“Well, that was super disgusting,” Rainbow Dash said to Fluttershy, who was walking right beside her through Ponyville.
She thought back to the past few days since they had been unknowingly called together for a date, and how all of their friends thought that now they were even closer. Their friends had told Rainbow they accidentally saw Fluttershy and her “having some fun” as they called it, not knowing the circumstances.
All of the ponies’ responses varied, including Rarity's cautioning Rainbow to be careful with Fluttershy, Applejack's being unable to say anything, instead turning away with a blush, and Pinkie's asking everypony why they were acting so weird, and none of them wanting to have the talk with her.
But they had just endured the worst of them when Twilight called them together at the castle for an unknown reason. Once again the two didn’t know that the other was also coming, so when Rainbow saw Fluttershy sitting down in the castle library across from Twilight, she was confused, but even more so when she saw the alicorn's face nervous and as red as an apple from Sweet Apple Acres.
“What’s going on?” Rainbow asked.
“Have a seat, Rainbow,” she said, motioning toward the space on the sofa next to Fluttershy. Once she did, she noticed Twilight struggling to say what she wanted to say next. “So the reason I called you girls here is because I really wanted to ask a huge favor from you two, and if it would make you feel too uncomfortable, then you absolutely don’t have to do it. So do you remember the whole incident at the date we set up for you two?”
“We weren’t doing what you think we were doing,” Rainbow Dash tried to explain for what seemed like the millionth time. But Twilight just shook her head.
“There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just a normal expression of love, and we’re all sorry that we were intruding on it. But anyway, that brings me to what I wanted to ask you two. You see, since the Scientific Renaissance started about twenty years ago, scientists all over Equestria have been making fascinating discoveries in the realms of Biology, Botany, Chemistry, Physics, Engineering…” Twilight paused when she saw Rainbow’s bored expression and realized that she had been rambling.
“I’ll skip to the point,” she nervously chuckled, still clearly uncomfortable. “So there have been numerous scientific breakthroughs and achievements, but there’s a few areas of study that barely have any research put into it, and, uh, one of those is…is, well…the sexual behaviors of homosexual ponies. So I was wondering i-if maybe I c-could, you know, s-s-study them…?”
The silence was absolutely palpable, cuttable with a knife, and really, really awkward. Both of the two mares’ faces exploded in red, Fluttershy’s with embarrassment, and Rainbow’s with rage and frustration.
“First of all,” the Wonderbolt started, “that’s gross. Second of all, I’m not gay, and neither is Fluttershy. Third of all, even if we were, there’s no way either of us would even consider for a second letting you watch us have sex. Fourth of all, that’s gross. I know I’ve already said it once, but it’s such a big part of it I thought it needed repeating. Finally, WE...ARE...NOT...DATING!!!”
“Rainbow, you don’t understand,” Twilight tried to explain, her blush still showed brightly and beads of sweat were running down her face.
“No, you are the one who clearly doesn’t understand! You and everypony else! Come on, Fluttershy, we’re out of here!”
Fluttershy snapped out of her shock status and followed the retreating blue pegasus to the doors of the castle.
“At least consider my offer, please?” they heard Twilight ask as they shut the doors.
Now here they were, outside of the crystal castle, trying to shake off the awkwardness that they felt from the conversation with Twilight.
“Now what do we do?” Fluttershy asked. Both mares sat down on a nearby bench on opposite ends and facing away from each other so that nopony would get the wrong idea. Although at this point Rainbow didn’t see the point considering it seemed like everypony already had the wrong idea.
“Okay, so what do we know?” Rainbow asked aloud, letting Fluttershy cue in on her train of thought. “We know that everypony, including our friends, thinks that, not only are we fillyfoolers, but dating one another. We know that although our original plan to avoid each other was a good one and seemed to be going alright at first, it backfired when they thought we were having a fight, and even more when they thought we were, uh...yeah. They didn’t know that it was a plan to get them to back off, and they didn’t know that I was choking on a hayball, because instead by the way we were positioned and moving-”
“Please, let’s not talk about it,” Fluttershy murmured, refusing to look up from the ground.
“Uh, yeah, right, so anyways, now we need a way to make them see we’re not in a relationship that can’t fail, so maybe we could try something else, like get coltfriends or something."
“Coltfriends?” Fluttershy tensed up.
“Yeah, so is there anypony you have your eye on? I’m thinking maybe Soarin for me because he’s kinda cute, and plus, I can tell he’s crazy for me. I can just date him for a little while and then break up with him before he gets too attached.”
“Uh, well, I don’t really know if I want a romantic relationship with anypony right now,” Fluttershy said.
“Come on,” Rainbow exclaimed, “there’s gotta be somepony out there who you like.”
“I haven’t really thought about it much. Besides, I really don’t think I’d be comfortable dragging a stallion along only to break up with them later and never have felt any love for them.”
“Do you have any better ideas?” Rainbow asked, to which Fluttershy shook her head. “Well unless we come up with a better Plan B, I think we should do it. I mean, if we can’t hook up with other ponies, how will our friends...ever...believe…”
Suddenly, her face lit up completely, along with the lightbulb in her brain, and Fluttershy quickly noticed this reaction. “What is it?”
“I’ve got it!” Rainbow exclaimed, shooting in the air and hovering a few feet above the bench. “What if instead of hooking up with two new stallions, we just break up instead?” Rainbow looked down and saw her friend’s confused expression, encouraging her to explain. “Hear me out. We go out to a place where at least one of them can hear us, we pretend to end our so-called relationship, do the whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ bit. They’ll think we just ended on good terms, and then we can get back to normal, and maybe one day they’ll finally be ready to listen, and we’ll tell them the whole story then.”
“B-break up? But I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that,” Fluttershy pointed out.
Rainbow looked her over and could see something that she hadn’t done throughout this entire thing. She thought about how Fluttershy felt, and it made her feel terrible that she hadn’t before, and been so selfish. While this whole dilemma was effecting Rainbow mostly for her reputation, it had been affecting the timid pegasus to her core. The initial confusion, the plan to be away from her foalhood friend, the dinner date, the choking incident, the conversation with Twilight, the looks, stares, comments, and more that other ponies had been giving to her, and the whispers behind her back.
It must have been tough for her friend to be put in such a position, and all Rainbow had done was think about how her friends would see her, how other ponies would look at her differently as she flew through the clouds with the tag of “gay” on her tail. It wasn’t really emotional unlike Fluttershy, but more of a social thing.
She hovered down and sat back down on the wooden bench, trying to catch Fluttershy in some form of eye contact. “Fluttershy, I know this whole thing is uncomfortable for you, and it’s making you feel insecure, but this time I think it will work. That last time was my fault, and I didn’t look ahead far enough, but I know that this time we can just break it off and then nopony will question it, so just stick with this a little longer, okay?”
Fluttershy thought for a second, considering the options, and when she did she couldn’t really think of anything that could go wrong. Like Rainbow said, it would only be a matter of acting like it was mutual and their friends wouldn’t react too much, especially if they were witnesses to the fake breakup.
Aside from that she was starting to get tired of everything, and knew that this was the best way at the moment given all the circumstances. Plus, it wouldn’t be that hard, just like ripping off a bandaid, one and done.
“Alright,” she said after her deliberation, “I’ll do it.”
“Great! And since I still kinda owe you for the whole saving my life from choking thing, I’ll be the one who breaks up with you, because then only I’ll look like the bad guy. Plus, I’m a better liar and actor”
Fluttershy nodded in agreement, but then a realization came to her. “But won’t our friends get mad at you then?”
“Not if you act like the feelings are mutual. Just say something like you were thinking it was time we went our separate ways too or something.”
“Alright. Where are we going to do this, Rainbow?”
Rainbow considered some options before coming up with a time and a place. “Aren’t we having a picnic with our friends tomorrow afternoon?” Fluttershy answered with a small nod, letting Rainbow continue. “Well what if we did it then?”
“That seems like a good idea,” Fluttershy smiled, and Rainbow smiled back.
“Awesome! So here’s the plan…”
The next day, all six of the best friends got together to have a picnic in the lovely weather. Rarity brought the blanket, Twilight brought some sandwich supplies, Applejack brought some of her apples, Pinkie got desserts, Rainbow brought herself, and Fluttershy brought a basket for picking flowers. For the first half and hour or so, they just sat around talking to each other and eating their sandwiches and laughing along with each other.
Eventually Rainbow Dash caught Fluttershy’s eye and motioned for her to follow her out into the field to set their plan into motion. They got up and moved into the flower fields, Fluttershy taking the basic with her, and moving along the rows of flowers. Rainbow turned around and smiled with almost a joking grin on her face.
“Um, Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy asked.
“What’s up?” she asked, turning to face her. Fluttershy looked nervous, eyes staring around at the surrounding area, and it made Rainbow slightly concerned. “You’re not thinking of going back on the plan, are you?” She tried to make the tone of her question as calm and innocent as possible, so as not to put pressure on the nervous mare.
“Oh, no sorry. Please continue.” Her words said she was alright, but the look in her eyes didn’t say she was fine to Rainbow, but she brushed it off and continued.
“Alright, so here we go.” She cleared her throat in a very exaggerated fashion, the cocky and amused grin returning. “I know we’ve been dating for quite a while now,” she chuckled for a second before continuing, “b-but I really, I really think we should see other p-ponies.” Rainbow was close to bursting with laughter, and the next part definitely did it. “Fluttershy...it’s not you, it’s me!”
The blue pegasus started rolling over the flowery ground, unable to keep her fit of laughter anymore. She found the mock break-up extremely hilarious, especially considering how serious everypony seemed to be taking the idea of the two dating, so she couldn’t help but die laughing.
After a few minutes of nonstop hysterics she inhaled and exhaled heavily to regain her breath and flew up, her vision a little blurry from the tears. “Alright Fluttershy, now I’m going to go home so it seems like I’m giving you some distance. All you have to do is go and tell them I broke up with you and you feel the same, which should get all of them off our backs!”
“B-but Rainbow, can I wait for j-just a-”
“Sorry Fluttershy, but the sooner the better. Just come up with something on the way there. You’ll be fine.”
And just like that, Rainbow left with her signature multicolor streak trailing behind her, sailing around the clouds, and back to her mansion of a house, ready to wait for the next day when she could go out, and everything would be back to normal.
The next morning Rainbow got up even earlier than normal, ready to start the day even earlier than usual. She still had her weather duties even with Wonderbolts Practice, but since it’s the offseason, she didn’t have to worry about the two jobs getting mixed together at all.
Today was boring in terms of weather, the order simply being partly cloudy in the morning and clear at night, so all she really had to do today was move a few clouds in here and there, and then bust them all before sunset, which she could do in ten seconds anyways.
After she was done collecting the clouds and spotting them across the sky, she decided to glide over Ponyville and look to see if any of her friends were out, and lowered her altitude so that her eagle eye could see even better.
“Let’s see,” she thought to herself, scanning the area, “there’s Derpy, but she looks like she’s delivering mail right now. Vinyl’s by Sugarcube Corner, but there’s no way she’d notice me with those headphones, let alone talk to me. Big Mac has a wheelbarrow full of Apples behind him, so he’s probably getting ready to sell them. Aha! Rarity!” She had just passed over the Carousel Boutique, and saw Rarity go out of the door to see Sweetie Belle off to school, which meant that it was still early enough that she wouldn’t have opened the shop up, which meant…
“She should be free to talk!”
Rainbow swooped down, landing graciously behind the unicorn who was preparing to go back inside of her shop, knowing that her friend didn’t really appreciate it when she would dismount right next to her and scare her. “Just because I’m not always the most polite pony around doesn’t mean that I’m rude all the time. Contrary to what some ponies think, I do have a heart.”
“Hey Rare,” she trotted a few steps toward the mare, “how’s it going?”
Rarity snapped around quickly, her brows furrowing at the sight of Rainbow. “How’s it going? HOW’S IT GOING?! How dare you speak to me as if nothing is the matter after what you did to Fluttershy, you heartless brute.”
Rainbow jumped back surprised, the good mood she had come with immediately soured by the accusation. “Wha- What do you mean after what I did to Fluttershy? What did I do?”
“Oh don’t act dumb, Dash! We were having such a lovely time at the picnic yesterday when you called Fluttershy aside. About five minutes later the poor darling comes back without you and eyes full of tears telling us you broke up with her! How could you?”
Rainbow shook her head, confused by what the white unicorn had just said. “Wait, crying? Why in Equestria would I make her cry?” She asked the question more to herself than to Rarity, but since she had heard it, her anger rose more.
“Are you serious Rainbow Dash?! She loved you so much, I could see it in her tear filled eyes when she told us the sad news. Sweet, little Fluttershy was so heartbroken that she flew all the way back home right after she told us, too sad to give the details or be with her friends. We tried to go to her cottage to comfort her, but she had the door locked and wouldn’t speak with any of us.”
Rarity’s angered expression was replaced by one of sadness for just a moment, but it was quickly revitalized, and with a quick humph, she turned, flicked her tail in the direction of Rainbow, and went inside without another word.
Rainbow hesitated for a moment staring at the Boutique door, when she felt her face pale and her insides turn in and out. “Oh no, what happened to Fluttershy? Is she okay? Did I actually hurt her feelings somehow?” Then Rainbow thought of something really fast. “This is Rarity right? She’s been known to exaggerate and make things up that aren’t really there, plus she is very close to Fluttershy so why is this any different? Fluttershy is probably just fine, maybe playing up the sadness a little, but never crying, right? I’ll just ask the other three what they saw, and they’ll probably give me a little more of the truth.”
She was about to take off when she stopped for a second to remember that she had done something very similar to this earlier in the week, flying through town and asking everypony if they thought her and Fluttershy were dating. Déjà vu.
Regardless, she flew down the street to Sugarcube Corner to visit her very pink friend.
“Come on, Pinkie! Open the window!”
Rainbow was on the window sill outside of Pinkie’s bedroom, trying to get inside to talk to the party pony, but was rejected access.
“I don’t want you being a big meanie meanie pants to me like you were to Fluttershy! You’ll just hurt my feelings!”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Rainbow said, “I just want to talk about yesterday with you. I’m not going to hurt your feelings or anything like that.”
“That’s what they all say. Now leave me alone because I don’t want to talk to you right now!” Pinkie reached for the cord by her window and lowered her blinds, not allowing the pegasus to see her room anymore. Rainbow decided to just give up reasoning and try somepony else.
“So you broke up with her because she cries too much?” Twilight Sparkle asked with a suspicious glare. After failing to get much out of Pinkie, Rainbow Dash decided to fly over to the castle to try Twilight instead, but she just told her pretty much the same story and was now trying to find the reason why Rainbow supposedly broke up with Fluttershy for no reason.
“At least she’s talking to me.”
“No, you don’t understand, it was a mutual agreement. Both of us just decided it would be better if we saw other ponies, simple as that.”
“But it’s clear that Fluttershy still loved you and wanted to be with you based on her emotional appearance and hasty exit, so it must be more than that.”
Rainbow could see there was no way of working with this one either, so she just threw up her hooves and groaned. “Well, if you want to believe me then fine, but if you don’t then don’t. I’m outta here!” She jumped up from her seat and zoomed out of the castle, leaving the alicorn behind.
“Something is seriously wrong here,” Twilight said to herself, “maybe I should just wait for Fluttershy to get over it and ask her.”
“Ah knew you had a hard time expressing your emotions, Dash, but Ah didn’t think it was this bad.”
The final destination on Rainbow’s tour was Sweet Apple Acres to visit honest Applejack. She had wanted to go straight to Fluttershy’s at this point, but figured it wouldn’t hurt to visit the farmer first to get her insight as she had everypony else. The farmer told almost the same tale as Rarity and Twilight and apparently thought that Rainbow had broken up with Fluttershy because she was scared of what other ponies might think. Ironically she wasn’t too far off the mark.
“I’m not afraid of my feelings, AJ. I’m telling you, we just decided that it would be best for both of us if we broke it off!”
“Ah find it hard to believe that since that mare of yours seemed to be so happy around you all the time, and especially how heartbroken you made her. Poor sugarcube.”
“So that’s it? You don’t think that me and Fluttershy could decide to stop being marefriends? You just think that I would have had to have an alternative motive to break up with her?”
“And bingo was his name-o,” Applejack nodded, her expression was stoic, although it held a hint of disgrace toward the pegasus in it.
“Fine!” Rainbow shouted. “Whatever! I’m going to Fluttershy’s to clear this whole thing up, and then you’ll hear from both of us that it wasn’t for some stupid, shallow reason like all of you think it was.” She started to take off, but felt herself restrained and then slingshotted back onto the earth. Applejack had grabbed her tail, again, to stop her from leaving.
“Ah don’t think so, Dash. You’d better give her some space to recollect herself. It’s not easy losing the pony you love, you know?”
At that point, Rainbow couldn’t take it, and she turned around, madder than she had ever been during this whole thing, and yelled at her, “She never loved me! I never loved her! All of you assume that we were a thing, but we never were! This whole thing was a plan so that you girls would leave us alone, but guess what? It didn’t work! So now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go get her so that she can tell you exactly the same thing I said to you, but you’ll probably believe her because ‘Ah’m afraid of mah emotions!’”
The last part of her declaration had been done in a poorly done accent, but she didn’t give Applejack time to respond, as she instead decided to take off into the sky. Destination: Fluttershy’s Cottage.
All Applejack could do was watch her friend as she disappeared in the direction of the mare’s house. She considered her options for a moment before deciding to simply get back to work.
“That pony is full of baloney, Ah tell ya.”