//------------------------------// // Brightening of Ponyville (S3 E2) // Story: Unpleasant Correspondence 2 (My Little Pony: Reign of the Goddess-Queens) // by StormLuna //------------------------------// Dear Starlight, Well I just thought I'd let you know that thanks to Twibitch, I have absolutely nothing to do and I utterly despise not being a productive citizen of Equestria. For a while this was irking the hell out of me but then I learned that the mayor down here is up for election so despite her being incredibly popular, I decided to run. The town clerk told me that I had absolutely no chance of winning because Ponyville would never elect a unicorn as mayor but what the fuck does that bitch know, right? Now thanks to me being a lot wealthier than my opponent, I have been able to do a ton of campaigning, hold rallies and have yard signs and hats produced to promote my candidacy. The good thing is that I have had increasing crowds at my rallies and I have had plenty of ponies simply wanting to talk to me and get to know me. Since I have a completely empty schedule now, I've been treating all of them to lunch. Hey, taking them out to lunch should get them to vote for me, right? Anyway, we had our debate a couple nights ago and I tore that mayor apart. She was doing nothing but bitching and complaining about how I shouldn't be allowed to run since I'm from Canterlot and going on and on about how I would coerce unicorn owned businesses to overrun the town because of all the money I have. She also got into these crazy conspiracy theories that the election would be rigged against her because of you. She bitched about how you treat me like a daughter and made claims that since everypony hates Twilight that they'd vote for me out of spite. What a dumb, paranoid bitch, right? Now for some really great news! The Ponyville Express endorsed me! In their opinion section yesterday, they did a huge write up about how I would be the best pony for the job! They know that I'll improve the economy because once businesses learn about who is mayor and who I have ties to, they'll want to relocate here. They seem to think that the town has stagnated with Mayor Mare in office and that I'll be the one to fix things! Anyway, election day is in four days so wish me good luck. Oh and if I do win, that town clerk is going to be the first to go. She is nothing more than a racist bitch who doesn't think a unicorn can win. I've already decided I'll make one of my lovelies the town clerk instead, probably Dear Darling, the unicorn, since she won't have to write things with her mouth. Running for Mayor, Bright Beam P.S. Oh and WHEN Twilight's stupid school goes bankrupt, I am thinking that we should turn it into a casino! Just imagine all the tourists we'd have coming in! With me as mayor and you as my mentor, we could make Ponyville far better than it is now! Dear Bright Beam, I knew you wouldn't let Twilight's firing of you hold you down for long. Now that town clerk does sound like a total bitch and I'm glad she will be the first to go when you take over down there. Racist whores like her should never be allowed to be involved in any line of government work. Hell I wouldn't even want a racist being a dogcatcher because they'd likely go and dognap ponies' dogs (probably those owned by unicorns) just because of that pony's race. Now I am glad to see you are drumming up support the way you are. It was just a couple days ago when my daughters and I were out and about and we saw several ponies wearing hats supporting you walking around town. One thing about them, they were all former staff at the school so that doesn't really surprise me. I do want to let you know though that there was one pony bitching about how you would likely force every hot mare you see into your bed but I know you'd never do that! Now I knew you'd be able to easily destroy that mayor in the debate. You are my protege and you have a world class education so it is obvious you'd win the debate but it sounds like that mayor is just a small town country bumpkin who is afraid of change and will use smear tactics. What a worthless bitch. Ponies like her, overly paranoid idiots should never be holding any kind of office if you ask me. Now I am thrilled that you earned that endorsement from the local newspaper. That will go a long way in getting you elected because most ponies there have a subscription to it so they'll easily go for the pony the paper endorses. I'm sure that mayor down there will go bitching and shit when she loses but hey, she could always be one of your maids, right? Well I look forward to your letter after you win but I am curious about one thing. Are you going to make Dear Darling the town clerk so you two can have horn sex during your lunch hour? If so, I think that will be awesome. I think lunch along with a hot snack afterwords will make you do your job even better. Your Proud Mentor, Starlight Dear Starlight, Guess what, I won! I won in a landslide down here. Almost every single pony voted for me! Get this though, that mayor is now screaming that there was massive voter fraud, claiming that YOU used your magic from afar to change the votes and is demanding a do-over election, one in which she would be given a third of the vote in advance. What a pathetic, crybaby loser, right. She needs to realize that I kicked her ass and get over it! It reminds me of this orange mental defect in the My Little Human comic series that got his ass kicked but refused to concede and he had to be drug out of the executive mansion kicking and screaming. Oh well, come the beginning of the year, I'll be taking over and things down here will be so much better. One thing is for sure, we'll have a friendly town clerk, business taxes will be lower and with the increased revenue that will be coming in, town workers will be getting pay raises. Oh, and the inauguration ceremony will be on January 1. Yes I know that is a federal holiday but hey, down here it is a matter of new year, new mayor! I do hope we can get together sooner though. Mayor-Elect of Ponyville, Bright Beam Dear Bright Beam, This is sweet! I am so proud of you and I do know that Ponyville will be such a better place with you running the show instead of that old-fashioned bitch who dyes her mane. Do know that I will support you in any thing you choose to down there and let's say you were to want to legalize gambling down there, I could entice some casino company to open one up down there. Long story short, I'll help you make sure you're the best mayor in Ponyville history. Despite Luster living there and a soon to fail friendship school being there, things will be awesome. Oh I have the perfect idea, once Luster runs Twilight's school into the ground, I'm sure I could find a way to take over that building and we could turn that into a casino or something else that will bring in plenty of tourists....and the students' quarters, those could easily be turned into a hotel. I know that getting that school building into YOUR possession may prove to be not an easy task but hey, I'm sure I can find a way to get that psychological train wreck known as my sister to sign it over to you....maybe I could put her into a trance or give her a bunch of cake with mind altering drugs in it. Again, I'm so proud of you. I would write more but my daughters and I are going to be going out for lunch and you know how it is when members of the royal family go out for lunch, we'll be gone for the rest of the day. Happy for You, Starlight Dear Goddess-Queen Twilight Sparkle, I am pissed, thoroughly pissed. That little bitch protege of your sister's beat me in the local election because Starlight was changing the votes from afar. I know how she is, she used her infinite powers to make sure that her precious little Bright Beam could win the election by cheating. It didn't help that that rich little bitch could hold rallies, take ponies out to lunch and have yard signs and hats made too. Taking ponies out to lunch to coerce them into voting for someone is illegal as hell and I am demanding that you overturn the results of this election or at least make them have a do-over election, one in which Bright Beam can't coerce and bribe ponies for votes! All this shit is voter fraud on steroids and Starlight was behind it. I think you should banish her into another dimension over this, she should not be allowed to alter elections like this. If you let her do this all over the country, it will only be ponies just like her running every single community and we can't let that happen. Now let me know when you overturn this election or at least declare it null and void and schedule a do-over, I don't want to get kicked out of office because of a fraudulent election. Demanding You Fix This, Mayor Mare Dear Mayor Mare, I was going to do something UNTIL you demanded that I do anything for anypony. Look, nopony orders me around and those that do, well they will meet very unpleasant fates. With you, the second your term is over you will be coming up here where I will age regress you to the age of eighteen, force you to keep the pink mane and then initiate you into my harem. I already did it with the little hottie who adopted me when I was a newborn and I may as well add you to the mix. Oh and Starlight is in charge of elections in this country anyway and I know that if I was to try and challenge her over that, we'd wind up having another magic battle and I doubt Canterlot wants that. Now just quit bitching and prepare yourself to have a ton of Sparkle introduced into your life! Ready to Initiate You Soon, Goddess-Queen Twilight Sparkle