Dear Bright Beam,
I am going to let you know something right now. Your precious mentor and I recently had a major fight and because of that, you will no longer be the head mare at my school and I am also demanding that you vacate MY castle within 72 hours of receiving this letter. What happened I'm sure Starlight will go into detail with you over. Also, Spike will be returning to being Luster's assistant and Sludge will be your assistant. Oh and don't worry, you'll still have a place to live. You will be moving back to that mansion. You, your cat and those little hotties from Starlight's old village will be living there....wait a minute, I take that last part back. Those hotties will be coming up to Canterlot and be part of MY harem. I am not about to allow little hotties like them to put out for an inferior bitch such as you.
Now regarding what your role will be, I'm sure Starlight will figure something out. I personally don't give a shit what you do from here on out, not my problem to be honest, but I'm sure that goody-good will make sure you continue to get paid and continue to get fine money as gifts. One thing though, it won't be Luster's family anymore. Any fine money from them will go to ME from this point forward.
Demanding you Move Out,
Goddess-Queen Twilight Sparkle
Twibitch,
Rumors must travel fast because there is word down here that you did something horrible to Toolaroola and don't go thinking that tear in the fabric of space and time wasn't seen from here. Canterlot is within eyesight of Ponyville you know and as of right now, everypony down here despises you. Hell I've even had staff at the school say the only reason they're staying on is because of me but once I'm gone, they'll quit and your fucking school will go under unless you find ponies who have zero standards as to who their boss is!
Whatever, I honestly don't give a shit at this point and I don't care if your school fails. If it does fail, it will be just like you! Compared to Starlight, you have always failed! If it weren't for her generosity, you'd still be a second-tier princess running a friendship school. Oh well, just like what your mama always said, "Damn it sucks to be you!"
Not Giving a Shit,
Bright Beam
P.S. If you think my girls will put out for you, you have another thing coming. Just like everypony else down here, they despise you with every ounce and fiber of their souls.
Dear Bright Beam,
I am writing you to let you know that there are going to be some changes down there in Ponyville. You see, a few days back my sister and I got into a fight and during the fight, she hit Toolaroola with some of her magic and injured her. That then led to a magic battle between the two of us and the bitch actually thought she could imprison me and MY daughters in another dimension but in her desire to force Twilight Velvet into her harem, she forgot I was infinitely powerful so I was able to escape and free Toola and Coconut.
Ultimately the girls used Grogar's bell on Twilight and drained all of her magic from her. I thought all would be fine but then my treasonous mother decided that I should have to give Twilight all her magic back even though she hurt my daughter and is less mentally stable than Cozy Glow was when she was working with Tirek and Chrysalis. Want to know something funny though, I never gave Twilight all of her magic back so while she is extremely powerful, I'm the only one with infinite powers now! I did that to keep her in check. Nopony hurts my daughters and gets away with it, nopony!
What is going to happen is you, your cat and your harem will be moving back to that mansion. What I do want you to do is to continue and be the nice, caring pony that you are. I do have one request though, if some evil rears its head that Luster is supposed to take care of, don't go helping her. Handling things like that is the job of her and her acquaintances, not yours. I want Luster to fail miserably and then everypony can see what a horrible mentor my mentally unstable sister truly is. Now if the evil force is about to wipe the town off the map, then you can go out and help but make sure everypony sees that it was you who saved them so they'll think even more lowly of Luster and most importantly, Twilight.
I along with my daughters have also moved to the other side of the palace and Twilight and I will only deal with one another when it is absolutely necessary and hell, I've decided to take on handling both the sun and moon so Goddess-Queen Bitchy Pants can lay in her bed, hoof herself and wish that she still had me to please her. Oh well, the hell with her now. My daughters, my magic school and keeping Equestria stable are my top priorities now, well those and making sure you continue to have revenue flowing in despite not doing anything unless Luster fucks up beyond belief, which I know she will!
Don't worry, I along with Toola and Coconut will come down to help you relocate everything back to the mansion while Luster moves back into that castle. Don't worry about Sludge and his behavior, I'll keep him in line. If he starts being an asshole to you I'll talk to Dragon Lord Ember and I'm sure she wouldn't mind me punishing him.
Starlight
P.S. You know those artifacts that my mom gifted that school? Could you round those up and then give to me to take back to Canterlot before Luster becomes head mare? I know she'll likely have Cozy Glow with her a lot and I don't want her using those things to drain all the magic from Equestria again. My plans are to cast them into the sun the same way I did Grogar's bell. I don't want there to be any chances of anything causing me any problems.
Dear Starlight,
I kind of know what happened because rumors seem to spread like wildfire. Apparently somepony who was up there came down here and discussed it with the busybodies who go telling everypony everything and then some. I must say, that was a total bitch move on the part of Twilight. I heard something about the fight involving you wanting commitment and her getting all pissed off over it. Now I don't know what would possess you to want to tie yourself down to one pony but with as close as you two were, I suppose I can understand it.
Regarding everything Twilight did, I think the punishment was warranted. It sucks though that your mom made you return Twilight's powers to her, well almost all of them! I think that is fucking sweet how you kept a tiny little bit of it in the bell so that you'd be able to keep her in check. Just make sure she never finds the bell because who knows what would happen if she did. She'd take back all her magic and then probably drain yours and we can't have that.
Twibitch has already got in touch with me over Luster taking over as head mare and me moving back to the mansion. I honestly don't mind that much because after hearing about what she did, I don't want to do anything that will benefit her in the slightest. You have always been here for me and knowing that she did something that horrible to you and your daughters, I am hoping that friendship school goes under. Once Luster takes over, I'm sure she'll have Trixie helping her out and it will tank in nothing flat!
Oh and don't worry about those artifacts. I will gather them and store them in the mansion until you and your daughters come. That way, you can cast them into the sun or whatever your plans are for them because I certainly wouldn't want Cozy Glow getting a hold of anything. Anyway, see you soon!
Bright Beam
Dear Luster,
I have some absolutely wonderful news! I'm sure you have heard a bunch of bullshit lies down there about me and a fight with my sister. Well I did get into a fight with my sister and magic was involved but because of all that, her and I are no longer sisters with benefits, we are now sisters who can barely tolerate one another's presence. She and the girls have their side of the palace and I have mine. It is taking some getting used to not having anypony to buck but ok, on to the good news.
Because of the events that have happened, I am kicking Bright Beam out of the castle and allowing you to move back into it. Also, you will be getting Spike back as your assistant but what will make you the happiest is that I have fired Bright Beam and now you will be the head mare of the school of friendship. Feel free to fire Sugar Belle if you want and make Trixie your vice-head mare. Sugar Belle is too much of a goody-good like Bright Beam and we can't have somepony like that in there now can we.
All I can really say now is, "make me proud." I am giving you an opportunity I never thought I would but I know that if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything....you and Trixie both. I am also putting you in charge of all personnel decisions so if you feel that anypony that works there is too sickeningly sweet, feel free to fire them and find somepony who will lead the school in the direction you want it to.
Don't worry about having to relocate your possessions, I'll find some inferiors to go down there and help you with it....most likely some unicorn stallion guards. I'll send unicorns because we all know that pegasi and earth ponies simply aren't cut out for moving things in a timely manner....not to mention unicorns won't drop things and break them. Your first day is next Monday, now go and make me proud.
Your Proud Mentor,
Twilight
Dear Twilight,
Am I reading this right? You are seriously going to let me move back to the castle, you're giving Spike back to me AND you're going to make me Head Mare? I don't know whether to think you are trolling me or if that fight you had with your sister has caused you to change entirely. It makes me wonder if you weren't such a bitch to me solely because of Starlight's influence now.
If this is truly legitimate, I ACCEPT! I am so happy that you are not only going to let me be head mare but let my sweetie work by my side. You are right about Sugar Belle, she is too nicey-nice and is way too much like Bright Bitch. I am also glad that you're going to let me be in charge of personnel. I'll likely leave Iron Will in as guidance counselor since all I have to do is promise him a pay raise and he will lose the goody-good mentality Starbitch and Bright Bitch have put in him.
Regarding the others, even those lousy acquaintances of mine, I'm going to fire them. I am going to advertise across the country for open positions and once I find ones that meet my standards, the cutie mark cult and all the other nice ones will be gone. I think that school needs to be ran OUR way and that does not include sappy individuals that will coddle students that couldn't pass a donut, much less a class.
Let me know what you think of my plans.
Suddenly Happy,
Luster Dawn
Dear Luster,
You bet I approve of your plans! I was not thrilled over Bright Beam hiring the cutie mark cult to be professors nor was I thrilled over her hiring Sugar Bitch to be the vice-head mare. Now at the time my tyrannical sister was calling most of the shots so I didn't think much of it but now that I'm putting you in charge, I know things will flow so much better. My guess is that with you and your Great and Powerful wife running things, it will be better than ever.
What I am hoping for though is that it will cause all these inferior creatures to pull their students out of there and get more ponies to come there. After all, ponies are the only ones who should be learning about friendship. Looking back at things, Chancellor Neighsay was right all along, well before he became a softy and decided to like inferiors just because they freed him from Cozy Glow's chains.
Like I said though, run it your way Luster. I know you'd do things just like I would! I am so proud of you that i feel almost like I have a beloved daughter taking over something and that is very special Luster. Again, go and make me proud!
Feeling Like a Proud Mother,
Twilight