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// Task 6: go back 
// Story: blue wallflower 
// by Mica 
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I want you to go back to the forest, during a cold, grey, rainy winter day. Wear the cute outfit that you always wished that your crush would admire. Smile in front of the mirror. There’s absolutely no reason why you should be smiling, but smile anyway. 

Return to the big tree that you once stood under. Take with you a rope, a piece of paper, a pencil, and a ladder. Locate the branch that you had determined will support your weight.

Do not kill yourself. You will not be able to. The branch is too high and your ladder is too short. You are too short. You are too damn short. You are so damn short that every shadow swallows you up in its big, gaping, dark mouth.

The sun is setting. The biggest shadow of all emerges.

This shadow is completely silent.

Do not write a note. It will be too cold for you to feel your fingers. 

Jump off the top of the ladder, without hanging yourself. It’s only a five foot drop onto soft ground, but you’re so damn short. You might almost sprain your ankle. Sink your body into the leaf litter. Grab a leaf. Crumple the leaf. The leaf is dead. The leaf is a corpse. You are lying amongst a field of a million corpses that have snapped off and fallen off the branch.

You should be so lucky. You should be so damn lucky to be the sole survivor.

Scream.

Scream as loud as you can while there is still a blue tint all around you. Everything is blue water.

You are underwater. And yet, you are breathing just fine. You are just fine. You are just fine. You are just fi—

SCREAM.

Kick the blue ladder. Kick the blue tree as hard as you can. Kick the blue branch because it snapped and fell only an inch from your head. Kick the blue ground that must be the calloused body of a giant blue whale pushing you up. 

Curse at the whale.

Curse at the whale, like the sinner you are.

Beg the whale for forgiveness and salvation.

You know, I made up the whole story about the blue whale. 

There’s no blue whale that comes to save you. It’s never that obvious. If the thing that will save us from the darkness were so obvious and superhumanly large, we would all worship the blue whale. 

We don’t all worship the blue whale.

So I don’t know why I even told you that story. I just kind of felt like telling you it.

You do not need to send anything to me for this task. I trust that you will do this.