//------------------------------// // The Worst Possible Thing // Story: Cat's Eye View // by applezombi //------------------------------//   It was never wise to show fear in the face of tyranny, but I’ll admit my steps were a touch quicker than usual as I made a tactical retreat from the vet’s office.  To be completely fair, my mind was still in a bit of a daze from what had happened.              Pregnant.  She was going to have kittens.              My kittens.              It was possible that a small prance found its way into my gait.              There was a second surge of joy.  My beloved wasn’t ill!  She was just experiencing some of the less convenient symptoms of pregnancy.  And her reaction to seeing me through the window earlier?  Well, that was completely understandable.  After all, I had helped to put her in this obviously uncomfortable state.  Her irritation was justified!              I was broken from my quiet celebration when I heard shouting behind me.  I turned to look, and my blood froze.              The Purple-Maned Tyrant was barreling up the path towards me, her face contorted with fury.  Behind her, Yellow Pony and the vet trailed after, looking distressed.              “Get back here, you mangy twit!  You pungent little rat!  I’ll give you what for!” she shrieked.  Her horn lit with blue light, and I yowled in panic as I sprinted away.              “Rarity!  Rarity, please, come back!” Yellow Pony called.               “I’ll come back as soon as I’ve turned this stray into boots!  A fringe on a shawl!  OR MAYBE EVEN HAVE HIM STUFFED!”              I ignored the shocked look on the faces of the ponies I zoomed past.  Nopony stopped their holiday preparations to help, though.  I suppose crazy goings on were a bit of a tradition in Ponyville, and the residents had developed a habit of simply doing nothing and waiting for situations to resolve themselves.              Not that I needed their intervention.  I was a cat of action!  I would resolve this problem myself!              Mostly by running away as quickly as possible.              Suddenly something grabbed me about the torso.  I squirmed and yowled, twisting and thrashing about wildly with my claws as I was lifted into the air.              “Sable!  Ow, stop it!  That hurts!  Sable, it’s me!  Calm down!”  It took a moment for the voice to register as I was lifted into the sky.  It was Yellow Pony!  She’d snatched me into the skies.  “I don’t want to drop you!”  That made me relax.  I also did not want her to drop me.              “Good.  Um.  That didn’t go very well, did it?”  she gave a nervous laugh, and if I was willing to risk turning around to look at her, I would have glared.  “Don’t you worry, Sable.  Rarity is… excitable, but once the drama has died down, she’ll come around.”              Yellow Pony clicked her tongue.  “You’ve been a naughty kitty, haven’t you, Sable?”  I had no idea what she meant.  “You knew Rarity didn’t like you wandering around her boutique.  If I’d known why you were pestering her, I would have intervened on your behalf.  You should have told me, Sable.”              Oh.  Well, maybe she was right.  It wasn't a weakness to get help from friends.  Perhaps it had been a mistake not to seek her aid.              She sighed.  “Don’t worry, I’ll make this better.  Oh! It might have to be in a few days, though,” she sounded ashamed.  “Because I have to… because I’ll be…”              Oh.  The festivities.  I meowed.              “Thank you for being so understanding.  And I do hope you’ll forgive Rarity for her behavior.”              Meow!              “No, she wasn’t actually going to skin you!  She was kidding!”              Mrow?              “Well, she was.  Rarity’s usually very sweet and kind.  You’ve just started off on the wrong hoof with her.”              Hiss?!              “Try to consider things from her perspective.  She didn’t know why you were sneaking about her boutique.  Sometimes strange cats don’t get along, and she thought you were there to hurt or fight with Opal.”              Meow!              “And then when Opal turned up pregnant, well, Rarity assumed the worst, simply because of her impression of you.”              Mrwor?              “Well, she thinks you’re not good enough for her Opal.” Meww? “You know how Rarity is. You could stand to bathe more often.  It might go a long way to…”              HISS!              “Yes, I know how you feel about that! Sable!  Hold still so I don’t drop you!  Stop squirming!”              Mew…              “I’m sorry about that, Sable.  I’ll be sure to speak with her as soon as things have calmed down a bit.  I promise, once this is all over you’ll be the best of friends with Rarity!”              …hiss.              “Oh, don’t be such a grump.  Have some faith.  Opalescence loves Rarity, so any chance you have of a long and healthy relationship with your lady love means you’ll have to find a way to get along.”              We touched down just outside Yellow Pony’s house.  The door guards were still in place, and Mister Swampford bounced up to open the door.              “Now, I’m going to go hide inside until about two days from now,” Yellow Pony said.  “You’re welcome to come hide with me if you want, but I’d rather not open the door for at least forty eight hours.” I yawned, and turned my head with disinterest.  “And I don’t want you going to bother Rarity!” she commanded.  “Opal will be spending the night at Doctor Fauna’s, and you’re not to bother her, either.  She needs some rest after all the stress you and Rarity put her through today.”              I made to stalk off, but she snatched me with a wing.              “I want a promise, Sable.  You won’t bother Rarity or Opal.  At least not until I have a chance to speak with Rarity.  Okay?”  Her eyes bored into me, and I felt like a very tiny cat indeed. I meowed quietly, and she nodded.  “Good.  Now be a good cat for the next few days, and we’ll have this all sorted out after N-nightmare Night.”              She waved goodnight to me, and I stood and watched as her guards closed the door behind her.  The rabbit even made some sort of gesture at me, pointing at his eyes, and then at me with two little claws.  I didn’t understand.  Was it supposed to be some sort of threat?  I slowly turned my back on the rabbit and sauntered off down the path.              I decided to keep clear of Ponyville entirely, just to be safe.  Perhaps Winona would let me spend the night in her family’s barn?  It was as good a plan as any.  Besides, it was always nice to share good news with a friend.  Winona would be suitably excited to hear about my impending fatherhood.  It meant celebratory licking, and dogbreath-flavored saliva, but these were the prices I paid for friendship.              By this time, the afternoon sun was just past its apex, and the shadows of the trees around me were just barely starting to lengthen.  It was just warm enough that I wanted to stop, find a sunny spot, and let the warmth seep into my black fur.  I began looking for a likely tree to spend a few hours when I smelled it.              Just as I found the perfect tree, a rancid stench floated from the forest.  I paused, sniffing deeply, and my fur stood on end.  I knew that smell.  Timberwolves.              I leapt off the path and into the underbrush of the woods, shrinking down low with my ears perked up.  I listened for several minutes for the telltale creak of wood, the thudding, hollow claw steps.  There was nothing.  I began to creep along, inch by inch, through the thick brush.  Thorns and twigs snagged on my fur, but I ignored them.  If there were timberwolves out, I didn’t want to be caught out in the open.              I wondered about the timberwolf trap the Orange Pony had been speaking about.  Maybe that’s why I was smelling them.  I hoped it worked; it would be a true shame if the pony’s celebration was interrupted by the foul creatures.              I was brought up short when I heard noises up ahead.  But it wasn’t the sounds of a timberwolf.  It was someone calling for help!  The voice was weak, but my keen ears picked it out easily over the ambient forest noises.              I took a brief moment to consider my choices.  There were timberwolves about, but also an innocent in distress!  A hero had only one choice, really.  I leapt out of my hiding spot, dashing towards the sounds.              The cries were coming from a clearing, perhaps a quarter mile from the path.  I wove through bushes and branches.  All the while the smell grew stronger.  Finally I found what I was looking for.              It was a pit, probably four or five pony lengths across, and two deep.  Lining the bottom was a viscous blue fluid that was scattered with bits of wood and leaves, the remains of at least one timberwolf that had fallen into the pit.  There was also a foal.  It was the foal from before.              He appeared injured, thrashing about in the potion meant to sap timberwolves of their magic.  I meowed to get his attention, and he looked up weakly.              “Mister… Cat?” he rasped.  “I didn’t think this potion would hurt me, because I’m an Earth pony.  But it’s sapping my strength, too.  Um, Earth pony magic, or something like that.  I can barely move, and I might have sprained my hoof.  Can you get help?”              I meowed confidently.  It wasn’t my usual duty, but an adventurer always stood ready to do whatever fate called him to do!              “Thanks, Mister Cat.”  I gave him one last confident glance before dashing back towards Ponyville.               Now, there was not only the stench, but signs of the timberwolves’ passing.  Claw prints dotted the forest floor, and nearby branches were torn and broken.  I let my determination drown out my fear, and my pounding heart beat a cadence for my running paws. The timberwolves could spring out at any second.              I found the main path and turned towards Yellow Pony’s cottage.  It would be difficult to convince her to leave her cottage, but she was the closest pony.  I only hoped her door guards would listen.              The more I thought about it, though, the more nervous I became.  Yellow Pony may have been the closest pony, but she certainly wasn’t the best equipped to deal with timberwolves.  Perhaps I should…              I rounded a corner on the path and skidded to a halt.  There, in the middle of the path, coming my direction, was the Tyrant.              “It’s you,” she snarled in disgust, and I arched my back, hissing.  “Oh, you can skip the theatrics, you loathsome twerp.  I’m not going to skin you.”  I relaxed a bit.  “Out of my way, creature.  Oh, and if you were thinking of bothering Fluttershy, don’t.  Something came up with Harry, and she’s decided to spend Nightmare Night hiding in the bear’s den.”              I didn’t actually know where the bear lived.  This was bad.  Really bad.  I didn’t have anyone I could go to for help.  I meowed my distress, and the Tyrant sniffed.              “Just as well.  The poor dear doesn’t need somepony like you bothering her right now, with all the stress of the holiday going on.”              I was struck with an idea.  A sudden burst of disgusting inspiration.  I darted towards the Tyrant, yowling.              “What are you… get away from me, you foul beast!” she screeched, dancing on her hooves to avoid me.  I tried to herd her, pushing her in the direction of the forest.  “What are you doing, you creep?  Don’t make me do something we’ll both regret!”  Her horn lit with blue light, and a tree branch filled with leaves floated in from the forest.              She swung the branch at me, and I dodged backwards, yowling angrily.  The Tyrant didn’t relent, frantically swishing the branch back and forth, advancing with each swing.  I leapt backwards, hissing and swiping at the branch.  My attempts to herd the cursed pony were a complete failure.              “Shoo!  Shoo!  I have better things to do than be hounded by some homeless stray!” She yelped as she pushed me back.  I was growing desperate.  I sprinted to the other side, in the direction of the trap, and yowled at her.              “Hmph.  Very well, then,” she said, tossing her mane, before turning her back and continuing down the path.  No!  That was wrong!  I yowled loudly.  “Whatever it is, I don’t care!”  I ran after her, meowing and growling.  She spun.              “What is your problem, creature?!” she yelled.  “I’m doing my best to be calm and rational, and not beat you like a rug for what you did to my dear Opalescence, but you’re making me doubt my restraint!”              I tried to convey my urgency as best I could, meowing at her, then glancing back towards the forest.  I did it several times, but the Tyrant simply sighed and turned around again.              “I simply can’t even deal with you right now,” she huffed.              There was one last idea.  One last thought, horrifying as it may be.  Even I shivered to think of it.  The repercussions would be huge.  I probably wouldn’t survive.  But I had a duty.              I broke into a run, moving as silently as I could, and the Tyrant didn’t turn until it was too late.  I coiled my legs for a mighty leap and soared through the air, landing gracefully on top of the Tyrant’s back.              “What do you think… OW!” she shrieked, jerking about as I had to dig in just a bit with my claws to maintain my position.  “You monster!  What has gotten into you!”              I actually felt bad for the Tyrant.  I didn’t desire to injure her at all.  But I needed a few seconds to complete my brilliant plan.  I made a sound as I contracted my stomach muscles, a deep sort of grunt that originated in the back of my throat.  The Tyrant froze, her face cold with horror as she looked back at me.              “No.  Don’t you dare.  Don’t you even think of it, you horrifying little worm!”              I made the sound again, stretching out my neck.  Panic flooded the Tyrant’s features.              “You slimy little wretch!  I have a cat, I know what that awful sound means!”  She began to buck, jerking her back wildly in the air.  I flexed my claws deeper into her fur and flesh, hanging on as tightly as I could.  I needed just a tiny bit longer.  “If you so much as…”              I wretched a third time, my stomach squeezing again as my throat ejected a large, steaming hairball directly on the back of the Tyrant’s perfect mane.  She froze, and I quickly leapt down onto the ground, watching her warily.  It was as if she’d been struck by the gaze of a cockatrice.              No, that wasn’t quite accurate.  She wasn’t completely still.  She was trembling.  Vibrating.              “I’m… going to… MURDER YOU!”  Her shriek tore through the air, and I could have sworn that a hundred birds took flight as the shrill fury of her voice cut through the forest.  I ran to the tree line, pausing to make sure she was turning around.  She was. In fact, she was already practically on top of me.  Her eyes burned with the threat of violence.              “A belt is too good for you!  I’m going to turn you into A RUG!”  I dashed through the trees, and she followed right behind.  Rocks and branches, glowing with blue magic, shot after me.  Most barely missed; but a few struck my hindquarters as I fled.  “And not a pretty rug, or a fashionable one!  I’m going to dye your fur something tacky.  CLASHING COLORS!  BROWN AND PINK TIE DYE!  TROPICAL THEMED PLAID!”              I wasn’t quite sure what she was talking about, but the hatred in her voice was clear.  And she was following me, which was the point.              It was then that the flaw in my plan occurred to me.  Sure, she’d be able to rescue the foal, but all the noise she was making might draw the timberwolves.  I set it aside for now; there was nothing I could do about that for the time being.              I burst into the clearing with the pit, running past it with a glance down at the foal inside.  He appeared unconscious, as if the potion at the bottom was sapping his strength.  I ran to the other side, pausing. “—and afterwards, I’ll put you through a fine sieve!  That way there’s no piece of you left large enough to—“  The Tyrant came up short at the edge of the pit.  I meowed plaintively as I looked down at the foal inside.  “Oh.  OH!”  I watched as the light of comprehension went on in the Tyrant’s eyes.  “I—“ I never had time to hear what she was going to say.  The clearing was suddenly thick with the stench of timberwolf breath.  I yowled in warning, and the Tyrant ran over, planting herself between me and the shadowed woods. “I understand, cat,” she whispered.  “I know what that smell is.  Stay behind me.” The monsters burst into the clearing in a shower of splinters.  There were two of the beasts, and their roars made both of us flinch.  The Tyrant covered her ears. Her horn ignited with blue fire, and she shot a beam of light, not at the monsters, but high into the sky.  A signal flare!  I didn’t have time to be impressed, though, because the timberwolves lunged at her. “If that pit’s what I think it is, cat, I can’t levitate him out with my magic!” she shouted as she jumped back.  The timberwolves’ claws swiped through the air, catching a few strands of purple mane.  “I need you to find a large branch!  Long enough to reach the bottom of the pit!” I meowed my agreement, scouring the edge of the clearing for an available branch.  Meanwhile the Tyrant was firing beams of blue force at the monsters.  Each beam knocked a few bits off the wolves, but it wasn’t enough.  Soon enough the creatures were beginning to flank her. I found a likely branch, and seized it with my foreclaws.  I scrambled at the dirt with my hind claws, dragging it over to the pit.  It took far too long, and behind me I heard the sounds of roaring timberwolves and bursting magic. “Cat?  I really do think you should hurry.  I don’t know how much longer I can…” the Tyrant hissed in pain as she failed to dodge a timberwolf’s swipe.  A shallow trio of red lines sliced across her shoulder.  “Oh, how dare you?!” It seemed that injuring the Tyrant only made her angrier.  That may be useful for future encounters.  I shoved the thicker end of the branch into the pit, making a narrow ramp of sorts.  Then I leapt down. The magic-sapping slime in the bottom of the pit felt cool on my paws, like mud.  I didn’t feel any different; a cat’s magic was unlike pony or timberwolf magic, after all.  I dashed over and pawed at the foal’s face. “M-mister Cat?  Wha…” the colt whispered.  I nudged him hard with my face.  “I’m so tired.”  I pushed harder, pushing towards the makeshift ramp I’d made with the larger branch.  He glanced over.  “I don’t know if I can…” Heroes didn’t quit.  I meowed loudly, shoving my head under his barrel to help him lift himself. “Okay, I’m trying, Mister Cat,” he said.  I helped him to his hooves, then ran behind, pushing him with my head towards the branch.  I risked a glance up at the fight.  One of the timberwolves was down to only three legs, and another was missing chunks of his jaw, but they were still surrounding the Tyrant, who was desperately dodging their swipes while trying to fire back with her magical blasts. “Oh dear,” the colt whispered, pausing.  I shoved again.  “Okay, okay, I’m going.”  With shaky hooves he began to balance as he climbed up the ramp. Ponies were not suited to careful balance, and the colt was rather weak.  He stumbled awkwardly up the ramp.  I leapt out of the pit, scrambling down the ramp so I could help him from the front.  Twice I had to seize the foal in my claws, digging sharply into his flesh so I could steady him and help him up.  He flopped on the ground, just outside the pit, panting with effort. I yowled angrily, shoving at his flanks again.  With a grunt, he got the message. “Pipsqueak, darling!  You have to get up and run!” A blast of magic struck one of the creatures, throwing him off balance as one of his hind paws slipped into the pit.  The monster stumbled back, letting out a panicked yelp as he fell into the trap.  He burst into a dozen pieces of wooden shrapnel as soon as he hit the goo at the bottom.  The Tyrant gave out a shout of victory, just as a claw slammed into her head, tossing her to the ground.  I dashed over, lunging at the monster’s closest forepaw and latching on.  My claws and teeth scratched at the wood, and the monster held up his paw, giving an amused sort of grunt as he tossed me aside with embarrassing ease.  I sailed through the air and struck hard against a tree branch.   The last thing I saw before I blacked out was the Tyrant, rearing on her forehooves to buck the timberwolf I’d distracted into the pit.