Big Macintosh
Twilight stood at the fields of Sweet Apple Acres, where Applejack and Big Macintosh listened to her explanation on Spike getting possessed "And I don't even know where he is! That skull could have taken him anywhere!"
Applejack frowned "Well shucks, Twi! What were y'all thinkin' bringin' back some strange skull t' yer place? But at least ya brought it up t' me 'fore things got worse! Ah'll be glad t' help ya out!" She smiled at her friend.
Twilight returned it in kind "Thank you very much, Applejack. We better hurry unless something else bad might happen to Spike!"
Applejack nodded "Ya got it, sugarcube! Let's saddle up on outta here!" She turned to her big brother "Big Mac! Can ya handle th' crops while Ah'm away with Twi?"
Big Macintosh nodded with his signature phrase to go with his laidback exspression "Eeyup."
Applejack smiled "Thank ya kindly! Ah'll be back soon, big brother! Ya jus' do yer thing while Ah do mine!" She turned to Twilight "Let's move, Twi! Spike sure as cider ain't gonna find himself!" The two mares galloped back into Ponyville in search of Spike, leaving Big Macintosh to do the yard work around his home.
The red stallion decided to go to the barn to grab some gear before he wanted to plow the fields. When inside, he looked around the many hay bales for his favorite plow. He was successful in his search, but Big Macintosh did a double take when he noticed a strange skull sitting atop his plow, leering at him with tantalizing ruby eyes. There was a strange red '7' on its forehead. He only casted a look of utter bemusement.
"Be not afraid, big stallion of red!
I am not one to cause severe dread!"
Very poor choice of words. Big Macintosh narrowed his eyes at the skull as he went to go take it off and possibly throw it in the nearest rubbish bin before getting back to his chores. The skull looked slightly frightened.
"Don't cast me aside like a small piece of waste!
I can assure you that your desires can be fulfilled posthaste!"
Big Macintosh halted in his position when he heard the skull talk. This one was serious in his words. He drew back his hoof as he stared down at the skull "An' who are ya t' make this claim, if y'all don't mind me askin'?"
"My name is Thromnambular, and I'm a generous man!
I can grant you a wish of whatever you plan!"
The red stallion arched an eyebrow "Anythin'?" Thromnambular scoffed.
"What you should know is that I'm true to my word!
I assure you, what I say is the least bit absurd!
Just be very specific with what you ask,
Or you may end up giving me a halfhearted task!"
Big Macintosh looked down and wondered if it was the best coruse of action to talk to a strange skull who claims he can grant wishes. In a way, this chance brought out the colt inside of Big Macintosh, and the colt inside of him will know what kind of a regretful red stallion he'll become if he didn't take this chance. With a deep breath, Big Macintosh dug through his brain in search of the perfect wish. After a small moment of thinking, the red stallion smiled to himself "Eeyup..." Thromnambular looked curious and confused.
"Eeyup to what? Are you talking to yourself?
Don't ignore me like that! Explain your-...thyself!"
Big Macintosh nodded "Iffin' yer a man o' yer word, Mr. Thromnambular, then perhaps y'all 're willin' t' help me on a certain matter..." He looked down as he pawed at the ground "Y'see...My Granny Smith wasn't kiddin' when she labeled me as a handsome stallion...But Ah never thought it'd get me so much attention every time Ah go int' town t' sell some o' my produce. No matter where Ah go in Ponyville, a mare's right there t' oggle me almost all day, an' it just ain't right t' me. Some o' them try to distract me from my work, too. Which is why Ah...Ah..." He took a deep breath before he continued "Ah wish Ah was no longer attractive t' th' mares! All they want is my figure an' not me..." His eyes widened when Thromnambular floated upward while glowing brightly.
"So the lady's man wishes to be mare repellant!
To the opposite sex, seeming most repugnant!
You will no longer be seen by beautiful mares
So that you may work without their tranced stares!"
Thromnambular laughed as the red '7' on his head spun around rapidly before slowing down and being replaced with a red '6'. He then glowed brightly as he vanished out of the barn.
Big Macintosh rubbed his eyes and looked around in shock and bemusement before inspecting himself. Nothing seemed out of place since he was himself and not some kind of abominable beast. He decided to trot out of the barn and into Ponyville to see if Thromnambular's wish had worked.
The red stallion walked around town, and he noticed that each mare he passed had greeted him with their heads quickly turning away, reluctant winces, dirty looks, or a forced smile and wave. It seemed to be the worst thing to happen to a stallion, but not for Big Macintosh. When he was at a good distance, he nodded to himself proudly with a satisfied smile "Eeyup..." It seems his wish was specific enough towards Thromnambular...
"Hey! Big Macintosh!"
Or was it? Big Macintosh turned to see a black pegasus with a white mohawk fly towards him with a wide smile on his face. He stopped in front of him as he looked up with the most eager yellow eyes seen on any stallion "Man, are you a sight for sore eyes! I'm glad to find you like this!!"
Big Macintosh was confused. Since when has he ever even conversed with this pegasus? He arched an eyebrow "And y'all are?"
The pegasus chuckled awkwardly "Oh, right! I forgot we haven't talked to each other before! It's just that I heard you're the most amazing stallion alive! A stallion's stallion! By the way, the name's Thunderlane!" He waggled his eyebrows "Like that name?"
Big Macintosh pieced together all that had just happened: They indeed haven't talked, The red stallion was considered a 'stallion's stallion', and Thunderlane apparently waggled his eyebrows as if he were trying to impress a mare. His eyes widened before he backed away "Err, Thunderlane, was it? Ah don't feel mighty comfortable talkin' like this. Ya think maybe y'all can skedaddle while I go back t' work on th' farm?"
Thunderlane nonchalantly trotted up to Big Macintosh as he backed away "Well, why don't I just watch you? I heard your sweat makes your coat glisten in the sun!" He looked giddy "It sounds so amazing, I just wanna see for myself!"
Yep. Nothing to do here. Big Macintosh easily sped away, leaving Thunderlane looking hurt "Big Macintosh! Wait! Let me love you!!!" He said as he took off after the red stallion with his forehooves stretched out as if beckoning for a hug.
Big Macintosh galloped away from Thunderlane and managed to hide in the nearest music store as he opened the door and slammed it behind him after he quickly entered. He caught his breath before he gave a relieved sigh and decided to take refuge in the establishment until the whole thing blows over.
He looked ahead to see Vinyl Scratch working the counter, and noticing him with a slight wince "Oh...Hey there, Big Mac. Hang on, let me just go in the back for a second..." She said in a reluctant tone as she went into the back room "Noteworthy! You got work!" She said as she went further back.
Big Macintosh tilted his head before he noticed the blue stallion with a music note cutie mark trot up to the counter. He instantly grinned at Big Macintosh's appearance when he caught sight of him "Big Macintosh! Fancy meeting you here! What would you like today?"
The red stallion shook his head "Sorry, Noteworthy. Ah ain't in no mood fer purchasin' any instrument or record..." He looked outside slightly frightened "Ah don't want Thunderlane t' find me..."
Noteworthy tilted his head "Stallion trouble, huh? Do you not like him?"
Big Macintosh shook his head "Nnnnope!"
Noteworthy nodded "I see...Well, since you don't like Thunderlane..." He then grinned "Does that mean you like me instead?"
Big Macintosh instantly zipped out of the music store and out of Noteworthy's sight as he looked around "Huh? Big Macintosh, where'd you go!?" He said as he then turned to the back "Vinyl Scratch! I'm leaving early today!" After hearing a faint ' 'kay!', Noteworthy leaped over the counter and went on a hunt for a sexy red stallion.
Big Macintosh galloped away further along Ponyville, dealing with a majority of mares giving him the same treatment as before, and he cursed himself when he passed the large white pegasus known as Snowflake. He took notice of Big Macintosh and flew after him with a big "YEEEEEAAAAH!!!"
It was unbearable. Instead of being attracted to mares, Big Macintosh was now the apple (figuratively speaking) of every stallion's eye. He gasped when he saw Thunderlane swoop down from the air with a grin on his face "Big Mac! There you are! I was wondering where you were the whole time!"
Big Macintosh stifled a squeak before he mustered his farmpony's strength and picked up the pace in his gallop. Now he's being chased by three stallions right now wanting to have a piece of him. The worst part was that they were gradually catching up. He looked around for another place to hide, and his woes were doubled when he saw the resident tennis champion Ace up ahead.
Ace was effortlessly practicing bouncing a tennis ball on his racket with his teeth, and after he saw Big Macintosh, he spat out and disregarded his racket as he smiled at the running stallion "Hey, Big Mac! You going my way?"
Big Macintosh could not take it anymore. He had to get back to the farm where it was safe. He yelled as he turned from Ace and ran away from the small group of stallions following after him as he made his way back.
A blank flank zebracorn was sitting on a bench while reading a newspaper with a bored expression until he perked up and heard Big Macintosh yell and gallop. When the red stallion passed him, the zebracorn only watched in confusion while Big Macintosh was being chased. When he was far away, the zebracorn winced "Ugh...Get a tan..." He then went back to reading his newspaper.
_____
Spike waddled to and fro along different buildings in search of Twilight. He was in severe unease over the thought of Thromnambular running wild in Equestria "She's gotta be here somewhere!" He said as he looked around. The purple dragon had already checked the library, but Twilight was nowhere to be found. He checked each possible spot she would be in and saw neither hide nor hair of his technical older sister.
While he searched, Spike stood up as he heard yelling and a distantly growing sound of several hoofbeats. He looked behind him and saw Big Macintosh running away from a group of grinning stallions. Spike stood dumbstruck at the sight "...What just happened??" he paused until his mind clicked with a possible answer. Spike needed to find Twilight double time and stop that skull, wherever he may be hiding.
3 down...6 to go...