//------------------------------// // Chapter 1. Break a Leg, or Several. // Story: My Large Villain: Alcohol is Magic // by Hotel_Chicken //------------------------------// A thick cloud of smoke filled the air of a bar in the bowls of Manhattan. The lights in the ceiling burned with a dull glow with the only exception being a light near the door that would flicker every ten seconds. A gentle buzz emitted from the lights that was almost audible over the sounds of soft music and the thunderous crack of billiard balls. A red pegasus mare and a blue earth pony stallion circled a billiard table with their cue sticks as the stallion planned his next shot carefully. Near them, a yellow mare was passed out in a booth with an empty glass of gin in her hoof. It was a relatively slow night, as it had been for the past seven nights. The hushed melodies of a forgotten pony played from the bar’s old jukebox, lulling the bar’s occupants to sleep as they entertained themselves. The sudden sound of billiard balls colliding would occasionally cause the drunk mare to stir from her slumber, but wouldn’t pull her away from whatever dreams she found herself in. The tears that soaked her fur had begun to dry as she happily cuddled up next to the empty glass, like a cat rubbing against the leg of its owner. The two competitors at the pool table stayed silent as they continued their game, committing their complete focus to a game that would decide which of the two would be paying for drinks later on. Their boisterous shouts had become an almost fleeting memory as they devoted their minds solely to a simple game. Behind the bar stood the figure of a creature that had been nearly forgotten to the pages of history, a once proud villain who used his knowledge to subjugate the world with his immense powers. However, that was a different time for the centaur, a time when he allowed his lustful greed to drive his actions. Presently, the one who had always demanded the title of “lord” was reduced to nothing more than a bartender at a crumbling establishment called “Cat’s Cradle.” The proud and arrogant smile that once decorated his face had soured into a bored frown as he passively watched the small number of customers who kept the bar afloat. The cup that rested in his crimson hands had been polished clean nearly an hour before he had grabbed it, as had a majority of their glassware and silverware. His reflection stared back at him in the glass of the cup, allowing the bartender to tuck a hair of his mane behind one of his obsidian horns. While he looked at his features in the glass, the once powerful “lord” Tirek, allowed the subtle ghost of a smile to pull at the corner of hiss mouth. The dark rags that he had used to protect his upper torso from the rain had been exchanged for a lime green suit that hugged his torso. His hollow cheek bones and sickly figure had filled out nicely over the course of the past two months, giving the nigh immortal centaur a younger appearance that reminded him of his youth. For a brief moment, disgust and bitterness flashed across his face as the memory of his brother came back to haunt him. But before he could wallow in his anger and regret for much longer, the sound of a bell drew his attention to the door where a blue coated unicorn mare with a darker blue mane stood. She stood at the threshold of the door, staring at the centaur with wide eyes. Tirek did his best to smile in a non-threatening manner to silently greet the new customer. There had been many customers who immediately turned around after meeting his gaze, losing a decent number of customers thanks to their fear of strange creatures or their general xenophobia. Tirek could feel his muscles hesitantly tense, a sign of weakness that he would have never shown back in his prime. But, with a struggling business, one less customer meant another day closer to closing shop. Thankfully, the young mare soon trotted into the bar and observed her surroundings with a thorough eye. Not a single cracked support beam, stained wall, or squeaky floorboard went unnoticed by her as she trotted to the bar. After taking her seat directly in front of Tirek, she eyed a bowl of peanut crumbs and ash that sat on the bar counter. Her eyes flicked to Tirek for only a moment before she asked, “Do you mind if I smoke?” TIrek only shrugged in reply as he sat the glass down on the counter. Without much delay, the mare ignited her horn to bring a pack of cigarettes out of her bag before lighting one of them with a flurry of her magic. “This place is very…” The mare trailed off, as she searched for something that at least resembled a compliment. “Old, worn down, a lawsuit waiting to happen,” Tirek supplied as he chuckled to himself. “No need to sugarcoat it, this place was literally called ‘The low bar’ before my boss won it in a bet. Don’t worry though, our drinks are still high quality. Can I start you off with anything?” “Sure…Gin and Tonic.” “I’ll get right to it, then,” Tirek replied, grabbing a bottle of tonic water and a bottle of gin from the shelves. Before pouring them in, he grabbed a pair of tongs from below the counter to fill it with ice. Finally, after pouring in the right amounts of gin and tonic water, Tirek garnished it with a lime wedge. “Here you are,” Tirek said as he slid the Gin and Tonic to the mare. After using her levitation magic to put out her cigarette, the mare grabbed her drink and gave it a light sniff. Satisfied with the smell, the mare used her levitation to bring the beverage to her muzzle as she looked up at her server. “Soooo… You work here?” She asked. “No, I just stand behind the counter and waste time,” Tirek replied with a hint of annoyance in his voice that was disguised with a practiced smile as he leaned on the counter. He managed to stop himself from rolling his eyes at the mare’s question and silently congratulated himself for showing so much restraint. “The boss was desperate, I was desperate, and he decided to hire me. Ponies don’t hire creatures like me unless they’re desperate or strange.” “I see… So, what’s your name?” The customer asked. “My name is Tirek, I’m a minotaur,” he easily lied as he returned to cleaning the same glass he had polished earlier. “You look rather odd for a minotaur,” she observed, to which Tirek shrugged. “It’s a birth defect. You know how the story goes. Diamond dog falls in love with a dragon, they move to the big city, and then they get drunk one night. Next thing you know, they’re at an orphanage adopting the young creature that looks the most interesting,” Tirek said as he lightly laughed. “Which just so happened to be me.” “Ah… That’s an interesting story,” the mare replied with a strained smile. A strongly uncomfortable silence fell on them both as the mare sipped her drink, allowing her eyes to roam Tirek’s body with an inquisitive gaze. While it did make Tirek feel uncomfortable, it wasn’t the usual discomfort of possibly running into a pony who may have actually paid attention in history class. It was something different, something about the mare made him feel like he had an itch on the back of his ear that wouldn’t go away. With a practiced grace, the unicorn ignited another cigarette and brought it to her lips. She inhaled deeply, allowing a cloud of smoke to flood out of her muzzle as she stared right into Tirek’s eyes. “… Cozy Glow,” the mare suddenly said. Tirek’s yellow irises shrunk to the size of pin pricks as he looked down at the blue coated mare, staring into her green eyes with a burning passion. His shocked expression slowly melted into a scowl as he recognized the sick feeling the mare left him with. “… I see you’re back then as well, Chrysalis,” Tirek replied irritably. “Queen Chrysalis, firstly. And also, I’m surprised you have too,” the disguised mare stated. “I assumed I was the only one who returned after… that.” “As did I, and unfortunately, I was apparently wrong. By the way, I don’t want to be involved in whatever you’re scheming now. If you’re just here for drinks then you can stay. Otherwise, pay and get out,” he ordered, placing the clean glass back on the shelf where it belonged. Chrysalis, still maintaining the disguise of a blue unicorn mare, looked at Tirek as if he had suddenly called her his best friend. He had never seen Chrysalis look so surprised or disgusted in their past life, but then again, Tirek could never really read her facial expressions when she wasn't disguised. “What? We have a second chance!” She quietly argued. “For some reason, you, I, and possibly that insufferable filly, were sent back in time. A time when nopony knew you escaped Tartarus, where I still had my army and… I don’t know, a time when Cozy Glow was still suckling from her mother’s teat?” She guessed. “The point is, we have the advantage. We know everything that will happen now!” “Oh yes, what an ‘advantageous’ opportunity. I mean, we know the ‘future’ and all the princesses, the elements of harmony, and eventually the pillars and those students have is an immortal god of chaos, an unlimited supply of magic, an army of ponies, and that stupid tree. Yes, I’m suuuure this time will be different,” Tirek stated sarcastically. “… What happened to you?” Chrysalis asked with sickness and sorrow vying for control of her voice. “I was at my most powerful and I was beaten in under a day. Power beyond anything I had imagined coursed through my veins, and I still lost. Chrysalis, I’m done. The ponies won, they’ll win again, and I’d rather not find myself waking up in a cage back in Tartarus for the third time,” Tirek reasoned. “If you want my advice—” “I don’t need your stupid advice, I need your stupid magic stealing abilities to get me that stupid bell, you moron,” Chrysalis irritably interrupted before inhaling her cigarette until nothing but the butt remained. “You should probably slow down on that,” Tirek advised, earning a glare from the disguised villain. “Bite me,” she hissed. “I don’t take orders from underlings.” Once she finished her cigarette, Chrysalis used her magic to fish another one out of the box. For a brief moment, Tirek noticed that there were only two cigarettes left in a pack that should have held a dozen of them. “Since when do you smoke?” “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re throwing away a golden opportunity. I have my army back, we know where Grogar’s bell is, we have the advantage. Join me, and we can take our revenge on all of these pathetic ponies,” Chrysalis reasoned taking a slower drag of her cigarette than she had previously. “As… Interesting as that sounds, I still have to decline. I don’t know why we’ve been given a second chance, but I refuse to repeat the same mistakes as last time.” “We won’t. We know more than anypony else on the planet, we know everything that will happen for the next five years. We need to seize this opportunity and take our revenge.” Tirek took a moment to look down at the changeling queen before his eyes raised to observe the bar. The two ponies at the billiards table gave no indication to noticing his quiet squabble with the fake unicorn, and the passed-out mare still clung desperately to her glass. He watched them with a blank expression, as if he were judging the placement of a flowerpot on a shelf. He could have easily accepted Chrysalis’ offer, drained all three of their magic and taken them to the changeling hive for them to be cocooned and drained of their love. It would be as easy as pouring a glass of water. However, Tirek knew better than to go against the will of the alicorn sisters and the Elements of Harmony. If he were to follow the same path he had before, he would surely face the same fate that befell him in the past. Tirek turned back to Chrysalis, sharing a rare look of sympathy to her as he spoke. “I’m sorry Chrysalis, but my answer is still no.” Chrysalis didn’t say a word as she looked at the glass in her telekinetic grip. The casual music and occasional clap of billiard balls filled the silence that had been built between them. She released a shuddering breath as she brought the drink back to her lips, finishing off the beverage with ease before she slammed it back down. The sudden new noise briefly drew the attention of the two billiard players, but not long enough for them to be interested as they returned to their game without hesitation. “… So, you’re leaving me too…” She said with a quiet and bitter voice. “You and that filly… I thought you both understood me, better than my traitorous children did at least. We have knowledge most creatures would go to war for, and you… You want to waste your time at this dingy bar? You could rule a continent, half the world if you joined me. But you’re staying here? Here?” “I don’t know,” Tirek answered. “I don’t know if I’ll stay here, open a theme park, or if I’ll just lay down in an ally and wait for a death that may never come. But I do know that I’m done trying to take over Equestria,” he firmly stated. Once again, the natural melodies of the bar filled the silence that fell on the pair of former allies. Without a word, Chrysalis leapt down from her seat at the bar and trotted towards the door, leaving Tirek to his own devices. TIrek watched the door swing shut behind the changeling queen and began to remise on the somewhat pleasant memories they shared. Even if Tirek would never call Chrysalis his friend, he would always hold a small sense of respect for the starving queen. As seconds ticked by in rhythm with the soft music that flowed from the worn jukebox, Tirek muttered the words he wished to say to her before she left. “Good luck.” And with that, Tirek returned to his work of lazily polishing the same glass to keep his hands busy. “… Buck…. She didn’t pay…”