It’s been almost a week since I went through the portal. That evening, Celestia, Starswirl, and Clover joined Smart Cookie and me for dinner. It went about as expected. Starswirl spent most of dinner working on interdimensional magic portal calculations and occasionally talking tribal politics with Cookie. Clover and Celestia barely managed to stay awake after lowering the sun and raising the moon, but Celestia, to her credit, insisted on helping me with the dishes at the end (thankfully not by setting them on fire). The whole time, Cookie just kept trying her best to keep lively conversation going. It wasn’t exactly normal, but it was nice. It kind of reminded me of having big family dinners during the holidays.
Celestia popped by a few days ago to have me check on another world they’d found that resembled earth, but sadly it wasn’t home. She assured me that they’d keep looking and let me know when they found another potential match.
Since then, I’ve continued my work as a normal earth pony and earlier today, I ended up running into Cranberry Pie, the stallion whose family I helped haul seeds with on my first day of earth pony work. We got to talking, and he insisted I come to his house for dinner. Which is how I found myself in my current situation…
“-even if they’re always pickin’ fights, I’d take a pegasus over a unicorn any day Red!” the stallion said to his wife as their rant about the other tribes heated up.
“The unicorns aren’t so bad; most of them are just lazy,” the mare, Red Delicious countered. “Besides, we need them to keep the sun shining! But this pegasus mare I ran into the other day just started the rain without so much as a holler to-” I can’t believe they’ve been going on like this for so long… I didn’t think I was being invited to Thanksgiving dinner with my grandpa. It didn’t start off like this. We were just talking about winter wrap up and then things just blew up. I can barely- “-aeus?”
“What?” My ears perk up involuntarily at the sound of my made-up pony name. “Sorry, I spaced out for a second.”
“I was askin’ what your take was Astraeus? Are unicorns or pegasi worse to be around?” Oh god, I knew this was coming.
“Umm, well…” Thinking back on it, Starswirl tried to kill me just this week. But Clover did save me so that might even things out on the unicorn front. And while Princess Platinum and Doctor Leech suck, Celestia has been nothing but kind to me. Now the pegasi are– Come to think of it, Luna’s the only pegasus I know, and she threatened to kill me when we first met; but that doesn’t really seem fair to judge all pegasi on that, or even Luna since she did apologize.
I don’t think saying that I have no real problem with either tribe is the right answer here. Thankfully, before I have to come up with some kind of answer for my hosts, the younger filly, Cranberry Jam, asks, “Why don’t ya have yer cutie mark yet Mr. Astraeus? I don’t either and-”
“Jam! Ya can’t go askin’ grown ponies questions like that young lady. It’s rude,” Cranberry admonishes before turning to me. “Beg yer pardon, she tends to let her curiosity get the best of her.”
“Oh no problem,” I reply. Internally cheering on the little filly for getting me out of that awkward conversation. “I just haven’t figured out my special talent yet, Jam, but I’m sure we’ll both figure them out soon!” She beams at me and I take advantage in the shift in mood to ask Jam’s older sister a question, “So Apple Juice, how’d you get your cutie mark?” Hopefully this’ll make sure we don’t start back up on how having a horn or wings makes you an asshole.
The earth pony family spends the rest of the evening sharing stories about their special talents, how Cranberry and Red first met, and even some adorable ones from when the fillies were little. Overall, it left me smiling all the way through my moonlight walk back to Cookie’s place. I barely even noticed the weight of my saddle bags, now filled with half a dozen full meals worth of leftovers which Red insisted I take to have with Cookie as a thanks to her for assigning me to help them with the seed hauling last week.
When I enter my temporary house, I hear Smart Cookie talking to somepony. Weird, I haven’t seen her entertain guests this late in the evening. I then hear the voice of a mare I know very well. “So now that we’ve got your planting schedule sorted out, is there anything you want me to report back to my aunt?” Celestia says.
“No thank you, my dear. I really appreciate you bringing this back to the archmage for me, even though that’s not the real reason you came here,” my host says with a sly smirk as I enter the kitchen where the two mares are having tea and looking over some paperwork. God, their entire alphabet looks like squiggles to me. Celestia starts at my sudden entrance and then offers a hesitant greeting.
“Hey, Celestia, what are you doing here so late?” I ask. “Did you find a new potential world?” I really hope this one’s it. Life here hasn’t been bad at all, but the longer I stay the more school work I’ll have to catch up on. I am not excited about that.
“No,” Celestia says as she turns away and frowns. This is weird, something must be bothering her.
“Then wha-”
“Astraeus. I was wondering if you could accompany me on a walk tonight.” The clearly flustered unicorn says with a bit too much force behind her voice. Meanwhile, Cookie gives me the biggest shit-eating grin.
Wait… nervous Celestia; she’s speaking weirdly formally; request to go do something together, at night, ALONE; Cookie looking like she just won a bet. IS FUCKING PRINCESS CELESTIA ASKING ME OUT???
Oh no no no, I ain’t gonna fuck the pony past up this bad. I like these guys way too much to fuck up their future government just to get my dick wet. I guarantee Lauren Faust didn’t write Once upon a time in the magical land of Equestria, the god damn God horse who ruled over literally everyone in the country had a fling with this engineering student... No. No. No. Oh Hell No! Also, she’s not human. That’s also a problem… even though she is weirdly pretty. “I can’t tonight because umm… because I have to get up early tomorrow and work!” Fucking genius! Use the old earth pony work ethic. Great job! “Yeah! I have to earn my keep, or else Cookie here can’t really be called Smart for letting me lounge around all day in her house without–”
“Oh, don’t worry about that, Astraeus.” And just like that, the old mare who I thought was my friend sells me out for her own amusement. “You’ve been such a wonderful help recently. Stay out as late as you two want and sleep in as long as you need tomorrow.”
“You don’t have any other objections, do you?” Celestia asks without meeting my gaze. A worried look apparent on her face.
Oh crap, I guess I just have to let her down easy when she makes a move. Or just ignore the signals and pretend like this is a totally normal midnight walk between friends. A friend who came to your house and basically got permission from your guardian to take you on said walk. Oh god, how am I gonna get through this? “Of course not. Sleeping in was the only problem. But now,” I give Cookie the scariest death-glare I can make, “How. Could. I. Say. No?”
“Great! In that case, let’s get going.” Celestia, seeming to be too nervous to notice my own special blend of anxiety and pissed-off, gives me a small smile. Her general demeanor, however, doesn’t improve beyond that. The poor thing must be really hoping this goes well. I had no idea she thought of me this way.
After putting my saddlebags down, and quietly telling Cookie that she doesn’t deserve Red Delicious’s cooking after this betrayal, I follow Celestia out into the moonlight.
We walk in silence for a while, heading towards the forests on the outskirts of the unicorns’ domain. Eventually, Celestia’s voice cuts through the sounds of nighttime wildlife and the gentle breeze rolling across the tree line. “It’s such a beautiful night. Thank you for joining me, Astraeus; this truly means a lot to me.”
“Oh sure, don’t mention it.” Ughh! Why couldn’t we have just stayed quiet the whole time?
“I don’t usually get to do this kind of thing.”
“What? Walk?”
“No, enjoy another pony’s company. As equals.”
“You know I’m not actually a-”
“I didn’t mean it like that Astraeus,” Celestia says with a shake of her head. “I’m trying to say you’re one of the few ponies who doesn’t treat me like a tool or a-a weapon to be used! It’s like what I was telling you about before. I’m always Miss Celestia or Apprentice Archmage or–”
“But don’t Clover and Starsw–”
“Like that! Nopony ever interrupts me except my mentors and The Princess.” Celestia makes a full stop and turns towards me. “But they don’t count. They’re above me. I don’t get to be on the same level as anypony else… except you.” Her eyes lock on mine. “There’s nopon- no individual other than you who I can share a late-night walk like this with.”
The only sound I hear for the next few moments is the pounding of my heart. I’m definitely panicking. Quick! Say something to get out of this. “What about Luna? I bet she’d love a walk under the stars. The moon’s on her butt for Pete’s sake!”
Celestia pauses her step, her intense gaze softening for a brief moment. Then, as though nothing happened, the focus returns to her eyes and she resumes walking. “I could never invite Luna. She sees me only when there’s no getting around it. Besides, she’s –” Celestia pauses a moment as we step through the forest’s tree line and I swear I see a faint glow of yellow out of the corner of my eye. “– several hours north of here anyway.”
“If she really didn’t like you, why would she tell you where she was?”
“She hasn’t told me where she goes since she signed up for the pegasi military,” she reluctantly admits, mild irritation entering her voice. “I keep a tracking spell on her.”
Wait, what? I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised that she can do it but, “Ummm… why?”
“Is it strange that I’m worried about my sister?” Celestia asks defensively. “It lets me track her down if she ever gets lost scouting or, Faust forbid, captured by monsters."
I’m about to respond and bring up things like privacy and Celestia being overprotective since her little sister was ready to spear me for just falling out of the sky, but before I can say a word, we arrive at a forest cottage and my guide announces, “We’re here,” with a strange amount of trepidation in her voice.
The place looks like a run-down version of Fluttershy’s cottage from MLP. It seems like it would have once been a nice place to live, but now, faded colors and rotting wood are all that’s left. Although, when Celestia opens the door, I realize it’s strangely devoid of cobwebs and dust.
“And here is…” I prompt.
“My house,” Celestia replies matter-of-factly. “Well, my family’s house. It’s where Luna and I lived until our father passed on.”
“I’m sorry–” Oh god, she’s brought us here to get some privacy. “–about your dad, you know.” I knew this was a romantic walk! “It’s too bad he died when you and Luna were so young.” Yes! She can’t think about sexy stuff if we’re talking about death! Maybe I should ask her to tell me about how her mom died again.
“Come down this way, I want to show you my old bedroom.” Fuck!
Reluctantly, I follow along, my attempts at morbid conversation doing nothing to stop this pony-minx’s determination. We enter a small bedroom with two beds in it. The sheets look recently cleaned for an abandoned house. She definitely planned this.
“You can sit on my bed,” she says with a nod at the one under the window. I comply, heart pounding.
“Astraeus, do you trust me?” I gulp.
To not try and seduce me and do who knows what to your future as the leader of a country? No. “Um… of course. Why do you ask?”
She doesn’t answer, and instead just goes to grab something from the closet. Opting to bend down instead of use her magic. If she were human, this would be really tempting.
I should say something. Stop her before she does something and I have to turn her down after the fact. “Celestia-”
“Astraeus, I want–”
“I don’t think this is going to work!”
“–to show you some of Luna’s old things,” Celestia says in time with my shout.
What? I freeze as my brain replays the past hour with Celestia and falls very short of an explanation.
“So, you knew what this was about after all?” The disappointed mare is holding a telescope asks me.
Fuck no! “Of course, I did.” I thought you were trying to get into my pants. But that doesn’t matter now, because you seem to think I’m some kind of psychic so I’m going to roll with it! “It was pretty obvious.”
“I thought I was doing a good job of hiding it, but I guess I shouldn’t have underestimated a chosen of The Goddess.”
Not this shit again. “Oh no… that’s not–”
“You’re right, sorry. We’ve been spending a lot of time together, so you probably noticed my mood on the way over.” Thank god I didn’t tell her I thought she was horny! “Will you at least hear me out? Please?”
“Sure, go for it.”
As I’m still trying to figure out what any of this has to do with one of Luna’s telescopes, Celestia launches into a lecture that would have put my professors to shame. She outlines all the reasons why Luna turning into, as she put it, "some evil pony-killing monster," would be bad for the future. She brings up the fallout on intra-tribal relations that could be caused if an alicorn, the living symbols of perfect unity between ponies, caused harm to others. She goes into all the ways Luna could be saved, and how if she does have suppressed evil tendencies, she could channel them into some kind of creative outlet. Honestly, she’s making a lot of really persuasive points.
As the concerned sister continues her argument, she begins to lose the professorial way of speaking she had in the beginning. All the while, I quietly listen. Knowing full well that I’m going to have to break her heart just like I did my first night in this world.
By the time she’s finished, Celestia has tears streaming down her face and she shouts her pleas into my silence. This is worse than before. She had to have written this speech in advance. It feels like she even rehearsed it.
I barely register that she’s stopped talking. We just stare at each other in silence. Even though I’m down on her bed and she’s practically standing over me, she looks so vulnerable. This god-like unicorn with the power of armies looks like a scared little animal. I guess there’s no other way to do this than to rip the Band-Aid off.
“I’m sorry, Celestia, but I ca-” In a flash, I feel a soft force against my lips, and her muzzle is against mine. I see the tears on her face and feel the sad desperation in the kiss. I feel her magic press my shoulders back to get me to lean into the bed. My mind floods with sensation and conflicting thoughts as I feel her tongue meet mine. She must have had some kind of fruit after dinner. Strawberries maybe?
And just as fast as it began, I regain my senses and pull away from the mare. “No!” Celestia recoils. Drying tears on her face and hurt in her eyes. “This isn’t how things are supposed to be! You shouldn’t know me and you can’t do anything to stop your sister from becoming Nightmare Moon! And this,” I gesture at both of us, “Won’t change that!”
“But-” Her voice breaks. Part speech, part sob.
“I’m sorry, but this has to happen to Luna. It’s for the best.” I say, my tone cooling. “I won’t help you stop it.”
Celestia gets up off me and the bed, and after a moment turns around to face me. Her expression startles me so much, I don’t know how to respond. She doesn’t look angry or even upset. She just seems broken. It’s the face of somepony who’s just given up. And I caused it…
I see her horn begin to glow, but my nerves keep me frozen in place. Before I have time to say anything to ease the situation or comfort her, she disappears.