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// Chapter 10: Falling up 
// Story: What you Need 
// by Hemlock conium 
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It felt as though the world around me was flipped upside down as I was awoken once more. Everything else seemed to be locked in time, unmoving, unchanging except me. I could feel the tug of gravity yanking on me like a leash; trying to yank me back down.  The unusual feeling twisted my stomach in knots. I'd have called it vertigo, but vertigo didn't involve everything seeming like it had switched places. All while my stomach did mini cart wheels on loop.  

“PHOENIX!” Dr. Mirage shouted. I blinked several times as I looked back down, up? To him. He was like an anchor in this messed up world; keeping me locked in place and from falling. 
“Are you ready to leave yet?” Dr. Mirage's voice strained with a strong sense of urgency. As if someone had just informed him the building were about to blow up and he needed to be out yesterday. Only the stress seemed to be directed at me. 
After several more moments of silence Dr. Mirage let out a frustrated groan as his hoof taped impatiently on the tile floor with a click clack. 
“We don't have all day,” he added. I simply gave an incohesive groan as I laid back in bed. I didn't want to get up, nothing felt right today.  When did it ever feel right? 

“Phoenix I Swear to-” Mirage stopped himself short of saying something he'd probably regret, “Ughhh!” Mirage spat a number of profanities under his breath as he made his way out my room. What happened next I can't quite recall, partly because I started to slip back away into sleep, and partly because I rolled back over to gaze at my long since frosted over window. It was a comforting sight, familiar and one of the two constants in my life right now. 
One day I was on Earth, the next Equestria. One day an adult, the next a foal. One day a guy, now a filly. Then just as I’d come to a point I expected to wake up in my hospital room I was being forced to go to Cloudsdale. Not to mention the room was upside down now too I thought as I felt my stomach churn again. 
 Sleep was my other constant. It was also my escape from this confusing reality I found myself stuck in. But, it wasn't a true escape, it was more like a yo-yo in that regard. One moment I was free of this existence, and the next I was back. Forcefully yanked back into its clutches. 
My hooves clutched my chest between my rolling black outs, as I rode on the line between sleep and reality. Outside I could hear the pitter patter of the storms winds intermixed with hoof steps just outside my door. As one grew in intensity the other died down only for their roles to reverse. Until finally the wind’s howls drowned out the hospital’s ambulance. I let myself become enthralled by the soothing noise as it blocked out the noises of Equestria. At the very least the wind was almost like home. I could almost picture myself back on Earth. Almost there, I thought as memories of Earth filled my head. But just as I began to return I was once again torn away and placed back in Equestria by r the voice of nurse Pink Heart. 
“Phoenix...If it's really that bad,” she began, “we could try and arrange something closer.” I, however, wasn't in the mood for negotiations. Instead I whined and kicked like a newborn. I wanted to go back! I didn't want to be here! I didn't want this! I wanted out of my existence!

While in the heat of the moment I didn't notice it, I would soon come later to see she had shirked back, ears folded down in defeat. She said nothing, instead she let her sorrow filled eyes speak for her. Though what the message was I couldn't quite make out in my frustration. It seemed to be something between regret and pity. Then with that, she left me for the last time. I was alone, just as I had wanted it. Alone in my room; able to drift back to my sanctuary. Away from reality and away from everyone else.  



 

“No luck,” Mirage asked as Pink Heart stepped out of Phoenix’s room. 

“No,” Pink answered with a long and defeated sigh,“ She just started throwing a fit when I tried to talk to her.”

“Well unfortunately she can't stay here anymore,” Dr. Bright interjected.

“Quite right,” Mirage agreed, “I've already filled out my paperwork and I'd hate to have to fill out more.” The comment earned Mirage a sideways glare from the two other ponies. 
“There's also the matter that most of the hospital staff, your sleeves included, will be out for hearths warming,” Mirage added.
“She needs a place now that can watch over her. Not shove pills down her throat.” 

“Poor girl, she's going to spend hearth's warming alone.” Pink Heart mumbled. 

“Oh please, I'm sure the staff at Wings of care will treat her just fine,” Mirage ensured as he waved his hoof dismissively at the comment, ”plus she’ll have all the friends she could ever want there.”
 Dr. Bright held back the urge to bite his lip at the comment. While his research into the orphanage had proven it was a fine place, the rumors on the other hoof...Left him uneasy. While they were unsubstantiated rumors, the amount of them he'd heard made him always second guess this choice. Dr. Mirage insisted it was top of the line care for foals in need of a good home, but then again he insisted that everything in Cloudsdale was top of the line. Even a restaurant that had given him food poisoning on three occasions... But there was nothing more Bright Spark could do. The foal was no longer under hospital jurisdiction, aside from the fact she was using a room. 

After a long pause Dr. Bright glanced at the hallways clock before shaking his head “If you’ll both forgive me I must excuse myself. My Sister is expecting me in Baltimare and my train leaves here in the next hour.” 

“By all means go ahead don't have us keep you waiting,” Mirage replied.

“Have a great Hearth's warming Doctor.” Pink Heart bided. With that Dr. Bright gave his fair wells as he made his way out. This simply wasn't his place to intervene anymore, even if he wanted too. Pink Heart shifted a bit in place as they were left alone. 
Mirage lifted a brow at her reaction before commenting.

“I take it you have plans too?” 

“Yeah. I guess I should get going. I trust you can get Phoenix?” Pink heart gave a hopeful and sheepish grin. To which Mirage suppressed a groan. 

“Yes I can get her. Have a good Hearth’s Warming Nurse Pink Heart.”  The nurse gave a relieved sigh at his response. 

“You too Dr. Mirage,” Pink heart chimed as she made her way out; leaving Mirage just outside Phoenix’s door.

“Now how to get her out?…” The pegasus mumbled to himself for a few minutes longer before devising a plan. 



 

I felt a whine build up in my throat as my body became bitterly cold. The air around me felt like a wind tunnel, filled with sharp bits of ice that cut through the blanket of sleep. My body instinctively curled up to conserve its warmth; causing it to brush up against an icy metal surface. If I wasn't awake before, I was now. My body bolted up with a whine of discomfort as the surface drained my body dry of warmth. 
As my eyes shot revealing me to be in a carriage. No scratch that, a sky carriage. It was made of a study, well built, cedar frame coated in what appeared to be aluminum, painted to look like gold. I suppose it made sense, even with magic, they probably had to be built to be light. Thankfully this meant the wood was at least bearable, the walls on the other hand were a poor excuse for an insulator. 

“You're finally up,” a familiar voice called. 
 I guess they grabbed me after I slipped off...Wonderfull  

“You’ll be happy on our way up to Cloudsdale, which is much warmer than this Celestia forsaken winter wonderland.” Dr. Mirage continued on. I looked up at the chocolate colored pony for a moment, debating to tell him that I didn’t want to go to the stupid orphanage.  But then again, what do I want? The question left my head a jumbled mess; bring back with it a sense of the world being flipped. I gripped the sky carriage anxiously as if I might fall out and plummet to my death. 

 Mirage noticing my reaction asked, “A pegasus scared of heights?” His tone suppressed a sound of amusement. I wanted to tell him off...As a human at least, I loved heights, the feeling of the wind. It was a magical place far removed from the Earth and her woes. Where I was free of the constraints of problems and others. Which would have made being a pegasus rather ideal, unfortunately I didn't know how to fly. A fact Mirage should be aware of…
Oh well, I thought with a sigh. Mirage gave me a reassuring shoulder rub as we continued down to Cloudsdale.