//------------------------------// // Generically Transformed // Story: Test Subject // by 1023nelly //------------------------------// As Twilight led me down stainless steel corridors, a billion and one thoughts were jamming themselves into my head. Why is Equestria like this? What's this Treatment they're talking about? And why, in the name of God, is Celestia so un-Celestia? Ooh, I know! Discord's back! That must be it. However, as we turned a corner, I saw through a window the ol' draconequus sitting in a pink fluffy throne in a steel room, similar to the one I was previously in. A shimmery, seemingly very powerful green spell enveloped Discord and his chair. He was absentmindedly turning his own foot into a chicken repeatedly. Well then, I guess that's not it. Twilight and I arrived at a door. Suddenly, as Twilight inserted her horn into a circular lock in the middle of the door, I realized that there were no spells or restraints preventing me from escaping! I was practically free already! I carefully sidled back the way we came, and then burst into a sprint. I heard a "Hey!" from behind me, then a magical flash. I turned around, but Twilight was gone. I prepared to start running again, but there was Twilight, blocking my path. Shit. I forgot that unicorns could teleport. I backed away from her as she advanced, horn lowered. I wondered if she was going to make me into a magical shish kebab. "Please move out of the way," was all she said. I did so, mentally wiping sweat off my brow. She resumed with her lock-opening. Finally, the door separated into two sections and retracted horizontally. Inside those doors was a prison cell. My eyes took a second to adjust to the gloom. When they did, I couldn’t believe what they were telling me. The strictly logical part of me was saying, “That’s not possible!” My eyes were saying, “But it’s right in front of you!” My common sense added its two cents: “Eyes are right. Didn’t you see Celestia and a bunch of other ponies just a few minutes ago?” For there in front of me were the remaining Element ponies. They looked exactly as they did in the show, but way more grimy. Applejack’s hat was a much darker brown, no doubt from dirt. Fluttershy’s mane was tangled, with sticks and mud entwined within. Rarity was sobbing over the state of her hooves (which really weren’t that bad). Rainbow Dash was holding her wing at an odd angle, no doubt because of broken bones. Even Pinkie Pie seemed subdued. Although, mysteriously, she was dirt free, I could see why she looked so sad. The air of despair that rested like a raven upon each of the ponies’ shoulders was inescapable. All sadness disappeared, however, once they saw Twilight. All five sprang up. Looking around carefully, Twilight closed the door. Immediately, the lights went out. I heard whispers from the ponies in the room, while I stood there like an idiot. Or, more accurately, a blind idiot. “Is she the one?” That sounded like Rainbow Dash. “I’m sure of it.” Twilight’s voice. “Oh my, she must have been terrified. I feel so bad for her.” That was Fluttershy. “You know, just for the record, I’m still scared,” I called into the darkness. “Ya think we should turn th’ lights on, Rarity?” said Applejack’s voice. “Oh! Of course!” I saw a flicker of blue magic, and the lights flickered back on, with unusual strength this time. “Gah!” Coming out of pure darkness into white light is a bit painful. I experienced it firsthand, and reacted by throwing my arms over my eyes. “My God! Turn those lights down!” I managed to say. “Sorry, darling. I was just so excited about you being the one and all, and my magic got carried away, so—” “That’s fine, Rarity. Just—turn them down, please. A little bit.” Hell, if this was Rarity’s magic when she was weakened by time spent in a dungeon, who knows what she could do in everyday life? Rarity finally turned the lights down. My arms were relieved of their duties as protection, and I looked around the room. It was not as dirty as I’d thought. It was hung with streamers and decorated with photos of Ponyville. However, there were obviously living spaces arranged. Clearly, none of these ponies had ever had any contact with each other before coming here. That, above all things, made no sense. “So. What the hell is going on here, and why? I’m a MLP fan, but fuck! This is nothing like the show.” I crossed my arms and leaned backwards, hoping that there was a wall behind me. There wasn’t. FWUMP! I landed on something soft and blue. I looked down to see Rainbow Dash, supporting my weight as best she could. “Wow, thanks, Rainbow Dash,” I said. She winked at me. “No problem, kid,” she replied. Once I had regained my balance, she returned to the huddle of ponies looking at me. “So, for the last time. What. The. Hell. Is going on?!” “What’s that word you keep saying?” asked Fluttershy. “What, ‘hell?’ It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Something we humans say. But REALLY! What is going on?” Suddenly, I heard hoofsteps coming towards the door. Oh shit. I just remembered that I was supposed to be in Treatment. Twilight barred the door magically. “It won’t stop them for long,” she said. “I have to do it now. This might feel weird for a second,” she said to me. “Don’t panic.” “Wait, what—” BOOM! I was encased in a cocoon of purple light. I tried not to panic, but I couldn’t help it. God, what I wouldn’t give for a copy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. (1) Something was happening, and I didn’t enjoy it. My limbs were getting shorter and thicker. My body bent at the waist so that my hands rested on the ground. No, not hands…hooves. My clothing disappeared, but thankfully, so did my, ah, intimate parts. My head adjusted so my eyes were now on different sides of my face. I felt my eyes getting wider, and my mouth getting smaller. My skin turned dandelion yellow, and my hair changed color so that it was now indigo and pink. Something felt weird in the back, and as I turned, I realized that it was a tail. The purple cocoon disappeared, and I was left sitting on the ground in a very awkward position. I was stunned; I couldn’t do anything other than think one phrase. Fuck. I’m a pony. (1) For those who have never read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, there is a device a bit like an e-reader of the same name as the novel. On the cover, in large, friendly letters, are the words Don't Panic.