//------------------------------// // Chapter 7 Hearts and Hooves Day // Story: A Moon's secret // by LightShieldtheunicorn //------------------------------// It has been daytime for several hours. Hearts and Hooves Daytime, to be exact. Ponyville’s cutest couples stare in wonder at two Lunar Guards, who grumble as they carry Luna’s bed, with Luna sitting in it. “Hmm, no this will not do.” The princess orders as they ponder where to put the bed. “A little to the right." “She seems happy.” One spectating pony whispers to another. “Yeah,” The other responds in a hushed whisper. “She acts like a total freak when she’s happy. We should get outta here.” And at that, they rush off. After a bit of back and forth, the guards finally set the bed down in front of Ponyville’s town hall. “Yes, indeed!” Shouts the princess. “This slumbering spot is perfection!” “Uh, Princess Luna?” A blue pony asks. “What are you doing?” “CAN’T YOU SEE, CHILD?” Luna announces in her royal voice. “I WAS MOVING TO A PERFECT SLUMBERING SPOT, AND NOW, I SHALL SLUUUUMBER!” She flops over on her back. “You there, guard-” She commands, but before she can finish, she is interrupted by a pink and green pony. “Yeah, but what are you DOING?” “I AM SLUMBERI-” “I know THAT. Why are you sleeping here? Don’t you have something better to do? It’s like, literally a holiday.” Luna raises her eyebrows. “I SHALL NOT TAKE PART IN THIS… DAYTIME HOLIDAY,” She declares. “IN CELEBRATION OF MY VERY FIRST SPECIAL SOMEPONY, I SHALL SLEEP IN THE CENTER OF PONYVILLE DURING HEARTS AND HOOVES DAY. I SHALL ABSORB ALL THE DAY’S ROMANTIC-NESS FOR MY DATE TONIGHT!” The blue pony and the pink pony exchange bewildered glances. “Now,” Luna orders. “Guards, play some romantic music!” “But we’re Lunar Guards,” Yawns the first one. “We don’t play instruments. In fact, we’re usually asleep at this hour. More importantly, I’m supposed to be on a date.” “DOES THOU EVER WANT CUPCAKES AGAIN?” Bellows the princess. “FINE!” Groans the first guard, turning to glare at the second guard, who shrugs and says: “What?” “You got us into this mess by making her mad last night,” The first guard whispers under her breath. “So you’d better do what the princess says, or it’s gonna be a long Hearts and Hooves Day. Drop me a sick beat.” “Uh…” The second guard sighs and starts awkwardly beatboxing. The first guard attempts to make up a romantic song to the beat. “Umm, Hearts and Hooves Day… it’s a good day, duh duh duh, yeah. Lovers giving flowers, singing songs for hours, when we just wanna go home...hypothetically. Uhh… I’m not talking about me… def-in-ite-ly… it’s a hypothetical pon-y.” As the guard sings, she wanders a bit too close to Luna’s spot. “Ah ah ah!” Luna scolds, karate-chopping the space in between the guard and her area. “You must refrain from invading my Hearts and Hooves Day personal space bubble of romance, please.” The first guard sighs, and groans: “Yes, your majesty.” Across town, Princess Celestia strolls elegantly through crowds of ponies, smelling their bouquets of roses to help them find the perfect ones for their special someponies. All the while, she delightedly listens to Lightshield’s big news. “So, yeah!” Lightshield gushes. “I have a special somepony, and I can fly, and everything is amazing!” “That is absolutely wonderful,” Celestia squeals with glee. “My favorite guardian, my best friend, in a relationship with my little sister! Oh, this is so exciting!” “Yeah,” Lightshield replies. “That’s-” “You two are just perfect for one another! Luna has a very strange sense of humor, and I think you get it much more than I do.” “Yes, exactly,” Lightshield bursts with excitement, struggling to keep up with Celestia as she speeds down the rose-smelling line. “That’s why-” “Oh, I should have known you liked each other! I totally didn’t know it! Oh, this is such a wonderful surprise! You two are just adorable together!” “YES!” Lightshield blurts out. He begins to talk extremely fast, to get to his point before she can interrupt him again. “YES, AND THAT’S WHY WE’RE HAVING A HEARTS AND HOOVES NIGHT, AND I WAS WONDERING IF MAYBE, PLEASE, I COULD HAVE THE DAY OFF AND GO TO SLEEP SO ME AND LUNA, WHO IS MY SPECIAL SOMEPONY CAN HANG OUT TONIGHT!” He has to catch his breath by the time he finishes his sentence. Celestia’s face drops as she walks along. “I’m sorry, Lightshield. But you know I can’t let you do that-” “Well, why not?” Lightshield finds himself cutting her off now, with slightly more hostility than he intended. He just really wants to be with his favorite pony in the world tonight, and he can’t imagine what could possibly be important enough to put that on hold. “There’s nothing to guard you from today. It’s love-day. Who’s going around attacking people on a holiday like this?” “Unfortunately, villains do NOT take a break today,” Says Celestia indignantly. “ At least, not those obnoxious Diamond Dogs.” “Diamond Dogs?” Lightshield retorts. “Oh for crying out- Why would they give a damn about Hearts and Hooves Day?” “Because! Have you seen the sparkling jewelry and gemstones ponies give to each other on this day? Don’t even get me started on the ones they give ME! Diamond Dogs are all over that sort of thing. They’ll kidnap anyone with enough gemstones coming their way, and no one gets as many free gems as Equestria’s princess!” “You mean one of Equestria’s PRINCESSES,” Lightshield warns. “Oh, we both know Luna isn’t in any danger tonight!” “Yeah, because no one but me seems to care about her.” Lightshield mumbles, just a little too loud. “What was that?” “Uh, n-nothing...Your Majesty.” “Are you accusing me of not caring about the wellbeing of MY OWN SISTER?” Celestia huffs. “Do you have any idea how much danger she’d be in if I got kidnapped? She’d have to raise the sun AND the moon! She’d be the target of every evil force in all of Equestria!” A voice in Lightshield’s head speaks: Would she, Celestia? Or maybe YOU’RE just scared, because she’d be the most powerful force in all of Equestria. We BOTH would be. Together. Keep in mind, I can fly. I’m practically an alicorn now. If you don’t think I’m on your level, think again. He decides it best not to say this aloud. “Listen,” Celestia speaks sternly. “I know it’s hard for you to miss out on Hearts and Hooves Day. Especially since it’s so exciting you’ve found your special somepony! But perhaps you should have thought of your sleep schedule limits when it comes to Luna.” “Are you saying I shouldn’t have chosen Luna?” “I’m not saying that! I-” “She’s all alone! Every night! No one else gets to choose her! Everyone only knows about the princess of the daytime!” “Lightshield, that’s-” She exhales sharply. “You know what, we don’t have time to argue. We have a job to do, yes? Let’s agree to disagree for now, if we want today to go smoothly for the subjects.” “You’re right,” Lightshield agrees, a little reluctantly. “For the good of the people.” With his hopes shattered on the floor and crushed into a million pieces, he steps in front of Celestia, looking as threatening and guard-like as possible. While he pretends to care about the roses she smells, he can’t stop thinking: What am I going to tell Luna? He doesn’t get much time to think of that, though, as Celestia immediately begins to yelp: “Invasion! Invasion! Hide the jewels! Lightshield, I told you!” Sure enough, little scrappy-looking paws dig through the ground. “Great,” Lightshield hisses, rolling his eyes. “Diamond Dogs.”