“Any sign of her?”
“Negative. You’d think she’d be easy to find.”
“I feel you. Let’s split up to cover more ground. Remember to keep your guard up.”
“Roger.”
The two ponies continued their search. Who were they searching for? A very strange earth pony. Heavily-enchanted nets would be overkill against most, but they weren’t going to take chances against this one; not only were they slippery, they were also dangerous, despite what their appearance would suggest. The fact that they were one of the country’s most wanted individuals certainly made that clear. The pair remained vigilant as they walked along, searching for any signs that could potentially lead them to their target.
As they walked, a pair of unusual eyes watched them from out of sight. When the sound of the steps faded, an earth pony cautiously exited from the vent they were hiding in and crept away with barely a sound.
Screwball was crazy, but that didn’t mean she was stupid. She was well aware of the fact that there were many searching for her, hunting her. So she kept herself hidden well when not outside doing what caused her to be hunted in the first place.
A white and pink ice cream truck—a decidedly evil-looking thing because of the flaming, grinning decorative head on its roof—sat in the center of the derelict garage that served as Screwball’s current temporary home. Far from luxurious, the building nonetheless held all of the necessities—a police scanner among them. Screwball once again walked to an empty space on one of the tables. Her expression turned sad as she silently stared at the space, a space that shouldn’t be empty.
Literally years, and she still hadn’t found what would normally be in that space. It hurt.
Sighing, she prepared herself a meal, but as she ate, the computer pinged with the sound of a new email. This was suspicious, as she had no contacts; so who could possibly be emailing her? She could only think of one creature who would, but she didn’t let her hopes get up. At least, until she saw the name of the sender: Calypso.
...Could it be?
WILL YOU DRIVE?
It was! She had typed and sent her response as soon as she processed the email’s contents.
YES!
After what felt like hours, but was really mere seconds, she received a second email.
Prepare your vehicle. Bring it to the following coordinates on the 25th day of the final month at 8 o’clock sharp.
Her heart began to beat faster. It was happening...
It’s happening, it’s happening, it’s happening, it’s happening, it’s happening, it’s happening, it’s happening, it’s happening, it’s happening, it’s happening.
Screwball
Species: Earth pony
Sex: Female
Physical description: Pink-purple fur, purple-and-white-striped mane and tail, purple spiral eyes, striped propeller beanie
Cutie mark: Screw and baseball
An escaped mental patient, Screwball is a mare on a mission. She has entered Twisted Metal in hopes of gaining the one prize that means more to her than anything else in the world: her best friend.
Vehicle: Sweet Tooth (Chevrolet Step Van)
Speed: 1/5
Handling: 1/5
Armor: 4/5
Special: 5/5
Though it drives like a bathtub on wheels, this baby is POWERFUL! Watch out for its flaming ice cream cones!
Special Weapon: Napalm Cone - A scorching scoop of flaming ice cream! Comes in vanilla or chocolate!
Round 1: Arena Duel
Opponents: 1
So this was it: The fabled Twisted Metal contest. Screwball almost couldn’t believe that this was really happening: she was competing in it! She could get her best friend back!
The Arena itself was large; it sported packed bleachers, a few ramps, a repair station, a few barriers and cargo containers that could be used as cover, and a tower in the center. Multiple pick-up items were scattered across the grounds.
Screwball didn’t sit around, she couldn’t afford to: her opponent was a sleek, silver sports car that would undoubtedly be able to run rings around her ice cream truck. Accelerating forward and passing very close by the tower, she didn’t flinch when the silver car opened fire on her; Sweet Tooth could take it.
But the sports car wasn’t going to merely tickle Sweet Tooth; no, its driver was going to fight with intent to kill. They demonstrated this effectively by launching a strange-looking missile that, though not inflicting any significant amount of damage, prompted Screwball to go onto the defensive.
Making use of a turbo, she weaved her cumbersome truck around the obstacles to collect a repair pick-up. She then sharply turned in the car’s direction and launched a Napalm Cone, the flaming projectile laughing insanely as it traveled through the air and struck its target hard, knocking off a third of the silver machine’s health with the aid of a burst of machine gun fire.
Just like that, the tables turned. Now, the sports car was the one on the defensive.
It ducked behind one of the barriers, but Screwball was one step ahead of them, swerving around the obstacle and ramming into it, bringing them to about half health, before opening fire with her machine guns, rushing forward, and ramming into her opponent again, plunging its status into the red zone. But they weren’t going to go down so easily.
Using their superior maneuverability, they moved out of Screwball’s line of fire and launched a freeze missile that stopped Sweet Tooth in its tracks, then used the opportunity to rush to the repair station and bring themselves back into better fighting shape. Re-entering the fray, they launched another weird missile at her.
But Screwball sent another Napalm Cone their way that removed much of the health restored by the repair station. And this time, she didn’t let up, stopping the sports car with a freeze missile and then firing two more Napalm Cones that turned the shiny machine into flaming, fancy-looking scrap metal.
Round 2: Warehouse District Warfare
Opponents: 3
One battle down... it had been, and there was no other way to put it, fun. She was very much looking forward to the many fights ahead; she hoped they would be as fun!
“Hehehe...”
With the moon shining in the sky, Screwball set off into round two. Roaming the streets, she soon came across an opponent: a bright purple lowrider. It greeted her with a flamethrower; Screwball responded with a Napalm Cone. Turning to keep the purple car in sight, she attacked it with a pair of fire missiles and her machine guns, until another pair of lights started rapidly approaching from her right.
Screwball quickly reversed away from the lowrider, moments before a pitch black semi truck came speeding in and smashed into it at top speed, putting the purple machine into the red zone. Before she could get away, the hulking black truck turned its attention to her and launched a freeze missile, then attacked her while she was unable to retaliate. She used a turbo to free herself, then, because of the state her vehicle was in, turned tail and ran.
The lowrider currently was more interested in the semi truck, which brought Screwball enough time to get to the arena’s repair station. But the big black machine wasn’t going to let her go so easily. They followed her to the station and pounced when she exited, forcing her to take immediate defensive measures.
Without much weaponry on hoof, she laid down an oil slick to aid her escape and fled to safety around the corner of one of the buildings, pushing her machine to go as fast as it could to escape the immediate danger. But in getting away from one opponent, she found herself driving straight toward another: a yellow taxi. It wasn’t interested in her, however, speeding past to find the other two combatants.
Grabbing a repair pick-up, Screwball steeled herself and dove back into the heat of battle, where she found the semi truck and the taxicab trading blows and the lowrider now just a charred wreck. She launched a Napalm Cone at the truck and scored a direct hit, after which the taxi turned and hurled a flaming bottle at her. Refusing to let up, she chipped away at the semi with her machine guns, not stopping until it went up in flames.
Once again, it was now one-on-one. Sweet Tooth had more armor and raw firepower, while the taxi was faster and more maneuverable. On paper, the winner of this fight was a tough call. Screwball had to make sure that it was her that came out on top.
Both drivers launched their respective vehicle’s Special Weapons and scored direct hits, but Sweet Tooth’s did much more damage. The taxi promptly U-turned and started putting distance between itself and the ice cream truck in the interest of self-preservation.
Screwball still had a few tricks up her sleeve. Activating a turbo, she relentlessly chased the taxi down the road while firing her machine guns along with a couple of homing missiles. But in her excited frenzy to eliminate the remaining opponent, she developed tunnel vision; her machine guns overheated and stopped, and the taxi laid down an oil slick that sent Screwball crashing into one of the buildings.
Straightening herself out, she activated another turbo and resumed her pursuit. The taxi had vanished, but she knew it was out there, and with the small size of the battleground, it wouldn’t be able to hide for long...
It suddenly zoomed out and t-boned her, but because it was much lighter, didn’t do much damage. Screwball launched her full stock of fire missiles in its direction, then turbo rammed it, and finally used a Napalm Cone to finish the job.