//------------------------------// // 28 – Letting Go // Story: Five Score – A Prench Tale Vol.1 // by Alsey //------------------------------// Laurence's View I gaze at my reflection in the mirror. The extra-large white press-stud shirt still folds bizarrely in places, despite Mom's adjustments, but it fits well enough, the masculine cut unnoticeable, and the wing openings are in the appropriate place. Same story for the dark gray shorts that reach a little past my knees, with the embarrassing but necessary tail hole. Though what truly brings it all together, in my opinion, is the dark burgundy, faux leather jacket. It just feels right. “How is it?” “It's really great, Mom. I love it.” “How about you, Élise?” We turn to the pegasus, who has finally managed to struggle into her sky-blue backless dress and black yoga pants combo. She doesn't have my ample experience of dressing oneself with hooves and wings, but that'll come. “It's, uh... It's very nice!”, she grins, a bit too widely. “Thank you again, Mrs. Ségaux!” Mom isn't fooled either. “Are the straps too short?” “Oh no, no! It's perfect!”, Élise exclaims, face flushing. “I mean, the dress fits great, almost as good as any I've worn before going pony! It's just... Well, I guess I've got used to being au naturel, so now it feels a little... stuffy, maybe..? But I know I have to wear something, so I will, and I couldn't ask better than these outfits, really!” Mom stares at her, incredulous: “How did you shake off twenty-five years of taboo in just a couple days..?” I chuckle at the predictable remark, and at Élise's sheepish expression. “Ponies are like that.”, I shrug. “Most of them seem to think that a full coat of hair and a tail are already enough covering.” “That's still weird...”, Mom mutters. “Anyway, if we're finished, you can undress and we'll fold it away with the rest.” “I... think I'll keep it for now, get used to it again, if that's okay?”, the mare asks. Eh, someone's not too eager to have to figure how to get out of that dress, huh..? “Do as you wish, it's yours now.”, Mom dismisses with a flick of the hand. As they both move to walk out of the garage, and I don't, she turns to me: “Laurence?” “Don't wait for us, I'm just going to admire your handiwork a little more.” That gets me an eye roll, and a slight smile as she leaves. I wasn't kidding – I like what I'm seeing in the mirror. Well, clothing-wise at least. It's quite the boon that Mom would choose to burn her stress out by buying and customizing a whole new set of clothes for us – and she knew what I'd like. Bigger sizes, wider, masculine cut, they end up far more comfortable than the very tight and ill-fitting ones I was holding on to. As for what's under the clothes... *sigh* A lot of things may have changed, but... I'm still myself. Not the right body, not the right brain, maybe not the right soul, but I'm more than the sum of these parts, it's still me inside. I wouldn't feel so awful, so divorced from my own identity, if there wasn't some core aspect of me, deep down, that was still at odds with this mare. Could it just be her own self-hatred, that disgust for her acts, so powerful in the memories I inherited..? It can't be just that... She was repulsed by what she did, not what she was. Maybe it's what gave me a chance to resist some of the mental changes. A last, unlikely gift, so that we may be able to resist Discord's curse... I thought I had lost the fight before it could even begin, but there's still hope. It'll be a challenge, to hold on to who I am, to preserve my humanity, and I have no intention of giving up... But at the same time, as much as it irks me, it wouldn't be very pragmatic of me to not admit that Rafale passed on more than just her revulsion and her body. It'd be a terribly wasted opportunity to keep rejecting everything she may have to offer, if I can make good use of it – to help others, and to have a chance at someday reclaiming my real body. These are only tools, tools that I'll learn how to use and master! The empathy, the strength, the speed, the magic... Feathers slide against fabric, as I unfurl and spread a wing from under my jacket. My wing..? ... Ugh, no! Not yet, and hopefully not ever..! This... This just isn't me. Tools, nothing more... I turn away from the mirror before I wander toward even less pleasant thoughts. “Sure you're not interested in at least some kind of accessory?”, I ask Dusky. The colt hasn't moved from his spot on the workbench, and his answer is a simple shake of the head. Almost two days, and still barely a word... I haven't left his side during that time, hours spent holding him close, but I can tell he's afraid, and that his nights are racked by nightmares. I hope he won't keep it all in, that he'll accept to talk about it eventually... I just don't want to rush him and put him on the defensive. As far as the others are concerned, he was being manipulated by Discord. It's still true, even if it doesn't describe the full truth... Based on what I remember of the 'conversation' in the house of mirrors, I get the story of a monster that preyed on an emotionally vulnerable foal, conditioning him to do his bidding in exchange for the 'love' and safety he craved... Even if true, that doesn't erase what Dusky has done, especially as I don't know everything he did yet, but... He's just a kid. He deserves a second chance, at the very least. I'll support him, help him get better... ... And make sure he never has a chance to hurt anyone else. For now, we probably should get back to the others. I hold a wing to help Dusky climb on my back. He settles against my jacket, clinging a little tighter than usual, and I walk us out of the garage. Everybody's in the living room, enjoying some digestifs and generally having a good time after a nice dinner. Mom, Dad, Élise, her father, Brigitte, Maëlle – all whose family's been impacted by the curse, around the same table... Mél's missing, but she had her opportunity to scold me over the phone yesterday. I sit next to the pegasus mare, letting the colt on my back transition to my lap. “So, you're still sure about this, no second thoughts?”, I ask Élise. “Yes, I am.”, she answers, a bit nervous but trying to sound resolute. “I need to do something, something that matters. It's already hard enough to be forced to leave the clinic and all the people there... I can't just go to a farm in the middle of nowhere, not when I could try to help here.” “You know this will be a bit more arduous than a regular job though, right?” And maybe dangerous, too... “Oh I got quite the preview, don't worry...”, she sighs. “But someone has to try. We managed to convince my father, we convinced my friend too, so why not others? These politicians and bureaucrats need to learn about us, and what better way than by giving a real face to that 'pony issue'? I'm sure it would help things along, or at least garner some sympathy for our plight.” “I certainly hope so.”, I smile... though, in truth, I still have my reservations. These officials claimed they hadn't heard of the ponies before, but I have the feeling they know more than they're letting on... The government and Antoine represent only one slice of the political spectrum, we just proved they don't have trusted eyes and ears everywhere, and I doubt ponies appeared only in their jurisdictions... The temptation to stay is real, to make sure Élise will be okay, but I know she's not alone. And besides, I said I'd come back, and I'm sure Amber would be pretty miffed if I didn't keep my word! It's been just short of a week, but it felt like a lot longer... Hope everything went well in my absence. So, until Antoine's people arrive with our ride and we drive back to Coursac through the night, let's try to enjoy some more family time while we still can... Sweetchard's View After a little more finagling with hooves and mouth, I finally manage to get that ponytail done. In my defense, it didn't really help matters that Pippin kept fidgeting and trying to look at me as I was battling with her mane. The bat mare inspects her reflection in the truck's windows, poking lightly at the puffy, swept-back forelock now sitting between her ears. It's strange, in a way, to not have a blond curtain in front of her eyes. There's still some stray hair too short to be tied with the others, like bangs falling over her brow, though it all looks quite neat length-wise... Maybe it's close to her original style? That'd explain why she looks so satisfied wi— She pulls the scrunchie off, and hair cascades back all over her face. ... Are you kidding me? Pippin hasn't let go of the scrunchie though, and slowly, carefully, she begins to retrace the steps we went through earlier, using her wings to gather her forelock, sweeping it back, and tying it up with the rest of her long mane. The first attempt is... Well let's say it's a good try, but too much of the rebellious forelock escaped her grip, and she didn't tie the rest tightly enough. The second attempt's already miles better, and with the third she does a better job than I did – like she just had to remember long-practiced moves. Could very well be the case, come to think of it... “This is good!”, she proclaims, prancing back to her pillow pile with a cute smile on her face. Once seated her wing-thumb grasps for the tip of the ponytail, and starts lazily twirling the hair. “I'm glad you like it, it really suits you.” More of that cute smile in answer; it warms my heart. Just like the simple fact that she allowed me to touch her, to stand so closely... *sigh* At least one thing goes well in this life..! “Talk about it..?”, she asks, concern in her slit eyes. Dang it, she's beginning to learn how to read me... But I guess I don't have anything to lose, and it's not like she doesn't know most of it already anyways. “It's nothing really, just... Well, you know... After what happened with Crispy, and everybody so tense and upset after the incident, and the work in the fields done, and... Honestly, our nights together are the real highlight of my days, the rest of the time I just don't know what to do with myself...” “We can find ways!”, Pippin is quick to offer. “I guess... Any ideas?” She blinks, and tilts her head as she ponders the question. “Lots and none. Mmmmmmmmmmh... Most appropriate would be 'don't stop'.” “'Don't stop' what?” “Don't stop you! Keep learning and thinking and working on you, improving! Not for her or for a field, for you! Better you are with you, better you can also be with others, that's how it works – less of a mess, mess less things up!” Her enthusiasm pulls a chuckle out of me. “That doesn't sound too bad... And I have to admit, your lessons have had a positive impact so far.” “Oh, lessons, yes yes yes!”, she gushes. “Can also teach permaculture and sustainable farming, that I know! If you want to, that is...” “That sounds great, actually. If I want to get this life back on tracks, I need to be doing something, to have a reason to get up and be active during my days! And I mean, if I'm trying to focus on myself, that'd include my cutie mark too and whatever talent I may have for the stuff, right?” “Logical!”, she nods. I share her smile now, it's truly infectious – just like the whole of her has grown on me, really. Even if the context wasn't a happy one, I'm glad my insomnia gave me a chance to get to know my sneaky sleepgardener... She proved to be just as gifted with plants as with damaged ponies, in her own weird ways. And she deserves to know it: “Thank you, Pippin... You've been a friend to me when I needed it most, and I know I'd be a whole lot worse off if it wasn't for you.” I expected more smiling, or maybe a blush, but not for her to suddenly stop smiling, ears drawn back and wing-thumbs clutching nervously at her ponytail! What did I say!? “Pippin..?” She's not even looking in my general direction anymore, staring at some random point on the floor. “Hey, you can tell me...”, I say softly. “What's the matter?” “I...”, she stammers, grasping her hair so firmly I'm afraid she's going to pull clumps off. “I– I had to balance the bad! Had to try, even if it stays!” 'Balance'? Does she mean, like... Being nice to balance all the bad stuff that's been happening to me? That's... That's kinda what I figured was going on at first, sure, but I think we've moved well past that, no? Maybe we haven't... Maybe she hasn't..? But no, no! She's too blunt, too raw, it's taken days before she got comfortable with my mere presence and we have a real connection now, it's plain to see! Her thought processes aren't always easy to follow, she's probably just agonizing over, I don't know, pitying me at first? Trying to make me feel better because of that? Yeah, at first that could've bothered me, but I can't really argue with the results, and... It still came from her. And that's what matters. “I think I get why you're thinking that way Pippin, but really it's okay! I mean, you didn't really have to, and—” “Had to!”, she cries out, looking almost offended that I'd suggest otherwise. Well... If that's how she feels, I guess that's just how she feels, right? No reason to get so upset about it now but, well, she doesn't hide her feelings, she's not like that... And if I'm being honest, it's also a good part of what makes her so endearing, almost charming, that and all her cute quirks. It's... probably not a good idea – heck I'm sure it's a really bad idea, but... I mean, we've been honest with each other from the beginning, there's no secret, no lie between us! We've learned about each other, through trial and error, learned how we acted, but also how to get better. We already work pretty well together. But I've never had a rebound end well, or last very long, and it's not— “Should've told,” I catch Pippin muttering, barely loud enough to reach my ears, “should've told right away, could've been different..!” “Told what?”, I ask – before registering that slimy feeling that I actually really, really don't want to know. But it's too late. She's staring at me like a bat caught in the headlights, mouth hanging slightly agape, wings frozen in place. We stay like this for too long, far too long. All the while the dread keeps mounting in my chest, building up for every second she stays silent, every second the expression of shock breaks down a little more into another one. Guilt. “... Told about you.”, she finally lets out, voice so small and strangled it's barely a murmur, and yet the three words are unmistakable, unavoidable. But it doesn't make sense. No sense at all. It can't make any kind of sense! In fact, I don't even know why we're making such a big deal of three measly words! It's so insignificant, so unimportant, why there's not even any reason to care! And I'll prove it! So I shake off the stupid dread that has no business being here and pick up my hot chocolate. Ah, not as warm as I'd like it, spent too long styling hair and staring for no good reason, but still warm enough to enjoy! Come on Chard, no stress, just chocolate, like always it's the best answer to— “Heard you and the spotted pony scream...” Y– yes, chocolate's just the best! Just a taste, and everything else van— “... Saw you leave, and get too far...” Mmh oh yeah, that's the stuff! Why are these mugs so small, really that's a crime!! “... And not come back...” Please, just..! “Didn't have to be afraid anymore..!” Just..! “No more big angry pony to hunt me..! But—” “JUST STOP!!”, I yell to the sound of crashing ceramic. “I don't want to hear any of th—” I take a gust of air in the face, and when I look again Pippin's vanished from her pillow pile, the tealight sitting nearby snuffed out. A scrapping sound makes me turn towards the truck and the spooked pony taking refuge at its top, eyes wide and wings ready to flap her away to safety! What, now you're afraid!? Seriously, was that your goal for tonight, to– to find new ways to hurt me!? I open myself to you and that's just so that you can– can..! No no no no no, get a grip, Chard! Calm down, I know you're hurt and angry but that won't do you any good! But she lied to me! She betrayed me!! Why can't I ever just catch a bucking break!! Even the one pony who wouldn't hurt a fly turns out to— “Brain-me...”, she whimpers, voice trembling and squeaky, the sheer anguish making me pause. “Brain-me made me do it, I swear..! It was happy, I could help ponies and still avoid you..! But you got hurt...” Her wing fingers are still twitching, ready for flight, but she forces them to fold up. “Can't change it, can't erase that mistake... But could still try to help, to make things better, even a little, try to balance the bad with some good..!” I... No, I want to be mad at her, she deserves that I be mad at her! And now she's cowering like a rat caught in a trap, trying to make me feel bad, to get sympathy points from me! But can you really blame her, for being happy the cat was away..? Even with that, she was still here, once that cat was declawed, willing to help. She didn't leave your ship to sink. ... She did something she wasn't proud of, then tried to make up for it. I can certainly relate to that... I can't fault her for being afraid of me at the time, I was so angry and unhinged then, with the blight, with the pressure, playing cat and mouse with that sleepgardener was an obsession... I would've been relieved, too, in her place. But still, she— No. Just let it go, Chard... She wanted to make things better, she took risks for me – or at least what she perceives as risks. Even tonight she's still offering advice and encouragements. And even tonight you're still messing things up... She seems to take my long silence for rejection, and her wings spread again, ready to carry her away from the angry pony. “Please, don't go... I'm sorry.” The wings stop moving. She glances at me, moonlight reflected on the tears pearling in the corner of her eyes. “Don't have to be. I'm so sorry, I didn't want to, but I had to tell, had to let it out..! Only appropriate course of action...”, she sniffs. “I understand... You were right to tell me. And... And I forgive you, Pippin.” She doesn't seem too convinced... And, if I'm being honest with myself, my heart's still aching, still hurting. But, after a minute, she lets herself slide carefully down to the hood of the truck. Her wings are still only half-closed, but I know her signs of trust when I see them. *sigh* Again and again, my issues find ways to spoil my relationships... I'm lucky she's giving me a second chance, but I also have to get better... Like she said, I need to work on myself, and not let myself fall back into bad habits. I'll do it... For myself. And through myself, eventually, for the others too. Looking down at my hooves, I find my mug shattered. Next to the pillow pile, Pippin's was knocked over. I glance at her. She's watching what I'm going to do next. “Another hot chocolate?”, I ask my friend with a tired smile. Laurence's View The car door slams shut, and soon enough the vehicle's on its way back through the forest road, leaving us on the grass in front of Coursac's mossy wall and the dirt path snaking up to the farm. Guess they really did fear for their fancy rental, leaving us here rather than risk going all the way up to the farmstead... I would've liked to see Clem at the gate, but it was one of her colleagues manning it. Maybe she's still recovering from that bullet wound? Anyway, it's decently sunny for now but the wind is picking up, and I know how fickle the weather can be here – let's not waste any more time. We start on the path, my bag sitting a bit precariously on my back and Dusky walking at my side. I don't go too fast, so the colt can follow at a comfortable pace – he doesn't fly that often compared to the other pegasi I know, maybe that's a matter of age. At least it gives me the opportunity to see all the work that's been done on the fields, and damn how they've changed! It looks like there's already a lot of little green sprouts all over the new terraces, but that can't be right, they were barely starting when I left... Can it really grow that fast? I'll ask Pippin. As we get closer the ponies milling around start to notice us, and I use a wing to wave back at them. They seem happy, almost relieved to see us... Is that just the herd mentality talking? Has to be, what would they have been worrying about otherwise? Antoine's people told me they informed him of what happened, so– oh, here's Chard! It's nice to see the stallion up and about, he certainly looks more healthy! But then, why does he also look so down..? “Hey you two, welcome back.”, he greets us, tottering closer. Now I can clearly see the bags under his eyes, the sag of his withers, the limpness of his tail. “Is everything all right..?”, I can't help but ask, growing worried by the minute. The sentiment isn't helped by his frown, and his glance toward the house. “Better get inside...”, he sighs. I look at Dusky, but he doesn't seem to have any more clue than I do. We follow after Chard. Entering the garage, we find Antoine discussing with Fenchone, Keensight, and Olivier, as well as Crispy. Like outside there's something... off about the way the equines behave at seeing me. “Ah, it's good to have you back!”, Olivier exclaims, motioning for us to get closer. “And it's good to be back,” I tell the mule stallion, “and I'm sorry for the delay. As you know, things got a little more complicated than expected...” “What of that new pony?”, asks Crispy, who looks particularly frazzled. “They didn't come with you?” “Uh, didn't Antoine tell you..? She stayed back there, to do some advocating on our behalf.” I turn to the blond man: “I didn't think this was the kind of detail you'd omit, considering the implications.” “We... didn't exactly took the time to go over what happened in detail, I'm afraid...”, Antoine answers, baffling me. “But I suppose this is as good a time as any.” I find a couple pillows for Dusky and I to sit while we listen to Antoine's take on the situation, setting my bag in a corner. I'd have expected Chard to get to Crispy's side, but instead he pulls a seat next to me – in fact they avoid even looking at each other... What the hell happened here? “So, I think we left off on the efforts to garner sufficient support on the ground for that rescue operation, right?”, the man asks, and Olivier and Keensight nod in agreement. “Well, like we feared these efforts didn't go unnoticed by local authorities, and they didn't appreciate that we would interfere so openly in their jurisdiction without involving them in a substantial capacity.” Keensight snorts. “And like I said last time, it's the government's prerogative to maintain order in all its territories. I still don't see how that'd be a problem.” “The problem isn't in the legality of the act itself, but in its political ramifications.”, Antoine tells the green pegasus. “The operation got too big, we couldn't avoid information from leaking out and now they know about the pony situation. We didn't plan on engaging talk on this subject with other parties so soon, but now we won't have any other choice... It's already complicated enough to reach a real consensus in our own party and between the different government branches, it's hard to say what others will do. Even in the best of cases multipartisan discussions are going to slow everything down, and worst case they actively try to impede our efforts, if only to live up to good old political opposition...” “Something like that had to happen sooner or later...”, Fenchone remarks. “We will have to see how the situation develops, but if the pony is safe, that's the most important.” The earth mare turns toward me: “Are you sure that'll stay the case?” “It should, yes. She has her family to support her, and she's a determined young mare, I trust her... And for what it's worth, I did try to convince her she'd be safer here – but like I said, she's determined.” Olivier and Crispy wince as I say that, and all the others are looking even more somber. I have a bad feeling about this... And— “Wait, where's Violette?” The unicorn's one of their appointed 'leaders', and assuredly the one with the best political acumen besides Antoine. She should be here to hear this. “She's... resting.”, Antoine answers, though I don't miss his hesitation. I really don't like this. “All right, enough beating around the bush!”, I say with maximum sternness. “What happened here?” “Uh... You've just got home, you must be tired – maybe it'd be wise to get some rest first?”, Olivier proposes out of nowhere... though when I glare at him, I notice the way his gaze shifts pointedly to my side, where Dusky's sitting. I know he looks tired, he hasn't slept well in the car, but... That can't be just that, is he... Is he basically asking to put the foal away before speaking? ... What the hell happened!? “If this is as important as it seems to be, I wouldn't hide it from him anyway.”, I retort coldly. “Get on with it.” It's Keensight who finally dares answer: “There was an... an incident.” “What kind of 'incident'?” “Marnepâle was hurt – she's alright, she's resting,” Olivier tells me, clearly uncomfortable with the subject, “but Amber's—” I'm standing before he's finished saying her name. “Where is she?” “Guest room.”, comes Chard's voice – and I'm already moving. I go through the kitchen and the living room, barely glancing at the Vallières on their couch, and I'm at the door. I push it open. My eye immediately catches the gold of her mane. The filly's laying on her side in the bed. She's asleep, her barrel falling and rising under the covers – I can breathe a little easier. Then I notice Violette, laying on the bed next to her daughter, looking awfully tired, and– wait, who's that woman sitting in the corner? Isn't that Solène or Solange-something, the veterinarian from Prades? What is she even doing here? “Laurence..?” Vi blinks before sitting up on the bed, relief peeking out from behind her exhaustion: “You're back!” I'm dragged all the way to the bed by her magic, wings instinctively trying to spread at the sudden loss of control, and the unicorn pulls me into a tight hug, she leaning over the edge and me against the frame! It's all I can do to stop myself from reacting badly to the unexpected invasion of my physical space, my cheeks burning, and I need an instant or two before I'm able to hug her back. Once she has her fill of close contact interaction she pulls off, and looks me up and down: “You look pretty good in that jacket..!”, she says, her shaky smile marred by a sniff. “Yes I know, but please Vi, what happened?” The smile's fully gone now, the relief washed away to leave only the weariness of both body and mind. The veterinarian rises up from her chair, and heads for the door: “I'll be in the garage if you need me...” We're left alone – if not for Dusky, who followed me sneakily and that I see climbing in the vacated chair from the corner of my eye. Vi notices him too, but I get her to look at me instead: “Yes I know but I tell him everything, so please just focus on me and tell me what happened.” She hesitates, then shifts back to allow me to get on the bed. I do so carefully, not wanting to touch Amber... Even though I'd have expected her to have been woken up by now. ... Oh god please be all right..! “Very well, but I have to warn you,” Vi begins after making sure the door is properly closed, “this shouldn't get out of this room... We don't want to cause a panic for no good reason, even Keensight and Olivier don't know everything yet...” “Was it another attack..?”, I ask, dreading the answer. “No... Not exactly. You see, she... Amber, she looked so tired, and on edge, all the time, but we all thought it was only the weight of that senseless mission the Princess gave her..!” Is... Is it my fault, then..? Damn it, I knew she was taking this mission to heart, I should've briefed her better before I left, or– or something else! “But it wasn't just that... We don't know when it started, Marnepâle says she saw the first signs last weekend... And I didn't see it, I don't know how I could've missed it, I was just so focused on everything else, and—” “Violette, what started..?”, I prod, trying to get her back on track. “Amber found something, or something found her, I don't know exactly, but I know it came from the aven up the hill..!” “You mean that sinkhole, the one we're supposed to avoid?” “Yes, I don't know how she ended up there, or why, but the thing there, it was controlling her, forcing her to do things..!” I share a quick glance with Dusky. This begins to sound awfully familiar... “That thing was making her build some kind of structure down in a cave, I'm not sure exactly why, but it couldn't be good..! It was using what Marnepâle calls dark magic, and Amber was using it, too; when Marnepâle confronted her, she... She was hurt...” “But she's okay, right?” “Yes, oh gosh yes, fortunately! She was just unconscious for a little while, Clémence found her in the forest during her patrol. The only thing we could get from her once she started waking up was something about Amber and colors, I was so afraid that someone could've found us again, could've taken her away..! Luisard remembered seeing both of them head north through the forest, and Fenchone thought we should start looking for her at the aven, so that's where we went.” “And she was there, with whatever that thing was...” “Yes, it– it was using her like a puppet..!”, she whispers, haunted. “It was horrible, like a walking corpse, it didn't even have a horn but it used magic on us, that dark magic..! Amber managed to fight it off, she saved us, but...” “And she's been like that since then? When did it happen?” She nods. “Tuesday night... It's been more than two days already, we don't know how long it'll last..! She almost wakes up at times, enough that I can make her drink a little, but...” “Can't the vet do something?” “She knows nothing about magic so she can't be sure, but for her it looks like Amber's thoroughly exhausted, physically and mentally, like she's just sleeping the trauma off... And maybe she's right, she just need to rest after whatever happened, that sounds logical, right..? “I'm sure she is, yes.” The desperate hope in her voice makes my heart ache – I need to do something. I slide off the bed, and go to Amber's side. She barely reacts as I lightly caress her cheek – inhaling just a tad deeper, an ear twitching. I'm sorry I wasn't here to protect you, little sister... Please get better soon. In the meantime I'm going to get to the bottom of this – it's far too much of a coincidence that ponies would find themselves living in walking distance of whatever source of magic this thing was... First I turn to Dusky, the colt beginning to nod off on the chair: “Did you know about this, or that it would happen..?”, I ask softly, making sure my tone is as neutral and non-judgmental as I can make it. He still frowns, ears drawing back. “No, just that I shouldn't go near that place.” “All right.”, I smile to try to appease him, and make him accept more easily what I'll ask next. “I'm going to talk to Fenchone, and while I'm doing that I have a mission for you: I need someone I trust to look after Amber and Violette, can you do that for me?” He clearly doesn't like the idea, but I'm relieved to see him nod all the same. “Good colt.” I ruffle his whitish mane a little. “I promise it won't take long.” I leave them to rest, and head back to the garage – properly saluting the Vallières couple on the way this time. Fenchone is still discussing things with the others, though Chard has left. My return interrupts them, giving me a suitable opportunity. Just as Antoine's continuing on whatever he was explaining, I get close enough to the large earth mare so that I'm sure she's the only one who'll hear distinctly my question: “How did you know she'd be there..?” She tenses immediately. Gotcha. “Please excuse us.”, she says before heading out, surprising the others by her abruptness. I follow her, out of the garage, around the house, and then on a north-northwest course through the forest. She only slows down slightly as we come across a fallen tree, its base completely rotten somehow, and the rest of the way to the aven is as much of a straight line as the terrain allows. I doubt Amber herself could've charted a more efficient route. The large sinkhole opens before me. Until today I had only seen it from a distance, avoiding it just in case – these things are dangerous without even taking malicious entities into account, and the old skeletons at the bottom confirm it. It's maybe not a good idea to stand so close to the edge, considering one side of the cliff seems to have broken off, burying one corner under a large pile of stone and earth. Fenchone finally deigns opening her mouth: “That's Violette's work.”, she tells me, pointing at the very same pile. “She was so upset, she just... tore off what must've been at least three or five tonnes' worth of rock from the side, just to seal the tunnel's entrance. It's certainly more effective than what I had done...” “You knew about this thing...”, I conclude, anger on the rise. “That's why you told everybody to avoid this place.” “I... didn't know what it was. Wasn't even sure there really was something.”, she goes on, still staring at where that tunnel was. “I was just walking around, a couple days after arriving here, and like an idiot I fell down there. Woke up a little while later with an awful headache, and I thought nothing of it...” Her tone goes for 'matter-of-fact', yet there's too many emotions behind her little story to make it work as much as she'd like. I let her continue. “But after that, I got this idea, of turning this farm into a sanctuary for us, gather ponies here so they may have their own place, where they'd be safe... This idea I just couldn't shake, to bring more ponies here, do everything to accomplish that goal... I still think it was a good idea. But the more ponies got here, the more there was this... this pressure for more, and to bring them to that aven.” “Did you..?” “Of course not!”, she snaps back. “But one day, I think that was around the time your group arrived, I just couldn't handle it anymore, so I went back here, to try to understand... I went through that tunnel, but there was... something, couldn't put my hoof on what, trying to worm itself into my head, and... I fled. I fled, and as soon as I was out, I bucked down the big tree that was growing above the tunnel. I thought I had sealed whatever it was, that the problem was fixed, told everyone to avoid the place just in case... But it seems like the tree rotted, eventually.” Her attempt at downplaying the situation is driving me crazy: “And you didn't even tell anyone why!?” “What did you want me to do!? All these lost ponies, brought here with the promise that everything would be alright, that they could have a new lease at life here, in safety – I promised that to all of you, did everything I could to make it work, put everything on the line! I couldn't just throw everything away, just because I had maybe seen something spooky!” I guess it'd be pretty hypocritical of me to come down too hard on her if she was truly under the influence of that dark magic, but... It goes far beyond that – her silence endangered everyone. “I don't believe one minute you didn't think there really was something, you wouldn't have gone directly here when Amber went missing. However, I trust you when you say you did your best to make up for it...” “And that wasn't an easy task either...”, she adds. “So many ponies all at once, so little money, so little food and space... Keensight causing trouble, then the blight, with all resting on my withers... I wasn't prepared for this.” “Few people are, I guess. But... Now that it's over, and that you proved your worth, the others deserve to know, too.” “Oh really, and what good would that make, exactly?”, she retorts, once more on the defensive. “This would just incite even more panic!” “Not necessarily. This community already went through a lot, they can take it.” “You don't know them as well as you think, then! Maybe you didn't notice that almost half of our ponies are thinking about leaving the farm, for that Equestria they can't even get to, or back to their family like you just did – what will happen if we give them even more reasons to doubt us, to doubt this place!? There's no other safe haven for them, and we already went through so much, we can't risk them losing their faith in us!” “That doesn't give you the right to withhold information from them, especially if it could still affect them.” “Oh that's pretty rich, coming from you!”, she sneers, bearing down on me now. “You, who knew about the real extent of the curse, and chose to say nothing just because it was more convenient for you! But I get it – that was your choice, it was your knowledge to share or not. And this is my home. My community. You lost the privilege of making the decisions when you refused to work with us, to accept your responsibility, so don't go all high and mighty on me! They'll know. Eventually. When I think the time is right. Is that clear... or do we have a problem?” I don't like being threatened. I don't exactly appreciate having my own hypocrisy shoved right under my nose, either. “... That's fair.”, I answer. “But I won't lie to them either.” I walk away from the aven and the so-called 'leader' of this community. She doesn't stop me. Amber Spire's View I pull, pull and pull, until finally luck turns in my favor and I'm freed from the tar-like darkness of the deep, flopping on the floor of my room..! The torches are glowing red here, as they should... Weak, but growing stronger... Yet blue and purple still shine deep, still burning with that ghostly light... I push the door to the corrupted depths closed, reinforce it with locks and bars... Won't let it out, never ever again..! At last I can breathe, at last I can feel safe and whole..! No more rivulet of black channeling the ichor in me, no more rattling at the d— scritch, scratch No... No, it can't..! But scritch and scratch again, at the door, the door to outside, the door that protects me, the— scritch, scratch The eyes are still here, far and away yet still connected, raging fire is but embers now, yet still alive, still trying to cross, to invade..! scritch, scra— I jolt awake, heart hammering in my chest! It's too bright, I can't see anything, and– and they're still here..! They didn't die, they're still out there, trying to get me!! I need to get away, need to— Someone grabs me from behind!! I struggle, try to get free, but weak, so weak, can't shake them off, can't— “It's okay honey, I'm here!” The familiar voice breaks through the panic. My nose fully registers the scents around me. “... Mom..?”, I croak. She doesn't answer, just keeps hugging me from behind, the beating of her own heart against my withers, the sound of her breathing close to my ears. My eyes are dealing better with the light now. I try to blink the crust away, looking at the bed I'm laying on, at the flowery wallpaper, at the suitcases in a corner of the room. Once my thoughts are a little less of a jumbled mess, I easily recognize the house's guest room. Why are we here? And why do I feel so... so weak, and stiff, and hungry..? It feels like I could just fall back to sleep for... For just as long as I've already slept, which is... ... I– I don't know..! I remember the cavern, the fight, then nothing but black... Drowning in darkness, fighting to slowly get out and close the door, then the scratching, but... “How... How long..?”, I ask, afraid of the answer. “A little more than two days...”, Mom whispers. That's... That's not too bad, I suppose, but... “Are you okay..? Is everyone okay? Marnie!?” “Shhh, calm down... Marnie is okay, just like Luisard and Fenchone, and I'm okay too, and Clémence is in good hands. You saved us all, honey... You can rest now, it's over, we—” “No, no it's not! Th– that place must be filled in, the sinkhole! We can't risk anybody stumbling upon it! That thing isn't dead, it's weak but it could come back, we can't let it have any chance to do so!” “Don't worry then, it's sealed shut... I made sure of it.” You say that, but I'm really not sure that's enough, I can still feel them, hear them, they could make me do things, think things, and I could do almost nothing to stop them! What if I fall asleep again, and they're the one to wake up!? I shift in her arms, trying to face her, and— Wait, is that Dusky sleeping on that chair..? Yes, it's him! I'd recognize that bundle of trouble anywhere! But then that means..! “Laurence's back!?” “Yes,” Mom chuckles, “she came to see you earlier, but you were still asleep.” “You could've woken me..!”, I pout. “I wish we could have, Amber.”, she answers sadly. “We've been awfully worried for you, you just wouldn't wake up... The rare times you were somewhat conscious, you were barely reacting when we fed you. Mrs. Prévost said you probably needed the rest, so we waited... Looks like she was right.”, she adds, a gentle hoof brushing through my mane. “Don't worry, Laurence will be back soon enough; it looks like her poor colt didn't get enough rest these days, so she probably didn't either. I think she went to see the aven with Fenchone.” “What!? Neither of them should go anywhere near there, something bad could happen!!” “Hey hey hey, enough of that, little jitterbug..!”, Mom scolds, booping me on the nose. “I understand why you're so anxious, but they can take care of themselves, and Fenchone definitely won't take any chances. Now, I'm sure you're famished, should I go fix you a good hearty brunch, mmh?” “I—” The gnawing abyss masquerading as my stomach betrays me once more, wailing pitifully for sustenance..! “That's what I thought... Be back in a jiffy.”, Mom winks before getting off the bed and walking out the room, leaving me alone with the sleeping Dusky. 'Jitterbug', 'jitterbug'..! Well I have good reasons to worry, dang it! You don't know how it is to have someone using your mind like their own personal plaything! And the worst in all this is that's it's my own darn fault!! How stupid can you be to not even notice you're being mind-controlled!? Oh and even before that, how stupid can you be to trust some spooky cave zombie!? Were you really that starved for magic and power that you'd sell your own darn soul for some pretty pyrotechnics!? What a terrific choice the Princess made, that even the one thing you're supposed to be good at, the one thing she asked you to do, you aren't even capable of completing the most basic steps! Ah, even worse, you managed to lose yourself in all the worst possible ways! Oh yes, just trust your compass, it'll always point you right – what a buckin' joke you are!! And what are you going to do now!? You endangered all your friends, all your community, just because that darn ghost stroked your ego! How could they ever trust you again!? I wouldn't trust myself!! That must be the grand lesson to learn from this whole debacle, really: ponies can't trust you Amber, and you can't even trust yourself! So what now, huh!? What are you gonna do with yourself!? You can barely keep your eyes open, and the ghost's still trying to get you, and now anything 'Equestria' is a bust, and— Mom interrupts my rant, slipping back into the room with a tray hovering next to her. She helps me sit up straighter, using a big pillow to prop myself up so that she can set a napkin then the tray on my lap. Apples, a banana, oatmeal, crackers, and– oh, roquefort!! The only thing preventing me from stuffing myself silly with the godly cheese is the headache spiking just a couple seconds after I've began using my magic. Gosh, I haven't used it in two days, how much longer will I have to go without? You darn magic-sucking ghost, I will get my cheese..! Fortunately Mom is here to help, so I don't make too much of a mess of myself in the process... But it's when she uses a tissue to wipe at the oatmeal around my mouth that I finally notice how much her aura wavers, and from here I pay closer attention to how tired her eyes are, how her mane and tail haven't been brushed to their usual perfection... She looks just as exhausted as I feel. Yet she's still here, with me, helping me... Even after I basically spat in her face and renounced her... How could I believe for an instant everything the ghost wanted me to believe, how could I let them put this wedge between Mom and me? They dared to use the bad memories to pull us apart once again, just to make sure I'd stay under their sway..! I know we... That we have our disagreements, but they're so insignificant compared to what's truly important! “Thank you, Mom...”, I tell her, looking right into her kind golden eyes. “Thank you for coming for me. Thank you for still being here. I– I'm so sorry!” She takes my hoof between hers, tears already starting to fall: “I'm the one who's sorry, Amber! This should've never happened, I should've seen what this thing was doing to you, I should've stopped it!” I don't want her to cry, it's not even her fault..! “You couldn't see Mom, it was happening to me and I didn't notice until it was too late, it... It was my fault, I should've tried to tell you about it sooner..!” “And you should never have had to be in this situation in the first place, you shouldn't feel like you can't talk to me if you have a problem, but I know why you didn't..! I know how I get when I have my nose to the grindstone, how everything else falls to the wayside... Every time I do that I end up missing what's truly important, and I'm so sorry, this should never, never be to your detriment..!” I can't resist anymore, I hold both forelegs her way, trying to reach for her, never mind the tray between us! Some golden magic takes care of that last barrier just in time, and we meet in a tight, warm hug..! We stay like that, basking in each other's presence, for as long as we can stay in this slightly uncomfortable position. Even when we pull apart, we don't really let go, my right fetlock hooked around her left. “Well, er...”, Mom mutters, embarrassed. “I suppose this means it's high time for me to start working on that hyper-focusing issue, right..?” I giggle at the idea. As if she could! She's always been like this, that won't change anytime soon. “You really think you can change that..?” “I don't see why I could not.”, she huffs. “Before it felt like I was always running against the clock, trying to accomplish as much as I could before my body would give in, but I don't have this issue anymore!” She says that, but that habit started well before I left Toulouse! “Oh and what about the Jeanne d'Arc assignment, then? There was no clock at the time!”, I snicker. “We only had two weeks! It drove me crazy!”, she argues with a smile. “But I concede the point, maybe this issue is a little more deep-rooted than I'd like...” We share a laugh, and— Wait. ... I'm not supposed to know about the Jeanne d'Arc assignment – we did that in high school! And she's not supposed to act as if I knew!! She's not supposed to know who I was!! No no no, it can't be that, it can't!! I know the ghost was lying to me, was making me interpret things badly so that I wouldn't trust her, but that's all it was, a lie! Then why doesn't she look surprised!? She should be surprised!! But instead she's looking worried, worried because of how I pulled my hoof away, of how tense I am right now, and– and what should I do!? “Amber..?” “M– Mom, did you...” I can't say it!! But if I don't I feel like I'm going to pass out! “Do you... You know who I am..?” She blinks. “Oh. Oh! Uh... Yes..?”, she answers, shrugging almost sheepishly. I fall back against the pillow, stunned. She knows. And she knew before today. “Sorry honey, it seemed like you didn't want to broach the subject, so I waited for you to feel ready...”, she explains, but I can barely hear it. “When..?”, I whisper. “Pardon?” “When!? Since when do you know!?” “Oh, I... Actually I've known for a while now.”, Mom admits innocently. “Between your expressions, the bits of story you told about yourself, this kind of things, it wasn't so hard to connect the dots.” ... Oh no... No, no, no, no, no..! This... this was just one of the ghost's lies, it wasn't true! But if it is true, if it didn't come from the ghost but from me, then... No, it's not because she knew that she used that knowledge against me! She can both be in the know and be innocent! But what if she's not innocent? She could cook up any kind of lie to cover herself now, and I wouldn't be able to tell, not with hundred percent certainty! How can I trust her!? “Amber, honey? Are you all right..?” “Sorry, I– I was surprised, that's all!”, I stammer, fighting to keep my real thoughts to myself. “I... I'm happy we've cleared that up!” “So am I.”, she smiles warmly... but then the smile sours, the expression becomes serious. Did she see through my lie so easily!? “So... Now that this last unspoken truth has been laid bare, I...” An awful spike of anxiety surges in my chest. What does she mean? What is she going to do!? She takes a deep, centering breath, and looks me in the eyes: “I... I'll be honest honey, it was... easier for me, that we would skirt around that hornets' nest, that you seemed to want so badly to forget and put our old lives behind. For all the things I fought to preserve from my life as Raphaël Inquimbert, these memories of how I acted, of how I lost you, I was happy to leave them to rest...” She... Hearing her now, saying these things, presenting the situation that way... Maybe she's actually just too self-absorbed to even think about manipulating me. “Good for you..!”, I mutter, sudden bitterness pushing back against the anxiety. “I've tried to forget, it even seemed to work for a while, but I can't. I'm the one who was kicked out of my home, who had to survive on the street, the one who was shunned by everyone, including my own mother..!” She at least has the decency to wince, avoiding my gaze now. “I wasn't your mother yet back then, I—” “Yes you were.”, I cut her off. “We just hadn't realized it! And even then, you were also my best friend! It may've been your sister's fault – and I can tell you I'm not about to call her 'auntie' any time soon – but you still refused to answer when I called for help! You didn't 'lose' me, you acted as if I didn't even exist anymore! I could've died and you wouldn't even know, wouldn't even care! I didn't try to forget 'cause it would've been 'easier', I tried because it was the only way I could ever come to trust again the pony who abandoned me! What if tomorrow you change your mind and you don't want to have anything to do with me anymore!? How can I be sure it won't happen again!? You knew and you said nothing, didn't even say you were sorry, just kept that to yourself like it wasn't important! I was so afraid you'd dump me again I stopped acting like myself, tried my best to fit the role you expected of me! And now you're just 'oh yeah actually I knew from the start', like it was just a big joke to you! You've been lying to me this whole time and I can't even be sure of anything you say now!” I have to catch my breath after that tirade, it... It felt good to finally give voice to my grievances, to all the heartache she inflicted upon me! B– but dang it, I didn't want to say it outright, to let her know I'm doubting her..! Now she could change her behavior to fit expectations, she could try to deceive me again! No no no, I don't know if it's what she was trying to do, she could still be innocent, heck I know how awkward and clueless she could be at times during our youth! Uuuuuuugh I don't know what to think!! A– and you, stop crying!! I'm the one hurting here, the one who was wronged!! But the tears keep on falling from her eyes, her lips quivering and her legs shaking and her ears folded all the way back, and– and why does it hurt so much to see her like that!? She's just trying to tug at my heartstrings, I– I need to be stronger, to... to not fall for her tricks again! ... So why doesn't it feel like a trick!? “I'm so, so sorry..!”, Violette whimpers, barely holding herself together. “You're right, you're so right..! I'm sorry for everything you went through because of me..! I know I'm not a good mom, I know I always do wrong with you, I'm trying, I really, really am..! But it's never enough, and it feels like I've spent my whole life hurting you, whatever I do it always end up with you hurting more..! I try to give you attention and you feel pressured into a role, I try to give you space and I miss everything, and– and I... I could come up with all the excuses in the world it wouldn't change just how awful I am with you..!” She... It's... “I always knew I should've been there for you and should've protected you but I've been so selfish and afraid and stupid,” she goes on, sobbing uncontrollably, “it was just so much easier to do as my parents said, t– to keep doing as I've always done, to lose myself into my work..! I should've done better, as a friend and as a mother, we missed so much together because of me..!” N– no, she's just trying to make me crack, all these tears are just for show! But no, no, she can't, she... I... I can't deal with that, not now, not like this!! “But I still love you honey, I swear..!”, she cries, almost pleading..! “I know I don't deserve it but please, please give me another chance..! Please tell me what I should do..!” She's extending her hoof once again, trembling, wet with tears. But I can't, I just can't..! I... I want to trust her! I wish I could! But what if she's lying!? I can't be sure, I can't!! You... You ask me to do that leap of faith, for you, but..! But... ... *sigh* I force myself to take her hoof, even with half my heart still torn on if this is the right thing to do, and I affect the best smile I can muster in these circumstances. It's not a big smile. It's small, and shaky, and uncertain. Barely a smile, really. But it's enough for her. She pulls me into a bone-crunching hug and doesn't let go, as if she were afraid I'd slip away if she did... Her tears stain the back of my mane, just as mine do to hers... I... I love you too Mom, and I want, I want to trust you! So... So please, please, don't make me regret this..! I frown. “So... It's really over, between you two..?” Sweetchard sighs, glancing back at the house. “Yeah... It's better for both of us...”, he says, without much conviction. “I know it's not what you want to hear, but I think this was the right decision to make.”, Laurence adds, patting him a little awkwardly on the shoulder. “You already have your own personal issues to deal with, and, well, I guess that wouldn't leave much space for a relationship...” “That's more or less what Crispy said, yes...” It's still sad for that foal to be born... “At least your friends will stay by your side, whatever happens next,” I try to cheer him up, “right Laurence?” “Of course.”, she nods. “We've been together from the start, and that won't change any time soon.” Ah, it's nice to see him smiling! “Thanks, girls... And I'm sorry if I... I'm sorry I've been so distant, it... It just was a lot..!” “Well I was at my parents, so don't worry, I was quite a bit more distant than you could ever be!”, she chuckles. “And I was being brainwashed by some Equestrian ghost into doing their dark bidding, so really you don't have to worry about that either!”, I try to quip... and fail miserably, as my bit of deprecating humor kind of killed the embryo of good mood we had going... At least one thing hasn't changed: I'm still regional grand champion of putting my hoof in my mouth. Laurence shifts a little against the trunk of the great oak tree, bringing Dusky closer to her chest and almost halfway under her jacket. “Is there any new development on that side..?”, she asks me. “Not really...”, I'm pained to admit. “I can still feel that... that dark stuff, somewhere in me, and I don't know yet how to get rid of it. And with the ghost still out there, even if they can't do anything on their own, if they could find a way to tap into that darkness again...” It's Chard's turn to frown. “So... What should we do?” “To be honest, I... I don't think I'm comfortable staying here anymore...” My friends don't let me mope on my own, and I find myself sandwiched between a strong, thick slice of human pegasus, and a soft, warm one of earth stallion. I'm even surprised to have a little supplement of purple colt added to the mix! *sigh* Thank you... Thank you all..! “Well, now I'm tempted to go back get my phone!”, Mom says as she approaches, giggling. “Ha, ha, ha...”, Laurence snarks, but even if I can feel one of her wings moving she doesn't pull away from the hug. “Take mine and do your thing before I change my mind.” A smartphone is flung through the air, and caught in Mom's magic. She takes place next to Laurence, a hoof extended to reach mine, while still levitating the phone so its camera faces us. “Say cheese!” I smile, as much as I can with everything that's still happening, and with an artificial 'click' the photo is taken. “So, I'm not here just for the photoshoot...”, Mom winks. “I've kept discussing things with Antoine, and we've come to a conclusion...” My ears spring alert. “Did he say yes?” She nods. “We can't hide the issue anymore, not from the political class anyway. It can't be neatly contained and forgotten after what happened, as much as some people on the government would desire otherwise. We have no choice now but to actively push for global recognition at the national scale, because soon enough things will change, may we want it or not, and for better or for worse...” “Yeah, yeah, sorry about that, again...”, Laurence mutters, though we all know she doesn't really mean it. That pony needed her, and it only confirmed what Mom's saying: a clandestine existence isn't possible anymore, and was never sustainable on the long term. “That's why we have to take these matters right to the top, in Paris.”, Mom goes on. “This is the best course of action for all French ponies, and for us too.”, she adds, looking at me. Thanks, Mom... I'm sorry I still can't stop myself from wondering, but... ... I know that this, at least, you're doing in large part for me. Leaving Coursac won't be easy, either for us or for the ponies here. They like Mom, they respect her, she's one of their leaders... Considering how difficult it had been to find a functional balance between the tribes, I doubt the transition phase will unfold smoothly. If she has to help by designating a successor, I think Mom would select Sangaree Spice to replace her. Even if she gets along better with Éclat d'Astre, Sangaree is more level-headed. “So the little provincial ponies are going up to the capital?”, Laurence sums up, eyebrow raised. “That's the plan, yes.” Sweetchard pushes himself up, looking from Mom to me. “If it's all the same to you, I... I'd like to come. Things here are... It's getting too hard to stay here, with... with everything. It would probably be better for everyone involved...” “We'd be glad to have you with us, Sweetchard.”, Mom smiles encouragingly. “Then I guess we better follow along too, huh?”, Laurence declares with a growing smirk. “You know, don't split the party and all that...” Mom can see beyond the joke, though. “Things are still tense with Fenchone, right..?” “To say the least...”, she sighs. “If she keeps putting spokes in my wheels when I try to protect Coursac's ponies, I guess I'll just have to find another way – and yours sounds better than most. If ponies aren't forced to stay here... That'd erase the problem at its source.” The ghost... She too is worried, as she should be. Mom wasn't against Fenchone's idea of keeping the 'incident' under wraps, at first. Luisard had been cowed into silence for now, and Marnepâle had accepted to not talk about it, though she still told me that even if she could forgive, she wouldn't forget... She made me promise to make sure something like that would never happen again, and I plan on keeping my word. It's for this reason that Laurence and I had to convince Mom that more needed to be done – putting her at odds with Fenchone. If we can't be sure the ghost is gone, and I know they aren't, then we need to keep them away from their power. From me... I... It's still hard to process. I'd rather think of anything other than the fact that I have been infected by this 'dark magic'... But I know I'll have to deal with it, eventually. Just not today... Today, we're together, a little family born of circumstances, cemented by friendship, and we can look with confidence towards the horizon. The struggle will be different from before, but we won't stop. We'll remind this country that we're here, that we exist, and that we have our place here too. I know that, as long as we walk this path together... ... We will make it.