“Careful.. he could be anywhere.” I muttered.
I stepped on a branch, and my eyes widened.
Oh, a cliché. Lovely.
“Look out!”
“Shit!” I yelled as I dove out of the way. Quickly righting myself, I pulled out the sword and sliced two of its tentacles off, closing my eyes as the blood splattered all over me. Blech.
The sword clashed hard into the stone floor, and shattered instantly.
At the same time, Kraken squealed and burrowed back into the dirt.
I looked at the handle without a blade, and tossed it to the ground. “So much for ‘reinforced steel’.” I sighed.
Oh, you probably want to know where the sword came from, right?
Well..
“Fuck this guy’s persistent!” I yelled as I turned a corner, and instantly tripped over a pod. “Bitch!”
The airlock shut off, and flares popped out. I didn’t have time to check what was inside of the damn thing, so I just grabbed the pod, stood up, and continued running.
As I ran, I looked down and inside the carrier.
Is.. is that a sword? What the hell?
I pulled out the message attached as I jumped over a headcrab.
“Dear Freeman..
I hope you put this sword to good use. This is the sword I used during the war, over 1000 years ago. Please, please try not to cause any damage to it!
~Princess Luna”
That was really hard to read.
Oh, fuck.
I broke her sword! Shit! She’ll probably kill me or something!
No, no.. you’re being irrational.
Yeah.. irrational.
Let’s just hope she doesn’t get too angry with me and send me to the moon or something, yeah?
Th-That would be ridiculous! No way she would be that angry with little ol’ me-
“Spike look out!” I yelled, cutting off my own train of thought.
“Huh?” He asked, and turned around. Upon hearing me warn of the impending doom, he boosted backwards right as the wall broke open and the tentacles came out.
I grabbed the broken hilt and boosted across the weird spider-web/stone material. When I got near, I popped off the plastic covering on the bottom and slammed the broken sword onto Kraken’s head.
But you see.. I had planned ahead.
I had whittled down the end of the hilt into a makeshift pike while we were waiting for his ass to show up. It was as sharp as a knife.
It stabbed right through the side of his stupid head and stuck in place. I held on for dear life as it squealed, turned around, and burrowed into the dirt.
...and dragged me with it.
“Gordon! What the buck are you doing??” I heard Spike yell, his voice quickly being muffled by the dirt around me. Don’t worry, Spike. I’ve got it all under control.
I spit out a mouthful of dirt as I tried to respond with that. Okay, not doing that again.
Wait, where is he taking-
Pain rippled throughout my back as the kraken slammed its head into the dirt, beginning another tunnel. With me as the leading man. Great.
I never let go of that damn hilt, though. This is an advantage to have.
..is it actually?
Why did I even do this?
What can I gain from this?
As I began pondering my life choices, I felt my brain go into scientist mode. Brain blast.
I have an idea.
I just need to wait for-
I felt light shine on me as the air got colder. He had burrowed back into the room.
“There you are!” Spike yelled.
This is it.
Taking a great chance, I let go of the hilt and stood in front of his face. I took a few steps back, and ran directly at him.
He opened his mouth wide to squeal, and I jumped right in.
...
It was rather dark and moist in here. About what I expected.
And dodging the sharp teeth is not- an easy task! Fuck.
Okay, anyway, I’m inside his mouth. Like you see in all those movies.
Now, all I have to do is cut him open from the inside! I pull out the chainsaw, and I cut him up!
..I do not have a chainsaw. Nor do I have a blade.
I put my face in my hand.
Really, Gordon?
You thought that jumping inside the beast’s mouth to cut it from the inside was a good idea, but you didn’t bring a knife?!
“Real genius plan there, buddy. How long did it take you to come up with that one?” I asked myself out loud, groaning.
“About 30 seconds, sir.” I responded to myself in a mocking voice.
“That explains it.” I replied in my normal voice.
I’ve gone bat-shit insane, and it hasn’t even been a minute yet.
I lied down in this moist prison, but sat back up immediately when I saw that I had laid my head in between his teeth. Okay, Gordon. You’re an idiot and most likely suicidal, but let’s not make any rash decisions here. You don’t want to die. Especially by a monster’s molars.
But how do I get out of here? By shooting at-
My eyes widened, and I pulled open my ammo pouch. I grasped a magazine and pulled it out, ripping an arrow from within the plastic confines.
Sharp, but weak. Flimsy.
It’ll have to do.
I flicked on the suit’s flashlight, and jumped down the esophagus. I rolled and stood back up when I realized that it was more of a pathway, though.
I actually have a plan now.. but it’s gonna be a little hard.
By the way -I can hardly breathe in here. That’s something I should mention. The suit has an oxygen tank it can pump out of the neck holes to give me air, (for situations like this, believe it or not) but it is limited. Right now, it’s at 75 percent. I don’t know how long that lasts, but I have a feeling that it won’t feel that long/BE that long before I fucking croak. I’ve gotta move quick in here.
This bastard tentacle guy is just big enough as to where I can squeeze through his organs, but not big enough for it to not feel claustrophobic. I don’t want to be in here for longer than I have to be. This whole thing makes me nervous..
As I was attempting to distract myself from the current reality, my eyes widened as I took notice of the things around me. Exactly what I didn’t want to do.
..what the fuck was that?
What the fuck is THAT?
What the fuck is any of it?!
Alien organs. Damn. I didn’t take that into account. This isn’t like the human body. Does it even have a heart?
God damn, I hope it’s noticeable if it does. If not, I’m MEGA screwed. It might have one, though. It’s got a rib cage; that of which I can easily break.
As soon as I did, the thing squealed and I fell on my ass. My flashlight shut off quickly after.
I flicked it back on. Nothing.
The battery had died.
This is just great. Everything is always coming up Freeman, you know. I have the greatest luck of our generation.
That’s fucking SARCASM if you couldn’t TELL!
I growled, and felt around. This is stupid as fuck. Why am I in here? Why am I always second-guessing myself? Why can I never come up with a good plan? Why am I covered in blood, why is Eddy Murphy so hilarious, and GOD, FUCK THESE RIBS!
I ripped off another rib in anger.
I seethed for a few seconds, but stopped, and did a deep inhale. The therapist told you that helped. Use what little he told you. Let’s calm down here, Freeman. It’s not the end of the world.
You don’t need to get so angry all the time.
Actually... it is the end of the world. Forget that other thing. But it doesn’t have to be!
You gave yourself an opening. Use it.
I tossed away the rib and jumped onto the next one in line. I put my leg above my head and onto it, and used that as leverage to push myself up. I ducked down to avoid the lungs, and crawled along the ribs as if they were monkey bars.
I’m honestly surprised I can even crawl here. You’d think that it would be a tight fit, but no. It works.
But as soon as I heard a “BMP-BMP”..
I knew I was there.
I looked upwards, and gagged at what I saw. Jesus, this thing is disgusting.
Just kidding. I can’t see anything!
I flicked on my recharged flashlight for a second to get an actual look at it, and I really did gag this time. It was NASTY!
It was purple, and vein-y. It beat in an irregular way, with it looking like a pouch that something was trying to escape from. Like a cat in a bag, if that makes sense. Probably doesn’t.
And geez, let me tell you about the SMELL! Fuck, I’ve been trying to ignore it this whole time but it’s really pushing my limits here. It smells like a mix between copper, ass, and week-old bread.
I want out of here.
But I’m a man on a mission.
I flipped around the arrow in my hand, and gripped it tight. It’s now or never. Do or die, Freeman.
...Why do I call myself that? Is it because everyone else does?
Why do THEY call me Freeman? Is it more effective than just Gordon? Is it because of Morgan Freeman being a household name? That shouldn’t matter. Is it because there are multiple Gordons at Black Mesa? Couldn’t be that. Last I checked, nobody else named Gordon worked at Black Mesa. And hell, I’m pretty sure I’m the only Gordon in pony land!
So why..
Wait, I’m getting off track. Kill the beast, think about your name later!
I took a deep breath, and stabbed upwards. The arrow lodged itself in its heart, and the monster squealed.
Before I could fall down from the turbulence, I tore it back out and stabbed it again. And again.
I pulled it across the surface, tearing the damn thing. A green ooze came from the holes, and I actually fucking puked at the smell. No hesitation on that. There was puke in this thing’s body.
That... was the worst thing I’ve ever smelt in my life.
I wiped my mouth, and removed the arrow.
AGGREEEEEAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
I gotta move!
I smashed the rib I laid on with my elbow and fell to the floor. I stood up, shook my head, and flicked my flashlight back on.
I began to run across what seemed to be a layer of fat, and went back the way I came. Upon coming across a wall, I took no time to grab another arrow from my pouch and begin scaling the wall.
Stabbing two sharp objects into a surface doesn’t make it very easy to climb, lemme tell you. It’s all in the upper-body, and I am thankful to have been blessed with good upper-body strength. Thanks for that one, Dad. Love ya.
SHRK
CHK
SHRK
CHK
SHRK
CHK
SHRK
CHK
...aaand we’re up!
I breathed heavily as I stood. I need to catch my breath after that. It was all in the upper-body- but that doesn’t mean it was a cakewalk or anything. That was hard as hell.
But no time to stop now. This is no place to die.
I ran with up-most speed and agility, and began to crawl when the ceiling lowered.
dmp
I grunted as I encountered a wall.
T-this wasn’t here before.
No- wait. I’m stupid. These are just teeth.
I turned around awkwardly, and raised my feet. With an exertion of breath, I slammed them forward and into the wall of bone.
A tooth cracked, and I grinned.
Oh yeah. It’s all coming together.
.....
“Gordon, you are actually bucking stupid. What made you think that was a good idea?!” Spike yelled, waving his hands around.
I put up my hands, “Spike, relax! It’s fin-“
DNMP
I laid down in shock as I brought a hand to my cheek.
Did he just.. did he just punch me? What the hell..?
“Shut up! It’s not fine!” He yelled, stomping his foot and huffing, “I thought you were- buck, I thought you were dead! I thought you had enough and just decided to end it! Celestia, Gordon! Do you know how terrifying that is to see?! Your friend just jumping into the enemy’s mouth! Nonchalantly, as well! Like it’s no big deal!”
He stepped over to me. “Well, it IS a big deal, Gordon. You can say it’s fine, but you have NO idea how I felt in that moment. I felt so..” he rubbed his head. “I felt so defeated. I didn’t do anything, while you were gone. I just stood there.”
He groaned. “Gordon, I thought you had killed yourself. I thought you had given up. So.. I did too. I waited for it to..” he sighed. “I waited for it to take me. But it never did.”
“And when it finally burst out of that wall, imagine my surprise when it’s teeth bust open and you pop out. It was dead. You had killed it from the inside.” He chuckled. “I feel silly. Buck, I should’ve known. Your scientific brain had a plan. You would never just kill yourself like that. Nopony would.”
He fell to a seated position on the floor, and raised up a leg, putting his arm on it.
“Sorry for punching you.” He muttered.
I rubbed my cheek, but quickly took my hand off of the sore area. Not important.
I sighed, stood up, and walked over to him.
“Spike.. I get how you feel. You don’t have to feel silly. You don’t have to feel bad. I should’ve told you the plan. I should’ve warned you. That was my bad. I deserve to be punched, maybe more than once. Don’t apologize for wanting to hit me.”
I let out my hand, and he grabbed it limply. I pulled him up and he looked at me. His eyes were slightly glossy.
I put my hand on his shoulder, and he looked down and into my eyes.
“Punch me again.” I said, fully serious. “As hard as you can.”
Upon hearing me say that, he burst out laughing.
...but slowly stopped, as he realized I wasn’t kidding.
“Seriously?” He asked. “I didn’t really hit you that hard the first time.. I’m stronger than you think-“
“Just do it.” I cut him off.
“Gordon, no.”
“Spike..”
“Gordon, I-“
“Spike, do it!”
“N-“
“Spike!”
BWMP!!
Black.
I was knocked out instantly.
From one punch.
“Uh, you gonna wake up?” Spike asked, smacking my face lightly.
...
“Guess not.” Spike muttered. A lightbulb went off, and he grinned.
“Well..” he looked away slyly. “Drastic times call for drastic measures!”
Spike grabbed my legs and dragged me over to the corpse of Kraken. He made sure my head was under the body, and nodded his own head in affirmation. He ran back to a different part of the arena and grabbed a shard of that old sword.
He walked right up Kraken, and..
Swik!
Ksshh..
SPLOOSH!
“AUGH!!” I yelled, waking up immediately. What the hell?! Water?!
I’m under a waterfall!
I moved away from said waterfall, and froze.
It took a minute for me to process it all.
That wasn’t water.
That.. was blood. From Kraken.
Spike is holding a piece of that sword. Did he..
I tasted iron in my mouth, and gagged. “Spike, oh my- oolp what the fuck, man!” I yelled, standing up.
Spike, oh, Spike was enjoying this. He was laughing his ass off at my pain.
Now, it wasn’t bad because it was blood, no, I was fucking coated in it already. You know, from JUMPING INSIDE HIS BODY- but that’s besides the point. I’m in discomfort because of the shock of it all; and the fact that it GOT IN MY MOUTH! Oh my GOD, MAN! That’s fucking SICK!
Spike wiped an imaginary tear away and chuckled. “You should’ve seen the look on your face! Man, that was good.”
“I should have, huh?” I asked sarcastically.
“Yep.. ah. We’re even now, heh.” He muttered, waving a hand.
“You already punched me!” I yelled in reply.
“You asked for that. Doesn’t count.” He said, crossing his arms. My eye twitched.
He was right.
“Well, whatever.” I said, and took a deep breath to quell my anger. “How long was I asleep?”
Spike shrugged. “2 minutes?”
I flinched. That’s it?
“Okay. Well, let’s get going. We can’t stay here forever.” I choked out.
Spike nodded. “Okay, that seems like a good plan. Where do we go, though? There doesn’t seem to be an opening anywhere.” He said, turning his head to look around the room.
This room was small. It was above a different arena we used, but it broke through when Spike jump-boosted really high and fell really hard. That was a little surprising. Who knew that he weighed that much?
I did. He’s heavy. I know from experience with carrying him multiple times throughout this damn journey.
“Wait, I see a branch up there! Maybe I can climb back up! I’m gonna jump up and see if I can grab it-“
FWOOOSH...
“Damn it! Missed.” Spike said, and fell back to the floor.
snap!
My eyes widened, and I put my head in my hands.
He can not be that stupid..
...
“Bitch!” I yelled out as I smacked face-first into the floor.
“Sorry! I didn’t know it would be that fragile! I thought it could handle my weight this time!” Spike yelled, sliding down the side of the wall. “Also, I wasn’t really thinking.” He rubbed his arm, looking at me.
“It looked like it was made of spider-webs; what do you mean you didn’t know? And why would you think that? The bigger floor didn’t support your shit..” I muttered, inspecting my glasses for any damage. Nope. “And the second answer was more what I was looking for.”
I put them back on, and rubbed the frames. Still dirty. Ha, ha.
“Okay you’re right! I should’ve-“
I put a hand up, stopping him from continuing. “It’s fine. No harm, no foul. You probably got us out of eternal hell, anyway. I didn’t see another exit.” I said, pointing above me.
He nodded sheepishly.
I stood up, and retrieved my fallen crossbow. Damn thing slipped off the hook. Looking around this new room, I noticed the pathway that opened over yonder, inside the wall. Like someone took a shovel to it or something.
A natural cave system.
Oh boy. Looks like we’re exploring some more caves. Great.
Although, past the stalactites and the crystals, past the weird architecture and dangerous floor construction.. was another opening. A light at the end of the tunnel, so-to-speak.
The path opened up..
And into a damn paradise.
What looked like a mountain, coated with crystal, sat across a large gap. Floating islands dotted the landscape, and it all looked beautiful with the glow of an orange sunset in the distance.
The words came to me as I muttered them.
“Interloper..” I whispered, taking it all in. Basking in the warmth of this pseudo-heaven.
“Wazzat?” Spike asked, looking over at me.
I snapped out of my momentary trance and quickly responded,
“Nothin’.”
Truly, I had no idea where that word came from.
But it felt right.