//------------------------------// // This is MY book and I'm going to read it! // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// A/N: Please make sure that setting in the upper right is set to "Dark" and not "Light". Thank you. I'm going to do a book. *Finds an engaging story.* WOAH! Well, I'm going to do an internet. *clicks* Augh! Porn again? No thanks. Grab a seat. If you're already in a seat... good for you. Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, Screw Attack, and Square Enix. --- The Moment No Pony was Waiting For Season 2 (2) School's in session and you know what that means. It's time for more deadweight textbooks. Hooray... (I'm not fooling anyone with this fake enthusiasm). Pictures of law school students, spell casters, and pens to paper fill the screen. Even as the internet slowly absorbs the human population, books remain a valuable source of information. You could even say that they're the main weapons of today's challengers. Twilight Sparkle of the G4 unicorn ponies... ... will face Zexion the Shadow-Walking Schemer. I'm W and he's B and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. ---Death Battle--- Twilight Sparkle -Element of Magic -Student under Princess Celestia of Equestria -Intelligent, organized, and well-read -Diverse understanding of magic -Plethora of spells: shields, teleportation, levitation, illumination, conjuration, transformation, magic missiles, etc. -Has moments of OCD Born and raised in the city of Canterlot, Twilight Sparkle has a natural gift in magic. She has been chosen by the Element of Harmony: Magic and even her cutie mark depicts magic as her specialty. Her spell casting covers a large variety of different spells. These include but aren't limited to teleportation, levitation, illumination, object conjuration, object transformation, magical shield defense, and magical stun bolts for offense. It's also worth noting how she's capable of copying spells from other magic users such as when she used Rarity's gem-finding spell. This indicates that she can pick up new spells with ease. She's also a bit of a geek. "The square root of 546 is 23.36664289109." "She is correct." Despite her birthplace being in the upper class, Twilight eventually settled in Ponyville and made five close friends who were joined by destiny as the other five bearers of the Elements of Harmony. You'd think having a big brother and a babysitter would give her an incentive to be more social, but I guess the books called to her louder. While she was personally chosen as Princess Celestia's student, Twilight still worries about potential repercussions for any and every small imperfection. Seriously, she made the whole town fall for a rag doll just so she could turn in one homework assignment? ...okay. And while some of her spells were shaky at first, she's managed to perfect her teleportation to the point of transmitting as many as four living organisms in one trip. She's an ubernicorn! What? "Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle." ---Death Battle--- Zexion -No. VI of Org. XIII -Intelligent, manipulative, and usually quiet -Weapon: Lexicon (looks like a book) -Master of illusions and some dark magic -Can sense entities of darkness better than other Org. members -Physically lacking in strength Aside from Roxas, Zexion is quite possibly the youngest member of Organization XIII. Turning into a Nobody didn't do a whole lot for his social life. He's still a shut-in that hits the books. In fact, his weapon of choice is a type of book called a Lexicon: a dictionary primarily composed of Greek, Hebrew, Syriac, or Arabic language. You know you're having a bad day when someone smacks you upside the head with a dictionary. Hell, Zexion even sometimes uses his as a short-ranged boomerang. Since his weapon and melee combat experience are considerably weaker than his fellow Nobodies, Zexion relies on cleverness, sneakiness, and illusion magic. He can alter his appearance to resemble another person's friend provided that he has the available data on them. He can even manipulate his enemy's mind to the point that he can copy their memories and use their attacks against them. The only good way to dispel his illusions is by giving him a good smack. (Kissing joke!) His manipulation of his opponents' senses doesn't stop there. He can literally lock an opponent inside a large duplicate of his Lexicon, trapping them in an alternate plane of existence. While there, the enemy has access to pages filled with... health and magic restoring orbs? Uh... Oh, right! They're also under constant attack by floating books and fire. Hah, just like my days in elementary school. You had a strange childhood. Anyway, the world isn't escape-proof. If Zexion suffers too much damage while maintaining the dimension, he and his victim are forced back into the real world and he's temporarily stunned. This leaves him wide open to Keyblade combos. Still, you have to give the kid credit for being persistent. Once he's caught his breath, he typically sends the Keyblade wielder into that book universe again but with a slight twist. Spotlights, meteors, and force fields, oh my! And he can summon a similar meteor-based attack when his health gets too low. "You brought this upon yourself!" The only downside is that he can't aim this one. Seriously, the safest thing for an enemy to do with that one is to just stand still. (And let B have his way with you, baby.) B! W-wha? I wasn't doing anything arousing! I don't know what you're talking about! "The Organization used to be the rope that binds us... and now it's full of kinks." ---Death Battle--- All right, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all. But first a little shout-out to our friends at Hard News. Bringing you the latest updates in video game related news since 2008. And now it's time for a Death Battle! ---Death Battle--- There appears to be a rather dark thunderstorm yet the only damage it is doing to the island on screen is by strong winds. A white spark of light shines on one edge of the island. It quickly fades away to reveal Twilight Sparkle. On the opposite side of the island, a darkness corridor opens up and reveals a young man with blue hair. The book in his hand floats and flips rapidly through its pages before resting back in Zexion's grasp. FIGHT! Scoffing once, Zexion floats his lexicon in front of himself and open toward his opponent. A chartreuse pattern of light shines from the open page. Twilight suddenly feels her entire body being compressed as a similar book appears behind her. The camera's view of her is obscured by smoke. As she screams in fright, the smoke clears to a closed book. It opens to a page that holds all text on one side. On the opposite page is a picture of a standing Twilight Sparkle. Zexion laughs curtly as the screen fades to black. As the visual returns, Twilight is standing in a black abyss. A lexicon flies from a random direction and whacks her. Several other books of the same design float around this realm. As she looks around at all of them, Twilight is hit by a passing pillar of fire that appears seemingly out of nowhere. Her coat shows signs of burns in various places. Some of the floating books start to surround her and attempt to gang up on her. Twilight responds by creating her magenta, magic barrier. All of the books bounce off the shield. Twilight notices that one of the books actually yelped upon being touched. She focuses her attention on that one floating book and starts firing bolts of magic at it. The book continues to yell out as if in pain. After a few more shots, the book opens with its pages down as Zexion's voice is heard groaning. The spacious world clears away to reveal the island again. Zexion is crouching in a daze. Twilight seizes the opportunity and fires off more magical bolts. Zexion cries out at each impact. Eventually, though, he's sufficiently recuperated and starts running around. He dodge rolls around a few of the magic projectiles until he's closer to his opponent. He goes on the offensive by swinging his book at her. Paper cuts don't do Twilight's first-degree burns any favors and she's wincing in pain. Zexion recovers his momentum and opens his lexicon. He lights up his chartreuse pattern again. A flash of white light causes Twilight to vanish before Zexion can complete his work. Another flash and Twilight reappears behind Zexion. She starts to gallop forward, but unfortunately for her, Zexion turns around and completes his initial attack. Once more, she's sent screaming into a book with her as the only illustration. The screen blacks out again. This time, the empty realm is slightly different. Twilight is standing in the center of three spotlights. Two of them are red. The third is blue and a book is suspended midair within the light. Curious, Twilight watches as the book and blue spotlight seem to shuffle around with the red spotlights. Though she's not entirely sure what's going on, she has a hunch that this book is the illusion that Zexion hides behind. As the spotlight shuffling slows down, she disappears in her teleport flash. As the blue light stops, she reappears right below the book. A tall force field of stagnated white light surrounds her and the book as large meteors rain down all around it. Twilight starts firing bolts of magic at the book and it grunts in Zexion's voice with each hit. Eventually, the meteor shower passes and Twilight finds herself in the first version of Zexion's empty realm. Suddenly, a stationary floating book obscures Twilight's vision and encourages her to press "X", whatever that is. With a few jerks of her mind, she "flips" through the book's pages. Green orbs, clear orbs, and yellow orbs fly out of the book before being absorbed by her body. These seem to remove her burning pains and help clear her head. She also feels richer for some reason that she can't put her hoof on. But now's not the time to worry about financial issues. The flock of books is back and floats around menacingly. Twilight decides to try something different and focuses her magic hold on all of the books at once. She levitates them in close and starts smacking them against each other. A few shred into non-existent pages, but one of the books lets out a yelp in Zexion's voice. She fires one more bolt of magic at that book and it opens page-side down. Zexion groans as the island is brought back into visual. Sticking to what she knows, Twilight fires another magic missile at the dizzy Nobody. As he stands back up, his eyes gleam with vengeance. He holds his lexicon open in one palm as he holds out his other hand. "You brought this upon yourself!" he declares. Dark purple meteors rain down from above. Reacting on impulse, Twilight activates her magical barrier again. With the meteor threat averted, she starts galloping toward her opponent. Desperate to use his illusion again, Zexion sets up his lexicon's open-faced symbol and points it at the incoming unicorn. Twilight has other plans, however, and surrounds the book in her magic glow. Zexion is caught off guard when his weapon turns around and is open toward himself. Smoke covers the view as he is sucked up into his own attack. The book comically opens to show an illustration of Zexion. Charging up everything she's got, Twilight fires one last blast of magic at the open book. The explosion scatters all the pages and they are caught up by the island's windstorm. An empty book cover falls to the ground as Twilight lets out a nervous chuckle. "Whoops, he he. Sorry." "K.O.!" ---Death Battle--- I knew it! Books are bad for you! Zexion is a clever illusionist. There's no doubt about that. However, his stronger attacks are tedious and predictable. While Twilight's not exactly a warrior herself, she is willing to take different actions when the situation calls for them. Plus, it wasn't exactly a good call on Zexion's part to give Twilight a means to restore her health and magic points. Yes, revitalizing Twilight in the middle of the battle proved to give her enough resources to turn the tides of battle in her favor. Zexion might have had stood a chance if he had prior data on Twilight to access his memory-based powers. However, if we had allowed him to obtain this data, then we would have also given Twilight time to study him. They really hit the books in this battle. The winner is Twilight Sparkle. ---Death Battle--- Next time on Death Battle... Seriously? You people wanted this guy to come back? Oh, come now, my little director. It'll be fun. Your definition of "fun" is exactly what I'm worried about. --- A/N: Ergh, mmph! *Struggles free of combatant's embrace* The things I do for entertainment... This work is non-profit.