If Charli was being honest, she was scared. She was frightened by all of the two-dimensional ponies who looked strangely similar to the My Little Pony franchise ponies. They were crowding around her; clogging her vision. In the distance, she could hear someone's father vacuuming in the middle of the night and it was really annoying her. But here, at least, it was daytime, and he sun blinded her as more and more ponies crowded around to meet "the pony who fell from the sky". Why were ponies so judgmental, and why were they calling her a pony? She was a human, thank you very much! The nerve. The absolute audacity. It astonished the poor girl.
"Ok, everypony, listen up!" she shrieked over the loud uproar. She had already acclimated to saying everypony because, well, they were ponies, after all! "I don't know what happened. One second, I was vibing with my Spotify playlist, and then I start falling through the sky and everything is two-dimensional and there are a bunch of my little ponies everywhere! I need to get home to go on Instagram live and post TikToks of me eating cake. Do you know how?" she asked. She really needed some help, and at this point, these ponies were the most likely contenders for helpful hands she could get. It was sad, honestly, that she had to put her faith in two-dimensional blobs of color. Life wasn't fair.
"Well, ah dun't knowe whate tuh doeh fer yah," a pony in orange food color with blonde hair said, "buh ah knowe sum'n who can 'elp," she offered in her strange, hard to decode country accent. "Ah'm Appuljahck, bah the weh," she said, so it would be easier to introduce all the ponies eventually.
Slowly, Charli began to stand up, when- "WOAH!" she screamed, as she fell back on her bottom area. She was a pony too!?! who on earth had allowed this blasphemy to happen? "I'm not a pony, though! This makes no sense! How am I supposed to balance now that I can't even walk?" she said, in distress. None of these ponies would know what it felt like. They all had their origins in My Little Pony land. This was so unfair.
"Mahm, yer a pohneh it seems," Applejack declared, "Woaht else wudja beh? An uhrahnguhtahng?" she asked, chuckling a little after every single syllable. The very idea seemed so ridiculous!
"I would be a human, that's what I'd be!" Charli told the orange pony at once. "That's what I am, too, back in LA, so to whomever cast this spell on me, begone and I shall regain consciousness as soon as the apple falls far from the tree!" Charli announced to the whole of Equestria pointedly. She was going to get justice. She needed it.
"Wuh argh yuh thonkin ye argh?" Applejack interrogated, "Sum'n oot uh Can'er'loh 'Eigh?" she gave another chuckle. The portal between the two worlds had been closed for a long time, that's what Twilight had said. Was this filly dangerous? She didn't look so, but one could never be too sure with all the evilgoings in the land that was Equestria. "Aight, so hoo arr yuh?" she asked, an eyebrow quirking at the ponderance that she might be a malevolent monster.
"I'm Charli D'Amelio, that's who I am! Why am I stuck in a pony's body when I'm a human to the core? I'm not one of your Equestria Girls girls, either! I'm flesh and bone; a homo sapien."
"Wahl thahut thaer uhs thuh wahckiust thang ah've herd ahl yaher," Applejack said, her messages getting harder and harder to decode. Charli was still able to make sense of it all, due to the fact that she took Intro to Robotics in the eighth grade. Take that, Celestia! "Ehniewah, ahm uh suhpahrhehroe uhnd a mahty gud frand uhv yer majuhsti, suh ah cun puhl uh fiew strungs uhn get yu bahck tuh wear yuh came fruhm," Applejack finish haphazardly. It was really hard to tell what the girl (filly, whatever) meant when she spoke like someone out of the state of Alabama!
"Ok, well thanks for your support. I really appreciate it. I have to go on Instagram live soon, so I'll have to get back. Is there some pegasus or whatever that can fly me up to the sky so I can get back?" Charli asked, really scared for her life at this moment in time. She knew she'd be okay in the end, though. Fate and destiny were on her side; she'd learned that much in all of her years of experience in the world and as a celebrity, making TikToks from day to day, never getting a break or a pay raise. (That last part was a lie, for legal reasons.)
"Well, I'm really cool, but you're just a unicorn, so we'll need a pegasus to fly up there to make sure the portal's still open, or else you'll die of altitude sickness and will never recover. Do we have a pony who's willing to help? I, like, am busy, for the record," the girl with cool rainbow-colored hair said, "The name's Dash. Rainbow Dash," she said, smiling. Charli blushed. Rainbow Dash was her first icon: before J-Lo, before herself. She couldn't believe she finally got to meet her!
Excitedly, the TikTok girl said, "I'm a big fan. Thank you for all that you do," and took a step away, in case she was making the cool pony uncomfortable.
"Thanks, really appreciate it. No one's going to help this poor... Charli, you said? She needs to get back so she can film TikToks, or whatever the heck!" Rainbow said, with authority in her tone. Reluctantly, a boring side character pony named Saddle Sunshine stepped forward.
"I volunteer as tribute," she said, her eyes licking the floor for any spare crumbs.
"Thank you, Saddle!" Rainbow smiled. She could leave the dirty work to the other girl and get all the credit now, not that she needed to. "Well, off you go, I guess!" she smiled, pushing Saddle Sunshine, the new pony in town, and a very irrelevant side character, up into the sky to scout out the clouds for Charli D'Amelio.
"Suoh, wahl yer wehtn', d'yuh sup'poes yuhl get a buttr puhnie nahm then Charli D'Amelio?" Applejack said, performing a perfect impersonation of the TikTok celebrity girl at only 16 in a mocking tone.
"Hey! Don't be rude to her! If that's her name, we obey her wishes, and don't mock her because she's cooler than you!" Rainbow stood up for the TikTok celebrity girl at only 16 in a righteous tone.
"Thanks, Rainbow. I really appreciate it. As for my pony name, I suppose you could call me Candle Design?" the TikTok celebrity girl at only 16 suggested in a sweet, sultry tone.
"That's a great name, Candle!" Rainbow said, smiling.
The group of about 1507 ponies, give or take, had a grand discussion as they waited for Saddle Sunshine, the irrelevant side character with no real relevance to the plot, to return. They waited, and waited, and waited. One pony could be seen tapping her hoof on the brilliant, vibrant, green, prickly, sparkly, flat grasses. Did this signify anything special? We don't know. What we do know, however, was that this girl was taking an unnecessarily long time to scout out the skies, and that meant trouble in the stands. One pony was getting angry and sweating all over another, who was really disappointed in the one who was sweating on her. They got into a dramatic argument about the utility of pulp in orange juice. For the record, I'm team no pulp. Because of the bias of the author, the pony who was in favor of no pulp won.
After what seemed like an eternity, Rainbow Dash was growing nervous. "I think we need a second pony to go up there. Since I shirked the responsibility that should have been mine, I think I should go. I'll be back in five minutes or less, thanks to my sonic boom," she told the crowd. The crowd nodded in unison. How could they do anything else when taking orders from such a respectable pony like Rainbow Dash? Exactly. They could do nothing.
And so, the rainbow-haired pony flew up to the heavens. The rest of them continued waiting. Applejack began lecturing Charli (Sorry, Candle) on the types of apples that were best for apple cider. Her entire speech pattern was very challenging to decode, and Candle Design was having trouble, as her focus was waning and she wanted to get back home as quickly as possible. She was just about to snap at the orange pony when Rainbow came flying back down to greet the group. She was quite frazzled, that was for sure, and Candle Design was really scared for her newfound friend.
"Guys, GUYS!" she shouted over the crowd. Once everyone seemed to have quieted down (save a few incredibly rude and disrespectful ponies here and there), Rainbow Dash began her speech:
"You will not believe what I have come to report. Two things: first, the portal closed. I couldn't find one in my vast time I spent searching, coupled with my Rainbow Boom."
In response, the audience was very distraught. Charli was very distraught. She began crying. How was she supposed to get home now? Her whole world, her whole life, gone, in the flicker before her eyes. Was she stuck as a pony forever? This was so incredibly bad and no one even seemed to care, save the 1507 (give or take) ponies who were distraught over the happenings in regard to the TikTok celebrity girl at only 16 in a solemn tone.
"The second? It's even more shocking. You won't believe it, so get ready," Rainbow Dash said, preparing her audience properly. "The irrelevant side character we sent up to the heavens just a few hundred minutes ago... Saddle Sunshine? She's gone."