Ditzy had tried not to crash. She really had. She had tried to dump speed and take a slow turn that would put her at the front door. Somehow that had turned into a block-of-lead assisted divebomb straight through the roof.
She just didn’t know what went wrong.
I hope whoever was in here heard me shout a warning, thought Ditzy as her head spun from the impact. And whose drink was that I just drank?
“Yeeackth!” gagged the pegasus as the flavor caught up to her. Okay better question, what drink was that I just drank?!
Ditzy shook her head to clear it and looked around. Her eyes hadn’t adjusted to the light yet, but she was still able to get a rough estimate of the damage:
Substantial.
“Oops!” she winced. “My bad!”
A groan beneath her prompted the pegasus to look down. She yelped at the sight of the well-dressed individual she’d crushed. “Oh, gosh, mister, are you okay?”
Ditzy jumped up and landed on one of the beams she’d brought down in her crash. The beam shifted beneath her, and there was a yelp of pain somewhere behind her.
“Oh dear,” she muttered. “Sa~ay,” she continued in an optimistic sing-song voice that she hoped was would endear her to the locals whose home she had, as Rarity had once put it, pro-actively redecorated. “I don’t suppose you know where I can find a Mister…” she pulled the package off her back and squinted at the label, “Mister ‘The Doctor?’ I have a package here for him and—”
As Ditzy spoke, she went to put the package back on her back, but as she swung it around it connected heavily with something that cussed when she hit it.
“Gosh, I’m so sorry!” apologized Ditzy as she turned to see the griffon she’d accidentally bludgeoned lying on his side moaning. “I didn’t see you behind this box of lead and oh my GOSH!” cried Ditzy, dropping the box in her excitement. It fell with a *crunch* which was followed by a loud roar from the well-dressed individual she’d landed on.
“You’re a griffon!” exclaimed Ditzy happily. “Do you know Gabby? She’s a nice mail griffon that moved to Equestria to escape, you know, the purges. I mean she… wait…”
Ditzy looked down to see that she’d dropped the box right on the first guy’s lion tail. Another griffon? thought Ditzy as she bent to retrieve the box of lead. There was a *swoosh* over her head as though something had swung through the air above her, but Ditzy was too busy apologizing to notice.
“Sorry about that. I guess I got excited. I think griffons are super cool, but I only know a few since war refugees don’t usually come as far in-country as Ponyville, so I was wondering if you knew Gabby. Er, not that I think all griffons know each other, I just figured that a mail griffon like her travels a lot so you might—”
“Look out behind you!” shouted a female voice.
“Huh?” said Ditzy, who turned to look—
*Crack*
And floored a griffon by smashing her head into his. He dropped, screaming and holding his beak, and Ditzy stumbled back a step, rubbing her muzzle. “Woah, sorry buddy, I—”
*BANG!*
The thunderous bark made Ditzy’s ears ring, and the bright flash made her eyes water, but she was still able to see the direction it had come from.
A pegasus mare who resembled a sepia-tone Rainbow Dash in a pith helmet was trapped in a net, though that didn’t stop her grappling with a griffon from behind. The griffon flailed about, unable to reach his attacker, and in his claw he held a smoking gun. On the floor near them was a crumpled heap of a griffon with a red stain on his uniform.
It was then that Ditzy noticed several details that had escaped her attention before, namely the Dominion armbands on the griffons, the firearms strewn around the room, and the fact that the sepia mare looked a loooot like the character of Dash’s favorite book series.
“Don’t just stand there!” shouted Probably-Actually-Daring-Do. “Take the Goblet and run!”
Goblet? What Gob— A glowing artifact-looking cup picked that moment to fall off Ditzy’s head and land at her hooves. Oh.
“Sweet Celestia!” she blurted. “This is an adventure isn’t it!”
If Daring had the time to be shocked, she probably would have been floored – the sheer serendipity was staggering. A cross-eyed mailmare had just busted through a roof without apparent personal injury, dropped a squad of Talon agents, and then started asking about a package for Mister ‘The Doctor’ as though this was an ordinary delivery.
Then there was the small matter that the mare had, apparently inadvertently, drunk the entire contents of the primed Goblet of Infinite Possibilities, thus potentially setting in motion the end of Equestria as they knew it. The absurdity would have been staggering if Daring had time to be staggered.
As it was, the adventurer opted to take advantage of the distraction. The two griffons flanking her had escaped most of the damage, so Daring punched the one on her left in the throat. He sprawled, gagging while she body-checked the one on her right into the nearest bookcase. While he was stunned, Daring managed to loop part of the net across his throat and grapple him with her limbs while she tried to choke him out. Gotta take them down while the rest are distracted!
The griffon fought back, using his greater size to slam her into the bookcase. Daring gritted her teeth and yanked harder on the rope.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the grey mare clock a griffon who’d been creeping up on her with a box of—
Wait, did she say ‘box of lead?’ wondered Daring just as the mystery mare shouted something in excitement and dropped said box straight on Glothrop’s tail.
Another griffon came up behind the mystery mare and Daring tried to shout a warning, but the griffon she was strangling picked that moment to smash her into the bookcase again, almost dislodging her. Daring watched the creeping griffon swing at the mare… who ducked effortlessly beneath him.
Regaining her breath, Daring shouted, “Look out behind you!”
The mare turned straight into her assailant and brained him with her skull. What kind of drunken master nonsense? thought Daring. Who is—
Her musing was cut off by the griffon she was strangling raising his pistol and aiming at the mystery mare. Crap! Daring grabbed his foreleg and swung it aside just as he pulled the trigger.
The griffon she’d punched in the throat at the start of the fight stood up just in time to take the shot in the chest. The mystery mare looked on, dumbfounded.
“Don’t just stand there!” shouted Daring. “Take the Goblet and run!”
Whatever the mystery mare said in response to that, Daring didn’t hear. The half-strangled griffon now attempting to aim his pistol at the adventurer on his back had her full attention. She tried to grab his foreleg again but missed.
The griffon aimed the pistol at her head, cocked the hammer back, and got sent flying by the box of lead.
“Wait, what?” said the suddenly griffonless Daring.
“We gotta go!” shouted the mystery mare, who flapped over, the Goblet tucked under one foreleg. She gripped the net with her teeth and flung it off Daring. It landed in the corner with a crash, a clatter, a horn, the sound of a cat freaking out, and another crash. The mystery mare pulled Daring to her hooves and they turned for the recently added skylight, only to find the way blocked by several Talon troopers who, though injured and unsteady on their feet, still had guns.
“This way!” ordered Daring, grabbing her rescuer and leading her towards to door she’d entered through.
Gunshots rang out behind them and bullets zipped past, but the ponies managed to escape the room. Daring slammed the heavy door shut behind them and the two tore off down the hall, the mystery mare flying slow enough to match the best pace that the injured Daring could manage on foot.
Which is too slow, thought Daring as her muscles screamed even through the adrenaline. Gotta put some distance in before those goons recover. She cast a glance at the mare who was currently filled with Possibility. And deal with… that. Run, hide, and figure out what the hay to do about this nonsense!
“So…” began the mystery mare benignly, “I’m Ditzy Doo, and I just want to say I’m a big fan of your work.”
“Thanks,” panted Daring as she led them along a route that she hoped would let them shake their pursuers.
Ditzy frowned, looking worried. “Hey, are you okay? You look pretty banged up.”
“Busted wing, some bruises and scrapes,” gritted Daring, trying to ignore the fire in her tendons. “I’ve handled worse.”
“Well, sure, but the guys chasing us all have wings.”
“I’ll manage,” insisted Daring.
Ditzy regarded her with one eye (the other stayed focused down the hall), then dove for Daring. Before the adventurer could protest, Ditzy had scooped her up onto her back and begun carrying her.
“Are you crazy?” demanded Daring. “You can’t carry my weight for long!”
The grey mare’s laugh was genial as their altitude climbed higher. “Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m kinda strong. I flew all the way here carrying a box of lead.”
So I did hear that right. “Why the hay were you carrying— TURN RIGHT!”
Ditzy swerved right at the last second to avoid running into a chandelier. “Oops!” said the grey mare sheepishly. “You might wanna just steer me. My depth perception’s noooot the greatest.”
After knocking over a statue and nearly plowing into a wall, Daring resorted to grabbing Ditzy’s ears and using them like the ship’s wheel to direct flight. “We need to go to hole up somewhere and make a plan to get you and the Goblet out of here,” declared the adventurer.
“Ye~ah, about that…” said Ditzy, tilting her head up and rolling one eye back to look at Daring. “I… kinda, maybe, definitely drank the funky liquid in the glowy cup by accident. Am I gonna be a dragon or something?”
Mare, I hope not. “It’s called the Goblet of Infinite Possibilities,” explained Daring. “Whoever drinks it has infinite possibilities opened up to them. They get to see the echoes of other possible realities manifest – other versions of themselves who made different decisions or whose lives played out in other ways.”
“Sooo… not a dragon?”
“Probably not,” replied Daring.
“Aw.”
Up ahead, Daring saw a junction that she believed would lead to the servants’ quarters. Lots of rooms and back passages so the servants could access the whole castle unobtrusively. Perfect to hide. “At this stage, the realities that open to you will most likely be simpler things – a version of you that made a different choice or something. Turn right here.”
Ditzy started to make the turn, then froze, one eye looking back down the hall. “Uh… like a version of me that grabbed the box of lead on the way out?”
Daring followed Ditzy’s gaze and saw…
Another Ditzy.
With the box of lead on her back.
“Yeah,” said Daring tiredly. “Like that.”
“Hi!” waved the other Ditzy.
Ditzy, Daring, and Ditzy-with-a-box sat in a servant’s bedchamber and stared at each other.
Well, thought Ditzy, this brings back memories. Hopefully this turns out better than the Mirror Pool.
After Ditzy-with-a-box had shown up, Daring had fallen rather silent and focused on going to ground. She’d laid a few false trails towards traps before finding a place the three of them to hide while they figured out there next move.
Step one involved explanations. “Ditzy Doo?” asked Daring.
“Yes?” chorused Ditzy and Ditzy-with-a-box.
Daring Do blinked. Slowly. “Okay, I’m going to call you Ditzy Doo,” she declared, pointing to Ditzy, “and you Ditzy Two,” she added, pointing to Ditzy-with-a-box.
“Okay.” Chorused Ditzy and Ditzy Two. Much better than Ditzy-with-a-box, thought Ditzy.
“How much do the two of you know about Multiverse Theory?”
Ditzy Doo and Two glanced at each other. “Uuuuuh…”
“Layponies version, then,” decided Daring. “Basically, there are many different parallel worlds wherein things are similar, but different. Those differences range from worlds where one saved a box and the other didn’t to worlds where ponies are other kinds of creatures.”
“Like dragons?” asked Ditzy Two.
“Okay, please don’t keep suggesting dragons,” said Daring with a facehoof. “It might happen.”
“Technically, I was the one to suggest dragons the first time,” said Ditzy.
“No,” said Two, “I did too.”
“You did?”
“She did,” explained Daring, “because both of your realities are still this reality, but the realities aren’t parallel for the two of you right now – the two realities have met at the two of you.”
The Ditzys blinked. “What?”
Daring sucked a breath in through her teeth. “Okay, let’s see if I can explain this… basically, different realities should all be their own, separate series of events. However, when the Goblet is used, those series start crossing over with other series wherein the Goblet was used at the same point. Those separate series then start becoming one shared series. At first, they only cross at one data point: whoever drank from the Goblet. Thus, both of you are currently Ditzy ‘Prime,’ with the other coming later, and I’m still the Daring you first interacted with, because at the moment the Goblet is only crossing over with Ditzy Doo, the mare who drank from the Goblet, while the rest of both realities remaining separate.”
“But that won’t last forever,” continued Daring grimly. “Eventually, there will be other points that cross. Not just other Ditzys that show up, but other items, locations, events, even other creatures. Soon, any realities where you drank from the Goblet will be pulled in. And it won’t ever stop because the multiverse is functionally infinite. Hence, Infinite Possibilities will be on display, and the world as we know it will cease to exist.”
The adventurer let out a deep breath. “So, in summary, we need to shut down the Goblet or it will destroy the world. Make sense?”
There was a pause, then, “Nope.”
“Nada.”
“Not even slightly.”
“Totally confused.”
Daring sighed and scratched the back of her neck. “Look, I’m not sure I can really visualize how it works myself. The point is, bad things are gonna happen for everyone if we can’t shut this thing down like it was when it was first created. If we don’t, it could destroy the world as we know it.”
But I like the world as we know it, thought Ditzy Doo. Then she remembered the war. Okay, I mostly like the world as we know it. “Guess we’d better shut it down, then,” she said aloud.
“Yup,” agreed Ditzy Two.
Daring gave them both a long look. “You’re taking this very well.”
“What do you mean?” asked Two, tilting her head.
“It’s just… neither of you seem fazed by the whole Daring-Do-is-real-and-I’m-helping-her-save-the-world thing.”
Ditzy Doo shrugged. “Eh. Nightmare Moon was real.”
“And Discord,” added Two.
“Plus, there was that time we were delivering a package to Canterlot and got jumped by changelings.”
“Don’t forget punching Tirek in the face a couple times before he zapped us.”
“That and ‘Spectrum Sprint’ in the last book looked a lot like Rainbow.”
Two laughed. “Remember when the book showed up and she did, like, a hundred laps around Ponyville?”
“Yeah,” giggled Ditzy Doo. “She almost started a tornado.”
Daring’s eye twitched. “Okay… I guess that’s fair… but still,” she gestured to them, “there are literally two of you.”
“Mirror Pool,” chorused the Ditzys.
The adventurer heaved a sigh and massaged her temples. “Feathering Ponyville,” she muttered.
“Yeah, we have fun,” smiled Ditzy Two.
“How’d they stop the Goblet messing up the world the first time?” asked Ditzy Doo.
“The Archmage of the time, the Clover the Fifth, caught wind that L’Astuce, the Mad Artificer of Dunnhollow, had created the Goblet,” explained Daring. “She and her husband, Solar Lance, defeated L’Astuce, but not until after he’d drunk and weird things happened. Long story short, the best they could do at the time was to stick the dormant Goblet in a version of the castle that it was only Possible to access under certain very specific and very rare conditions.”
Daring grimaced, adding, “Unfortunately, those conditions were set by L’Astuce, including, annoyingly enough, a constantly changing location. Researchers, mostly on Celestia’s payroll, got close more than once, but never got there quick enough for Celestia to grab the thing and unmake it.”
“And Talon figured out where it would show up next?” asked Ditzy Two.
“Yup,” grunted Daring. “Fortunately, so did I. Things came together in time for me to make a beeline for the castle, but not in enough time to call for reinforcements. I was hoping I’d be able to get through all the traps, grab the Goblet, and get out before Talon, since they don’t really do non-griffon tech and magic, but…” she trailed off, looking sad, “they had help.”
Ditzy wasn’t sure why Daring was sad. From the look on her face, Ditzy Two wasn’t sure either. But Ditzy didn’t want a great pony like Daring to be sad. So she put on a happy face and said, “Well, now you have help too!”
Daring was silent for a moment, then smiled and said, “I sure do.”
Ditzy Two struck a heroic pose. “All right! Let’s stop the Possibility Goblet!”
“Maybe we can just smash it against the wall,” suggested Ditzy Doo. “You know, simple solutions.” I’m pretty sure that’s how Rainbow Dash fixes things.
“No!” shouted Daring. “That would just blow up in our faces, and it wouldn’t work anyway. No, we need to get it back to Celestia, hopefully before our realities cross at too many points. An alicorn should be able to shut it down.”
“Okay,” said Ditzy Doo.
“Okay,” said Ditzy Two.
*BOOM!*
The three mares jumped at the sudden explosion that had punched through one wall of the room. When the dust settled, they saw the Goblet of Infinite Possibilities sitting in the midst of the hole that had once been a wall, unscarred in any of its many possible forms.
“What did I just say?!” demanded Daring.
“I didn’t do it!” cried Ditzy Doo.
“I didn’t do it!” cried Ditzy Two.
“Sorry, I wasn’t listening,” said the third Ditzy.
A few minutes later, the four mares were working their way through a Japonese hedge maze that was located where the dining hall was the first time Daring had come through this way.
Daring decided to call the third grey mare ‘Ditzy Danger.’ She picked that moniker after said Ditzy had followed up on not listening by asking, “Hey, if other realities could start showing up, could that mean we’d end up wandering through other versions of what this castle might have looked like?”
Which, of course, had resulted in their present predicament of wandering through a castle that changed theme, aesthetic, cultural heritage, and layout with each passing room.
“Why was that last place a bunch of cubicles?” asked Ditzy Doo.
Ditzy Two started to speculate, “Maybe it was like a Dilburro crossov—”
Daring put a hoof over Two’s mouth. “Please don’t speculate. I don’t want to open up another Possibility.”
“Sorry,” apologized Two.
“I’m the one who should be sorry,” said hangdog Ditzy Danger. “I just don’t know what went wrong.”
Daring wanted to drum up some resentment against Danger, but found she couldn’t. All these Ditzys are just so dang benign. It’d be like getting made at a puppy. Or Fluttershy. “It’s not your fault,” she assured her. “I should be thanking you, honestly. If you hadn’t come, Talon would have the Goblet and I’d probably be dead.”
“Don’t thank us,” said Ditzy Doo. “Thank ‘The Doctor’ for mailing a box of lead to this castle.”
“I would do that if any of us knew who ‘The Doctor’ was,” replied Daring. It wasn’t Goddard or Caballeron, I can tell you that much.
The thought of her old research partner made Daring sad. I wonder if Caballeron escaped in the confusion. She hoped he had. In spite of his betrayal, in spite of everything he’d done, Daring still remembered a time when…
I don’t want him dead.
They passed from the Japonese garden through a gothic portcullis into an abandoned opera house with a grand chandelier. Nice aesthetic, thought Daring, happy for the distraction from her old partner. And the rows of seats can provide some cover if we get jumped.
“You know one upside to the infinite reality castle?” asked Ditzy Doo.
“What’s that?” asked Daring.
“You said there were a bunch of traps in the original castle, but we haven’t seen any.”
“Yeah,” agreed Ditzy Two, “and we haven’t run into any Talon guys either.”
Hey, that’s a good point. Maybe this isn’t so bad!
“Maybe they’re just waiting for a dramatic moment to show up,” suggested Ditzy Danger.
The portcullis slammed down behind them, activated by a trapped flagstone which also opened a secret passageway on the floor in front of them to reveal six Talon troopers.
Aaaaaand, the moment’s gone.
“Sorry,” mumbled Ditzy Danger.
“Stop right there!” shouted the Talon troopers as they fanned out, the foremost bringing his gun to bear.
Daring was already in motion, drawing her whip and snagging the foremost griffon’s rifle. “Fly! Fly!” she ordered as she disarmed him.
The Ditzys obeyed. One of them, she was pretty sure it was Ditzy Doo, scooped up Daring as they took to the air. Daring didn’t bother ordering them to fly erratically, as they did by default. Guns barked beneath them. By accident or design, the wild flying spared them any injury, but Daring knew that wouldn’t last.
“I’m guessing none of you brought a gun,” she remarked, more a statement than a question.
“Nope.”
“No.”
“Sorry.”
“Yes!” cried a stetson-sporting Ditzy as she triumphantly burst through a set of swinging saloon doors that Daring could have sworn wasn’t there a moment ago. “Because I’ve always secretly wanted to be a desperado!” She drew a pair of pistols that might more properly have been described as ‘hoof cannons.’ “Eat lead, lead eaters!”
The cross-eyed gunslinger aimed her weapons, and Daring’s heart leapt into her throat. “Dive!” she ordered desperately. The flying ponies went to ground and huddled behind a row of seats for cover.
Just in time. The hoof cannons boomed like the wrath of the heavens. A storm of bullets flew through the air, striking every hard surface in the opera house and pinging about the room like pinballs, ricocheting at least a dozen times each in defiance of every known law of physics (and probably a few unknown laws as well). Daring and the other Ditzys huddled together on the ground, praying for the nightmare to end.
Then, suddenly, the storm fell silent. Daring and the others slowly raised their heads to see an opera house that looked like it had been visited by a ball bearing tornado. The gunslinger Ditzy stood with a stunned expression, two smoking guns…
And six unscathed Talon troopers who looked as shocked as anypony.
“Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me,” groaned Daring.
Recovering from his stupor, one of the troopers crowed, “Hah! You missed! Now you’ll get—”
What the gunslinger would have gotten was never discovered, because the chandelier fell and crushed the troopers. Well, thought Daring Do, I guess being crushed by a chandelier beats being vengefully immolated by one.
In the silence that followed, the gunslinger looked up at where the chandelier fell from. “Huh,” she grunted. “Looks like I shot the rope.” Then, with affected nonchalance, she added, “Just like I planned! Yeah!” She twirled her hoof cannons to holster them, accidentally pulled the trigger, and shot Daring’s helmet off.
The Ditzys all froze in horror. Daring felt her eye twitch. “You plan that too?” she asked.
“Wow!” exclaimed Ditzy Doo as she retrieved Daring’s perforated helmet and set it back on her head. “I coulda sworn you emptied those guns.
“Um… it’s possible I miscounted my shots,” suggested the gunslinger. “Maybe I—"
“Holster those guns before something else happens!” ordered Daring. At the sad look on the gunslinger’s face, she sighed and added, “Also, thank you for saving our lives.” The beaming smile she got in return made the perforated helmet worth it. “Let’s get moving before something else happens.”
“Like a trap, or another patrol,” suggested Ditzy Two.
Daring didn’t even bat an eye when another group of griffons burst into the room.
“Woo-hoo!” cheered Ditzy Danger. “It wasn’t me this time!”
Several minutes and twelve thwarted griffons later…
“Girls, I just wanna say,” said Ditzy Doo, “that it feels really nice to be helping out like this.”
“Uh-huh,” assented Ditzy Two.
“Yup,” smiled Ditzy Danger.
“Agreed,” agreed Ditzy Desperado.
“Though it would be nice if the walls weren’t closing in to crush us in an Aztrot pit trap,” said Ditzy Downer, who had shown up after Daring had asked if it was even possible for Ditzy to be not-upbeat and Ditzy Doo had answered, ‘maybe.’
Despite the name, Ditzy Downer was still fairly upbeat, just not all the time.
She was also a little taller than the others for some reason, which was why Daring Do was standing on her head to reach the controls to disarm the Aztrot pit trap while the other four did their best to hold back the walls crushing them.
In an attempt to lighten the mood, Ditzy Doo said, “At least there aren’t any sna—"
“Don’t finish that sentence,” ordered Daring.
“Okay.”
“Let’s see,” muttered Daring as she toggled the levers and buttons. “Up, down, left, left, square, up, right, triangle, and… bingo!” The walls slid to a halt and the Ditzys cheered (except for Ditzy Downer, who merely smiled).
Daring hopped down and said, “Okay, the good news is that the pit isn’t going to crush us. The bad news,” she pointed up at the metal grate that had prevented them simply flying out, “is that there’s still a big, spikey grating that’s penning us in. Any ideas?”
“Can’t you just use the controls to get us out?” asked Ditzy Two.
“Not with hooves,” replied Daring. “The controls for the grating are too small. They look like they were built by a griffon or a minotaur or some species with digits.”
“What if we had a Ditzy with digits?” suggested Ditzy Doo.
“That seems like a tall order,” said Ditzy Downer.
“I can do a tall order,” said a new Ditzy from the corner. “I’m tall.”
“Well,” smirked Daring as they turned to look at the newcomer, “that’s conveniaaaaaAAAAH!” she cried. “What the hay are you?!”
A familiar set of crossed eyes looked back at them, but they were attached to some sort of mostly hairless, bipedal primate. The creature waved a hand full of fingers at them. “Hi! I’m Human Ditzy Doo.”
“Hi, Human Ditzy Doo,” chorused the Ditzys.
“Hmm, that doesn’t really roll off the tongue,” observed Ditzy Downer. “How about Ditzy Digits?”
“I like it,” said Ditzy Digits brightly; she seemed happy to stay on theme.
“Okay,” Daring said, “this is great that you’re here to save us, but it also probably indicates that the Goblet’s influence is growing and we really don’t have time to muck around.” She hopped back up on Ditzy Downer’s back so she could see the controls. “Give me a hand over here.”
Ditzy Digits started over saying, “No problem, Daring I’ll…” she paused, blinked, then laughed. “Oh, I get it! Give me a hand! Because I have hands!”
“Yeah, hilarious, now help me.”
While Daring walked Digits through the disarm sequence, Ditzy Doo took stock of their situation. She was a little afraid, a little concerned, but mostly enjoying herself. After months delivering mail and feeling like she was sitting the war out, it felt good to be helping.
Actually, it just felt good to be helping in general. Ditzy liked to help ponies (and dragons, and donkeys, and griffons who weren’t trying to kill her, and really just about any good-willed creature she encountered), but whenever she tried to help things seemed to go wrong.
But ever since this adventure started, things going wrong seems to make things go… right.
It’s nice.
Even with her largely positive outlook, however, there were still a few things that bothered her. Apparently, Ditzy Two noticed, because she leaned over and said, “Yeah, it bothers me too that we don’t know who the box of lead was for.”
Ditzy Doo gasped. “How did you know what I was thinking?” Ditzy Two stared at her with one of her eyes (the other was watching Ditzy Digits). “Right, silly question,” said Ditzy Doo. “I just think it’s important somehow.”
“Maybe it will become obvious during an epic showdown at high noon,” suggested Ditzy Desperado.
“You’re just saying that because you want an epic showdown at high noon,” said Ditzy Danger.
“Yeah…”
“Ah hah!” cried Daring triumphantly as the grate above them retracted.
“Yay!” cheered Ditzy Digits. “Fingers for the win!”
The Ditzys who had wings ferried the Ditzy who didn’t and the Daring who couldn’t back to the hallway they’d been in before being plunged into the Aztrot pit trap (oddly, the hallway was Saddle Arabian in aesthetic).
“Alright, Ditzys,” said Daring, leading them down the hall towards a large set of double doors at the far end. “Let’s see if we can get out of this castle before this gets any worse.” She snorted. “At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was all prelude to a climactic final challenge.”
“Like a shootout at high noon?” suggested Desperado.
“In a Great Hall with big stone pillars, chains dangling from the ceiling for no reason, and ominous fire pits that turn on magically?” offered Ditzy Danger.
“With all the Talon goons waiting for us?” added Ditzy Two.
Daring gave a sardonic laugh as they reached the double doors and pushed through into the next room. “You know what?” she said as they entered the pitch black chamber. “It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if—”
The adventurer froze, her eyes shrinking to pinpricks. “Oh, Celestia, I said ‘climactic final challenge’ out loud, didn’t I.”
“Um… yes?” said Ditzy Digits.
“And you all just responded with follow-up suggestions, didn’t you.”
“Well, technically only three of us did,” clarified Ditzy Downer, “but… yes.”
Daring swallowed. “Which means…”
At that moment, the magically-activated firepits lit up, illuminating a great hall filled with towering stone pillars, chains dangling from the ceiling, and about a four-score Talon troopers waiting in ambush, led by a heavily bandaged and thoroughly peeved Glothrop Goddard.
“Well, poop,” remarked Ditzy Downer, a downer sentiment which Ditzy Doo found herself agreeing with.
“You know what, ladies?” said Daring Do, “That one’s on me.”