Too Ugly for Rarity

by Deep


Never Good Enough

It started with a rumor.

Rarity had found herself a stallion to date, or so everypony in Ponyville claimed. No matter which part of town Spike went to, the conversation among the townsponies was the same. Everypony couldn’t stop discussing how Rarity’s new stallion was the very definition of a man, the very definition of perfection. He was as rugged as an athlete, as dashing as an adventurer, as charming as a prince, and as handsome as a model. The stallion’s good looks were far and away the hottest topic of discussion. According to the rumors, he was twice as tall as any other stallion and had a wide, muscular physique that never failed to capture a crowd’s attention. He was handsome in every sense of the word, from his chiseled jawline to his elegant gaze and artistically-trimmed facial hair. He was everything Spike was not. He was everything Spike might not ever be. 

Trying his hardest to convince himself that the rumors were fake, Spike flew across town in search of Rarity and her new crush. It only took him a few minutes to find them enjoying a walk through the town center, where he confirmed that everything he heard had been false.

The stallion was not as good looking as the townsponies had made him out to be. 

No, he was even more breathtaking than that.

He was every bit as tall and imposing as the rumors said he was, but it was his face that caused Spike to freeze in horror. More than just his jawline, his entire facial structure was the picture of perfection. Narrow facial shape, high cheekbones, prominent lower jaw and chin, full and symmetrical lips, a set of sparkling, enchanting eyes, and not a hint of fat to be found anywhere. With only a smile, the stallion had all he needed to defeat the man it would take Spike years of working out and ten puberties to become.

Realizing just how low on the totem pole of attractiveness he was, Spike hung his head and retreated to the Castle of Friendship. His body slumped and defeat engraved on his sunken face, Spike dragged his pathetic body through the cold, empty hallways of the castle. He wanted nothing more than to lock himself in his room until puberty hit him and hopefully gave him the body he always dreamed of having. He was sick of being the loser who posed in front of the mirror with his noodle arms. He was tired of looking at his reflection and pretending that there was anything to be proud of. He had always known that he was no match for more manly stallions such as Big Macintosh, but after seeing Rarity’s date, he finally understood just how overmatched he was. 

Spike was a few steps from his room when he heard hoofsteps approaching him from behind. It was Twilight, who was walking toward her room, her innocent smile as full as naivety as ever. Spike’s first instinct was to quickly fly into his room so that he didn’t have to talk with her about what was getting him down. That was what the old Spike would have done. But now, after years of adventures with Twilight and the rest of his friends, and after countless friendship lessons that taught him that it was better to let out his feelings than hide them from his friends, Spike turned around and flew to the mare who he would always consider his sister. “Hey, Twilight, you got a minute?” Knowing Twilight’s tendency to overreact, Spike tried his best to hide the sadness draining the life from his voice. As much as he needed her help, he didn’t want to stress her any more than necessary. 

“Of course.” As Twilight stopped beside Spike, she shot him her usual friendly smile. It was the smile of a pony who had gotten everything she had ever wanted from life. Wonderful friends, a progressing student, a faithful number-one assistant, a mentor who would never stop believing in her, and a title worthy of adoration across the kingdom. Spike wondered how Twilight would react if she ever got her heart broken. Given how she tended to react to bad or unexpected news, she’d probably spiral into another bout of stress-induced insanity. Spike could see her sulking on her bed for some time before she conjured up some overly-intricate plan to win her lover. The plan would work, of course. This was Twilight, after all. No matter how bleak the situation seemed at first, she always managed to make life go her way in the end. Spike had no doubt that she’d end up with the stallion of her dreams and marry him in a grand wedding worthy of the Princess of Friendship. 

But what about the ponies who would never be good enough to get what they desired most? Were they just supposed to move on from their dreams as if that was an easy thing to do? 

“What’s the matter?” Twilight said, Spike’s continued silence causing her eyes to tighten with worry. 

With a sigh, Spike readied himself to let out his thoughts. Even if Rarity hadn’t met Mr. Perfect, this conversation with Twilight was long overdue. After being called a baby dragon for so long, it was about time for Spike to learn what was in store for him as an adult, as prime Spike. “So, I’m guessing you’ve heard about that stallion Rarity is with, right?” 

Twilight nodded, her face blank from confusion. But as quickly as the confusion had come, she put two and two together and froze. “Oh, I see.” Empathy softened her voice, and she shifted her gaze to the side, not having the strength to look her hurt friend in the eye. “I’m sorry for not telling you as soon as I knew about him. I know how much Rarity means to you.” Mustering up the courage, she forced herself to look Spike in the eye. “You deserved to hear it from a friend and not from some gossiping ponies.” 

Overcome by grief, Spike took a deep breath to keep himself composed. “It’s fine. To be honest, I always kinda knew that actually dating Rarity was just a silly dream. Besides, this isn’t the first time she’s gone all gaga for some stallion. I guess I’m just scared that Rarity won’t be the first girl I’m not good enough for.” 

“Whatever do you mean?”

“You saw that stallion, Twilight.” Spike thought back to Rarity’s date, back to the way he made her giggle at his every word and smile at his every gaze. The smile on her face was unlike any that Spike had ever seen on her before. It was the smile of a mare who had found her prince charming, the smile of a mare who knew that she had the greatest catch in all of Equestria. “He was so good looking. Strong, tall, handsome. He was everything I want to be, but I don’t know if ever I’ll be any of those things. I mean, just look at me.” He grabbed his tummy and round baby face. Chiseled was the last word anypony would use to describe him. Chubby was more like it, though Spike prefered pathetic. “This isn’t what girls like Rarity want. This isn’t even what I want.”

“Spike, there is nothing wrong with how you look--”

“Clearly there is, because it’s not good enough for Rarity.” 

“--and besides, it’s not what’s on the outside that matters when it comes to love.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “I knew you’d say something like that. Quit telling me what I want to hear. I’m not so young anymore that I can’t handle the truth.”

“I’m not lying, Spike.” Twilight was taken aback. She couldn’t believe that Spike actually thought she would ever lie to him. “Yes, physical attractiveness is important when it comes to relationships, but true love is so much more than that. Just look at any elderly couple. Just look at my parents. The years deteriorate us all physically, yet the love remains.”

Expecting an idealized response like this, Spike crossed his arms in annoyance. “Then tell me why Rarity just so happens to get with the most handsome stallion in Equestria. Like I said, this isn’t the first time this has happened. Rarity didn’t go for Prince Blueblood and Trenderhoof because they were ugly stallions.” 

“Spike, you are not ugly.”

“But I’m not handsome either, and that’s all that matters.” 

Crushed by the pain her friend was going through, Twilight hung her head and took a moment to think of what to say next. The way her gaze wavered as she looked Spike in the eye made it clear that she didn’t want to let out what she was going to say next. “How do you know that you won’t look as handsome as that stallion one day too? You’re only starting puberty. Who is to say that you won’t steal Rarity’s heart as soon as you grow up a bit more?”

After a moment of reflection, Spike hung his head further. “Who’s to say that I won’t look like the same wimpy dragon? That’s what I’m scared of the most. That nothing changes. What if in the future I’m the best dragon I can be. I’m kind, loyal, honest, generous, make ponies laugh. I’m the best friend anypony could ask for, but the girl of my dreams doesn’t give me a chance because I’m not good looking enough.” 

Twilight wrapped her hoof around her friend and pulled him closer for a tight embrace. Spike grabbed her tightly, terrified of an uncertain future. She didn’t know what to say except the truth, the one that he deserved to hear. “Nopony knows what the future holds. What you’re scared of, it can happen. Truth be told, I used to be terrified of something similar.” 

Spike shifted his gaze upward to Twilight. Her eyes sloped down at the corners like a sad pup, but it was her sudden rigid posture and grey hue that made it clear that her words carried the weight of years of anxiety. 

“Before I came to Ponyville, I never thought anypony in their right mind would want to be friends with a dork like me, much less ponies as different from me as the friends I ended up making. I had classmates, sure, but not friends. I thought I was going to go my whole life not able to make a single friend, and so I just gave up on friendship itself. I decided that studying was more important, because it was something I could control. If I wanted to pass a test, then I could do so with my own power. But making a friend… There were so many variables to even consider, such as compatibility, mutual interests, sense of humor, dealbreakers…” Not wanting the conversation to veer too off track, Twilight controlled herself and let out a chuckle. “Well, you get the idea.” 

Spike nodded, a frown plastered over his face. “Yeah, everything worked out in the end for you, just like it always does.”

“Yes, because I stopped worrying about things I can’t control. Spike, I am who I am, and I want friends who appreciate that. If somepony doesn’t want to be with you because of your looks, then they don’t deserve you, simple as that. Tell me, would you really be happy being with somepony like that?”

Spike let out a sigh. “I understand what you’re saying, but you and the other Element bearers were destined to become friends one day. Even if you didn’t know it before, you were always meant to have friends.” 

Taken aback by the realization, Twilight froze. For all of her wisdom, she was at a loss for what to say. 

The silence lasted until Spike had a realization of his own. As he lifted his head, his lips curled into a smile. “Though you did give me an idea.” A sense of hope replaced the sorrow in his voice, causing Twilight to grow a smile of her own. “The way you felt about studying, that’s how I want to feel about myself. I want to be able to control who I am, inside and out. The reason that stallion got me down was because I thought the only thing I could do was wish that I could be as good looking as him. But now, I realize that there’s so much more I can do than just wish.”

Recognizing that Spike would never stop obsessing over his looks, Twilight shook her head and dropped it in disappointment.

“But don’t you worry, because I did take your words to heart.” Shooting a radiant smile, Spike grabbed Twilight for a tight hug, warming her with the love only her number-one assistant could give. “There’s no way I’m ever gonna consider a girl who doesn’t like me for who I am. I deserve better than that. But that doesn’t mean that I give up on trying to improve how I am. There’s so much I can still control. I just don’t want to look back one day and realize that I gave up on myself because there were some things I couldn’t control. Even if I never look like that stallion, I want to be the best that I can be, for myself.” 

Bursting at the seams trying to contain her smile, Twilight hugged Spike back. “And I wish you all the best with your goal.” 

With a nod, Spike turned around and sprinted toward the castle exit. “See you, Twilight. I have to head out.”

“Where are you headed to?” 

“The gym. It’s about time I started working out. Gotta start somewhere.” 

As Spike ran out the exit, his gaze burning with confidence as fiery as his flames, he didn’t know what the future had in store for him. There was a chance that he would end up as the ugliest man in all of Equestria, just as there was a chance that he’d grow to be the kingdom’s biggest hunk and everything in-between. Regardless of the outcome, Spike was determined to never stop bettering himself. There would always be aspects of himself that he didn’t like and could never change, but that didn’t mean that he would ever stop fighting tooth and nail to improve what he could change. This drive wasn’t for Rarity, Gabby, or any other girl he’d meet in the future. This was for himself, so when he looked in the mirror, he could be proud of what he saw. So when he saw somepony more handsome and manly, he could keep his own head high, knowing that he’d come so far from the insecure baby dragon he used to be. 

Spike thanked Rarity for choosing that stallion, because it gave him a goal to shoot for. And even if he failed, at least he could say that he had tried, as that was worth more than any amount of muscle or women.