//------------------------------//
// Task 9: and wait 
// Story: blue wallflower 
// by Mica 
//------------------------------//

On the coldest night of the year, excuse yourself from dinner early. If you live alone, leave behind half a plate of food. You shouldn’t be eating meat anyway.

Go to your room, grab the rope, and a chair. Do a quick Google search on your phone on how to tie a noose. Quickly scroll past the large phone number on the top of your screen, chipping your nail in the process.

Get everything set up. Stand on the stool. Stare at the noose. Do not put your head through it.

Just stand there on the stool.

And wait.

Wait for no reason.

Do not admit that you are afraid. Do not admit that you are nervous.

Stick your hands into the noose, and let your wrists press against the rope while your hands hang limply over the other side.

Spend about an hour standing on the stool, thinking about things that you shouldn’t be thinking about. You will be dying in a few minutes and all you can think about is the weird smell on the sheets that you haven’t washed yet. Or the open notebook on your desk with the last problem on the homework half-finished.

Do not complete the problem. Even if you want to. No, it’s not going to be overdue. It’s not going to be late. Nothing will be late. Nothing will be early. Nothing will be on time. You must understand that. You must understand that. 

How are you so normal?

How are you so normal?

There is no echo in the room. The sound of your voice is soft, and cushioned.

Take your wrists out of the noose. Do not hang yourself. Jump off the stool. Be careful, you might sprain your ankle again, because you’re just too damn short.

Call your crush’s phone number. Put it on speaker. Stare at her name on the screen. 

Listen to the dial tone. Maybe she will answer, and come to save you. Or maybe she will not be available.

22 seconds until it switches to voicemail. 

Keep listening to the dial tone.

Listen. And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Imagine that moment. 

And wait.

And wait.

The two of you together, standing under the shadow of the Singing Tree.

Create the darkness with your eyelids, and try to picture the moment. You will not see it. You will just see a big blotch of color from staring at your bright phone screen for too long. Dully bright. 

Orange, like a Sunset. Shimmering. All encompassing.

It kind of looks like a blue whale. If blue whales were orange.

And wait.

And wait,