My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic
Pony POV Series
Mind Games Part 1
She had escaped... again. Normally, I already knew that by the time the doctors told me. She always came here, always treating it like a visit. As long as she got the adequate time with myself or Diamond Tiara she escaped in the first place for, she went along peacefully with the doctors when they arrived.
I was genuinely shocked when the doctors arrived looking for her, and I had to explain that I hadn't seen her. Naturally we checked my bedroom, Diamond Tiara's, and every inch of the household. Everywhere. Even as... cunning as she could be at times, our search was one she couldn't have avoided...
The doctors had staked out our home for hours, and the next day. Finally they reluctantly concluded she wasn't coming or was unable to come, and began scouring the way the griffon flies from our home to the asylum. I was instructed to inform the authorities immediately if she arrived.
I didn't think it was possible for this house to feel more hollow. Without diamonds or gold in my company, I suddenly felt like a pauper. At least I always knew where she was before! What was left of her at least. The broken thing inhabiting my princess' body, if she could by miracle of miracles be saved and was herself again, at least I'd know where to find her. And, if not, her broken hollow shell was where I could keep an eye on it.
Now she was just... gone. Like a ghost. Like Diamond, it was like some great shadow had swooped down and taken them away. No I don't think it was the tyrant, I'd put nothing past her, but if it was she'd have simply taken them and have told me so by now, throwing legal mumbo jumbo in my face. The chaos monster? Don't be absurd, even if the tyrant was foolish enough to release it to distract from her own evil, that doesn't fit its behavior at all.
What kind of sick game is this? First my wife becomes that... that, mad pony. Then I find out my daughter has been acting like those narwhal elitists, then she vanishes, and THEN I learned she had fought with her best friend. Was I that much a foreigner to my daughter's world?
And the shadow of my wife disappears. Some thugs could be having their way with her right now!
That... that thi-, my wife. My wife escaped due to totally incompetent morons who were supposed to be keeping her from hurting herself! I wonder why more of their patients don't plague Ponyville! If this was supposed to be their best then I dare say it is not good enough!
I'd have had her transferred to a new ward in Manehatten or Phillydelphia but... but at least this way I'd always know where she'd be when she escapes.
Either of my princesses could be in the hooves of degenerates or the jaws of monsters!
A black veil fell over the hollowed out castle of our fairytale.
How can I call her a hollow shell when she kept escaping just to visit us? I always felt she was just going through the motions. I cringed each time she hugged Tiara, always scared at what she might do next. If she'd do it again. I didn't dare do anything to provoke her.
She acted so normal during those visits, I could even dare to think she was herself again. But the look in her eyes, seeing only what she could see, the way she moved, so graceful yet, a tenseness whenever she stood still. Sometimes I could almost imagine that my real wife was somewhere in there, calling out from some deep pit.
The staff say I'm sleeping more and eating less. Sigh. Rich's Barnyard Bargains doesn't run itself. I couldn't afford to sit on my flanks and put innocent ponies out of work.
I don't think my hooves have ever felt so heavy.
What good is a prince without his princess or his little princess?
The last light had gone out in this house. There wasn't a single less pony in my home since my little princess had run-runa, runaw-, had gone missing. But that didn't stop it and me from feeling emptier.
As for the Apples and myself, it's business as normal. Though Granny Smith did extract from me an apology for throwing her granddaughter out of my house. And as a gentlestallion I had no choice but to comply.
That old lady is shrewd and takes no lip from nopony. I pity the fool who mistakes her for senile. She is easily the world's second most wonderful mare. Maybe I should have had Diamond spend more time at the Apples' farm to teach her to appreciate hard work, despite what my daughter thought, Granny Smith's youngest granddaughter, despite being the same age as my Diamond, does more work in a day than many adults. Sometimes I think Granny Smith should have a sledge hammer for her cutie mark rather than an apple pie, not that she needed it, the Apples enjoy their work heartedly, something I very much respect.
I don't know where the fanciful rumor started that I disliked Cutie Marks. My wife has always had a strange aversion to them but it was a simple quirk like all ponies have rather than some crippling flaw.
The day of Princess Gaia? No I suppose I haven't talked about that in my previous interview. What do you wish for me to say? That I loath her for imposing her will upon innocent ponies? That I love her for curing my staff and one colt of the damage done to them on the day of the chaos monster?
I don't care. Why should I care whether it becomes one tyrant at the top or three, whether a feather duster breaks the narwhal's system and goes from an enforcer to a ruler?
That day? Yes yes I suppose I am dodging the question I suppose. I apologize. A gentlestallion should not do so on so important a question, nor should he witlessly repeat himself.
This will be private? Thank you.
It was wonderful. Absolutely positively perfectly wonderful!
Reliving an iteration of our first meeting, that golden moment where we connected against all odds. And, I feel so disgusted with myself, being made a creature from fantasy, then a feather duster, then a narwhal, and enjoying every moment of it. Every moment was wonderful, because she was there to enjoy it with me! We could have been Diamond Dogs and it would have still been magical! If given the bargain, I would have ACCEPTED being a Diamond Dog if I could have finally had my real wife back! Not some broken thing with her face.
Did I have fun with the other, the other foals that day? Yes, yes I did.
Princess Gaia, Miss Fluttershy's plan of paradise for a day was fumbled by the tyrant, so says the papers the tyrant has been trying to keep everypony from reading.
She isn't like other feather-dusters, she doesn't look down on Earth Ponies figuratively and literally.
So yes. I was sorry when Princess Gaia's day ended. When... when Miss Fluttershy was exorcised of the Nightmare's spirit.
I was happy that day. My only regret is that Diamond Tiara wasn't there to share it with us. If she was, I'd have died to protect that version of things.
A fortune is a poor substitute for those you love. I'd have given up half my fortune for just keeping her an innocent filly who I would have cared for and protected like a second daughter, who I'd protect from the monsters and raise to be a fine mare, even that version of her is better than none.
Anything, anything has to be better than being trapped under layers upon layers of that creature's insanity. I'm sorry, let me get a tissue.
I was grateful for any company.
Ever since reliving that one beautiful day, even the vicarious mares I found were shallow, no they were always shallow imitations, but now I couldn't even bring myself to super impose my princess' image on their visages. I think many of the opportunistic blood suckers were disappointed when I stopped offering a night in my bed.
I take it back, I am grateful for real company.
I was surprised when Miss Matilda brought a jack with her to our monthly meeting. These meetings used to be covered by my princess but, but it's fallen on me now. In her long years in Ponyville Miss Matilda had become quite the buyer and seller of antiques, circulating them in the upper class.
Donkeys live longer than ponies, this was a scientifically proven fact, and Matilda while she certainly didn't look young, none would guess she was roughly the same age as Granny Smith.
This gave Matilda life experience with the antiques she sold and bought. She was a hard worker. Something I could appreciate. She didn't look it, but she was a successful business donkey.
For some strange reason, many ponies come to the weird assumption that I somehow think donkeys are somehow 'inferior' to Earth ponies and that I'd somehow feel loathing towards them for not having cutie marks, let alone the idea that they are part of the narwhal overlords' conspiracy that keeps Earth Ponies out of Canterlot.
While I feel that donkeys are at a disadvantage for not being able to have a sign for when they discover their true selves, on the other hoof this means they aren't prone to the misinterpretations that plagues many young foals these days. The idea donkeys were of less worth without cutie marks is absurd.
Some donkeys were more hard working than some Earth ponies I knew.
Matilda introduced the jack with her as Cranky Doodle Donkey, apparently they met exactly once when they were young at the Grand Galloping Gala, and had spent their entire donkey lifetime looking for each other and found each other at last only this year. I know Golden Tiara would approve of such a romantic tale if she was still herself.
Stupid? My dear, you have never been in love.
Cranky said he had given up his quest and had come to Ponyville for rural 'peace and quiet' (I dreaded how to explain to him how out of date those brochures had become on that subject in the last year). "And the first thing I run into is a full scale musical and an over-charged pink pony."
Of course, Pinkie Pie: Ponyville's resident critically accurate soothsayer, party organizer, party animal, one pony welcoming committee, song smith, and until recently resident harmless lunatic. Apparently you could only forcibly commit somepony if they were a danger to themselves or others... which sadly, didn't contradict-
ANYWAY- Cranky had no interest in being social. Pinkie had insisted it was her 'civic duty' as Ponyville's 'welcoming pony' to help him move in his belongings. At least she had the sense of personal space not to play with any of it.
With her Welcoming Wagon she had also showered him with confetti that he was still getting out of his black hair and had presented him with a cake that he had begrudgingly accepted.
Cranky found the pony weird, she kept saying something about 'this time around, of course this isn't really a redo if we haven't actually done this before.' She had then thrown in a Spa Treatment she INSISTED was part of the welcoming package to any newcomer to Ponyville. And hoping to get the pony to go away faster Cranky had conceded.
Cranky loathed to admit, but the spa treatment had not been that bad on his bones.
As Pinkie Pie provided free unpacking and moving services (and Cranky swore it was like she was unloading and unpacking at the same time), she asked questions about the story behind each of his trinkets. And he had let hints slip of his quest to find his own princess.
I swear, that pink pony is dangerous with how much smarter she is than she looks, and being rational now makes her scary. She asked what the deal was with his scrapbook. He said it was personal. But like I said, it was scary how manipulative that pony can be when she tries. Pinkie promised to leave him alone if he told her about it, and of course Cranky complied.
Within HOURS Pinkie Pie had Matilda at Cranky's doorstep. Apparently she'd seen Matilda's scrapbook, "I've been friends with Pinkie Pie long before my Doodle came to Ponyville," and that had tipped the pink pony off.
"And that was the first time I had smiled in decades," Cranky admitted.
I never understood anypony who thought donkeys were stupid or lazy, and personally found the company of such ideas distasteful.
It did bring up the uncomfortable subject of cows and sheep of course, who on at least one occasion had filed a formal complaint on cases of mistreatment to the Ponies for the Ethical Treatment of Animals in Canterlot. I had my lawyer help them get through the red tape. What's with the look? Why wouldn't I cheer for a group not wanting to be treated as inferior?
Medical studies were still pending on if goats were sapient or just sentient. Minotaurs seemed to treat goats the way 'huh-mons' were said to have treated monkeys in the myths.
There was also the fact that donkeys could cross with ponies (like griffins). The mix being hinnies and mules. -Who contrary to popular belief had a minority who were not barren.-
Mules were not naturally retarded, an insult Cranky took personally since Matilda had a couple mules in her family tree. In fact, many were exceptionally intelligent. Though they're still more welcome than Hippogriffs.
All in all, I was personally disgusted at phrases like 'stupid jackass' and 'ugly as a mule' being circulated by ponies. Who could be so shallow and inconsiderate of other creatures as to assign such negative moniker?
+++
Rarity sneezed. For some odd reason having a flash back to her time being kidnapped by Diamond Dogs.
++++
The server brought coffee and cookies, complete with cups made for a pair of hooves to press against either side to hold rather than use a narwhal's telekinesis or your mouth.
I really need to remember to raise the salary of all my staff with a bonus to boot. None of them quit after the day the chaos monster reigned. The parents of the foal hadn't sued mostly because every pony in Ponyville had done completely horrid and deranged things under the chaos monster's curse.
What Matilda went through was known only to her and her therapist. One rumor said she began smoking and drinking like a sailor, the other was that the chaos monster had left her perfectly sane but only able to bray. Personally I'd wager it involved Cranky in some way, fitting its sense of 'humor.' Cranky had been spared being between cities at the time. I never thought I'd loath another monster's rule worse than the Tyrant's.
It was beautiful to see her find her prince charming. I could tell Cranky didn't fit the bill of what most fillies thought of for a prince, but being my wife's prince, I knew that there was no accounting for taste and everypony looked for something different in their other half.
Contrary to his manner, Cranky was not unable to fit into upper crust protocol, he had managed to get invited to the Grand Galloping Gala after all, the one social event that was greatness, art, beauty, and rigid snobbery taken to its zenith.
I think somewhere deep down, some piece of Golden Tiara was still with me. Because she was the only 'prim and proper' mare I knew who could ask what I did next.
"So when will you two be getting married?"
The two donkeys brayed in surprise at my boldness.
Matilda stuttered, Cranky's mouth became a steel trap.
"We-we, I hadn't even, we just met again and-"
"Miss Matilda, you both spent a lifetime looking for each other, if that's not in love, then I don't know what is."
"Feels a little odd to do now, after all these years," Cranky said surprisingly polite on the matter.
"Good sir. You are never too old to get married," I said proudly.
Cranky got his persona back. "Look, if I was to marry Matilda I'd want it to be perfect! And I can't afford that, especially after I just moved to Ponyville! So it's better that we just be together and-"
"Any wedding is perfect as long as you walk away with your bride in your hooves. But if you insist... allow me to hoof the bill. Go hog wild, no excess is too much."
The donkeys brayed again in surprise.
"We-mr. Rich, er, Tiara, I could never accept-"
"I insist madam. I could never bear to see such a lovely couple like yourselves to not go through the most magical day of your lives and not have it be perfect."
I know what my princess would've said, "A fairytale like yours deserves to have its proper happy ending."
"I-I don't know what to say," Matilda replied as Cranky apparently tried to get a gear unstuck in his head.
"We can get started with the details."
I loved the looks on their faces. But in the back of my mind, I still dreaded to think of what horrid monster might have their hooves on the most precious of all my diamonds.
What do you mean she could have run away because I was sleeping with those mares?! If that really upset her she'd tell me! She's... she's like her mother that way... she always speaks her mind, she's always straight forward. She's always honest no matter how much it hurts... . Or I thought she was.
Was that little creature insulting Granny Smith my real daughter?
How did this happen? She was all I had left. My little princess, my most precious diamond, my perfectly behaved angel, I love her. How could that side of her even exist? Was the filly who happily squealed when I hugged her just a lie?
NO! I won't believe that! I refuse to believe that! That Diamond Tiara couldn't have been a lie! I raised a young lady, not a shameless bully.
I always made sure she wanted for nothing. Like a good father should. Did I spoil her?
I don't care! She's still my daughter! Diamond Tiara! Just come home to papa! You're all I have left. I don't want to think what kind of irredeemable beast might have their claws in you right now!
+++
I hate being the spirit of chaos.
Oh but I love chaos! That's no surprise! And I love surprises too! The looks on people's faces! The delight of the unexpected! The revelry of total nonsense! The disruption of the boring old order of things! The fun never ends!
I love being chaotic! I just hate being the spirit of it. Naw. I just hate being told what to DO as one.
Can't have too much fun! Keep things random! Follow these guidelines! DUH, of course I love nonsense! And I love surprises almost as much! But why should chaos even NEED a management position? It's not order! There shouldn't be any book to balance!
It's my JOB! Jeez, it's like having someone TELL someone to do their hobby! It stops being a hobby and becomes work!
And worthless rules that do nothing but create illusionary consequences for everything! Would you dictate to an artist what they could and couldn't paint?! Oh brother.
Keep chaos in its place, not too much, not too little, just enough to let the world move forward. Too much chaos and things never change?
Stuff like that is exactly the kind of worthless horseapples I'm talking about! There's no such thing as 'too much chaos' as long as there's fun to be had!
Why should I care if ponies bellyache when I play rough with them? It's not my fault they never get the joke! The only time its ever caused trouble was when I started running out of them to have fun with, then I had to wait a few hundred years for them to restock! With how many couples weren't even bothering to have foals I was worried I was going to have to start, ick, playing match maker! It was like the ones I didn't drive crazy had lost the will to live without one bit of pretty reckless abandon.
And the most stupid rule of all, 'insure sapient life can exist.' Pandora always said, 'Each Draconequi cares about life in their own way.' Of course I care for life! What's the point of the game if no pony plays it? I don't want to run out of playthings! And they break so easily. Good for me they're so adept at replacing themselves.
And here I am, a spirit of chaos stuck with rules.
Spirit of Disharmony on the other hand? My own personal invented position? I do what I want to do and nothing one else! Not Mother! Not Father! Not any of my siblings, not the Alicorns we bend over backwards towards! And certainly not Celestia!
Watch the cute little ponies flee in fear, watch them squirm, watch the looks on their faces at my many, many surprises! And the best part is watching them go at with each other. Breaking bonds, disrupting connections, ponies with no links to others, and music of broken hearts grinding against each other. If only they had a better sense of humor.
They never even try to see the funny side! I free them of those meaningless platitudes and they can't wait to make themselves humorless slaves again. Maybe I need a bigger anvil.
The age of the three tribes was a riot for me! Have to say, Strife sure knew how to make ponies go at each other! Stirring up that racial hatred to the boiling point, it's so much more fun seeing the little pony dolls when they go at it. Besides, who likes those 'slice of life' stories anyway? Everyone knows the REAL cool stories are the ones with epic amounts of conflict! Pst. Now I sound like my sister. Screw structure.
They say when you're petrified, you lose all consciousness, or you're simply dead. After the cold feeling running through you and the numbness, that everything goes black, and that is that. Or, if you are aware, you're stuck looking in one direction, totally paralyzed, unable to move no matter how much you want to, doomed to just scream inside your own mind forever.
Why couldn't it be like that-?!
For the love of Havoc and Entropy why?!
When you're stone, after the initial numbness you can feel every part of you, even your hair, since none of yourself technically has nerves at the moment, you're a whole piece. Since you don't really have eyeballs, just more stone, you can look in every direction. Same with your other senses. Those things I don't mind. The pigeons and the rain are nice surprises.
But the awful part is your mind! You don't go crazy at all! You don't panic! You aren't really afraid for long either! Your emotions are all still there but detached!
You enter a perfectly peaceful and calm zen-like state. You're one with the universe (One with Celly's Parent, yuck!). Your mind is perfectly clear and free of inner distractions and you become indifferent to outer distractions. Your thoughts function in perfect crystal clarity as you peacefully contemplate your place in the grand order of things. You don't sleep but you don't mind. Unless you put energy into resisting, your default desire is to just mentally smile and let it all happen, and you couldn't be more sane, and I HATE IT!
Oh, and it isn't one of those 'rethink your life' things. You don't suddenly grow one of those useless 'consciences' everybody always tells me I don't have (that's not true, I had one... I think I sold it on ebray when it got in my way). I wish it was like that, at least that'd be interesting. No, you just think about your place in the universe, not how you can change it or why you should.
You're a draconequus shaped piece of rock, you're happy being a draconequus shaped piece of rock, you don't mind if you stay one forever or not. There is only peaceful thoughtful reflection.
I hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it! I hate being sane! I hate being thoughtful! I hate being one with the universe! This perfectly orderly existence is enough to make me explode! Almost. Sadly. And I become calm and peaceful again the moment I stop focusing on my anger! Agh!
When you're stone, you enter the calm, peaceful, zen-like state. You're one with the universe, you don't feel the eons roll by at all, and I HATE IT!
This seriously takes out some of the fun of the cockatrice turning those pegasi who found my little pony into rocks. Even if they're stone until the sun burns out they won't despair over not seeing their families again and just accept it as the way things go! They'll likely spend the eons mentally composing poetry no one will hear but them and be perfectly fine with that! I'm sure Pandora loves that, I find it boring!
At least I get a kick out of their families never knowing what happened to them. Maybe I'll tell them after I've dumped Equestria's source of Phoenix tears at the bottom of the ocean.
But the worst part is, the absolute worst part, is that no matter how long they're statues, if they're ever restored, they won't be traumatized in the least!
Thinking back on it, if that's the case, turning Celly and Lulu into statues like I wanted would have let them be one with Their Folks maybe. Not happening.
What? Don't tell me you thought I didn't turn ponies to stone out of the kindness of my hearts. Bwahahahahaha!
So yes, I suppose I am grateful Firefly saved me from that cockatrice when I was too small to realize I could have turned it into a banana tree if I wanted.
I loath My Mother, Her and Her perfectly orderly frozen limbo filled with shadows of existence. How I could possibly be a child of Hers is truly a mystery to me.
Dad said he was all about the fear, but he had all those useless little rules to govern it! At least in the end he saw the light and was kind enough to... contribute to my new position as Spirit of Disharmony and Great and Really Great Chancellor of the One Insignificant Mud Ball.
Grrrrrr! I hate how easy it is to calm down like this too.
Ahem.
Now I'm sure many of you are wondering. 'What caused you to turn out so bad.' 'Why oh why are you so evil?' 'How could you possibly do the things you do?' And all those other meaningless questions about the 'whys' and 'what for's.' Why does everything need an annoying motive? It's not like anyone -cares- why the man in the blue spandex and the man in the black spandex are punching each other. You're in it for the fun! It's not like anyone cares for plot or consistency anymore.
Maybe I regenerated myself wrong and got brain damaged. Maybe some bug is growing in my brain. Or maybe I was just born with this winning personality! Why does it matter how I got to be the marvelous badass of chaos in front of you?
So you really want to know that badly huh? Even though it doesn't change a thing? Pst. Well, if you insist. Ahem.
Maestro!
Why am I so wicked?...
Nobody cares to ask...
He's just a sick buck they say,
to it there's nothing else.
But-if-you-want-to then here we go!
I wanted to be the spirit of comedy and mischief but parents wouldn't let me
Lulu stole my ball
Celly gave me a fish when we kissed
And that is why I am so evil!
This is the life you see! Morning Star tips his hat to me!
Mother made me wear a sparkling tie and galoshes for the family photo when I was small
We natural order loving Draconequus were slaughtered by the civilization imposing Alicorns.
Like when that Alicorn stole my ice cream
And that is why I am so evil!
Mother never loved me
My siblings tortured me whenever I did something wrong
Celestia said she liked tulips not roses like I got her
And that is why I am so evil!
A/N: Discord mentally appears in pink dress!
Father told me that they wanted another girl and not a boy
A/N: Discord tears off pink dress!
Weekmare Loon ran over my tricycle with her puppy
And that is why I am so evil!
I am the spirit of Disharmony
I do my job and I do it happily!
A/N: Discord mentally wears a pair of cheap reading glasses. And reads a small note card.
And that iz why ze subject suffers fro disruptive anti-social behavior manifesting as spontaneous acts of chaos.
But I must confess one reason I have forgot, listen closely, learn the darkest, deepest reason of ALLL ---
A/N: Discord mentally begins dancing to a boom box.
Discord just wanna have fun! Oh yeah! Yeah Discord just wanna have fun!
Discord is what I do, and I do it for fun! Period. Whether that's raining puppies or spiders.
Whether it's giving little fillies candy or grenades!
Whether it makes ponies smile or cry as long as I walk away smiling what do I care?
And now this particular pant leg of reality is no longer connected to the heart world! Which means there is nothing to protect this world's fate now. Which means I get to have as much fun as I want. The 'bad guy' can win and no one cares! Which means there's no more annoying status quo to get in my way.
Like I'm telling my little pony.
"The shadows who watch would have never let you save your mother if this world was still tied to the heart world, but now that its chains have been broken, you don't have to fear about them cheating you out of your win!"
And she sure has a big sense of entitlement! Let me tell you! I love it! My little pony knows what she wants. That's something I'll have to fix. Like they do with cats.
I shall confess, it's been nice having her around. A pony who actually listens to what I have to say instead of just whining, 'spare my family!' or 'we'll beat you, somehow' or 'I don't want to be a door-to-door sales mushroom' oy!'
And she belongs to me.
Celestia once said I couldn't do a thing if I didn't have my magic as a crutch. That I couldn't get one pony to obey me without magically altering them.
And here she is Celly. My little pony! One of Celestia's children! And she's mine now! All she's missing is a collar with my name on it!
And I haven't had to do one illusion and present it as fact, I haven't, okay, maybe I've lied a little, no more than an average pony, but I've mostly been just implying. I haven't had to alter her brain patterns, rewrite her memories, or insert a new personality. Not like I could do any of those things right now. Being a statue and everything. But Celly! Oh Celly! I have taken one of your ponies, and made her into mine! Without so having to use force or magic at all!
No self fulfilling prophecy. No illusions to traumatize one favorite whose laughter sadly had to go. No delusion to dig out her greedy side. No need to brute force it. And... okay maybe a little conflicting loyalties, but it ISN'T a scenario engineered by me! Ha ha! No turning all her friends into monsters to break her. I didn't HAVE to do that! She alienated her only friend all by herself! I'm so proud!
My voice is the only weapon that I need! And she belongs to me!
She listens to what I have to say. She does as I say. And oh oh oh! She has so many traits in her that I'd love to have in a family!
We really do make a winning team! Is this what ponies call 'joy?' Ha ha!
But all good things must come to an end.
She will be my masterpiece.
+++++
I had never felt so awful in my life.
I had never felt so dirty either! Every one of my leg joints ached. I thought Earth ponies were supposed to be built with strength and endurance and a supernatural link to the ground to make up for not having magic horns and not being able to fly. And I thought that stupid hopping over the water cans while singing the ABCs was miserable!
I wanna go home.
But dad's going to be so angry at me for running away unless mom is all better again. And he'll go right back to finding more of those cheap fakes of her.
It's scary here. Like I'm invisible, the narwhal, the unicorns just push right past me, no pony looks at me, their eyes just roll over me. Like I don't exist.
I'm repeating myself aren't I? I don't know.
Canterlot is so big. So much bigger than Ponyville. It took me so long to get here by hoof, I thought everything would be done and done right after I got inside and I'd have my life back.
But it's like Ponyville could fit into one of these districts. How can a city built into a mountain side be so big? How much stuff do they have to keep shipping to and from here to keep everything running?
It made me feel even smaller. Even foals my own age looked at me like I was a fire-hydrant.
And so many unicorns. Reminded me of one of my tutor's lectures about some nowhere town called Hoofington that was supposedly 'conquered' by invading unicorns and bringing the founding Earth ponies under their hooves and to beware a similar fate befalling Ponyville.
The voice kept telling me to press on, but my body was beginning to shut down. You think after sleeping for three months I'd have had plenty of sleep. So why am I so tired?
'Maybe you're just a lazy pony. A lazy pony who doesn't care for her family. Or maybe a hard working one who got soooo far without anyone's help. Heh. Except for mine of course.'
I... I... I find a park, I munch on some grass behind the 'Do Not Eat The Grass' sign. I... ick. The voice applauds me for ignoring the sign. I hate this. I want to go home to my room, to my bed, my blankets, my pillow.
But... this flower bed, feels nice enough.
I have the worst nightmare of my life. I'm in a blasted cracked desert. The sky is some twisted mix of storm clouds and a twilight sky. I'm surrounded by other ponies, pegasi, earth ponies, unicorns, little fairy ponies, sea horse ponies, ponies that look half griffin. Dozens, hundreds. All looking from different eras. They all have black collars on their necks with silver spikes, chained to this huge chariot with this huge fat horned snake in it with fire for its eyes and mouth. "Cry Havoc!" Its voice came from everywhere.
I realized there's a collar around my neck too. The horned snake whips its tail. I have to race or I'll be crushed under everypony else. To pull the giant chariot that dwarfs me like a building. I can barely breath! The noise of the trampling hooves. The cries of everypony around me! It's horrible! Make it stop! Makes it stop please! I don't want to be here! What did I do to deserve this place?! Somepony please just end it!
"Hey filly! Wake up!"
I open my eyes and scream at the bat winged monster in front of me.
"Whao-whao-whao girl! Calm down! It's okay!" Said the leathery winged pegasus in blue and black armor.
The nightmare's images faded but left an impression like a cattle branding on my mind. I shivered at the sight of the royal guard.
"Er, look," said the bat pegasus embarrassed, "I hate to do this to you little miss, but the park's closing, you'll have to find somewhere else. Where are your folks? If you tell me I can take you right to them."
No! Can't go home yet! Mustn't go home yet! Get away! Get away!
I don't know where I find the strength but I run away from the Night Guard, out of the park, though the less crowded streets.
'Faster little filly faster! Or maybe you don't WANT your mother to be well after all. Maybe you want her to stay abnormal. Maybe you want your mother to stay in that tiny room!'
"No no no, I'm going as fast as I-" I trip and skid on my muzzle. I sniffle. I have never gone so far, or run so much in my life. I force myself to get up and hide between a pair of dumpsters.
I see a couple Night Guards fly overhead but they don't see me.
The nightmare made me too terrified to go back to sleep.
'As long as you walk the path I've set for you, I'll always protect you,' whispered the voice.
"Help me."
"My dear now that we're in Canterlot if I try to help you directly I might get the Alicorns' attention, and they'll make sure you never save your mother. Or maybe you really do want to give up after everything. Quit halfway, screw your family, screw your parents, just go back to your nice, safe bed right? Who cares that your father just keeps sleeping with mares and your mother is the pleasurable company for some big white pegasi in the nut house? I'm sure they'll understand that you came so close to saving her and gave up at the last second."
"I don't give up." I think that's the first time I've ever said those words.
"That's a good filly who sees things through to the end. Or a bad one who doesn't know when to quit? Which do you think?"
"I don't know!"
"Very good filly. Now get a bit more rest. That wasn't a request."
I obey.
The more I try not think about my nightmare, the more I think about it, the more I think about it, the more I strangely think of every time I've pushed down other foals to push my bad feelings aside, if I had power over them, then I wasn't powerless right? I wasn't helpless. Little pawns to play with.
And the more the strange sickness strikes me the more I try to draw strength from that. What was this feeling?
'Oh my little pony. If there's one thing you don't need to feel guilty or regretful for it's that. It's FUN to play with ponies' lives. Make them feel their worst to make you feel your best. Watch them dance to your tune. You just need to learn to be more sublime about it. Isn't it such a fun game to play?'
"Game?"
'Oh yes my little pony! Don't you understand? We My dear we both love to play mind games!'
Manipulation is the name of the game
Manipulation, makes all other games look tame
The goal is control of their soul...
We both love playin' mind games,
Stretchin' their mind till it snaps
We like to play mind games, mind games,
Makin' the whole thing collapse
Confusion, is the order of the day.
Intimidation, turns the wisest mares to fools
Caught, overwrought, and destroyed...
Suddenly the world seems out of joint
Don't you know, baby, that's the point?
Twistin' their heads out of shape
We both love to play mind games, mind games,
There's no way to escape mind games!
It was funny, the voice had never, related to me before. It made me think of Silver Spoon and Miss Rarity. I felt proud of all those times I showed how easy it was to play ponies, but the sickness struck back again. But I endured it, the voice comforted me. And this time I entered a black, silent, dreamless sleep.
'Alright my dear I think you've wasted enough of my time,' said the voice in a totally cheery and friendly tone. 'It's time to wake up. Or do I need to yell into your brain again?'
I struggle awake, groggy, no one had picked the garbage yet apparently. It was past dawn now.
I didn't wait for the voice to tell me to get up and get moving. I got up on my own and began trotting in the direction I had been headed since entering the city like a good little puppet.
I'm a puppet? Maybe... but it's going to help me. I scratch its back, it scratches mine, right?
I was getting used to the invisible feeling I got from all the unicorns around me.
I was leaving the hotels and tourist shops behind me, and was getting among the houses and homes. Aren't those the same thing? I'm not sure anymore. Help me.
'I am helping you dear. Very much so. It's not my fault if you can't make good use of the help I keep giving you now is it? Does it matter if you're a good or bad pony if you can't even make use of all the help you're given?'
I trotted along, I couldn't stop thinking how big Canterlot looked! With the city built on a cliff there were so many stairs, but at the same time so many long streets, it was like the city was bigger on the inside than the outside! In Ponyville finding your way around was easy. Here it was one big maze!
So many more of the buildings were made out of bricks instead of wood, and so much was painted white and gold. The weird thing was seeing some ponies were busy repainting buildings blue and silver in places. And there wasn't a speck of dirt outside the parks anywhere! Everything was paved! The hard streets were beginning to hurt my unshod hooves.
And the buildings were so tall! I had only seen them from Ponyville or the Canterlot royal gardens before, but being right next to them, they made me feel so small. They should have been casting shadows everywhere, but it was like the light knew just which way to go to cast its warmth on everything.
The noise was like one big wall on all sides pushing against me. Ponies chatting, shouting, singing, the herd's hooves hitting against the stone streets going every direction at once. The smell of fresh baked bread, a dozen different perfumes and colognes, carefully taken care of flowers and stone.
It was all chaos! Everything was so confusing! How was anypony supposed to get anywhere or find anything in this mess? I wouldn't know what to do without the voice.
The houses all looked so fancy and yet looked so much alike. I guess houses had to 'be in style' too. The gardens in front are about the only thing that each look, 'special.'
It was one big river, and I was swimming up stream no matter which way I went! And every time an adult brushed passed me, or a foal pushed me aside, I'd be reminded that I was the only naked pony I saw. That never mattered much before, dresses were just for when you felt like being fancy. But now I felt exposed, vulnerable. I really wish I'd taken a dress before I ran away. Or maybe a doll. Or told papa I'd be back soon.
Or maybe, if I knew it was the last time we'd have fun, spend a little more time on my birthday with Silver-
NOW NOW, focus on the present dear!
There are some Earth Ponies here now, that makes it a little easier. I see some feather dusters-pegasi too, I guess the unicorns can't do the weather by themselves. But the Earth ponies, they look at me exactly the same way the unicorns are! Either like I'm not here or don't belong here. Like I'm some sort of stain on their clothes! The pegasi, the unicorns, the Earth Ponies, they all act exactly the same. I don't understand.
I think I liked it better when none of them were looking at me, those eyes.
'There, there, my little pony, they just have an over inflated sense of importance and look down on everypony that doesn't fit their view of perfection... Hmm, you'd think you'd fit in better here, wouldn't you?'
I shut my eyes and think, 'If you're helping me then help me!'
The voice laughs, a big one. It's between a stallion and, something else... my skin crawls. It reminds me how ponies at that place my mom's in laugh... 'Oh, I thought you'd never ask my little pony.' The voice clears its throat like Miss Cheerilee about to start her lecture. 'Now, first thing you need to know is there are two types of ponies in this world. Learn to identify and control both. There are the ones who are blindly selfish and the ones that blindly care for everypony, blegh. The selfish ones are the ones who only look out for themselves and no one else. The ones who worship the almighty bit. Personally, I think those are the smart ones, but they're also very easy to get to do what you want them to. All it takes is enough bits or something valuable and you've got them wrapped around your hoof.'
I listen and walk, that's all I can do.
'But also, these types will do anything to save their own hides, their family doesn't mean anything to them, they don't have friends, ponies are friends with their money or status, the only thing they value are things and themselves. Dig up a little dirt on them and they'll do tricks like dogs.
'As for the... ugh... nice ones. They're gullible, all it takes is a little fake injury or pretending to be nice to make them do exactly what you want them to. They'll believe near anything you want them too if you can say it innocently enough. They think everypony thinks like them, and even the ones who aren't ponies. They think donkeys, dragons, zebras, all of them are really deep down trying to be good ponies because what could be better than that? The selfish ones will betray the world to save themselves, the foolish ones will betray the world to protect their friends.'
I keep listening... which one am I? Am I a dumb nice pony or a smart selfish pony?... I don't know anymore... Shouldn't that scare me?
'That's a good girl... Now where was I? Oh yes, a personal favorite trick of mine, Deceit. Tell a pony the right motivational lie and watch them climb mountains! You're already pretty good at lying, but lies will only get you so far, my dear. Deceit will be your best weapon, my little pony but there's more to Deceit than just lying, as wonderfully useful as that is. Twisting the truth can work every bit as well as not telling it. In fact, it often works better!'
'How?'
'First some finer points about lying. You already know my little pony that ponies will believe what they want to be real, or are afraid is real, and I am so proud that you've realized that on your own! But there's more to it than that. If you tell a lie so big, so outlandish, instead of no one believing it, the nice stupid ponies will believe every word because they don't think such a huge lie could exist! But if you sprinkle some truth into those lies, people will assume it has to be totally real or totally false! But the real weapon is the truth itself. Ponies think because something is true, it can't be misleading at all. For instance.
'A girl is told Witch Weed will increase her magic ten fold, that is completely true. But no pony bothered to tell her that she'd have to take it constantly to keep that power, and that she'd get addicted to it. Or say, you tell ponies you saw Pinkie Pie, yes that Pinkie Pie, wonderful pony, running around, and with a knife. And you saw her cutting up Rainbow Dash in her basement, and was now going to make cup cakes with what was left over.
BUT! You didn't say you saw her running around WITH the knife, just that you saw her with a knife, and then saw her running around. You saw her in the kitchen with the knife cutting cake, and you saw her running around town SOMETIME. And she was cutting up Rainbow Dash, with the JOKES she was telling that were making Rainbow Dash laugh up a storm in the party they were having in her basement since the upstairs floor was reserved that day for a poetry recital, and she used the left over snacks in her latest cupcake experiments. You see now? You don't NEED to lie girl! You don't need to tell a single falsehood to implant the information YOU want into their little heads. And the best part is that it would get past a lie detection spell because nothing you said was actually false!
Sometimes, say things the right way and you don't need to do any twisting at all, just let the rumor mill churn out a nice big fat lie for you!
Also! If you say the truth and the whole truth, but say it in a completely sarcastic or unconvincing manner, ponies will assume you're lying and conclude the opposite without you having to do a thing! This gets even better when you just need to tell foals and teens NOT to do something and they'll do it before you have a chance to sit down!'
I absorbed all this information. I had known some of it, I grew up in the upper class after all, but all of this was so useful, and I hadn't even thought of it before! How come? It felt so obvious now!
'Another good trick is telling someone a nasty little truth they don't want to hear. It doesn't have to be false. It doesn't need to be incomplete. You don't even need to be lying! Let's say that rotten little yellow Earth Pony you hate so much accidentally broke the Pegasus' scooter and didn't tell her.'
I listen VERY eagerly.
'Let the little brat know what happened and that her 'friend' hid it from her. BOOM! Instant fight! Grab the popcorn and watch the fireworks! See?'
Suddenly I was whacked by the sickness again. The idea of ponies hurting because of me for something that had nothing to do with me. Seeing two friends, broken apart, who had been there for each other, who support each other, suddenly torn apart. A sheet of paper ripped in half with the edges bleeding. All because she didn't trust to tell her friend the truth from the beginning. What was this feeling? It wasn't sickness, what was it?
'Now, moving onto making someone think they deserve to be highly-LOOK OUT TIARA!'
A stallion's big strong forehooves grabbed me from behind and lifted me right off the street.
"I've been looking all over for you dear! Now come along it's time to go home and I don't want to hear any whining or screaming this time! Your mother is at home worried sick about you! Now come along with papa." I hear a voice behind me I don't recognize.
I look behind and I see the face of a unicorn stallion. He has a green hide, lighter green mane, and red eyes. He's dressed in a garish green suit. His cutie mark looks like a swinging pocket watch. He's a stranger.
I squirm and struggle in his grasp, he merely begins to trot in the opposite direction of where we've been. I scream and shout. Ponies look at him. He gives me an embarrassed look and shrugs. The ponies look away. "Help me!" I shouted. It's like they don't even hear me!
'He gave them an easy answer first! They won't listen to you like that Tiara!'
Where was he taking me? What was he going to do with me?! I couldn't break free!
'Don't panic!'
I panicked. My mind went blank for a moment.
He whispered in my ear.
"You'll make such a wonderful doll. Pretty, silent, and obedient. Don't worry. You'll be pretty forever. I'll wipe away all those painful and annoying memories. They'll be nothing except being a nice little doll for ponies to look at and play with."
Just be a pretty doll? No worries? No fears? Just the dance. Only the dance. Nothing more. Nothing less. No more confusion. Only the purity of the dance. And for so tiny a price, actually a gift, no more pain, no more memories.
"All hail the princess and her lady in waiting!" Silvery struck a regal pose.
"Hey! I'm always the princess!" I snapped at her.
"That's when we're at your house! Dad says a pony's home is their castle and this is my house so this is my castle so I'm princess!" Silvery grinned back at me.
I started feeling a bit dizzy. "Oh okay."
"Don't worry! Princess Silvery treats her subjects fairly and kindly. And she treats visiting princesses from other lands even better. So did you bring the lock picks?"
"Yeah."
"Cool! Let's get those cookies mom has hidden away!"
+++
"Hold on tight now!" Mommy said as I held onto the saddle she was wearing for dear life. We leapt right over the edge! All I could see anywhere was sky!
"Mommy! Mommy! We're flying!"
"Naw! Just jump good!... And here comes the fall!"
We splashed down into the body of water below us.
+++
"And that tis why, I do conclude,
that silver and diamonds together were the best viewed!'"
I bowed at the end of my poetry recital.
Papa stood on his rear legs and clapped smiling. "That was wonderful Tiara! Encore! You'll have a poetry cutie mark before you know it!"
I felt this strange warm fuzzy feeling inside hearing him say that.
I did wonder why all the other adults had chosen then to have their nap time.
+++
"It's too hard!" I cried. My hooves were red with the needle pricks and my tongue felt stung by hornets.
"No it isn't," Miss Rarity said. "You're still just learning."
"Easy for you to say! You have a magic horn!"
The white mare's eyes narrowed. "Is that so?"
The glow around her equipment vanished as it lowered to the table. And Miss Rarity began to handle them with her hooves and mouth!
"W-what are you doing?"
"You're right. You don't have telekinesis. You're an Earth pony, you feel and direct the flow of life through things. And I like to think art is life. If I'm to teach you, I have to play to your strengths, not mine. It wouldn't be very generous of me to do otherwise. Now let's start over."
NO! I didn't want to forget! I wanted to remember! "LET-ME-GOOO!"
"Now you be quiet before I spank your-"
"THIS STALLION IS NOT MY FATHER! I'M BEING KIDNAPPED!"
This did get everypony's attention. The adults began to slowly turn her heads at me.
"STOP IT! HE'S TOUCHING MY PLOT!" A big fat lie. Everypony believed it.
They were all crowding around him now. He stopped and began to looked panicked as his escape routes were cut off. I spotted some royal guards in gold armor beginning to get closer too, their eyes zeroed in on us.
'Get out of here Tiara! You can't risk getting caught by the guards! If they find out then your father will find out and take you away! Or the Alicorns will find out! And if the Alicorns find out, they'll make it so you won't be able to hear me! And you'll never ever be able to save your mother!'
Now that he's distracted, I kick the green unicorn in the back knee, he falls over, I then back kick him with both legs where all stallions hurt for good measure! I run for it, going between the legs of ponies and a couple donkeys as I trot with as much power as I have left, tapping into my reserves.
I run every random way I can think of, everything is a blur, I run through places adults can't fit. And when I can run no more, I fall to my rear knees panting, my heart hammering. I could hear my pulse in my ears.
'Good pony. Very brave pony. I'm very right to have you my pony,' The voice said in my head.
"T-thank you... That . . that was the first time you used my name I think."
'It was?' The voice sounded surprised, 'Hmmm. Interesting. You know my dear you remind me of, well, My Mother never cared much for me, but I did know one pony who certainly acted more like a mother to me than My Mother ever did. And she'd do anything for those she cared about. And before she met me, she spent her whole life whining about how worthless she was.'
"Your... your family?"
'I've had more than one actually. Long story. One I don't believe we have time for. The point is my dear, you remind me of her. And she is one of the few ponies who have earned my respect.'
"Thank you."
'Your father never did much for you did he? Abandoning your mother in that awful place. Humiliating you so awfully in front of your peers. Sleeping with those other mares. Such a pony doesn't deserve to be a father does he? Why don't you think of me as your papa from now on?'
"I... I... I don't know."
'Oh well my little pony. Think about it. Ahem. Now back to business. You looking the way you do has so far been very helpful to get to where we need to go. But now I think that it's going to become a hindrance. And you are seriously underdressed to be visiting my, er the Castle. We need to go fixing that, and I don't mean like they do with cats.'
"I don't have any money." As soon as I said those words, it was like a thunder clap. Since when do I not have money? No, all I ever had was my dad's money. Everypony just did everything for me.
I couldn't afford a bath. I looked at a large nearby fountain with a smiling hippocampus statue at the center with a pendant around its neck. Then I noticed the large signs in plain view you'd have to be blind to miss. 'No Public Bathing' 'Fillies Stay Away' 'Do Not Drink The Water' 'This Means You Applebloom.'
I startled at that last one. How did a filly who's spent her entire life on a farm and was for all realistic purposes doomed to work her entire life there and die and be buried there have more fame than me-?! The sickness again.
And there was an additional sign with the addendum, 'And Scootaloo. And Sweetie Belle.' And a hastily scrawled at the bottom, 'And Silver Spoon and Spike.'
My heart and brain were in a race to see which one could break faster. Why was Silver mentioned with them? Didn't she know she was better than... 'You're no better than a blank flank Silver Spoon!'
The sickness came overwhelmingly now! I shake all over! Ice forms in my heart and spreads to every inch! I fall on my sides, I feel like I'm dying. I'm shedding tears and I don't even know why! Everything was so confusing!
'Oh no you don't! Calm down! And I mean calm down! You are not going off the rails here! You don't fall into the abyss unless I let you! Now stop at once!'
Confusion. Nothing but confusion.
'Or maybe this was all you were all along! A one-dimensional bully, whose only reason for existing was to serve as a minor annoyance stepping-stone villain for this chapter of dear Applebloom's 'I Am So Great' auto-biography. Maybe I should go ask HER to-'
"NO! I'M NOT A PROP! I'M ME!" I shouted. The world started to fade back into focus again. In the mad house that was Canterlot. Earth ponies and pegasi acting like I've always been told unicorns act. Hard roads that hurt anypony who's not shoed. Everything so nice looking, and nopony stopping for a second to look at it all. Everypony is crazy.
'You're finally getting it my little pony. Now then. Don't worry. Just listen and let papa take care of everything. And we'll have you dressed up, and washed in no time. Just need to stop a good target and ah-ha, that'll do nicely. But then my dear, I have something very very important to tell you.' The voice said rather proudly.
And a minute and six seconds later the voice finished, 'And that my dear is how they made glue in the days of the three tribes.'
I hurled.
'You see? Defying the laws of nature isn't that hard. My little pony, you shall be my masterpiece.'
'What, what good does that do?' I asked in my head.
' My little pony, do you forget your lessons so quickly?'
"I dear say. Little filly. This is a fool's question. But are you alright?"
I was thrown for a loop as I rolled one eye to look up at a unicorn stallion with a really big horn. White hide, blue mane, mustache, monocle, blue eyes, three crowns for a cutie mark. Fancy tuxedo too.
Next to him was this model unicorn mare. You could tell she was a model from how skinny she was. What did models eat for breakfast? Air? She had a Fleur-de-Lis on her flanks, like that thing Applebloom got when her 'infect myself to give myself a cutie mark' scheme backfired.
She had a really pale white and pink mane and make up. She was naked. After seeing so many ponies dressed up, it was weird seeing a pony going around with nothing on like in Ponyville.
She said nothing, but did give me an appraising look but... she didn't look like she was judging me. She looked at me like I was a pony.
"I'm fine." I say almost like a reflex. Kinda weird how used to complaining I am.
"That is a very poor lie," The stallion said.
I felt a bit ashamed, yes, it was.
'Don't worry, my little pony, sometimes a poorly told lie attracts more sympathy than an expertly told one.'
"Where are your parents?" The mare asked holding her nose a bit.
I must have stank like a Diamond Dog. Miss Rarity didn't like them.
I struggled to think of what lie to use. "My mom's in the crazy house. And my great-greatpa helped found Ponyville where my mansion is."
The two looked at each other like I was crazy (that hurt). Then they looked back at me.
"What's your name then, er, miss?" The stallion asked a bit unsure.
"I'm Diamonds," I said.
"Very well Diamonds. I am Fancy Pants and she is Fleur-de-Lis. I'm sure this might sound rude to a pony of your position. But, you don't seem quite well, and perhaps you'd like a place to recover?"
I had a very powerful mental image flash in my mind. Of me being in the place with my mother.
I took a few steps back. "I'm not crazy." I couldn't keep the fear out of my voice.
"We never said you were. But you do look sick and you look slightly... disheveled. Would you care to spend a short afternoon with us? We had nothing planned."
'How did you know they wouldn't just throw money at my hooves and walk away or talk louder when they got near me?' I asked.
'I didn't. I figured they WOULD throw money at your hooves. Or offer you a free meal and wash you up first. And given who these two are, this one has a track record of taking ponies in Canterlot under his wing. It was a fair gamble. Now don't worry. The mental ward is outside Canterlot, so if they try something like that, I can help you much more directly than here. For now just go with them, 'Diamonds.' '
'Yes, fa-. Okay.'
I obey.