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// Deathbed Thoughts (Rainbow Dash) 
// Story: Deathbed Thoughts 
// by Deep 
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Dying was peaceful.

It wasn’t like the peace one has when spending a relaxing day spent with friends. No, it was like taking a much-needed nap, except with all the time in the world. 

Time for Dash to chill, to unwind after a life well-lived. To reflect.

Reflection. That was what consumed Dash the most as she slipped into the forever after, her ancient, withered body lying on a bed in the Ponyville Hospital, surrounded by grieving friends. The friends that were still alive, that was. This was a time to take stock. Of the highs. Of the lows. Of every accomplishment. Of every grand mistake that life always had. 

Dash’s mind raced to the beginning, back to her days as a filly. Despite being so young, she had done the impossible by performing a sonic rainboom. One so powerful that it tore through the Equestrian sky. She was so awesome even back then, yet so clueless on what that word truly meant. Awesome.

It wasn’t until Dash met Twilight, until she became the bearer of loyalty, until she grew her unbreakable bonds with her friends that she understood that being awesome was not about rainbooms and athletic excellence. Awesome  was every precious second Dash had spent with her friends. It was the loyalty residing within her, not only for others, but for her own dreams and ambitions. 

Throughout her life, Dash had made it a point to set every record she could. Fastest flyer. Highest altitude achieved by a pegasus. Longest distance flown in a single day. But despite all of that--the rush of victory, the roaring applause of the crowd, the fame of being the best to have ever done it--nothing came close to the little moments spent with her friends. Pranking ponies with Pinkie. Helping Fluttershy overcome her inhibitions. Reading with Twilight. All those competitive moments with Applejack. Rolling her eyes at Rarity’s overdramatisations. Working out with Spike once he hit puberty. 

Her friends really were the best. Despite their faults, they each had an aspect that Dash always admired and respected. Twilight’s devotion to her mentor and duty as a princess. Rarity’s contagious passion and drive to succeed. Fluttershy’s openness of her flaws and her will to overcome them. Applejack’s work ethic and competitive nature. Pinkie’s ability to make anytime a good time and her selfless optimism.

Though that didn’t mean that life always worked out for the group. As Twilight inevitably took over Celestia’s role, the stress often led to panic attacks. As she got older, a generalized anxiety took control of her life, leading to a heart attack before anypony in their right mind would even call her middle-aged. She survived, but she was never the same after that, at least physically. 

Rarity’s artistic endeavors led to burnouts quite a number of times, even after she had decided to focus on art over profit, but no episode was as terrifying to witness than the time she’d realized that her success was driving her competitors out of business and onto the streets. After a breakdown where she questioned the meaning of generosity, she made an oath to employ anypony whose business she had driven into closing. 

Fluttershy had it even worse. Her failure to properly tame a bear led to a child being mauled in her sanctuary. Since her devotion to kindness was unwavering, she saved the bear from being put down, and reinvented herself to become tough enough to control all of her animals. Before passing away, she grew her sanctuary to its greatest heights, and used all of the money she had earned to pay for the child’s treatment and rehabilitation. She became a source of strength for her friends, particularly to Applejack, whose faith in honesty was put to the test after she discovered her boyfriend at the time was cheating on her. She forgave him, but only after breaking up with him, of course. Though she made sure to open up her heart to future lovers, a part of her always seemed to believe the worst in others, no matter how hard she fought her cynical feelings. 

As for what happened to Pinkie… perhaps some things were better left unsaid. 

Each of the Element bearers had lived a life with at least one dark period. That was, except for Dash. 

From beginning to end, Dash’s life was one success after another. From athletic prodigy to Element bearer. From savior of Equestria to Wonderbolt. From co-ruler of the kingdom to the most accomplished athlete in Equestrian history. 

The secret to Dash’s success--Obsession.

Even when Dash was a filly, she’d been obsessed with improving herself as an athlete. No matter how amazing her performance, she had to top it. No matter how amazing her time in a race, she had to do better. And so she poured every ounce of willpower and grit she had in an effort to live up to her potential. Any time and energy she had remaining she used to save Equestria and hang out with her friends.

It was no wonder then that she had no time left over for love. 

Amidst the heroics, the training, the friendship lessons, and the tournaments, Dash had forgotten to get a special somepony. She had forgotten to build a family she could come home to. She had forgotten to experience the magic that was love. 

Forgotten really was the best way to describe it. As a young adult, every bit of Dash’s mind was directed to becoming a Wonderbolt. When she became an Element bearer, she had to balance friendship and hero work alongside her athletic dreams. And when she aged, she had to dedicate more time and energy to recovering from training and taking over Spitfire’s job. And then she had to co-rule Equestria on top of that. 

It wasn’t until Dash was in her forties--when most of her friends were married and some had children--that she realized just how lonely these decisions had made her. She had never gone on a single date. She had never kissed anypony. She had never felt the warmth of that one special mare or stallion on a cold winter night. The touch of somepony running their hoof over every inch of her body. The lips of a lover pressing against her neck. The forelegs of a soulmate wrapped around her waist as they made love to her for nights on end.

It wasn’t that there weren’t any good ponies to date. Soarin was a good choice, as was Spitfire. Applejack was another. But for some reason, Dash had never brought up the topic with any of them. The way she saw it, any mental energy that could be spent on something as sappy as love was better spent coming up with training regimens for herself and her teammates. Any time that could be wasted on a date could be used to teach new Wonderbolt candidates tricks to improve their flight time. Any passion that could be thrown away on a kiss was better directed to fighting the villains that always seemed to pop up every so often. 

And so the years passed. Dash made sure to not give any part of herself to love, and in return, life blessed her with athletic and professional success. She was among the most accomplished ponies in Equestria, and among the most lonely. 

As much as Dash enjoyed every second she’d spent with her friends, there was always something missing. A part of her that was being denied. A piece of the puzzle that was lost. At first, Dash’s lack of a romantic life was nothing more than a nagging feeling, like a rock in one’s shoe. Easy to dismiss. By her fifties, the feeling had turned to an ache in her heart. One that she knew the cause of, but fought to repress. By her sixties, the ache had become a heavy pressure in her chest, one that suffocated her during every waking second and caused her heart to race during the night. But now, that pressure was gone. The ache was no more. The nagging feeling, nothing more than a bad memory.

As Dash’s body and mind shut down, as she lay beside her friends, there was only emptiness. Not from death, but from regret. From knowing that she had run out of time. 

She had lived the life that she had always dreamed of, and yet she had forgotten to live. The pony who believed that nothing was impossible had pushed aside what her heart desired most, considering it too difficult to add to her busy life.

With only seconds left until there were no more seconds, Dash couldn’t help but wonder what her life would have been like with somepony to kiss. With somepony to have children with. With somepony to love. More than anything, Dash wished that she had one more day to live so she could tell her friends to find her a special somepony. To force her to spend the night with a pony who could make her aging heart race in all the right ways. 

Except that there were no more nights left to live. There were no more words that her body was capable of producing. All Rainbow Dash could do was hope that destiny gave her another shot at life. A chance to do it all over again and then some. To learn from her mistakes. To remember that as special as a sonic rainboom was, friendship was better. Love was better. Staying loyal to her innermost desires--no matter how embarrassing they were, regardless of them being a hindrance to her career--was just as much an aspect of loyalty as sticking with her friends. 

As her final seconds ticked away, Dash’s friends held her hoof. She felt every one of them, every bond that she had forged through the only journey that there would ever be.

And yet, the bonds she felt the most were the ones that she had failed to make.