//------------------------------//
// 2. White Lightning 
// Story: At Home on the Range 
// by chief maximus 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 2-White Lightning


Rainbow studied her hooves in boredom while the cattle drank their fill of river water. A strained sigh announced her feelings as Mac tipped his hat forward over his eyes. 

At least we have one thing in common, she thought, setting her head down on her forelegs, eager to catch up on the sleep that had been so unceremoniously denied to her this morning. A gruff response from her left shattered her attempt at relaxation. 

"Don't go to sleep."

"Why not?" she frowned in annoyance. 

"Somepony's got ta keep an eye on th' cattle," he added, "you can sleep next stop."

"Isn't that what you're for?" Rainbow shot back, her patience wearing thin. She quietly began thinking she would much rather lock herself in a padded room with the Cutie Mark Crusaders than to continue this earth pony work for another second.

"Nope, that's what you're for," Mac answered, his eyes still covered by AJ's hat. "Didn't ya hear my sister?" he teased, though she didn't see the humor.

Rainbow growled, accepting his reasoning begrudgingly. 

"Unless a'course, you're lookin' forward ta helpin' us with th' next three applebuck seasons?"

It appeared as though the stoic red stallion knew a bit more about her than he had originally let on. It would be a cold day in Celestia's chambers before she would willingly lose a bet, regardless of how tired she was. 

"Fine." 

Stupid cows. Stupid Macintosh. Stupid crappy windows.

Rainbow glared at each cow, trying to take out her frustration by gaze alone on those bovines that seemed to need a constant eye on them. After a few moments, a soft snore drifted from her right. It looked like Big Mac could give her a run for her money in the quick nap department. He may have told her to stay awake, but that didn't mean she had to stay put. After a quick stretch of the legs, she began slowly strolling around the perimeter of the resting herd. A flutter of her wings and she was on the other side of the group, thinking to herself how much it must suck to be a cow.

Rainbow scanned the heavens for a cloud to lie on, only to be met with a clear blue sky. She groaned quietly as she continued her lazy saunter around the herd. She tried to look on the bright side of her situation. All she had to do was keep a bunch of cows in line, make sure they don't get stolen, and make sure they get to Prairieville for auction. Plus there was all the clear sky she could ask for to practice her moves while the cows napped. 

Thats it Rainbow, just keep your chin up and everything-

Just as Dash had nearly completed that thought, she brought a foreleg down in a rather unfortunate result of being near cattle.

"Are you kidding me?!" 

Rainbow glared at her foreleg in disgust as she fluttered toward the river to wash it off. 

I hate cattle.

After a quick rinse and thorough inspection, Dash found herself back where she had started next to a still sleeping Big Macintosh. Something about his calm, calculating coolness bothered her, even while he slept. Rainbow couldn't comprehend his type. How could nothing arouse your passion, or anger, or, any emotion really? It was like he was some kind of farming robot, with nothing on his mind except apples and apple accessories. And sleep, obviously. 

Rainbow groaned and stomped her hooves impatiently. This trip was going to be the end of her sanity, she just knew it. Nothing and nopony for miles around, and this was just the first hour. She quickly lifted herself off the ground and began to drift aimlessly around the sky. Time seemed to fly by when Dash flew, and this was as good a time as any to speed up the hours that seemed to drag by.

Her wings growing fatigued, she spiraled slowly back down to the ground next to the napping earth stallion. Idly surveying the scene, she noticed Mac had taken off the rather large group of saddlebags and lay nearby. With curiosity and boredom getting the best of her, she wondered what an experienced cattle driver would bring on such a trip. Silently, she crawled over to the nine or so bags and flipped the first one open. 

Blankets? Its the middle of Summer! she thought closing the flap and moving on to the next pack piquing her interest.

Another quick peek revealed a bag filled with nothing but what appeared to be sticks and twigs of various sizes. 

What the... why in Equestria would we need these?

A flip of another bag revealed some rather personal items.

A harmonica, a tin of tobacco... hello, what's this?

Something below the other items struck her as odd. 

"What the..." Dash grabbed a part of the obscured item between her teeth and began to pull it out of the bag. 

She dropped it immediately and closed the flap after hearing a grunt from behind her. Startled as she was, she noticed Mac was just waking up, and hadn't seen her snooping through his things. Dash breathed a sigh of relief as Macintosh moved his hat back up on his head and stretched his legs.

"Ready ta move?" he yawned.

"Yeah," she squeaked, still relieved he hadn't caught her. 

The two of them walked back over to the herd, with Mac repeating the same hind quarter slap to get them running again. Once past the river, the gentle flatlands stretched for as far as the eye could see. Sloppy gliding gave way to bored slaloms, punctuated with the occasional glance down at the herd. She was starting to believe this was just Applejack's way of trying to get her alone with her brother. The idea of cattle rustlers seemed just a little dated to be an actual threat. 

The sun marched across the sky slowly as the cattle walked, guided only by Big Macintosh's knowledge of the route and the land. Rainbow knew they'd been on the move for much longer than last time. In fact she was fairly certain it had to have been around two in the afternoon. She had skipped breakfast for sleep, and now she was two hours past lunch. Her stomach rumbled angrily at her mistreatment as she dove down toward the red stallion steadily trotting beside the herd.

"When are we stopping for lunch?" she shouted over the thunderous hooves of the cattle. 

Mac cast her a slightly confused glance, "Lunch?"

Rainbow frowned at his reaction. "You tellin' me you don't stop to eat?" 

"Not during th' day. Breakfast and supper are th' only meals our rations can afford us," he shouted back. 

He noticed her expression and figured she had skipped out on breakfast. He figured city slickers like her weren't awake before noon anyway, so there'd be no way she'd have the drive to make food before sun up.

"There's some hay in th' bag on my left flank if ya gotta eat somethin'," he offered. 

Dash normally would have more pride, but she simply could not ignore her empty stomach any longer. 

Holding her hover, she flipped open the flap and grabbed a mouth full of hay. It was dry, and scratchy, but it was food, and that's all that mattered. While her head was in the bag, her eyes cut to the right, catching a glimpse of Mac's cropped tail flailing wildly as he kept a constant speed. She found herself following his tail down to where it joined his flank, his muscles working fluidly to keep the big stallion moving. Before she knew it she had stopped chewing and her mind drifted to how a pony could get so big. None of the other stallions in Ponyville even came close to matching him in size or strength. She had even witnessed—on rare occasion—Big Macintosh kick down entire trees on the farm.

After a few more mouth-fulls of hay, she shook such thoughts from her head and resumed her position above the herd, now thirsty as well as hungry. Rainbow stomached her dry throat and continued flying. She wasn't one to complain, and if Applejack could handle this kind of thing, she could too!

After a bit more flying, the sun began to sink low over the horizon. The cows fatigue soon began to show, their thunderous trek reduced to nothing more than a weary trot. In the middle of such wide open spaces, Mac pretty much let the herd stop where they may. 

Dash landed softly next to Big Macintosh once the cattle had settled down for the night, the evening's twilight casting a beautiful orange glow across the grasslands. Mac removed his rather weighty gear and set it next to him, digging through one of the saddle bags. In short order, he began piling some of the sticks from within in a conical shape, before producing two rocks from the same bag. 

Rainbow watched uninterested from a few feet away, wondering why they would even need a fire in cool weather.

Not thinking of any reason not to, she vocalized her thoughts, "You cold or somethin'?" 

"Not now, but it'll get that way shortly," Mac answered in his trademark monotone.

"What? It's like the middle of summer!" 

Mac stopped what he was doing and looked at her with just a hint of a condescending grin. "You've never been out under th' stars at night, have ya?" 

Truthfully, she'd had some campouts with her friends while she was in flight school, but they slept on the clouds, not beneath them. Add to that the fact that there were no clouds in the sky for her to sleep on anyway, the ground was to be her home away from home.

"No," she admitted guardedly. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothin', it just gets a little chilly at night in th' grasslands is all." 

Macintosh turned back to the fire and pulled a large knife from a saddlebag. Then, holding the handle in his teeth, he struck it repeatedly against a piece of flint, sending a shower of sparks onto the tinder. As soon as he saw an ember, he bent down and gently blew on it, coaxing the ember into a flame. A few minutes after that, a fire was blazing cheerily, the smoke chasing away the insects that had just started to buzz around.

"Besides, if you think it'll get cold tonight, just wait till if we have to cross th' wasteland." 

Rainbows ears perked up. "The wasteland?" 

"Thats right. Nothin' but barren desert for half the trip. Ya fry durin' th' day, and freeze at night. But if we make good time, we won't have to worry bout it." 

Soon the night had fallen and the fire provided the only light for miles. Rainbow considered the perils of this 'wasteland' as she glanced up at the quickly brightening night sky. The stars were unlike anything she had ever seen in Ponyville, or anywhere really. The heavens seemed to dazzle her with the uncountable amount of stars making up their galaxy. A faint glow in the center instilled in the lightning quick pegasus an alien sense of insignificance in the face of the vastness of the universe itself. 

"Ya might want ta close your jaw, or you'll catch a horsefly in there," Mac teased, having seen that expression on many a mares face when he took them out to see the stars on the far away hills of Sweet Apple Acres.

Rainbow quickly snapped out of her daze, "You worry about you. What's for dinner?"

Mac took her demanding attitude in stride as he went back to his bags and removed some dried haycakes and about a few dozen daisies. Dividing them in half, he set Dash's dinner out beside her, only to have his generosity returned with a look of suspicion. 

"That's it?" 

"You want to make it to Prairieville without starvin' don't ya?" he asked rhetorically, Rainbow's glaring lack of knowledge beginning to wear on his nerves. This was like traveling with Applebloom, except worse. Applebloom was slightly competent, and at least willing to learn. This mare didn't know anything about the outdoors, couldn't help herself, and would probably get lost out here without him to lead the way.

'Heck, at least she can fly. That's gotta count for somethin'.'      

Rainbow made quick work of her dinner, yet still found a nagging hunger in the pit of her stomach. 

"B'sides, it ain't all dry food and walkin'." he added digging into his bags, producing a jar of a clear liquid, looking almost like water. 

"I pack some spirits ta help with the hardship."

Rainbow perked up, now he was talking her language. She had never gotten her thrills from the bottle but certainly wasn't averse to knocking back a few after work with some of the other pegasi on the weather team. 

"Alright, that's more like it!" 

Mac got an honest chuckle from her enthusiasm. "Oh no, this is white lightning. It ain't for mares," he added unscrewing the lid, "The cider is in the leftmost bag there."

Rainbow was taken aback by Mac's perceived sexism. 

"Not for mares?" she growled, "You think just because I'm a girl, I can't handle your fancy booze?"

Mac sighed. I shoulda just waited till she went to sleep.

It wasn't as though Mac thought she couldn't handle it because she was a girl. He simply had yet to meet a girl that could go a few rounds and still walk a straight line. 

"No, I just don't feel like spendin' twenty minutes holdin' your mane away from your face while you're hurlin' into them bushes," he said flatly. Once again, he should have just kept his mouth shut. That was the last straw, Rainbow strode over to him and snatched the jar out of his hooves. Without thinking, she took multiple full swigs of the homemade moonshine. Before she knew it, half the jar was empty and the burning in her throat and belly raged like she had swallowed the sun itself. Her eyes watered, but her pride held back her want to gag and loudly ask how and why anypony would drink something so painful on purpose. 

"There," she panted, passing him the jar. "Wasn't so bad." 








Mac stood behind her, always the consummate gentlecolt as he held her vibrant mane back from the unpleasantness in front of her, just as he predicted he would. 

"I bet... you think... you're so funny," she panted in between heaves. "W-With your fancy... white lightning, and y-your... hat!" 

Mac rolled his eyes, knowing this was just the liquor talking.

"You Apples think you're so good...*hic* with your clothes! And-and your apples!" 

"Are you about done?" he asked impatiently, settling back on his hooves, allowing her mane to fall back into her face. 

Dash didn't want to dignify that with a response. She strode back toward the fire without a word in a bit of a wobble before settling where her legs refused to go on. She rolled onto her side, her wing ruffled and pinned beneath her. Normally she always took care to keep her wings tucked; preening was one of her least favorite activities. She allowed the other one to flop lazily over her stomach as she rested her head on the dirt. The stars still seemed to be spinning as she lay there, drunk off her flanks with a goofy grin across her face. 

Dash wasn't an angry drunk, in fact she was generally the life of the party when just enough drinks had been added. Her grudges long forgotten, she had to know how Big Mac got his sister to give up her hat. 

"Hey... Big."

"Yes Rainbow?"

She flicked her half open magenta eyes across the campfire toward the stallion with the hat in question over his eyes. His mountainous silhouette shifted slightly as he tipped his headwear up, the jar of white lightning still by his side. 

"How'd you g-get AJ... to give ya... her hat?"

Dash swore she saw a smile crack over his stoic features. "It used to be my hat."

"Pfft, you earth ponies and your clothes," she huffed, "You think you're better than the rest of us?"

Another eye roll from Macintosh followed a weary sigh. "No ma'am, just get some rest for tomorrow. We'll be gettin up with the sun." 

"Whatever..." she yawned, her eyelids finally closing on the faint glow of the dying fire and the massive shadow before her. 

Mac couldn't help but laugh at the lightweight's drunken mannerisms.

He tipped his hat back over his eyes, and rested against the saddlebags he'd been carrying. As funny as she had been these past few hours, he knew by morning she would be nursing what was in all likelyhood the worst hangover she would ever experience. 

'Well, at least she was a funny drunk.'