearly picked-clean thighbone away. "This one was absolutely delicious. Plenty of marbling and still quite meaty. Didn't he say he was a vegetarian, Pinkie?" "Not sure. Too full." The pink party pony poked listlessly at the remains of her fifth peopleburger. "He said something with a V in it before Rainbow Dash hit him. Ventriloquist? Violinist?" "Victrix," said Applejack, who was starting to box up leftovers to take home. "And it weren't no he, it was a she. Victrix is some sorta Latiny word for a female warrior. All that brass armor probably confused y'all. Speakin' of which, I suppose you want it dumped in the recycling with the rest of the gear, right?" "Except the helmet and skull," said Fluttershy, who had a red patina of splatters across her chest due to her habit of dining before the roasting was complete. "We're making birdhouses." "I love self-inserts," managed Rainbow Dash around a hefty bone. "They're the best-tasting of them all." CrackedInkWell did a clever treatment of Twilight Sparkle Dies in an amusing fashion that just itched out for an alternative ending. Well, I scratched. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/470258/the-funeral-of-twilight-sparkle Alt. Ending. Princess Celestia was having tea when she found out that Princess Twilight Sparkle had returned. Her identity and aliveness was fairly easy to determine, since the flaming alicorn descended from the sky in a blaze of glory and landed on her balcony, after all. Eyes like pits of molten gold and engulfed in arcane violet fire, she advanced one step at a time in the direction of her former mentor, breathing in short, fierce bursts of smoke. "So good of you to return, Twilight." Celestia took another sip of tea and floated out an empty teacup that was embossed in gold with 'Best Student' along the side. "Would you like to take a cup and sit for a while?" "I didn't want cremated!" she shouted, although Twilight cringed back at the discouraging look she received from Celestia. "I mean I told my friends I didn't want cremated," she added in a much calmer and controlled voice, more suited for the area. "My sister and I were overcome with grief," said Celestia. "Rather than see your coffin go into the grave and think of you decaying there, eaten by worms and mold in the cold ground, we flung you into my sun so everpony would be able to see your final resting place." She held out a plate. "Biscuit, Twilight?" "Why would you throw me into the sun!" snapped Twilight, although she removed a biscuit from the plate. She always got a little peckish when low on sugar, after all. "My sister and I flipped a bit. I won," added Celestia with a far-off look. "Starlight told me about your situation later, but it was too late. Too late for several things, in fact, but I believe things will work out for the best. That is once you get a few more years of experience and we can try passing you the responsibility for all of Equestria and not worry about you taking another drastic action such as this without considering the consequences." "What consequences?" asked Twilight, the half-eaten cookie dribbling crumbs. "And what do you mean too late for several things?" "For that, you are going to have to ask Starlight Glimmer. Now if you'll excuse me," said Celestia, rising from her seat with a last sip of tea, "I must attend court and calm the citizens again. Don't let me detain you from going to Ponyville and getting your answers." Twilight's arrival at her school was accomplished with less drama, although she tripped over a new hoof-scraper at the entrance marked 'I Told You I Was Ill' and caused several students to scream in terror and flee through the building. By the time she reached the Headmare office, she had gotten most of her initial rage stomped out, and had stopped leaving sizzling craters in the crystal floor, so she counted to a hundred by prime numbers, took a deep breath, and opened Starlight's door. "Just a minute," said Starlight from behind a huge stack of papers on her desk. "I dropped my quill." "You dropped the ball on my funeral too," growled Twilight. "I want to know what happened, why I wound up in the sun, and what in Equestria have you done to your desk? You normally don't even have a notepad there." "There were some.... changes since your funeral," admitted Starlight from behind the papers. "I knew you were coming back, so I made you a report--" a short stack of papers emerged from the mess and floated over to Twilight "--and developed the movie film, although I didn't get a chance to have it narrated or a soundtrack because I knew... Well. There are some changes you just have to see for yourself." Starlight Glimmer came slowly out from behind her desk, and spread her wings. Titanium Dragon is doing a Ponyfest panel with Tumbleweed on the intersection of comedy and romance called “Foiled Again.” What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t add something? https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/903251/ponyfest-30-panel-at-330-pm-pacific-630-pm-eastern-viewable-online Starlight Glimmer was getting used to Ponyville, and the strange inhabitants. Even the way they were all different was something that took some time to get used to, but had certain advantages too. It was all very confusing, but learning was a confusing process as new information displaced old. And then there was Pinkie Pie. The idea that Pinkie Pie could ever have a 'normal' setting without removing her cutie mark was an impossibility. Even 'abnormal' would have been a stretch. 'Outright Weird' was her normal, and fun, and confusing. Dozens of town events had only been explained to her as "That's just Pinkie Pie." It was starting to make sense now, and that bothered her. "Pinkie?" asked Starlight just as calmly as she could. Getting angry at Pinkie only made things worse because she would try to make things better, and if "I can fix it" was a terrifying phrase from Twilight Sparkle, it was downright world-ending when Pinkie said it. "Yes," said Pinkie through the cardboard box in her teeth. "I'm pretty sure I'm Pinkie. And you're Starlight, and this is your office, and that is your philodendron, and--" "Why are you covering me in aluminum foil?" asked Starlight before things could go any weirder. "Because Twilight said she made a friend out of you by foiling your evil plot, and we haven't been really, really, really good friends so I thought foiling your--" "Pinkie," said Starlight quickly. "How about we go fly kites instead?" "Okay!" TCC56 has a cute story about Twilight Sparkle wondering about alicorns and sex. I had to add something for Monochromatic. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/460233/praying-for-insight "Well..." Princess Celestia took a measured sip of tea. "Since you are not pregnant, and most likely will not become so as you travel down this path--excepting certain spells--I would presume the actual consumption of your mate would be unwise. And criminal, I might add. Something we added to the unified Equestrian code a century or two ago. " "Oh," said Twilight, obviously relieved and confused at the same time. "Well, that's a relief, at least." "I would caution you against going to bed hungry," added Celestia. "Nothing is worse than going to bed next to your prospective paramour and waking up only to find a few scraps of hair and some feathers." "Oh," said Twilight again. "A slice or two of cake at bedtime should do the trick," said Celestia. "It has worked wonders for me, and I haven't lost a Royal Guard in years now." "That's... nice," said Twilight. She produced a notepad and jotted down a few of the salient points of the conversation, just to ensure she would not miss anything when she passed it along. "Rarity is going to be so glad to hear I'm not going to eat her." "Oh, I didn't mean that exactly," said Celestia. "It shows appreciation for your mate and respect for our culture to at least nibble a little around the interesting bits." "That's how we wound up with the question," muttered Twilight, pressing so hard against the notebook that the pencil point threatened to punch through the paper. LilyCousland has a delightful story in process about Twilight Sparkle giving life to her doll during the school entrance exam. I had to comment, because I have a certain weakness in my stitches for such wonderful whimsy. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/466709/fuzzy-sparkle If she is flesh and blood (like Spike), that's going to cause some fun issues in adjusting to her new body. If she is still stuffing and fluff... that's going to cause some issues too, particularly around feeding time. It was not every day that Celestia saw such a dramatic change from one of her students, or even once every century or two. Spike was certainly going to be unique among dragons, who were a unique race anyway, with no dragon looking quite exactly like another. Still, he was behaving exactly like a dragon, tested out to be a dragon, and was teething on a sizable gemstone last Celestia saw, so it was far easier to mentally classify him as an ordinary dragon with extraordinary history. An orphan, in a way, and that would make it easier to raise him alongside her new student since a dragon was tough and magic-resistant. The other new addition to her school was going to take some getting used to, particularly when she saw Fuzzy sitting in her throne. The soft support backing had been torn off by small fabric teeth, and Fuzzy was quite busy chewing her way through the stuffing concealed within, or at least until Celestia's shadow fell over her. "Um..." said the small stuffed creature, looking up with plaintive eyes. "Did you want some too? It's very good." FOME is doing a blog post about the creativity process, and uses as an example, Applejack talking casually with Blueblood by using his given name, Larry. Naturally, I think Rarity would be concerned… https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/900371/rewrite-the-paths "Can you believe it?" hissed Rarity once she got Twilight out of immediate sight of the rest of the party, which involved a bush and some hissing at the young couple who likewise had been looking for a little privacy. "She called Prince Blueblood, Larry! Right there!" "I know," said Twilight with a heaving sigh. "It's as undignified as calling Princess Celestia, Marlene, or Princess Luna... Well, let's just go back out there and support our friend. We can discuss tact lessons later, when we have more time. Besides, Larry didn't seem to mind. Come on." With that, Princess Twilight Sparkle trotted back out into the party, leaving Rarity to stare rather absently at nothing at all, with a tiny twitch beginning to show at the corner of her eyelid. "Princess Celestia's real name is Marlene? And Princess Luna... Um... Twilight? Oh, bother." This came out of the Ship It contest on the Writeoff.me site https://writeoff.me/fic/5026-Love-Bake-Cupcake Love. Bake. Cupcake. “Oh, beloved,” sighed Rainbow Dash. “You are the only one for me, my true love. I shall never leave you, ever.” She leaned back with a slosh of the birdbath and carressed the gentle curve of ceramic, interleaved with hearts and tiny cloud carvings. The birdbath did not reply, although all the birds around it who were waiting their turn, rolled their eyes. Twilight Sparkle clutched a book to her chest with an excited squeal, then blanched. “Oh, no!” she called out, looking at the rest of her library. “I’m sorry! I love all of you equally. Particularly you,” she added, taking another book off the shelf and embracing it. “And you. Oh, and you beautiful first edition you…” Sweet Apple Acres was very quiet today, as Applejack quietly wrapped the trunk of yet another apple tree in gauze. “You poor thing,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m so sorry. Soon as we get you’all patched up, I’m gonna go to town and get all our children back, so you don’t feel sad no more either.” There were no loud noises coming from Carousel Boutique either, other than a constant series of sighs and moans from the proprietor, who was gazing into a lipstick-smeared mirror. “Oh, you beautiful mare,” murmured Rarity, giving the mirror a flutter of long lashes. “Our time together has been far too long coming.” We’re going to skip Fluttershy’s house, due to rating. Really. The legendary capacity of Pinkie Pie for sweets had obviously been exceeded some time ago, due to the pink party pony being sprawled out on her back in the middle of Sugarcube Corner’s kitchen, with all four legs up in the air much like a pink beached whale. She wobbled as much as she could, looking at one last cupcake on a nearby shelf. “If only… I could reach… my sweet, sweet desire.” It was very, very quiet in the Sugarcube Corner bakery where Ponyville’s only zebra took a long look at Pinkie Pie, who still could not get up onto her hooves to grab the last cupcake. Zecora shook her head, then turned her attention to a small earth pony by her side, who looked even smaller under her teacher’s glare. There was a long silence, broken only when Apple Bloom finally said, “I’m sorry, Zecora.” “Sorry does not cut the cake,” admonished Zecora. “An antidote you now must make, to solve the problem of your making, when you decided to help with baking.” “But Twilight said she wanted something extra-special for the meeting with her friends, so they could keep their relationship strong,” said Apple Bloom, still looking at the floor. “Then I found the recipe in your book, and Pinkie helped me mix it into the batter, and Mister and Missus Cake helped bake all the cupcakes…” There was a repeating thumping noise from upstairs, and all three ponies looked up at the ceiling. “You know,” said Apple Bloom very slowly, “that Mister and Missus Cake like to sample the cupcakes after they’re frosted, right?” Zecora let out a short breath and started her young student moving toward the door. “We must hurry to set things right, and no more practicing outside my sight!” This one requires a photo from Estee https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/900037/and-as-she-read-it-for-the-third-time-twilight-sparkle-went-a-little-bit-mad https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EXQFT5wXYAQrCO-?format=jpg&name=small Now, given that opportunity, how could I resist? "I left my wagon right there!" fumed Trixie. "It wasn't bothering anypony, I had the brakes on, and I only went into the cafe for a few minutes! It was that menace, Twilight! I know it!" "Now calm down there, sugarcube." Applejack patted the Great And Tantruming Trixie on a shoulder. "You can't say that for certain. Heck, maybe somepony just moved it." "It wasn't moved! Twilight's responsible!" Trixie jabbed a hoof at the nearby crystal castle. "Go yell at her for me." "Me?" Applejack held a hoof across her chest. "Now don't get me wrong, but Ah ain't gonna go yell at my friend just on account of you can't find your gosh durned wagon after spending three hours in the cafe, eatin' on mah bits. Just a'cause Ah was pickin' up the check, ain't no reason to stuff yourself like a chipmunk afore winter, and it ain't no reason to accuse mah friend of stealin' your durned wagon!" "She didn't steal it!" huffed Trixie, pointing down in the grass where an amphibian quietly gazed back at the two of them. "It was toad." Inspired by DrakeyC blog post about alternate Sunset Shimmers, and since I plan on eventually writing a Theocratic alt-universe fic for MLP, I thought it was good practice. https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/899367/into-the-shimmerverse "Okay people, let's do this one last time. My name is Sunset Shimmer..." "Ten years ago I was chosen to be the Most Radiant's acolyte, and donned the ceremonial Tunic of Obedience with joy in my heart. Yea, for that day I didst pass from the hordes of the common unto the highest of the high, posted by Her will into the Sacred Vestibule and permitted to venture beyond the Veil of Forbidden. Mysteries unseen by mortal eyes were to be revealed unto me, and my destiny among the Radiant was assured. Or so I thought. The longer I studied the scriptures of Her Blessed Wisdom, the more I could see the cracks in the throne, the darkness that lurked beneath the Light. For although I had been granted access to the Most Radiant beyond any in mortal memory, there were still secrets she kept close to Her breast, and I chafed at her lack of trust. Even her own flesh and blood, the Second Radiant Cadance, Blessed of the Heart, confided to me that she too was kept from the full flow of knowledge from the Most Radiant. I became convinced that the flaw lay not in myself, but in Her. She was blind to the damage her lack of trust caused, but as I threw myself into my studies of the Blessed Wisdom, I found a solution. The ancient Hierophant Swirler of Stars had made an artefact of great power that could pierce the barriers of the Void and carry one to different worlds. With it, I could travel to a place where another Most Radiant resided. I could learn from her, even the secrets that our Most Radiant refused to tell, and when I returned with the knowledge, even She would recognize my talent and elevate me to the Throne of Radiance. I was right, and oh so wrong..." The Sleepless Beholder has a clever story about Chrysalis as a being even more evil being than changeling queen: Marriage lawyer. Of course I had to put my two bits in since I’ve written one of these from a different angle and they’re just so much darned fun! https://www.fimfiction.net/story/466135/friendship-is-bureaucracy-marriage-laws "What is it now?" muttered Princess Twilight Sparkle as she trudged down the crystal staircase of her castle, her ears folded down to muffle the sound of the insistent doorbell. "I swear, if it's another group of Moonies come to disturb my weekend, I'm going to give them a one-way ticket to--" She put on her best 'Princess' face, ran a hoof through her hopelessly tangled mane, and yanked open the front door. "What can I-- You!" Three small changeling drones looked up at her, behind their suitcases as if using them for cover. Where most changelings were nearly identical, the changeling in front had an unusually intact horn, while one of the other changelings had very small wings, and the third changeling had a huge bow tied to the back of her head. "Auntie Twilight," started the first changeling, "we don't mean to be an inconvenience, but we are pen pals with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and we were wondering if we could spend the summer here with you while they help us earn our cutie marks." Twilight's scream could be heard for miles. brokenimage321 has an idea about a story where Celestia gives Twilight ‘The Talk’ about sex and babies as an alicorn, and in particular why it’s a bad idea. https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/887594/random-probably-bad-fic-idea-celestia-gives-twilight-the-talk I wrote the ending for him. You’re welcome. "So..." Sergeant Stalwart Fury kept a close and careful pace next to the distraught Princess of Friendship while they walked back to her guest quarters, where she would stay for the evening before heading back to Ponyville on the morning train. "How did it go?" "She said," huffed Twilight, "that I shouldn't date any of the guards." "Oh." Stalwart walked silently for a time while they turned two corners and down a long corridor. "That's awkward," he finally admitted. "I told you we should have invited her to the wedding." "I wanted to keep it quiet," said Twilight, pausing to run a hoof down her barrel. "The newspapers are going to throw such a fit, and Cadence will pop a cork, and Luna--" "Always wanted another little niece of her own to spoil," finished Stalwart. "You know, you're probably going to want to tell them before you go into labor." "We've almost got a year," pointed out Twilight. "I still have lots of research to do on the subject, and... I'll get to it. Eventually." "And your brother?" prompted Stalwart. "I'll send him a letter." Stifling a chuckle, Sergeant Fury pushed open the bedroom suite door for Princess Twilight Sparkle and waited for her to slip inside before adding, "Well, if Princess Celestia doesn't think you should fool around with any of the guards, that puts a stop to what we had planned for tonight, doesn't it?" "Absolutely not, handsome hubby of mine." A purple aura of magic formed around the guard's left ear, and he let himself be led into the bedroom without a struggle. "We're only up to Chapter Seven in the Camel Sutra, and I want to get to the end before I'm too pregnant to use the stepladder." "Your wish is my command, Your Highness."