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// Fleeting Joy 
// Story: To Have and To Hold 
// by Freglz 
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The whole of Ponyville turned up for Lyra and Bonbon’s initial wedding.  It weren’t no secret how close those two were, even years before they made their announcement in the local newspaper.  Word around town had it that some ponies were placing bets on when they’d finally tie the knot.  Now, I’m not a gambling mare, and I don’t normally expect things to happen between two individuals lest I be a hypocrite, but if the rumours were true, I’d have joined in for the pure novelty.
But this renewal was on an entirely different level.
For starters, it was being held in Canterlot – already a solid twenty-four hours’ travel by train, which required an horrendously early start to the day in order for us to catch it – and that was to say nothing of the passengers.  Many of them, strangers travelling from the southern outskirts of the kingdom to the capital, came up to us for an autograph, or to simply thank us for all the hard work we’ve done protecting them.  That was fine once upon a time, but now the praise was beginning to feel stale; the same couple of lines recycled over and over.  To me at least.
The passengers who didn’t were sometimes loud and obnoxious, especially the foals who hadn’t yet grown out of their diapers.  The one consoling thought I had is that none of them were as bad as Apple Bloom, and I’ve suffered through enough temper tantrums to last me a lifetime thanks to her.  Not that I was much better, so Granny has told me.
The seats we had to sleep in didn’t help, so stiff and rigid, and with the sound of the engine chugging along up front and the clickity-clack of the railroad beneath us, I barely got any shuteye at all.  Worse still were the beds in the hotel that had been booked for us, which were far too soft and malleable, including the featherdown blankets and fluffy pillows.  It was like the universe couldn’t make up its mind which end of the spectrum it preferred.
Rainbow’s presence was the only genuine comfort I had, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie notwithstanding.  She could wrap her wings around me, and everything would feel just a little bit better, like all the troubles in the world didn’t matter so much, so long as we had each other.  It was certainly reassuring to wake up with her by my side, knowing that however far we were from home, she would always be there.
But that was in the morning.  This was tonight.  And as the five of us took our prearranged seats around a circular table in the main hall of Twilight’s new palace, I was both struck and unnerved by how clean and pristine everything was.  The tablecloth was white, as were the roses, the vase that held them, the napkins, the empty plates awaiting our food, the chairs and tables themselves, the drapes hanging between and wrapping around the pillars…  It would’ve been easier to name everything that wasn’t white.  Even the guests looked out of place.
Speaking of which, it appeared that barely anypony else from Ponyville had been invited, or at least it seemed that way compared to how many unfamiliar faces there were – all Canterlot locals.  You could tell by how they styled their manes, how easily they wore their suits and dresses, their accents and mannerisms, even how they sipped their wine.
Lyra and Bonbon wanted a do-over.  That much I understood.  But did they really think that this was better than what Ponyville offered?  It was far more… heartfelt there.  Here, the sole reason anypony from Canterlot attended was so they could brag about it to their friends, or try to get cosy with Twilight and her inner circle.  And yet the happy couple appeared perfectly content, holding each other’s hooves while they sat in the centre of a long table on a raised platform, along with their closest friends from Canterlot and Ponyville, and Twilight towards the end on Lyra’s side.
Meanwhile, we’d been given the prestigious honour of not having anything to do with the proceedings.  We watched as the pair read their vows aloud on the balcony, shared a kiss to a round of applause, then stared without comment as the whole table ran through their prepared speeches.  Nothing about this was really much different from the ceremony in Ponyville, bar a fresh coat of paint.
I guess they just hadn’t been satisfied with what their hometown could provide.
To keep myself from frowning disapprovingly, I began to curl and flex my rear hooves and to chew on the inside of my cheek.  Wearing a tolerant mask for the past few days had taken its toll on my patience, and since neither I nor Rainbow nor any of us served any purpose beyond being yet more faces in the crowd, I had to wonder what the point of inviting us was.  From what I gathered, they were more Twilight’s friends than ours anyway, and she’d hardly had any time to chat with us all evening.
I could tell Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie didn’t feel the same, but I was starting to feel like I’d been snubbed – turned into one of many third wheels.  Not intentionally, but still.
And according to the programme, dinner wasn’t due to be served until after the sentimental stuff had wrapped up.  At this rate, that wouldn’t be for another half hour.
“Why’re we here?”
The other four glanced at me while Twinkle-whosit concluded her sermon, but only Fluttershy and Rainbow lingered as the audience clapped and hollered.  “Whaddya mean?” the latter asked, angling her head.  “Isn’t it obvious?”
“Yeah, to support our friend,” I said flatly, nodding as I rolled my eyes.  “I get that.  She invited us, so we’re bein’ polite.  Thing is… does Twilight really need our support here?  Half the country already knows about these two by now, and that they have Twilight’s personal seal of approval, and ours by extension.  It ain’t like havin’ us around proves anythin’ new.”
“Maybe Twilight just wanted to see us again,” Fluttershy supposed.  “It has been a long time since we spoke face-to-face.  Running a kingdom is a lot of work.”
“Sure, and on the one night it could be a convenience for her, she’s barely spoken a word to us beyond a welcome and a hug.”
Rarity sighed and returned to me as she finished clapping.  “Well, in case you haven’t noticed, dear, she is a little predisposed.  We can’t expect her to be as available as she used to be.  Her title may be the same but her duties have changed significantly.”
“I ain’t disputin’ that.”  I shrugged and shook my head, neither of which felt extremely comfortable while I had the dress on.  “It’s just that… all we are right now is decoration.  We sit here and we smile and wave, when we could be enjoyin’ ourselves back home instead of listenin’ to these girls talk about how much they mean to each other.  And if Twilight doesn’t even have the time to give us the time of day, then… well, why shouldn’t we have declined?”
Everypony’s eyes widened.
“Look, I’m just spoutin’ what’s on my mind.  This ain’t my idea of a night well-spent.  And if the only practical reason Twilight wants us here is so it doesn’t look like the six of us are driftin’ apart, she should just come on out and say it.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Rainbow exclaimed, but quietly enough that the other tables couldn’t hear.  “Let’s pump the breaks for just a sec, AJ.  Don’t you think you might be… well… overthinking this?  We’re a long way off from losing touch with one another.”
“Sure, we know that,” I dispassionately agreed, then gestured toward the rest of the hall and everypony in it, “but they don’t.  And like it or not, what they think matters.  We’re public figures, all of us, so we have to pay attention, or else ponies won’t think of us as role models anymore, or want to do business with us – that goes for you and me especially, Rares – or… whatever.  Point is, we can’t go around ignorin’ folks.”
“I, uh…” Fluttershy mumbled, lowering her eyes to the table and flattening her ears.  “I mean… well, not to sound rude, Applejack, but I don’t think any of us were thinking that.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow warily murmured, reaching out and laying her closest hoof over mine.  Her touch was delicate, as if I’d suddenly grown frail.  “What’s gotten into you, Jackie?”
Somehow, I got the sense that she was being condescending, but I stomped the thought out before it could take root.  She’d never talk like that to me, not ever.  “Nothin’,” I grumbled, then deflated and hung my head into my free, waiting hoof.  “I’m just… annoyed.  At a lot of things.  But mostly, I’m just gettin’ kinda fed up with all these expectations.”
“Like what?”
“This.  The vow renewal.”  I motioned vaguely to the hall again before sitting back up and cheerlessly meeting everypony else’s gaze.  “Why shouldn’t have I accepted the invite?  What good reason do I have to not watch two ponies show each other and the whole world how much they mean to one another?  Oh, because it’s a slight inconvenience for me?  Because it’s only a day’s travel by train?  Because the clothes I have to wear aren’t comfy?  Because I’d rather stay in bed and read a mystery novel with my girlfriend snuggled up beside me?  Don’t you see how… petty and selfish that sounds?”
Silence descended upon the table, and aside from whatever was happening on-stage, it was absolute.  Rainbow, Rarity and Fluttershy stared at me with varying degrees of shock and sympathy.  Pinkie, as always, was the odd one out.
“Don’t be silly, silly,” she said with a bubbly giggle and a carefree wave.  “You’re not selfish.  How is wanting to spend quality time with your special somepony selfish?  That’s sweet!”
Despite her reassurance, my nerves weren’t convinced.  “Yeah, well, it doesn’t feel that way,” I muttered, removing my hoof from Rainbow’s and scooting the chair back so I could slip out of it.  “Now, if you don’t mind, girls, I think I should go cool off by myself for a while.”
Quick as a whip, Rainbow immediately followed suit.  “I’ll come with.”
“No.”  I shut my eyes and grimaced at how harsh my tone was; it felt like I’d just kicked myself in the gut.  “I mean… sorry, Dash, but no.”  I turned around and started walking backwards, and the instant I saw the angle of her ears, her upturned brows, her disheartened expression, I knew that I was somehow making a terrible mistake.  “I really think I need to be alone for—”
That’s when I heard screaming.  Not the terrified kind, but excited, and laughter too.  I spun back around just in time to see something shooting straight for me.  With scarcely a single second  to react, it smacked me in the face, and the hoof I’d been lifting to protect myself wound up catching it.  What I’d failed to notice, however, was the tidal wave of mares diving after whatever it was, and as they crashed into me, I was sent sprawling onto the floor, half-buried beneath a writhing mass of ponies.
Wrestling myself free from them wasn’t too difficult, but when the world stopped spinning and the ground steadied itself, my heart sank.
I’d caught the bouquet.
“It looks like we have a winner, ladies and gents!” a voice I recognised as Twilight’s announced from seemingly nowhere and everywhere at once.  “Congratulations to Applejack!”
Applause, cheers and whistles erupted from all around me, so intense that it threatened to flip the world on its head all over again.  “What?” I mutely croaked, looking this way and that and only ever seeing happy, smiling faces.  “No, I… you don’t understand, I—”
Rarity shot up from her place at the table and raised a hoof defiantly.  “NOPONY MOVE!”
As quickly as it started, the praise died down to a whimper.
Taking advantage of the awe she had struck, Rarity marched out to meet me.  At first, I thought she was jumping to my defence, but then I realised what she was focussed on.  “Oh dear, it’s already staining,” she hummed to herself, enveloping the hem of my dress in her magic and holding it up to reveal a large red stain in the fabric – spilled wine.  “I’m sorry, Applejack, but I simply cannot allow this dress to be ruined on its debut.  Would you mind if I escort you to the bathrooms?  I’m sure you’d appreciate the privacy, and I can loan you a different one for the time being.”
I scowled, feeling as if salt had been rubbed into an open wound.  She knew better.  Surely everypony did.  They just kept choosing to be ignorant.  “No need,” I grumbled as I snatched the skirt from her grasp and stomped off to the nearest bathroom on my own.  “I think I’m done here.”