The Trials of Shmarity: an Ogres and Oubliettes Story

by TheMessenger


2. The Seat of the Ruler

2. The Seat of the Ruler

As much as she had to gripe about her current lodging conditions, what with the dust, the cold, lack of light, dreary dull walls, the hard floor, cramped environment, stuffy air, and missing necessities like a proper washroom and a decent bed with quality linens, Rarity left the cell with a great deal of reluctance, though she knew better than to vocalize such feelings.

The pace, set by the armored pony in front, was thankfully manageable even with the shackles and chains and the sloped floor, and Rarity, with very little else to do, took the time to look around. Just like the cell and ground, the walls they passed were made of cut stones, each one as dull and uniform as the one before save for a few minor chips and imperfections. Lit torches held in place by bronze sconces lead the way as they continued through the narrow pass. Every several steps, they would arrived at a corner and turn, only to reach another corner and turn in the same direction. Were they going in circles? No wait, the continuous incline they were still traveling down, the constant turns, they were in a tower, Rarity realized, moving down a spiraling path.

Well, better down than up, she supposed. Not having wings left her with very few means of escape if she were stuck at the top of a tower. At ground level she could at least make a run for it, if she ever got out of these chains. Maybe she could loosen them subtly with her magic, just to find and break the weakest link, then wait for the right moment and—

Oh. Right. Her horn was missing. She’d have to figure out a way to escape without her magic. Acting out and being a high-maintenance nuisance hadn’t worked, and Rarity doubted her charms would have much affect on the skeleton, if she could even bring up the nerve to try. Perhaps she should focus on finding and restoring her lost horn before making any escape attempts. But where would even she start? And what about her friends? If there was even a chance they were here as well, Rarity couldn’t just leave. And surely they’d be able to come up with a better escape plan together than she on her own.

The floor was beginning to level, and the group came to a sudden stop. Rarity, still caught up in her own speculation, nearly tripped and stumbled into the diamond dog in front of her. Once stable and having given the oversized mongrel a glare that went ignored, Rarity tried to look past the guards to see why they had stopped. Peeking over the dog’s massive shoulder proved difficult, however, and all she could see up in front was a giant wooden door illuminated by torch light.

The shuffling of bodies could be heard, followed by a sharp click and a creak and a groan. The doors started to slowly swing outward, and the diamond dog hissed and raised a paw over his eyes as sunlight burst through the enlarging crack. Rarity shut her own eyes to shield them from the sudden brightness.

She felt a tug at her legs. “Move,” commanded the diamond dog, already moving forward without waiting for her affirmation. She followed the guards out, doing her best to avoid the stares of the additional skeletons standing by the doors.

The sun greeted her with warm beams. Rarity took a deep breath and sighed as fresh air filled her lungs. It was a vast improvement over the dust in the cell and the tower. She blinked, letting her light starved eyes adjust as she was led onward down a paved path, past a variety of guards made up of diamond dogs and skeletal equines and even a few earth ponies and pegasi with actual flesh under their armor, though the cruel smirks and sneers they shot at her as she passed dampened any joy she felt from seeing other ponies. There seemed to be sentries in every direction Rarity could turn her head, along with walls that reached up high into the clouds where a small flock of large beastly birds could be spotted circling overhead. The tower they had descended was behind them, slowly growing further away with each step.

A sharp tug jerked her forward. “Eyes front,” growled the diamond dog holding her chains. This time, Rarity didn’t bother hiding her eye rolls.

“Just appreciating the view,” she sniffed. “You have wonderful, er, walls.”

Both the diamond dog and the skeleton leading her stopped to turn and stare. The skeleton hissed, and though breathtaking chill from earlier never came, she still found the sight of a collection of bones moving on its own immensely unnerving. “No talking,” said the diamond dog with another tug before turning and continuing forward.

Rarity rolled her eyes once more and looked around again for another quick appraisal of her surroundings. A jab at her shoulder stopped her.

“Eyes front,” said the sullen earth pony stallion that was suddenly next to her, returning his spear to its position against his shoulder. More guards had joined them, Rarity discovered, two on each side and at least a couple more right behind her by the sound of their steps.

“Is this really necessary?” Rarity exclaimed. She shook her shackles, clacking the chains. “I’m not exactly going anywhere. Well, anywhere you’re not leading to. I’m flattered by all this attention, but I’m sure you all have better thing to do than act as my entourage.”

No one answered. Rarity sighed. “Well, can somepony please tell me where we’re going at least?”

She got another jab in her shoulder. “No talking,” said one of the guards. “Save your mewling for later.”

Rarity glared at the guard who had spoken. The spearhead had been dull, but she could still feel the inflicted area starting to grow sore, and she couldn’t very well alleviate the pain with her bindings in the way. Still, she kept her complaints to herself and quickly returned her gaze to the front, having no desire to further test her captors’ patience.

The rest of the short journey through the courtyard went in silence until they reached the gates of a giant obsidian castle keep. Dark red spires rose from each of the four corners, as high as the outer walls, toward a bloody sky of swirling storm clouds. The warmth of the sun was gone, and when they passed through the gates, Rarity noticed the guards around her, the ones with flesh anyways, were also shivering.

The skull of a gigantic beast with curved horns greeted them, attached to the front of the keep. A pinkish glow seemed to emit from the skull’s sole socket that Rarity swore seemed to follow them as they entered the bony maw and waited for a great pair of iron doors to slowly open. Even when they were all inside the building proper and the doors shut behind them, Rarity still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was watching her.

“Achoo!”

Something besides the guards, Rarity amended, watching in disgust as a short scrawny diamond dog snorted and wiped his wet snout with his wrist. The feeling slowly lessened as they continued through the halls, however, and Rarity instead turned her attention to the new setting.

Unlike the unadorned stone walls of the tower she had been imprisoned in, the keep was lavishly decorated. The paved floor quickly gave way to a soft carpet that stretched to the ends of the halls. Statues of grotesque beasts with multiple heads and limbs and displays of shiny plate mail, similar to what the black armored pony leading the pack wore, lined the walls. Lit candelabras illuminated paintings of fields aflame and crimson rivers, of torrent seas and monstrous tendrils choking ships, of a mighty hurricane stretching down from a bloody sky. Every ten or so feet there would be a crest carved from silver in the shape of a tentacled creature with eyes made of rubies and indecipherable runes written in green running across the creature’s body. Large wood doors sealed with the image of the same symbol hid away rooms and passages, hinting at potential secrets.

The hallway opened up into a dark foyer, allowing the neat rows they had been traveling in to clump together into a messy crowd. There was a moment of stillness, no one moved a muscle and every breath was held. Suddenly, as a single unit, the guards bent their knees and bowed their heads. The chains around Rarity’s legs were pulled, dragging her to the ground, and a pair of spears extended over her back, keeping her from getting up.

“Rise.”

The voice that carried the command lacked any authority that such an order typically required. It was so squeaky and high-pitched that Rarity was left baffled when every being in the room obeyed.

“Let me see the princess.”

The crowd parted, finally giving Rarity a decent view of the room. It was a throne room, one very similar to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna’s in Canterlot, with banners of violet and of orange tumbling down the side walls. A great mural of stained glass that reached up to the ceiling served as a backdrop, depicting the same creature from the crests. There in front of the glass, on top of a hill from which the rest of the room and its inhabitants could be looked down upon, was a large seat of gold.

And in the golden throne sat a purple squid with the largest, most brushy set of eyebrows Rarity had ever seen. It wore a bright orange stage magician’s cape and a blue cone decorated with silver stars for a hat. An admittedly unladylike snort echoed through the room.

“Princess Shmarity,” the squid said in that ridiculous voice. “Are you enjoying your stay?”

No one spoke for a good few seconds. The top of squid furrowed. “I don’t recall telling you fools to gag her. In fact, I distinctly remember specifically telling you not to.”

“She isn’t, my liege,” someone said, the black knight in front by the sound of it, the full helmet giving the words a reverberation as they passed through the slit openings.

A blunt spear tip dug into Rarity’s back, prompt a soft yelp of surprise.

“Ah, the lady speaks!” The squid began to laugh, its tentacles wiggling wildly.

“Oh, were you talking to me?” Rarity asked, turning her head to face the squid directly as best she could while being forced prone. “Because this is hardly the sort of position one should take when having a conversation. That is, of course, assuming that I am allow to speak without having some ruffian stab me with something dirty, yes?”

“Defiant to the end I see.” The squid appeared amused, as far as Rarity could tell, she hadn’t interacted with many talking squids. “It would appear that your stay in my dark, isolated tower of darkness and isolation has done little to dampen your spirit. Or your sass. Let’s see if we can fix that here and now.” Wrinkles formed near the base of the squid. Was that supposed to be a smile? “Tell me, Princess Shmarity—“

“Rarity.”

The squid paused. It raised an eyebrow. “Pardon?”

“My name is Rarity. Rarity.” She placed extra emphasis on the first R.

“Uh, are you feeling alright, Princess?”

“And that title,” Rarity continued with a roll of her eyes. “Honestly, if you’re going to refer to me as such, you should be treating me like royalty. I can’t fathom how anypony, or creature for that matter, would find that unfurnished cramped cell proper for a princess.”

“Um—“

“Or is that why I’m wearing this cheesy Nightmare Night costume of a dress, as some kind of cheap humiliating joke?”

The room went silent. The guards alternated between staring with the mouths agape at the mare flat on the floor and at the squid on the throne who was busy rubbing the back of its head with one tentacle while using another two to lift its hat and wipe at the moisture beneath it. “I, er, it seems like all that time alone in the dark did have some effect. Just, well, ah. I was expecting, well.” The squid coughed. “Ahem, well, I’m sure you’re wondering as to why you‘re here. You’ve, ah, been wondering that, right?”

“I have,” Rarity said, “amongst other things.” She attempted to replay Twilight’s lectures on old myths in her head, trying to remember any mention of talking cephalopods.

“Yes, yes.” The squid slid out of the golden chair and started to pace. Every time it lifted a tendril off the ground, there was a distractingly loud, wet popping sound. “Now why would I be wasting my time with my captive when I should be dealing with those pesky ‘heroes’ of yours, you must be asking yourself. After all, your champions must be getting close by now, they’ll be bursting through these walls any day to rescue you.”

Heroes, champions, was the squid referring to the rest of her friends? Did that mean they weren’t captives like her? But then why her, a simple dressmaker and rising entrepreneur? Surely the actual princess of the bunch would make a more appropriate prisoner. Or had it just come down to a case of bad luck?

The room had gone quiet, though it took Rarity, lost in her thoughts and speculations, several moment to notice the silence and the attention that every being had been directing at her. All eyes were upon her, watching and waiting expectantly.

“Er, yes. Yes! Of course,” she declared. She’d play along for now, perhaps gaining some extra information. “My friends will be here any moment, so you had better let me go.”

“Yes! Finally! Now we’re back on script.”

“What?”

“What? I mean, ahem.” The squid raised a slimy limb to its base, just below its eyes, and coughed. “Oh my dear, that’s the thing. There’s no need to wait. They’re already here.”

A tentacle slithered behind the squid’s back and returned grasping a smooth stick with a glowing orb at one end. The squid waved the stick in the air and stabbed it toward the roof. The air hummed and crackled as the ceiling suddenly opened up into a pool of whirling lights. To objects, one long and lanky, the other small and stout, fell to the floor with a thud. Another wave of the stick, and the light above vanished, returning the ceiling to its previous state.

“Your heroes,” the squid announced triumphantly, gesturing toward the fallen objects. Every breath was held, and grips around shafts and hilts tightened. A simple three note chord from an invisible organ rang out through the entire castle keep. No creature made a sound, a dropped pin could be heard against the soft plush carpet.

Time passed, and the dramatic silence turn to one of awkwardness. “Well?” the squid demanded, slamming one of its many tentacles against the floor.

“Oh, er. What an, impressive light show?”

Those weren’t the words the squid had been waiting for, if the shade of pink it was turning was any indication. “Is that all you have to say?” the squid demanded. It pointed at the objects below. “Do you not recognized the situation you are in? How can you act so calm while in the presence of that!”

“Of what?” Rarity shot back with a frown. “You’ll have to forgive me if the position you’ve put me in doesn’t give much of a view of whatever you’re trying to show off.”

“Oh, right.” The squid cracked a tentacle like a whip, making a snapping sound. “Let her up and get a closer look.”

The spears were lifted, and the chains went slack. Slowly, Rarity got to her hooves, carefully looking around as she rose. No exits beyond the way they went in, and with all of the bodies in the way she didn’t have much of a chance reaching it safely. For a brief second, she considered going through the stained glass. Maybe she threw something first.

No, even if the weapons the guards carried could break through the glass, the opening wouldn’t be large enough to escape through, and she’d have to be crazy enough to try and disarm a guard with her bare hooves first. Her shackles and chains, still held by that large diamond dog, would have made sure she wouldn’t get very far anyways, no matter how she tried to escape.

Given few choices, fewer still that were of any good, Rarity approached the piles lying between her and the throne, turning to the larger one first. At first glance, she thought it was a giant serpent with an odd coloring scheme. The body was made up of three sections, one gray and white, one green, and one red, and only the red part was of scales. The gray parts appeared fuzzy, like fur, and the whites were like hairs of a pony’s tail. The green seemed to be some sort of outer layer, skin perhaps, that was in the midst of being shedded, revealing something brown beneath.

No, not skin, cloth! It was a green tunic, Rarity quickly realized, like the costumes she had made for medieval fairs and plays. And there were sleeves, with the paw of lion coming out of one and an eagle’s talon out of the other. A mix of emotions ran through her, of surprise to relief to worry to fear, leaving her cold. She looked up to the gray section at the top, and slowly recognized Discord’s face.

The long, white, flowing mane threw her off for a moment, as did the strange black Xs drawn over his eyes, but there was no mistaking that lopsided, bulbous snout, that set of mismatching horns, or that silly tuff of hair that he called a beard. His one fang that was always sticking out of his mouth was even visible. What wasn’t recognizable was how still and silent he was.

“Discord?” Rarity whispered. No response. She took a step forward and reached out but the chains stopped her from getting any closer. “Discord,” she repeated a little more loudly. Again, the draconequus said nothing, didn’t even stir at the sound of her voice. Her worry grew as she struggled avoiding the obvious questions like what could’ve possibly left a powerful being like Discord in such a state. Or why he didn’t seem to be breathing.

Perhaps that was just how draconequus slept, Rarity told herself. Yes, the whole unresponsiveness and lack of respiration, perhaps that was completely normal for Discord’s kind, she wouldn’t know. She turned to the second object that fallen with Discord, hoping to distract herself long enough to regain composure and return to a state that could actually make calm, rational, and above all else, useful decisions.

That proved to be a mistake. Even with that ridiculous wizard getup on she easily recognized those purple scales, rounded green spikes, and chubby cheeks beneath that beard.

“SPIKEY WIKEY!”

Rarity tore towards the unmoving dragon, screaming and struggling against her bonds as the squid above her started to laugh. “There!” the squid exclaimed, pointing. “That’s the despair I’ve been looking for, right there! Oh, that cry makes this all worth it in the end. I don’t even care that you’re getting their names wrong.”

“Uh, sir?” one of guards closest to Rarity said. He looked to the diamond dog holding the mare’s restraints nervously as the huge dog started to pant. There was flash of light and a scream, and in the place of the outspoken guard was a pile of ashes, armor, bones. The bones picked themselves up and reassembled into a complete skeleton.

“Don’t interrupt me while I’m in the middle of gloating!” the squid screamed, waving its stick in the air, steam billowing from the orb. “Now, where was I?”

“But sir, she’s getting—“

Another flash of light, another scream, another animated skeleton rose from the ashes as the chains suddenly slipped through the diamond dog’s paws. Rarity stumbled forward, tripping over her bindings and collapsing less than five or so feet from Spike’s body. The silver symbol flew from its hiding place, detached from the chain around Rarity’s neck, and slid against the sole of Spike’s foot.

Rarity crawled forward even as the guards rushed forward to stop her. Her ears barely registered the yells and screams around her as she forced herself toward Spike. The guards recovered the chains and pulled, and Rarity pulled back, ignoring the tearing in her muscles as she, a single mare, fought against a legion of thugs in a lopsided tug-of-war. She reached, stretching out her foreleg further than she ever thought possible for her. Spike was just out of reach, her hoof just inches away. Rarity called out the dragon’s name one more time and threw the last of her strength into one final pull.

Her hoof brushed against the symbol, and the room was flooded with blinding light. The world started to spin, and soon, everything faded to white.

For about a second. Then, everything turn brown, wet, and sticky.