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// Chapter 27: Ponies at Walmart Part 2—Toy Section 
// Story: Pandemic: Starting Over 
// by Halira 
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Certain constants existed in the world, things that would be true, no matter how much the world changed. One thing that could be counted on ever since I was a small child was that if I walked around the toy section of a major store, there would be Transformers action figures. The world had been irreparably changed in the last decade, but this simple fact of life remained the same. 

"They can be switched back and forth between a robot man and a robot pony," I explained to the two older colts as I held up the package of Optimus Alicornis. 

Shǔguāng and Líng looked at the toy, then looked at me, then looked at the toy again. The looks on their faces screamed, Is this supposed to be interesting?

"Oh, come on! Transformers are cool!" I said in disappointed frustration. "I played with them all the time when I was a little girl."

"Cool? They are cold?" Líng asked. 

I shook my head. "No, cool, like really good and fun."

The two colts looked at one another as if trying to see if the other understood what I was going on about. 

I floated the toy into the cart. "You know what? I'm just going to get this for myself because I think it's interesting. You two can look at the toys up and down this aisle, but don't leave it."

The two colts brightened up and walked away to investigate the various action figures and vehicles around them.

I lit up my horn and floated Mèng onto my back. The smaller colt gave off a quick yelp of surprise when I grasped him with my magic but didn't struggle. I almost moved Qīng Yǔ onto Lántiān's back, but stopped myself. 

Instead, I turned to Lántiān and motioned to her daughter. "Can you collect up your daughter so we can look for toys for these two younger ones in the next section?"

She nodded and flew over the cart, grabbing her daughter out of the seat with her mouth and depositing her on her back. Moe took the flying pony two feet in front of his face without so much as flinching. 

"Will you two gentlemen please keep an eye on the colts and make sure they stay here?" I asked. "The two of us should be right back. If they find anything they want, add it to the cart."

"If that's what you want, Miss Blessing," Larry answered. "Miss Growth is paying us to do whatever you need, at least for the next four hours."

I wondered how much they got paid, not that it was any of my business. 

"Come along," I instructed Lántiān. "We can find some Fisher-Price toys and stuffed animals for these two."

The filly gave me a confused look. "Fisher priced? Why do we need toys priced for fishermen, ma'am? Is there something special about a fisherman's wage?"

"It's the name of the company. They make toys for toddlers," I explained as I led her to the next area. "Did you want a toy as well?"

"Why would I want a toy, ma'am?"

"You're never too old to have toys. I'm getting myself one, didn't you see? Adults buy toys for themselves all the time."

A woman who had been on the aisle gave me a dirty look and stormed away. It took me only a millisecond to realize why. Humans had such dirty minds and took everything out of context.

Lántiān seemed to have been unaware of the exchange. "I thought you were getting it to try to interest my brothers in it later because you were disappointed that they found it dull, ma'am."

I turned and looked at her. "Well, perhaps, in part, but if they don't like it doesn't mean I won't enjoy having it. I wasn't lying when I said I played with toys like that when I was young. A little nostalgia never hurt anyone. I can sit and play with it as I think, like a stress ball."

"Ma'am, what's a stress ball?"

I paused it. "It's a little bean bag that you squeeze in your—you know what, nevermind."

We started walking down the aisle, and as is instinctive for everyone surrounded by little buttons that said push me, I started pushing buttons to see what would happen. 

"The cow goes moo! Moooo!" A picture of a cow and the word moo flashed on the plastic earth pony's stomach. Why they chose this design, I had no idea. Perhaps the designer had no idea how to adjust a toy for a pony, and this was the pathetic attempt to do so. I pushed the same button again. "The chicken clucks! Bak bak bak!" The exact spot lit up with an image of a chicken and the word cluck, which made little sense if they were going to make a bak bak bak noise. 

I glanced at Mèng to try to judge his interest, but found it hard to do. Needing more feedback, I levitated him off my back so he could walk around and help me figure out what he found appealing. Lántiān followed my lead and deposited Qīng Yǔ on the ground. Lántiān then started carefully pulling stuffed animals out of a nearby bin and showing them to her daughter one by one.

Mèng wandered beside the toys without touching or engaging anything. I followed closely behind, and was getting a triffle bit annoyed that he wasn't making this any easier. Deciding to speed this along, I walked up to a toy he could easily see and pushed a button.

What looked like a picture of a toy train flashed lights along it and played a jingle. "Hi! Let's play! Can you find the letter C?"

The flashing lights and music succeeded in getting his attention, and he almost put his nose up to the thing to examine it.

The toy flashed its lights again. "Do you need help? Find the letter C!"

Mèng turned and gave me a confused look, and I reached out and pushed the appropriate button. 

"Yea! You found the letter C! Can you find the letter M?" Mèng still did not seem to know what to do, so I made a tapping motion with a hoof and hoped he'd figure it out. He turned back to the toy and pressed the B button. The toy made a wah-wah sound. "Sorry, that's the letter B! Find the letter M!"

Mèng giggled and proceeded to start hitting buttons at random. The toy could barely get out a response before trying to give the next reaction. 

"Ma'am, you are aware he is awake all night, right?" Lántiān asked as she watched her daughter grab and snuggle a stuffed husky.

I frowned at her. "I'm well aware of that."

She gave me a look that screamed, Are you stupid? "And that we are trying to sleep at that time; the time he will be playing with this toy, ma'am?"

She had a point, but it brought to mind a different concern for me. "Tell me, are we expected to keep his brothers and your daughter silent while he sleeps? I can't very well require kids to remain silent that often. It would also be extremely unfair if I required him to keep silent all night and didn't require the same out of them during the day. I am not going to raise him with a different set of behavior standards just because he's nocturnal."

I could tell by the look on her face that she disagreed, but she kept it to herself. 

After trying to interest Qīng Yǔ in a few further stuffed animals, and failing, Lántiān picked her daughter up, while Qīng Yǔ continued to hold onto the fuzzy toy dog. I wondered if it might be a good idea to get a puppy, once we had moved into the new place. I was more of a cat person, but I remembered the difficulties Tonya sometimes had with Satan. Cats would be cats, and effectively untrainable, and I didn't want a cat terrorizing tiny little Qīng Yǔ to try to get her feathers. Tonya had been a grown adult who could deal with a pesky feline; Qīng Yǔ would find a cat far more intimidating and threatening. Plus, the benefit of a dog was it could also act as an extra defender for them, in addition to being a pet. It was something to consider, once we were settled, and I knew what Wild's house rules would be.

I let Mèng try out some other toys and finally settled on an electronic tablet with various activities loaded into it, with the option of downloading more. It was a toy that talked to him, and hopefully, that would help him develop his language skills. Once that was settled, I returned him to my back and levitated the toy along to the shopping carts.

Lántiān returned her daughter to the seat of the cart and did not attempt to separate Qīng Yǔ from the plushy, which might have ended in a temper tantrum if it had been tried. 

The two school-aged colts were still browsing the section, picking up and investigating toys, before setting them back on shelves. A night pony stallion wearing a Walmart vest was following along and moving toys from spot to spot. He had dark navy-blue fur and a mix of deep blue and black in his mane and tail. His mark reminded me a lot of Josie's, an outline of an eye. I wondered what the eye meant, as I'd now seen some variation twice on night ponies. It could be just an odd coincidence, though.

I could hear the worker grumbling to himself, even if the colts were ignoring him. I was reasonably sure he hadn't realized their guardian was on the aisle as well. "I work so hard to keep this nice and organized, and is it too much work for foals to put things back where they found them? Adults are just as bad—no wonder the foals can't show respect. Bad enough I have to work the first shift, but can't they show some respect for other ponies' hard work?"

I wanted to say something about his unprofessional behavior but didn't want to make a scene. I just caught sight of his name tag, naming him Keen Eye—which I guessed explained the mark, and noted it. If he decided to address either of the colts like that directly, I would have some words to say with a manager. 

I placed the toy in a cart and returned Mèng to his seat before turning to his brothers. "Have you made any selections yet?"

The two colts excitedly pointed at some action figures. I wasn't surprised when I saw that they were Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 

"They're like the show but look different. There are ponies too," Shǔguāng said, as he pulled a rather buffed looked Raphael figure off the rack. 

"They've redone the series a few times, and you have only seen the original cartoon. All the great cartoons from when I was a kid get rebooted over and over—except The Simpsons, that one keeps going and going," I explained. I looked at the action figures and decided to head off trying to figure out which characters to get. "If I get one of each figure, do you two agree to share and to share with your little brother if he wants to play with them overnight, and let him play with you?"

The two nodded enthusiastically, and I turned to the two agents. "Can you two gentlemen please look through the shelf and add one of each figure to the cart?" I paused and considered. "And if you see any foot soldiers, add four of those as well. I always found it annoying as a child to only have one of those when they were supposed to be an army."

Larry and Moe went to work gathering the toys and adding them to the cart. This would leave neither of the older colts with a personal toy if these were all supposed to be shared as a group. "I think I'm going to get each of you a personal stuffed animal as well. Since Qīng Yǔ has already chosen one for herself and is unlikely to play with the action figures, she will need another small toy or two—just to keep everything fair."

By the time we were done with the toy section, Qīng Yǔ had added a stuffed octopus and a tiny plush doll of Fluttershy to her plushy pile; Shǔguāng had a stuffed dragon; Líng had a stuffed crocodile; Mèng had gotten a stuffed lion, and I had also added a small selection of balls and a few head-mounted water cannons which were the pony equivalent of water guns. I even convinced Lántiān to get a stuffed animal, an obese hamster that could have doubled as an extra pillow, after picking out a plush cat for myself. All and all, it was a very impressive toy haul that filled one of the carts to the top.

I pondered over where to go next. "Let's see, I need to replace my phone still, and I probably need to get one for you, Lántiān."

"Why do I need a phone, ma'am?"

I smiled at her. "I want you to have a way of contacting me if you need me while you're out or when I need to leave for short periods. It gives me peace of mind and should give you peace of mind as well, knowing you can reach me if I'm not home."

"I understand, ma'am." I couldn't tell if she was pleased or not. She was giving me those infuriatingly neutral responses again. Most teens would be thrilled at having a new phone. At least there was no fight. 

There was another reason I hadn't mentioned. Most phones these days had GPS trackers, which would allow me to track her when she went out on her flights. It wasn't that I expected her to get up to no good, but I felt better if I always knew where she was. I didn't think she would realize that the account holders or emergency services could track the phones, and if she ever decided to run away, I had a good chance of finding her if she didn't ditch her cellphone.

"Electronics section next, to get the phones," I decided. "After that, we will try to find some sketchbooks, drawing guides, and pencils. We'll see about saddlebags after that, and then finish up by getting groceries."

I loathed wearing clothing, but it might be a good idea to start wearing something that could cover up my mark. Even after I dyed my fur and mane, my mark would still announce who I really was. Necessity forced people to do things they didn't like all the time, and there were worse things to fuss about than being forced to wear a dress. I'd look into it at the same time we were looking for saddlebags.

Something bumped into me from behind, and I yelped and jumped. Larry and Moe moved quickly to bring down my assailant. 

"What, what? I'm sorry! I didn't mean to bump her! I just wasn't watching where I was going! Please don't kill me!"

I turned to see a brown-furred night pony stallion with a deep blue mane with some grey in it getting pinned to the ground by the two agents. I noticed he had eyes of two different colors and had been wearing glasses that were now lying a few feet away from him. 

"Jesus! Let him go! Do you want to get us arrested for assault?!" I cried out in disbelief. I usually didn't use the Lord's name in such a way, but I was too shocked to care. 

They released him, looking abashed. "Sorry, it was a night pony—and we all know that night ponies are highly aggressive."

My mouth dropped. They couldn't be serious. "What the fuck?!  I have a daughter and three grandfoals who are night ponies—you are helping guard a night pony! Where the hell do you get off saying something so tribalist about-" I could barely speak; I was so mad. 

I hurried over to the stallion and helped him to his hooves. "I'm so sorry. These men are supposed to be guarding me. I deeply apologize." I levitated his glasses onto his face. "If there is anything I can do to make up for this, please, just say it." Please don't say you'll take me to court.

The stallion seemed a little dazed still but shook his head. "I suppose I can't fault someone for being protective. In the good old days, right after ETS, Sha'am might have disemboweled me if she thought I was assaulting her." His mismatched eyes focused on me and widened. "Your Phobia Remedy's mother, right? You don't need to apologize. I am mortified that I might have hurt a Dreamwarden's mother. I'll just excuse myself. It was an honor meeting you."

The stallion made good on his word, retreating off the aisle as if he was about to face the wrath of God. I couldn't complain; that could have been a lawsuit. 

I turned to my supposed bodyguards. "If you are so worked up about a customer bumping into me, then how did someone get that close to me, to begin with? What kinds of guards are you anyway?"

Moe rubbed a hand against the back of his head. "Um, technically, we are IT techs. It was looking like it would be a slow day, and the local office got a call from Miss Growth to send someone out to help you shop. They just called us into the manager's office, gave us a company credit card, keys to a company car, and told us to do what you wanted till the end of our shift."

"We might have gotten carried away with the SPEC agent thing," Larry said in a low voice. "I mean, we're guarding a really high profile pony."

I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream at them, at the manager at the SPEC office, and at Wild. I knew she sounded hungover! She probably called the office and gave as vague instructions as possible so she could go back and nurse her hangover. Biting the figurative hand that fed me was never my way, but she and I were going to have words.

I shook my head in exasperation. "No more jumping to my rescue! You do what you are told, and that's it. Got it?" 

"Yes, ma'am." The two said in chorus. 

If there wasn't more that needed to be bought and they weren't the ones that had the money, along with our ride, I would have dismissed them. There was still shopping to do, and they were our ride, so I would just have to endure the two stooges for the time being.