//------------------------------// // Pinkie's Solution // Story: Little Keys // by Skijarama //------------------------------// Twilight yelped in surprise when a series of loud knocks reverberated throughout the Golden Oak Library. She opened her eyes and sat up, looking around in confusion. She was in her room, and Rainbow was next to her, slowly sitting up with a less-than-pleased grimace on her face. Judging by the orange light of the sun piercing the pulled curtains over the window, it was early morning. Who in the hoof could be knocking this loud this early in the morning?! “Ugh… Twi?” Rainbow asked in a drowsy mumble as she slid out of bed. “Yes?” “I’m gonna kill ‘em.” Twilight frowned. “Rainbow, come on, don’t talk like that,” she lightly scolded, though she had to admit, the idea was not without its merits. “We can blow them up the second we open the door,” Midnight cood maliciously. “No, no. It’s too early for you,” Twilight deadpanned in her mind. “Go back to sleep.” “I can’t.” “Why not?” “Because you’re awake.” Twilight resisted the urge to sigh in frustration as she followed Rainbow down the stairs. She cast a glance over her shoulder to see Spike poking his head out of his bed basket. His expression was one of pure irritation. “Can you soundproof the room for me?” he asked groggily. Twilight managed to smile at that. Her horn lit up, and a thin coat of lavender light blanketed the room before fading away. Just like that, the insufferable knocking became all but inaudible. Were it not for the door now standing open after Rainbow’s exit, it would have been completely silent in the room. Spike gave a thankful smile, a half-hearted thumbs-up, and then withdrew into his blankets. Twilight watched him for a moment before turning to follow after Rainbow. Her ears folded against her head in a vain attempt to drown out the continuing knocks as soon as she crossed the threshold and shut the bedroom door behind her. Finally, there was a moment of blissful silence as the door opened, followed swiftly by Rainbow’s voice echoing through the house. “What the- Pinkie?!” Twilight came to a stop as soon as she heard that, her ears perking up. Pinkie? What was Pinkie doing here, especially this early in the morning, and making a tribal drum out of their front door? She frowned. Her thoughts drifted back to the last time she had seen the party mare outside of Sugarcube corner, and how they had all, as a group, systematically upset and disappointed her...  Suddenly, she had a bad feeling about all of this. “The foal just can’t take a hint, can she?” Midnight seethed in irritation. Twilight ignored her and quickly made her way down. She emerged into the living room to find Pinkie Pie bouncing up and down energetically in front of a now very concerned-looking Rainbow Dash. Twilight mirrored that concern the moment her eyes fell on Pinkie’s face. There were dark bags under her eyes. She looked as if she hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. There was also a very subtle twitch in her left eye. “Heya, guys!” Pinkie chirped, waving a hoof in the air manically. “Er, hi,” Rainbow replied awkwardly. “Uh… you okay-” “Pinkie Peachy!” Pinkie cut Rainbow off with a series of unhinged giggles. She then reached into her mane and pulled out a simple bright blue box, the same type one might carry donuts or pastries in. “Here, I got a present for you!” Without waiting for a reply, she shoved the box into Rainbow’s chest, forcing the pegasus to react and snatch it up before it could fall to the ground below. Rainbow glanced down at the package, then up at Pinkie again. “Uh… thanks?” she asked in abject bewilderment. “But, uh… couldn’t you have… I dunno… delivered it a little later? It’s kinda…” she glanced over at the nearest clock. Her eyes widened. “What the- Seven?! Pinkie, it’s seven thirteen in the morning!” “Oh, I know,” Pinkie replied without missing a beat. “But I spent all night trying to figure out what to do for this, and when I finally came up with it, I spent all night putting it together as quick as I could, and when it was all done I just couldn’t bring myself to wait any longer, and so I decided to come and let everypony know right away! It’s okay, you don’t hafta answer right now!” Twilight stepped forward, struggling to keep up with Pinkie’s rambling tirade. “Pinkie Pie, slow down, you’re not making any sense.” Two sets of eyes landed on Twilight. Rainbow opened her mouth to speak, but Twilight cut her off. “Yeah I know, realized it the moment I said it,” she said in defeat. Pinkie nodded sagely as if all had suddenly become right with the world. Which it most assuredly had not. Pinkie still had yet to explain herself. Twilight cleared her throat and tried again. “What I mean, Pinkie, is that even this seems a bit weird for you. You don’t usually show up, and you’re usually very considerate about your friends' feelings - if not their personal space. So for you to just arrive and wake us up this early with a random present… I mean this with no offense-” “Liar.” “...But this is a good way to make your friends angry with you,” Twilight finished, ignoring Midnight’s jab. Pinkie hesitated for a second before taking a step back. “Er, right. Sorry, guys. I just couldn’t wait any longer, really.” “So… what’s the deal, anyway?” rainbow asked, glancing down at the box in her hooves. “And what the heck is this?” Pinkie perked up and smiled again. “Oh! That! Just open it up! You’ll understand everything soon enough!” She reached into her mane and felt around. Twilight tried not to think about it when she heard who-knows-what rattling around in that bottomless pocket. Was that a cat meowing? Soon enough, Pinkie withdrew her hoof and grinned. “I still got a few things to do this morning, so I’ma go get right on that! See ya later, love gators!” Rainbow and Twilight both blushed at that, the pegasus moving to retort. Before she could utter even a single syllable, however, Pinkie was already gone, bouncing out the door and slamming it shut behind her with all the grace and tact of a drunk tic-tac. A few seconds passed in silence while Twilight tried to wrap her head around what just happened. A second passed before she shook her head and focused on the box in Rainbow’s hoof. “Well… that happened,” she deadpanned. Rainbow gave a stiff nod. “Uh, yeah, it did,” she replied before turning to the alicorn. “Any idea what that was all about?” Twilight sighed and trotted over, taking the box in her magic. It didn’t feel especially heavy in her grasp. She scrutinized it before looking to Rainbow and giving the ‘present’ a gentle shake. “No idea. But the answer’s probably in here. Probably.” Rainbow frowned skeptically. “Ya sure about that?” “Well, Pinkie said so, so absolutely not,” Twilight shot back. In truth, this could have been just about anything. Given recent events, though, and the unhinged way in which Pinkie had conducted herself, Twilight was inclined to feel at least a little anxious. She glanced down at the box, frowning, and gently pried open the lid. She was met with the sight of two cupcakes with what appeared to be rainbow-colored frosting and a note. “Dear Friends, I had the greatest idea on how to bring everypony closer together with Maud! I know you all told me that you really tried and that it didn’t work out, and I don’t wanna overdo it with all of this or make you upset with me, but it would mean the world to me if you’d give her one more shot! I’ve set up something special that should help everypony get close right outside town, in that grassy patch where you first met her! Please meet there at 3:00 PM today. If this doesn’t work, then I Pinkie Promise, I won’t try to force this anymore.  Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye! Your Friend, Pinkie Pie.” Twilight’s ears slowly lowered as she read the note. It made sense. Pinkie was one of the most stubborn ponies she had ever known. To assume that she would give up or back off on this Maud business so easily was nothing short of lunacy. Rainbow came up to Twilight’s side and read the note over her shoulder. Soon, her own expression mirrored Twilight’s. “...Oh. Well, that explains that,” she said quietly. Twilight sighed before setting the box off to one side. “Right.” “Don’t bother going,” Midnight scoffed dismissively. “You’ve already stated your case. Pinkie’s refusal to look at reality is no longer your concern.” “She’s my friend!” Twilight snapped back, resisting the urge to grit her teeth. “I have noticed,” Midnight sneered. “And I am not impressed.” Twilight’s coat bristled, but she otherwise did not favor the devil on her shoulder with a response. Instead, she simply turned and went for the stairs. “Well, we’ve still got a while before this thing of Pinkie’s. Let’s get some more sleep.” Rainbow nodded, following after her, offering up no complaints. Twilight didn’t sleep as well as she would have liked, following that. She spent some time tossing and turning, off and on sharing whispered small-talk and idle speculation with Rainbow about what Pinkie had in store before finally managing to fall back to sleep. When they returned to the waking world some few hours later, just after noon, Twilight’s senses were far more awake, albeit still far from where she would have liked them to be. The minutes crawled by slowly. A mixture of curiosity and anxiety over Pinkie’s plan clawed away at Twilight’s senses. Knowing Pinkie Pie’s penchant for overblowing even the simplest of things, and her complete lack of regard for the laws of physics, the solution she had come up with could have been anything from a simple Pinkie Party to a cannon that would yank a meteor out of the sky with a grappling hook attached to the ammunition. Or something just as ludicrous. Really, it could be anything with that mare. Eventually, though, the time came to set off. Twilight and Rainbow quickly took turns in the bathroom to make themselves decent enough to be in public. Spike volunteered to remain behind in the library to keep an eye on things and do some reorganizing in the basement. The shelves down there were a little behind and needed a good switching around, as far as Twilight was concerned, so it worked out nicely. It was another typically pleasant day in Ponyville when they stepped outside, and the warmth of the sun did wonders to chase away some of Twilight’s nerves. As her eyes wandered to the south, though, she frowned. There was a dark, very noticeable storm front in the distance. Rainbow caught her looking and spoke up. “Ponyville’s due for a lot of rain,” she explained simply. “And there was a lot of excess from Cloudsdale. They figured they’d ship it here since we’ve been in the middle of a bit of a dry spell since the Plundervines did their thing.” Twilight hummed but did not otherwise speak. She instead simply focused her attention on their destination. The field just outside of town where they had first met Maud. Go figure that Pinkie’s last attempt to make all this work out would take place right where it started, huh? “Snared ya again, huh?” Twilight jumped in her skin at the new voice. She turned to look and saw Applejack approaching from the side, a knowing look on her face. Rainbow nodded. “Yup. Got us at seven.” “Hmph. Eight for me,” Applejack noted with a grunt. “Filly’s slowin’ down. Lucky her Ah’m usually up at that time.” “I dunno how you can do that,” Rainbow snorted in disbelief. “Eight in the morning? No decent pony could be up that early! Not without some serious grouchiness.” Applejack rolled her eyes and lightly nudged the mare in the side with her elbow. “Oh, hardy har, RD. Just cause y’all are a late riser don’t mean the rest of us are.” “I hate to interrupt,” Twilight cut in with a frown. “But Applejack, do you have any idea what Pinkie’s grand plan to make us closer to Maud is? I’ve been trying to piece it together in my head, but I can’t think of anything.” Applejack hummed in thought, then shrugged her shoulders noncommittally. “Yer guess is as good as mine, Twi. Pinkie’s been less predictable than a ferret that got into Granny’s cider stash durin’ silly season.” “Oh, that’s an image in my head now,” Rainbow frowned. Applejack shrugged again. “Wish Ah had a better idea. All we can really do is see what she’s got planned.” Twilight couldn’t really argue with that. And apparently, neither could the rest of their friends. As they made their way, Fluttershy and Rarity soon joined them, having apparently taken a brief detour to grab lunch, just in case they would be at this for a while. Soon enough, slowly but surely, the buildings thinned out, and the train station came into view. The group didn’t give it a second thought, striding right past it. As they came over the next hill, however, Twilight’s eyes latched onto something that had not been there last time. The serene, grassy hills outside of Ponyville’s train station had been marred by what could only be described as a linear jungle gym. There was a transparent red slide, a ball pit stuffed to the brim with fabrics and cloth of all colors and textures, a wall of books, a poker table with a very confused looking Harry the Bear, Angel Bunny, and Otis the Coyote sitting around it. Had Pinkie abducted them? What was perhaps the most alarming part of this entire construction was the colossal pile of massive rocks stations at the end of it, with a gargantuan boulder balanced haphazardly on the top. It looked as if a stiff breeze would be enough to cause the entire thing to fall apart, sending giant stones rolling everywhere. “Uh, would anypony like to explain what the hay we’re looking at?” Rainbow asked with a raised eyebrow. She jumped a few feet into the air and squinted at the construct as if to divine some clearer purpose. “Because I am beyond confused.” “Whatever it is,” Rarity said, drawing Rainbow’s attention. She gestured ahead, and all eyes turned to see Maud standing at the base of the creation, with an ecstatically bouncing Pinkie Pie coming right for them. “I get the feeling we are about to find out.” “Heya girls!” Pinkie greeted, sliding to a stop in front of them. “I’m so glad you could make it!” “Uhm, hi,” Fluttershy greeted meekly. “Um… What is this?” Pinkie’s grin grew wider. “Oh, this little old thing? I call it: Pinkie-Rainbow-Rari-Twi-Apple-Flutter-Maud FUN TIME!” “That explains literally nothing!” rainbow protested vehemently. Pinkie came forward and grinned up at Rainbow, still bouncing in place. “It combines everypony’s interests into one super fun activity that we can all do together that will bring us all that much closer together!” “That still explains just about nothing!” Rainbow insisted. Pinkie giggle-snorted before gesturing for the others to follow her. “Probably better if I show ya! Come on, Maud’s waiting for us already!” And with that, the pink mare began to happily frolic towards the looming construct. The others shared an uneasy glance before setting off after her at a much slower pace. Applejack broke the silence with a worried tone. “So, is it just me, or does this thing look kinda… flimsy?” Twilight had noticed that herself but didn’t really have a chance to properly process it with how absurd it was and Pinkie’s attempt at an explanation. The whole construct gave the impression that it was a rush job, and very much an improvisation. Just about everything was either made of or framed by wooden beams that crisscrossed at irregular patterns, held in place with loose smatterings of nails and duct tape. It was all quite impressive, to be blunt, but it didn’t exactly look safe, either. Especially those rocks. Where had Pinkie even gotten those? None of them had a chance to question it. The moment they came to Maud’s side, Pinkie began talking all over again. “So, as you can see, the P.R.R.T.A.F.M, or Purrtafm, if you want, is a course composed of all the things we all love! There’s an applesauce tunnel for Applejack, a pile of pretty shiny things for Rarity, a wall of books for Twilight, a game of poker with animals for Fluttershy, cupcakes for yours truly, and it’s all a race for Rainbow Dash! Plus there’s the rockslide at the end for Maud!” “Okay, that kinda explains it,” rainbow admitted, scratching the back of her head. “But it also raises a whole lot of other questions! When did you have time to even think of all this, much less build it?!” “And what are Angel, Harry, and Otis doing here?” Fluttershy asked in surprise on finally noticing the trio of animals. “They were back at home when you came to see me this morning.” Pinkie grinned. “Haha, please.” Maud turned to look at Rainbow. “What were you expecting?” Rainbow sighed and dropped back down to the ground. “About what I got, really,” she said in defeat. Pinkie giggled before taking a few steps back. “Hehe! Here, lemme take a quick run through all of it for ya, just so you all know the route!” “Pinkie,” Applejack spoke up in a firm but gentle voice. “Are ya sure about this? This thing doesn’t exactly look all that safe to me.” “Of course it’s safe!” Pinkie chirped. “I made it!” “That’s the part that worries me.” Pinkie laughed and waved her hoof in dismissal. Twilight’s frown deepened. There it was again. That almost manic, unhinged look. “The mare’s gone insane,” Midnight snorted. “Fantastic. Well, at least we get to watch it all fall down on top of her.” Twilight stiffened and briefly closed her eyes. “It’s not going to do that. It looks weak, but this is Pinkie Pie we’re talking about. This is a mare who can defy the laws of physics! Literally, I’ve seen her do it!” “Until she gets reminded of them, yes yes, I know,” Midnight grumbled. “But who said I was referring to the construct? Even if it doesn’t crumble, it’s pretty obvious just how desperate she’s gotten if this was her ultimate solution. This isn’t going to work. It’s just another waste of her energy and our time!” Twilight wasn’t able to stifle a growl at that but kept it quiet enough that she was sure nopony else heard it. She opened her eyes, ignoring any further remarks Midnight had to make, and instead focused on Pinkie Pie. She didn’t miss Maud giving her a sidelong glance for just a moment, though. Pinkie finally went into motion, jumping headfirst into the red tube. Twilight now saw the apple sauce and cringed when Pinkie leaped from the other side and into the pit of fabrics. “PINKIE!” Rarity shrieked in alarm, her marshmallow face somehow going ashen. “THE FABRICS!” “It washes out, silly!” Pinkie called back before barreling through the wall of books, much to Twilight’s growing chagrin. “How dare that mare disrespect those books like that!” Pinkie continued to work her way through the course, loudly shouting back at everypony else to explain what she was doing and how it related to everything else. But Twilight’s attention was slowly starting to come away from that. Something was wrong. She wasn’t sure what, but she could tell. Her wings ruffled anxiously at her sides, and she turned her attention to Pinkie. Her instincts began to scream at her to warn Pinkie, to get her out of there. Now. “Pinkie!” she called out, unable to stop herself. Pinkie, who was currently in a tall wooden tower topped with a pink plastic dome and floating cupcakes, turned to look at her. “Yeah?!” she shouted to be heard through the wall. An audible groan passed through the woodwork, sending a spike of adrenaline through Twilight’s veins. “I think we get it! You can come back, now!” Twilight shouted, her eyes darting around the construction. Was it starting to sway? There wasn’t any wind that she could feel. “But I haven’t gotten to the rockslide, yet!” Pinkie called back with a roll of her eyes. “Just gimme a sec, I’m almost-” Snap. Twilight’s heart dropped out of her chest. In one moment, everything fell into absolute chaos. One of the four wooden beams that held the tower Pinkie was in aloft suddenly snapped near the base, sending the whole thing lurching to one side. Pinkie fell out of view inside the dome with a high pitched shriek. “PINKIE!” Everypony shouted at once, quickly moving forward. Twilight flared her wings and lit her horn, preparing to teleport Pinkie out. She needed to be fast, the tower was collapsing. Unfortunately, her concentration was broken when the ground beneath her hooves began shaking. Alarmed, Twilight looked around for the source of the disturbance, and her eyes fell on what Pinkie had dubbed the ‘rockslide.’ It appeared that the tremors caused by the tower’s sudden loss of stability had upset the boulder on top, and the entire mound was crumbling. The large boulder rolled down the slope to crash to the ground below, causing the earth to lurch and tremble. Twilight couldn’t focus on her spell through all of that, and by the time she managed to focus back on the tower, it was too late. Twilight cried out as the dome crashed into the red tube, sending it toppling over as well with a deafening, cacophonous crash and a spray of dust mixed with applesauce. Twilight shielded her eyes as well as she could from the cloud of dust, coughing a few times when it washed over them. She grunted and focused on her horn. They didn’t have time for this! Pinkie needed them! With a pulse of magic, a burst of powerful wind expanded out from her, pushing the dust away from them and revealing the damage. Twilight’s stomach twisted into a knot. The entire course had collapsed on itself. It was an absolute mess. She could already hear raised voices from the direction of the train station. No doubt ponies waiting for their ride to arrive had heard the commotion and seen the cloud of dust and pulse of magic. The site would probably be swarming with curious onlookers soon enough. That was no longer of importance. Twilight shook away her shock and broke into a sprint towards where the tower had fallen. “Pinkie!” she called out, fear and dread clawing away at her heart. She could hear the others sprinting behind her, and to her surprise, Maud rapidly pulled ahead, a look of pure, unfiltered terror on the usually bland mare’s face. When they reached the tower, there was no sign of Pinkie. Dirtied cupcake remains were smeared and scattered across the churned soil, while shattered shards of pink plastic littered the ground like shrapnel. The basket of the tower was upside down, having come away from the main pillar after striking the tube.  “Pinkie! Just hang on, we’ll get you out!” Rainbow shouted, already grabbing onto the wreckage and lifting with all her might. “Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay!” Twilight glanced at Rainbow for a second before lending her magic to the effort. To her surprise, the basket almost seemed to weigh nothing in her grasp. The reason became apparent when she saw Maud bodily shoving the basket up with her shoulders with an audible grunt of strain. The whole thing lifted up and tilted back, crashing onto the grass and lurching the ground again. Another cloud of dust formed, and Twilight flapped her wings a few times to try and clear it. She squinted through the dirty haze for any sign of Pinkie. She saw Rainbow and Maud kneeling down, with Fluttershy rushing to join them. Her throat tightened at the sight of a curl of disheveled pink hair. “Huh. Whaddya know?” Midnight mused in surprise. “It literally fell apart on top of her.” Twilight froze, her blood starting to boil in her veins. “What. Did you. Do?!” Midnight scoffed. “What makes you think I did anything? All I can do is talk to you, remember?” she demanded incredulously. “You can hate me as much as you like, but don't waste our time with accusatory hoof-pointing. This wasn’t me.” Twilight snarled before shaking her head and cantering forward to join the others. Her eyes widened. Pinkie’s eyes were closed, and her lower body was pinned beneath more wreckage that Applejack and Maud were working to clear away. Rainbow was kneeling at Pinkie’s side, her hooves hooked under the unconscious mare’s armpits, ready to pull her out. Fluttershy was waiting for her to be freed, no doubt to look for injuries. “Twilight!” Maud called, looking back to Twilight with desperation in her eyes. “Help me lift this thing!” Twilight was briefly taken aback by the intensity of the request. She didn’t hesitate for long, though. Her horn sparked into life, and she set about grasping the wreckage. She groaned with the strain. It felt like somepony was taking a hammer to her cranium, but she didn’t care. Slowly but surely, she lifted much of the debris from the collapse and floated it several yards away, freeing Pinkie and clearing the scene of the disaster, for the most part. Once she set the wreckage down, she let off a sigh of relief and fell to her haunches. She took a moment to catch her breath before focusing on Pinkie. Her chest was starting to darken and swell in an eerily familiar fashion. Twilight winced, memories of the Crystal Empire briefly dancing in front of her eyes. “Is she gonna be alright?!” Applejack asked, adjusting her hat and kneeling down by Pinkie’s side now that the wreckage was gone. Fluttershy lightly felt around Pinkie’s chest, her expression one of complete and utter focus. A few seconds passed before she looked up, the color draining from her face. “Oh my goodness…  Um, I think so, but she needs to see a doctor right away!” she said, pulling her hooves back. “She has a few broken ribs, and, um, I think she might have suffered some other trauma lower down.” Maud took one of Pinkie’s hooves in her own, her ears drooping. “Pinkie…” she whispered quietly. “What were you thinking…?” Twilight looked down, closing her eyes. Somewhere deep inside of her, the knee-jerk thought that this was somehow her fault sprang into the forefront of her mind. Their inability to bond with Maud, her visit spurred on by Twilight’s Fall, and then the decision to tell Pinkie that it just wasn’t working when it all meant so much to her… She was quick to shut down that idea. This wasn’t her. This was an accident. Something like this could have happened to anypony, and she wasn’t about to linger on the past. “Are you sure it could have happened to anypony?” Twilight went rigid at that, her eyes widening. “What?” Midnight merely hummed, however, and did not deign to give her any further information. Twilight growled in frustration. However, before she could follow up on that, Maud’s voice cut through her thoughts, drawing her back to the situation at hoof. “Teleport us.” Twilight blinked and looked up. She saw Maud cradling Pinkie, looking back at her with a pleading look in her eyes. Everypony else was already gathering around and looking to her expectantly. Twilight only hesitated for a moment before nodding. Whatever went wrong here didn’t matter at the moment. Pinkie Pie was hurt and needed help. Until she was taken care of, nothing else mattered. Twilight stepped forward to join the group, though she paused when she saw Rainbow. She hesitated. “Rainbow… are you sure-” “I can handle a teleport, Twi,” Rainbow cut her off without hesitation. “And I’ve gotten a lot better. Just do it. Don’t worry about me.” Twilight hesitated for a second, her heart twisting in her chest. She really didn’t want to cause Rainbow any pain today, but they didn’t exactly have any time to lose. Besides, she knew better than to argue with Rainbow when she got that look on her face. With a hesitant nod, she lit her horn, focusing on the Ponyville Clinic farther into town. With a large flash of light and a loud pop, the group of seven mares disappeared, leaving behind nothing but the ruined remains of Pinkie’s solution.